Author's Note: Another introspective, this time from Dinah.

Ghost in the Closet

I have visions.

Visions that kept me trapped in a dark place when I was little. Both literally, and metaphorically. I had no real Mom. Well, I did, but she left me. My foster parents were the Redmonds: psychotic fanatics that did everything in their power to see that my power was kept suppressed and hidden. Some of my most memorable childhood moments were not of birthday parties and friends, but of beatings and the insides of locked closets...of bloody gashes and blackened bruises.

Basically, it sucked.

But then one day, I'd had enough. I took a risk and left Opal in search of something I wasn't even sure was real. People I'd never even known. Barbara later told me that what I'd done was dangerous. That I could have been killed. But you don't need to have visions to know that had I stayed, the "could have" would have become a "would have."

I don't regret my decision. The life I found in New Gotham was more than I could have hoped for. Yeah, okay, I never really wanted to get thrown into that dumpster by a crazed meta last week, but at least I'm happy and making difference. I have friends, and a family that understands who I am. More importantly, they don't try to make me hide who I really am. Even if I do something bad, I'm still treated like a human being.

Every once and awhile though, I can't help but remember what happened to me back in Opal. At the most unexpected moments all I can see is a little girl pounding on the door begging to be let go. It comes back to me and I'm no longer looking back at a memory, but I'm there. It's only when someone calls my name or shakes me that I snap out of it. I imagine Helena and Barbara have probably figured part of it out by now, but by some act of mercy aren't saying anything.

Then again, maybe it isn't mercy, but maybe silent understanding instead.

Both of them have had dark pasts of their own to contend with. Barbara was shot, and Helena lost her Mom. There are times when Barbara just stares at the Delphi screen for long moments doing nothing. Even Helena will sometimes pass up fighting me for the last pop tart and just sulk on the couch for awhile. I even get the feeling sometimes that it runs deeper than that.

And that scares me.

We live in a world with superheroes, some caped, some not, and still there are those of us that fall through the cracks and are left unprotected. We all started out innocent, and yet by some random twist of fate have been left scarred. I think it's slightly ironic then, with my choice of careers. And its hard not feel completely hopeless when you live with the constant fear that maybe there's someone you're missing…..someone that is slowly being twisted like you once were. What keeps you going, is that one person you do save. Every person I help is a step towards healing, and I know it's the same for them too.

I guess that sounds a little selfish.

But really, I think everyone in this business is doing it for some selfish reason or another….even if they don't mean to. It's something that motivates you to get up and ridiculous hours of the night and risk your life for someone who might not even know you were there. It doesn't seem like a bad thing though, after all, it does work out pretty well for everyone. A sort of give and take. An intangible payback for all that we do.

That's what keeps me going….keeps me sane…keeps me from losing myself in the dark closet of my past. I just hope that someday I'll be able to move on. Not forget, but let go. And maybe then the ghost that still finds herself trapped inside can finally be set free.