AN: Loved, loved, loved, LOVED how Carmilla ended. We waited so long and it was so worth it. I loved it so much that I watched the whole episode over and over again. I soon started interpreting what they were probably thinking at the time, since...you know, our minds know no seconds. Our minds either fly or abruptly stop time. It's powerful. So while over-analyzing I wrote some things and here it is. Don't you want to re-live the moment with a little extra? I sure do. UPDATE: After watching again for the 300th time, I decided to add some things.
"Hey." Uttered Laura perplexed at the view.
"Hey." Responded Carmilla as she was also sinking in where she actually was.
When Perry ushered Danny out of the room, it quickly became much more than that. It transformed into a sharply colorful realm. Laura was still baffled that her tiny, irrational, absurd hope she kept lashing out of the way for so many days proved her wrong. It was unbelievable, hence the strong hug she gave the vampire just seconds before. But if this is real, and Carmilla was actually sitting on her bed, right in front of her, that hug might have been a little bit too hard.
"Are you hurt? It—it looks like maybe you're hurt, and—I'm sorry I hugged you so hard that you're hurt…" Laura's words were practically coming out of her mouth like word vomit. Carmilla, who was looking at the floor, immediately turned her eyes to the concerned tiny person in front of her. Tiny concerned Laura was bashfully amusing to her burning eyes. "…it-it's just that…"
She was trying to pinpoint one thing to say, one thing to feel, one thing to look at, out of all the millions of entities that were going through her head at the time. All the while one of those entities was pulling her towards Laura—so hard her body was screaming at her to get up the bed to face Laura, and so she did.
"…you were dead, and—and now you're not, and—and…" Laura was trying to talk so fast her brain wasn't catching on her intended words at the right time. Her stuttering was inevitable and Laura was slapping her mind for making her sound so inadequate and laughable to the now approaching Carmilla. "…I know that you're probably going—" Her mind was faster this time, but to realize now how close Carmilla's face was to her—how close her lips were, so she stopped on her tracks gasping deeply for air while looking at those eyes she missed so much. Carmilla had a determined look she couldn't quite place…but after a split second she recognized it, she has seen it before.
She saw it the night Carmilla came in all charming with ludicrously expensive champagne to their room…the date she planned to capture the vampire with LaFontaine, Danny, Perry and Kirsch's help.
"Maybe it's my keen fashion sense." She said naively before glancing into Carmilla's eyes.
"No it's definitely not that." And there, Laura found herself intently glued to this magnetic look Carmilla placed on her.
She saw it the night danced to an apparently scandalous waltz number with Carmilla—right after the whirl when they both clasped hands.
"In 1698 it may as well have been sex." Laura, who was well aware of her crush on Carmilla then, was taken by surprise by that sentence and decided to roll her eyes up from the floor to question the vampire—and there it was again.
She saw it for a split second before both of them started to freak out about the necklace she had on. Before she was cruelly possessed by the Dean.
"Of course I was doing it for you." As Carmilla got up from her bed and approached to her side, Laura could even feel the look on her after she immediately looked away, laughing at how convenient that moment was for her. Then she was happy to get that look from Carmilla. She couldn't really understand why at the time, but she cracked a smile at the presence of that look.
But now—now Laura wasn't just getting the look, she now understood the look: pure longing. Even though she just gasped for air to keep on talking, her words came out weak and tiny, as if Carmilla's eyes shifting profoundly between her own eyes and lips were taking her breath away. "…through a lot stuff with your mom. It's just that…" And turns out they actually were taking her breath away. With a whimper she finally gave up talking for a second, opening a window for Carmilla, and hoping she takes it because all Laura can do now is stay glued to Carmilla's deep brown eyes, motionless.
Carmilla got it. Her mind was working a hundred miles per hour, and she got that one-second opportunity she was given. The vampire had always been so close to the desired moment, but there always had been something to interrupt them. There had always been a LaFontaine, Perry, Danny, Mother, or some other circumstance that had cut the moment short…or prevent the moment from actually even starting. That split second she got to get herself together was used to meticulously and wordlessly ask the room, ask the door, ask Laura's body language…would anything stop her now? In that split second, no one came at the door, there was no unspeakable horror threatening the tiny human, Laura was waiting for her to move and she could hear her heartbeats getting louder and impatient. Nothing was going to interrupt then, and in all honesty...Carmilla didn't care if that ultimately happened either. She survived, and the person she thought had lost forever was right in front of her. Nothing else mattered. So she moved.
Carmilla lifted her hands to cup Laura's face and brush her pair of lips to the other anxious pair which immediately responded—without hesitation, with an excited gasp—to that much awaited kiss. Laura's hands were stroking down Carmilla's arms, action that was holding her together from falling or flying away.
Their first kiss was soft, sweet, and soothing. It needed to be like that to ground them both for appropriate takeoff. All of the sudden Carmilla was afraid that the moment was over, and that it would never happen again. She was suddenly afraid that Laura would break their current contact and run away, because the girl looked confused. And she was, Laura was confused, not really sure if what just happened really did happen. Instead of forming more coherent thoughts, words were stampeding her mouth again. Damn you, word vomit. "And I know that you didn't do everything for me, but I just—" As she started babbling Carmilla washed all worries out the window. This was definitely a positive reaction and cute nonetheless...so she found herself letting out a shaky, relieved breath while grinning at the scene.
Even though Laura's dramatic voice sounded like heaven to Carmilla right now, she wanted to shut her up, so she quickly pulls her in for another kiss to effectively startle her...and then she is met by a squealing and laughing Laura halfway to resume the kiss, and the girl was now delicately holding on to her body. Both were grinning like fools at this point. It was grounding.
Once they were both in the same place and opened their eyes to look at one another, it all felt right. They looked at each other deeply—really looked at each other; both floating on cloud nine finally realizing that this moment was actually happening. They were both smiling, glowing and wondering why on Earth they waited so long to do this…but mostly they were both so relieved it could actually happen. Carmilla came back; Carmilla wasn't actually dead—well, dead-dead.
It took days for Laura to unconsciously move without constantly hitting her brain to help her. She eventually watched the "actually-not-a-soppy-heartfelt-goodbye" video Carmilla left for her. She blamed herself for not saving the giant black cat that saved her before she went into the light. But really, what could she do? Then she blamed herself for not being able to save the giant black cat, being useless. She thought about her terrible roommate every single passing day and the big gesture she made for her. How Carmilla would have wanted her to move on and still look at the world as she used to…but it was difficult because there really wasn't a world left for her without Carmilla. After some mothering from Perry and her other friends, Laura finally considered the possibility that she would be able to compose herself, make some progress and end her video-diary indefinite hiatus. But as that step was happening, her world was flipped upside down by a very much alive—well, dead-alive—Carmilla…and there they were.
Laura's excitement built up times a hundred by each previous kiss, so after gazing intently and laughing at her stupid self, she took the courage to launch herself and kiss Carmilla fully and wholeheartedly, holding on tighter to the vampire's waist and hair, with the latter gladly pulling her in and also holding her as she were afraid to let go. This was a reassuring kiss, a "wow thisis real" kiss. They were both basking each short-lived second and every movement of it…slowly and carefully.
After once again they pulled away. Carmilla's hands, never having moved from Laura's face, were now stroking her hair. She was speechless and all she could do was smile widely at Laura. It was all still very surreal nonetheless, so when the the tiny girl uttered the predictable and inevitable "Wow..." one of Carmilla's hands went down to hold on to Laura's arm, mimicking Laura's earlier actions. Yes, wow.
"So you're a giant black cat, huh?" 50 seconds. I all happened in 50 seconds.