THE OSCHNUR SWITCH
by ardavenport
o::o::o Part 1
"Doctor, what are you doing up there?"
'Admiring the view, of 's magnificent. Come up and have a look."
*Oh, no." Sarah fiercely planted her feet on the ground. "I'm not getting up there. I'll break my neck. You're probably not supposed to be there, anyway."
'Don't be such a spoilsport, Sarah." The Doctor knelt at the edge of the stone table and reached out a hand to her. 'No one's going to mind our being up here for a little while."
Sarah hesitated a few more seconds, but the Doctor was persistent. 'Come on," he said, stretching out his hand again.
"You're getting soft, Sarah," she said to herself, as she started climbing up the pedestal.
"that was that?"
"I said, We'll probably get caught.''
Sarah took the Doctor's hand and scrambled up the stone table leg. The Doctor took her arm and led her to one side of the platform.
It was a splendid view. The sculpture they were standing on was at the top of the hill. A narrow road started at the base of the statue and made a crooked path down through a small forest of yellow leafy palms, flat topped orange trees and gigantic green ferns. It emptied out into a wide highway leading straight away from them. Colorful, boxlike buildings lined the street and people and small vehicles freely wandered about. In the distance, Sarah could see black glass cylindrical structures standing in a green and gray field dotted with both large and small spacecraft.
'You can see the Palasis Way from up here." The Doctor grinned broadly.
"You mean we really are on Oschnur?'
"Of course! Port Kat Schnur, to be precise,' he stated casually. He pointed to the gray and green field in the distance. 'You can see the spaceport over there. Looks like we're just in time for the summer festival.
"Well, that's a switch."
'What?" the Time Lord asked.
"We got here on the first try."
"Are you implying that I don't know where I'm going?"
"Only most of the time."
The Doctor took a very offended stance, turned and strode over to the edge. "Are you coming?" he demanded.
"Where?"
"Well, we are here for a holiday. We can't get much of that standing up here."
Sarah trotted over to him and he lowered her to the pedestal.
"Ugh," she said, as she looked in the direction of the Doctor's feet.
"Yes,: he agreed. "We're not the first people to come up here." The statue that they'd been using as a viewing platform was a huge structure consisting of three bug-like creatures apparently playing cards at a round table. The whole thing was made of pristine, whitewashed concrete, but the surface of the table they'd been standing on was covered with graffiti.
"Must be a very popular spot," the Time Lord commented.
When they were down, Sarah turned to him. "Well, now where?"
"This way," he said, pointing over his shoulder.
The walk down the hill was a pleasant one. The Doctor whistled the bridge-crossing song from 'The Bridge on the River Kwai' and Sarah strolled along happily behind him. For once, she had worn sensible shoes and was really enjoying the walk.
When they got down to the central street that they'd seen from the statue, Sarah found that the buildings weren't quite as box-like as she'd thought. Some were round and some triangular. Most of them had attractive trim around rectangular windows and doors. People milled about the walkways. Port Kal-Schnur was a place well known to travelers: insectoids, reptiles, robots, and huge furry somethings with big, nasty teeth. There were some humans mixed in, but the most predominant type by far were some medium-sized, furred humanoids with large eyes and moveable pointed ears at the top of their heads.
'Seems to be in full swing."
"What does?"
"The summer festival, didn't I mention it?"
"Yes, you did, but what is it?"
"Oh well, it's really sort of a made-up holiday. Kal-Schnur is a bit of a tourist trap." The Doctor grinned."But it's still a nice place to visit."
They strolled along the avenue until they came to an immense square with an open air market. They peered in at the booths overflowing with corralled handicrafts, useful, useless, and otherwise, until they came to a stall filled with furniture. The Doctor took a great fancy to a large sofa with a box-like wooden frame and big, fluffy purple cushions.
"Hmm." He smiled broadly and bounced up and town. "Quite comfy, really. The Emperor Z'Tullis VIII gave me one of these for helping him find one of his daughters. Had a devil of a time getting the thing into the TARDIS." He patted the armrest fondly.
"That's silly. How could you get it through the door?"
"I haven't ever showed you the dimensional transfer access, have I?"
He hadn't and she was about to ask him about it when another idea took the Doctor's fancy.
"How about lunch?*
"Famished; are you buying?"
The Doctor's face turned sour for a moment. Quickly, he went through his pockets. He pulled out all manner of junk and looked at each until he found what he was seeking.
"Ah ha!" he crowed, waving three orange and maroon pieces of plastic in the air. He refilled his pockets, leaped off the sofa, and headed through the crowds for the shops that lined the market's square. His scarf ends and Sarah followed in his wake.
After some searching, he came across a plain blue and white metal booth sitting between a bakery and a car park. The Doctor stepped into the booth and pressed the green service button.
'May I help you?' A panel in front of the Doctor slid aside to reveal an automated teller.
"Yes, I'd like to exchange these.: The Doctor smiled warmly at the two blue electronic eyes and laid the three plastic cards on a shelf in front of the automaton. There was a whir and a dull red light flashed across the Doctor's cards. Then, click! A hole opened up and sucked away the cards. At the same time another hole opened and deposited several smaller peach and yellow engraved plastics in a little round holder to the Doctor's left.
"Three-hundred galactic credits, standard, for two-thousand zon, local. May I be of further service, sir?"
"No. I don't think so. Would you like anything from this nice computer, Sarah? No? Well, it is a nice computer, don't you think?: The Doctor babbled, pocketing the money.
"Thank you, sir. And have a nice day." The teller disappeared behind its sliding panel.
"This must be our day," Sarah commented, when he stepped out of the booth.
The Doctor beamed. Things did seem to be going right. "Now where would you like to eat?"
"Oh, anywhere that serves food, I suppose."
"Good!" They set out in search of a meal and settled on a nice place with open air tables that looked out onto the market.
The lunch was delicious, although the Doctor complained that it was criminal that Sarah should come all the way across the galaxy only to have fried chicken. Sarah countered that everything else on her plate was something she'd never heard of, let alone eaten, and that she wanted something familiar.
After using the restrooms and paying the bill, they continued their window shopping in the market.
They were just passing a row of food vendors when the Doctor got a yen for desert. He looked up at the sky. It was a beautiful sky, very much like Earth's, except for the yellow-green sun, and not a cloud in it. The Doctor looked back at the vendors and remembered reading somewhere that humans, particularly Earth humans, had an aversion to blue food. He wondered if this was true.
The Doctor crossed over to a fruit seller and bought two round, brilliant blue pashays. He then took them back to Sarah and offered one to her.
'Ugh, no thank you. I'm still full from lunch."
"Oh, come now, just because you don't like the color.: The Doctor took a large, juicy bite out of his own and offered the second to her again.
"I didn't say I didn't like the color." Sarah eyed the pashay suspiciously. 'I just said I'm full. No, thank-you."
Sarah's denial seemed to prove the theory so the Doctor tucked the second one in his coat pocket and finished his own. It seemed a bit ripe for his taste, but it was still tasty and he quickly finished it and put the seed in another coat pocket.
Sarah's aversion to the pashay may or may not have been on account of its color. Nevertheless, an hour later the Doctor was sick.
o::o::o o::o::o o::o::o o::o::o o::o::o
Two aliens entered the plain waiting room. Filtered air, coordinated blue furniture, nondescript pictures on the wall and a few nondescript people greeted them. The small one helped the big one over to a gray furred young Oschnuran behind a polished-sythetic-topped desk.
Zeges looked up at the two humans.
"Excuse me," the female introduced herself and her friend. "My friend isn't feeling very well and we thought he ought to see a doctor."
The male leaned on the female's arm, in a posture of grim suffering. He did not even look up when the female-Smith, introduced him and he trembled slightly. Zeges judged the situation to merit immediate attention and dispensed with some of the official formalities. "Yes, come with me." Smoothly, he took the Doctor's arm and escorted the two to one of the examination rooms. :I will inform Dr. Gennis of your presence," he said softly, before leaving.
Sarah sighed as she pulled up a three legged stool next to the table the Doctor was lying on. The room they were in now was typical of most medical facilities-white walls and subdued lighting, with a few strategically placed bright ones. Glass-doored cabinets stacked with bottles and bottles of unidentifiable things. There was a bit more electronic equipment than Sarah might have expected, including what looked like a computer terminal near the head of the examination table. The Doctor ignored all of this an concentrated on his misery.
"How do you feel?" Sarah asked.
"Terrible." The Doctor put a hand to his forehead. Nasty little acid bugs were boiling inside of him. His stomach was preparing to rebel and he could feel a pressure bulding in his lower abdomen. And now he was getting a headache. "I still think it wa the squash."
"Oh, have it your way." Immediately Sarah regretted being short with her companion. He wasn't feeling well after all. "Well, it's been a lovely day, Doctor, otherwise. I mean . . . I wouldn't have expected anything like this happening."
"Nonsense," the Doctor answered without opening his eyes. "This sort of thing happens to tourists all the time."
At that moment, an Oschnuran and another nurse entered the room. "Hello," she began quietly.
Did all of these people have soft voices? Sarah wondered. This one was tall for an Oschnuran, about six feet. She had blue eyes, pale gray fur and black ears, face and hand markings that reminded Sarah very much of Siamese cat.
"I am Dr. Gennis, Doctor - -," she nodded to the Doctor, "and Smith."
"Sarah Jane," Sarah corrected.
"Sarah Jane," Gennis repeated. She introduced the nurse, a small, short Oschnuran with green eyes and faintly striped tan fur. "This is Cafnur, Sarah Jane. I need for you to answer some questions while I examine your friend."
"Uh, um, all right." Sarah answered, a little reluctant to leave. "Good luck, Doctor," she said as she was led from the room. The Doctor limply waved a hand in response and then lay still.
Gennis drew the computer teminal a little closer and pulled a medical probe out of her pocket. After removing his long scarf and gently unbuttoning his shirt and vest with delicate six-fingered hands, consisting of two thumbs and four fingers, she passed the probe over the Doctor's chest.
"Zeges speaks that you think you ate something that did not agree."
"Something like that," the Doctor suddenly opened his pale blue eyes very wide and looked straight at Gennis. "I know this isn't the best way to introduce myself," he told her in a strained voice, "but I really do think I'm going to be sick."
o::o::o o::o::o o::o::o o::o::o o::o::o
"Name?"
"Doctor."
"Planet of origin?"
"Gallifrey."
"Species?"
This one threw Sarah a bit. What was the Doctor, anyway? "Um, I don't know, He's from Gailifrey."
"Is he a human?"
"No," Sarah answered immediately. "He's a Time Lord.'
"A . . . Time Lord?"
"Yes."
Cafnur was a bit dubious about the entry, but typed it in nonetheless. "I shall need a general description of your friend."
This was a bit easier to handle. Basically human in appearance, brown curly hair, blue eyes, light skin. There was some confusion with the physical measurements since Cafnur didn't understand pounds and inches but they got around this by comparing the Doctor to Sarah's own height and weight.
"And a large protuberance?" Cafnur added, by pointing to the flat center of her own face, Sarah was surprised by this addition, but since Oschnurans didn't have noses, she reasoned that they might find the Doctor's a bit disturbing.
"Ah yes, he's got a big nose."
There was a whole stream of questions about allergies, personal habits, and medical history, all of which made Sarah realize how little she knew about the Doctor.
Cafnur completed the entries as well as she could and then turned to the human.
"I have recorded this information in a file for Doctor. As I said, it will be used by us only for the purpose of treating his and not be given to other persons without permission."
Sarah nodded.
"Now, as you are off-planet, I must inquire as to payment of the fee."
"Oh well, the Doctor's got all our money. I don't know what medical bills are like on this planet, but he's got about two-thousand zon."
Cafnur was a bit surprised by the amount, but tourists commonly carried large sums. "Yes, this is much more than is needed. Payment can be discussed later as well."
Dr. Gennis approached, nodded to thee both, then spoke to Cafnur.
"I will need these analyzed immediately.' She gave the nurse a tray containing several phials that Sarah didn't look at too closely. Gennis then turned to her.
"I find myself in some difficulty,' she explained. "I had assumed from the Doctor's appearance he was human. This is not so. Are you of the same species?"
"No, I'm from Earth."
"Hmmm." Gennis considered this and then explained further. "As you may know, Oschnur has a planetary wide information-intellect network, the Hestis."
Sarah didn't know this, but didn't bother saying so.
"The medical information section of which I use to treat off-world patients.: Gennis hesitated and tugged at the sleeves of her white coat, clearly uncomfortable. Sarah glanced at her dark hands and noticed for the first time that she had six fingers. "I have entered Doctor's characteristics into the network but find that there is no information at all on his type or on any similar. Can you give me specific medical information about Doctor?"
"No. I've already told Cafnur all I know." For once Sarah found herself wishing that UNIT's medical officer, Harry Sullivan, was with them. Harry didn't know a whole hell of a lot about the Doctor, but he had at least examined his medically on a few occasions and could probably tell what was 'normal', "Look, do you know what's wrong with him?"
"I believe he has taken in a Tsenis parasite."
"A what?"
"A Tsenis parasite. You are not familiar with it?"
Sarah shook her head.
"It normally breeds in improperly stored fresh fruit and vegetables."
"I knew it. It was that blue thing he ate."
"You know what food it was? Kf so, we must know where you got it from." By this time Cafnur had returned and Sarah gave all the details to them both.
"He's even still got the pit from the one he ate and another one in his pocket," she concluded.
"That is very good. It leaves only the question of treatment."
"What do you have to do?"
'Tsenus is very stubborn. kastolin will kill it but we must also remove all food matter from the victim's digestive tract." That didn't sound very pretty to Sarah. "But since we don't know what Doctor is, we cannot be sure what this will do to him."
"I know-why don't you ask the Doctor? He knows all sorts of things and I'm sure he could tell you if anything you gave his would hurt him."
"I will see to this immediately. Do not concern. I will tell you his condition when finished. Tsenus is rarely critical," she reassured and left to tend the Doctor. Sarah now found herself with copious free time to wait. After some inquiries, Cafnur got her something to read; a Terran translation about the Tsenus parasite.
o::o::o End Part 1