" Goddammit Sherlock! You saw how traumatized that poor woman was! Don't give me that look! You yelled at her in front of her husbands', ex-boyfriends' and goddaughters' mangled corpses!"
DI Lestrade yelled on the top of lungs at the world's only consulting detective, in the living room of 221b Baker Street.
"Well you wouldn't have figured out that her brother was the murderer without scaring her, now would you ?" Sherlock yelled back.
Lestrade glared back and ran a hand through his rapidly graying hair.
" Wow, what'd you do this time?" a female voice sliced through the air.
Lestrade spun around in surprise to see a short, small framed dark skinned young woman leaning against the doorway.
" Artemis! Go back to your flat!" Sherlock ordered.
Artemis just smirked condescendingly at Sherlock " Can't John ordered me to keep an eye on you till he gets back ." she said as though Greg didn't exist.
Sherlock only rolled his eyes and flopped gracefully into his caught Greg's eye and her red lips curved into a predatory smirk.
" Hello, you must be DI Lestrade." she said pushing herself off the door frame and coming forward with an outstretched hand.
Greg reached for automatically and shook it, " Uh...yes how did..?" he asked still shocked.
Artemis cut him off " Ink stains on your hand suggests an copious amount of paperwork, you have a tan line on your ring finger that shows that you had been married a while before you divorced her, most likely because she was sleeping with someone else. Your hair is almost entirely grey and yet you can't be bit a more older than John, so you have a high-stress job. Not to mention you were yelling at the world's only consulting detective about a somewhat boring sounding case, and the only person Sherlock knows that fits that description is Di Lestrade." she finished, stupefying Greg for an entire minute.
" ..And you are?" he asked, once his voice returned
" Artemis Holmes, Sherlock's niece." at that DI Greg Lestrade of New Scotland yard fainted.
Both Holmes peered down at his unconscious form.
"Was it something I said?" Artemis asked