Why a New Year special? Because ADR has gone through two years with the Azu-girls, and both of them had Christmas chapters, but not a single New Year's chapter. And with that, on with the story!
Warning: Possible strong sexual reference
…
8:00pm New Years Eve
…
Joe, Sakaki, and Nekosa walked out of their house and down the road. They were headed over to Chiyo's house for a New Year's Eve party.
Normally, they would have headed to the shrine to pray on New Years, but this year they decided not to.
In consideration for what happened last year…
…
Last Year
…
"Holy crap, it's busy!!" Joe yelled. The bustling of people almost completely drowned out his voice.
Suddenly, and out of nowhere, everyone began pushing forward. The entire group of Sakaki, Joe, Tomo, Yomi, Kagura, and Kaorin forward.
Pushed right towards Osaka.
"Hey…" Osaka said. "What's everybody doin?...Oh! Are we doin' the conga line? And I'm the leader?! Yay!"
Osaka then proceeded to sing an Osaka-slurry version of the stereotypical conga song.
"NO OSAKA!! GET OUT OF THE WAY!!" They all screamed.
…
End flashback
…
Needless to say, they wanted to avoid that mess.
Along the way to Chiyo's house, Joe, Sakaki, and Nekosa met up with Tomo, Yomi, and Koyomiko, all coming out of their house.
"Hey, Nekosa, gonna stay up all night?" Koyomiko asked.
Nekosa nodded.
"Yeah! Me too!! I'm gonna stay up all night like the adults do!" Koyomiko said, with that Tomo-like energy of hers.
"That's my girl!" Tomo said, rubbing Koyomiko's head with her empty hand.
Because in the other one, Tomo carried an American football.
"Hey, Tomo, is that a football?" Joe asked. "Where in the world did you get a football?"
"Internet" Tomo responded. "Hey, Joe, stay right there!"
The group stopped, and Tomo ran forward, then stopped.
"Hey, Joe, c'mon, I'll hold it!" Tomo said. She placed the football down and held it in field-goal-kick position.
Joe got ready, and signaled to Tomo. Tomo nodded back, signaling she was ready.
Joe ran at the football, going as fast as he possibly could. As he reached the football, he swung his foot back, then forward…
And Tomo moved the football out of the way.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!"
Joe flew through the air, and landed hard on his back.
He stared up at the sky as Tomo came walking over with the football underneath her arm.
"That's how we play American Football, Charlie Brown" Tomo said, giving him a big wildcat grin at the end.
"I hate you." Joe said bluntly.
…
Upon reaching Chiyo's house, the group took off their shoes and jackets (Joe cracked his back), and they all went in and sat down at a table in the main living room that Chiyo and Shaun had set up (it was set up right underneath the chandelier). Chiyo had also gotten the TV set up in the living room so they could watch the countdown.
Kagura, Kaorin, Koharu, Osaka, and Arata were already there.
"So, you kids gonna stay up?" Shaun asked.
"YEAH!!" All three kids declared, fist-pumping into the air.
"hehe…We'll just see…" Shaun said, a slight grin on his face. He truly believed that the kids couldn't do it.
"I still have the nutcracker from Christmas" Koharu threatened.
Everybody laughed except Shaun, who shivered.
"Oh, that reminds me…" Osaka began. "I think Santa Claus is a big pervert."
"Why would you think that, Osaka-sempai?" Koharu asked.
Kagura and Kaorin flinched. It always scared them a little that their own child would call Osaka 'sempai'.
"Well, think about it…" Osaka said to the child. "If he sees you when you're sleeping, and he knows when you're awake, then he also sees you when you're on the toilet, or when you're changing clothes, or when you're swimming naked…"
"OSAKA!!!" Everybody except Arata and the three kids screamed out.
"Oh, sorry, that's right. You don't swim naked." Osaka said to Kagura.
"It would be hot if she did…" Kaorin whispered with a smile.
Both Kagura and Kaorin blushed deeply.
"I really don't think the kids need to be hearing this…" Joe said.
"Oh, c'mon!" Koharu said.
"Yeah, I hear worse stuff from my Mama all the time!" Koyomiko said.
"And I saw it…" Nekosa said.
This caused both Joe's and Sakaki's faces to turn red.
"Oh, that thought about Santa Claus does remind me of something…" Joe said, changing the subject.
He stood up, walked over to Tomo's side of the table, and proceeded to hit Tomo on the head.
"OUCH!!" Tomo screamed. "What the heck was that for?"
…
Flashback
…
The doorbell rings at Sakaki's house.
"Huh…wonder who that is?" Joe said as he gets up and answers the door.
A deliveryman is at the door, holding a very large package.
"I don't remember ordering anything…" Joe said.
"It's a Christmas present…" the delivery man said. "It says here it's a gross of Trouser Snakes for a Joe Sakaki from a Tomo Takino."
"TAKINOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" Joe screamed out angrily.
…
End Flashback
…
Tomo burst out laughing.
"Damn it all…" Joe mumbled, blushing heavily, as returned to his seat.
"Hey, Tomo, are you ever going to stop insulting him about that?" Yomi wondered.
"Nope! I'm gonna taunt him about it until he dies!" Tomo said. She burst out laughing once again.
Joe also noticed that Shaun was trying his hardest not to laugh. Joe began massaging his own forehead with two fingers.
"I don't get it. What is it about men and size?" Arata asked.
"Well, aren't you concerned about it?" Joe asked.
"Not really, considering I had a big one…" Arata said.
"You HAD a big one?" Joe asked.
"Yeah." Arata responded. "It was a large trouser snake, then it died."
Everybody sweat-dropped. That wasn't Arata. That was Osaka in guy form.
…
Later that night
…
"So, I guess we should talk about New Year's resolutions…" Joe started.
"LOSE 10 KILOGRAMS!!" Yomi yelled. (That's about 22 lbs)
"Yeah, right!!" Tomo said, laughing a bit. "You always make that resolution, and you can never do it!!"
"I don't know…" Joe said, smiling evilly. "With you running her around, she just may be able to do it this year."
"Plus, didn't you have those diet pills?" Shaun asked. Chiyo had told Shaun a while back about the pills that Yomi had.
"I stopped taking them." Yomi said. "I still have them in case I get too fat, but I want to make sure they last, considering the company that makes them is backed up even further now."
Oh's went around the room.
"So, what about the rest of you?" Joe asked.
"I'm going to try to enjoy life as best I can." Kaorin responded.
"I'm going to train hard for the Olympics!" Kagura declared.
"I'm going to catch an alien!!" Osaka declared.
Everybody except Arata and Koharu sweat-dropped.
"Go for it, Osaka-sempai!!" Koharu said, giving Osaka a thumbs-up.
"And I will definitely help you!" Arata said.
"So, what about you kids?" Joe asked.
"I'm going to draw pictures, and get better at drawing them!" Koyomiko declared.
"That's my girl!" Tomo yelled, giving Koyomiko a big thumbs up.
"I'm going to beat Natsuko-mama's dad in arm wrestling!!" Koharu declared.
"Hey, with that attitude, you can do it!!" Kagura said.
"I'm going to…t-try to…" Nekosa started. "…g-get past my fear of dogs."
Sakaki hugged Nekosa, both of them blushing slightly.
"You do your best!" Sakaki told her.
"Speaking of which, where's Tadaichi-san?" Yomi asked.
"He's up in my room. He never stays up during New Years." Chiyo responded, giggling a little bit at the end.
"Well, back on subject…" Shaun started. He wrapped one arm around Chiyo. "I'm going to try to love Chiyo more."
Chiyo blushed.
"Oooooh, Chiyo's gotta boyfriend!!" Tomo taunted.
"It's not embarrassing, Tomo!" Chiyo yelled. "I just like it when he does stuff like that!!"
"So, Sakaki-san, what are your New Year's Resolutions?" Kaorin asked.
Sakaki let go of Nekosa, and looked up at the ceiling. She thought about it for a moment.
"I guess…I just want to protect Nekosa from harm…and I hope to…" Sakaki started blushing. "…be a good wife."
Everyone was totally silent.
Joe wrapped one arm around Sakaki.
"Tanaka, you never have to worry about that sort of thing. You'll ALWAYS be a good wife."
Sakaki's blush became more noticeable. She smiled at her husband, who was smiling back at her.
The two shared a romantic kiss.
Which got everybody else in the mood, and they all shared kisses as well.
"EWWWWW!!!" All three kids screamed out, sticking their tongue's out in disgust.
…
11:50:55 pm
…
"OK, here it comes…" Chiyo said.
"3…2…1…HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!" Everyone, including the kids, screamed.
"Ha! Proved you wrong!" Koharu yelled, pointing a finger at Shaun.
"Yeah, ya did." Shaun admitted.
And just like that, the kids instantly fell asleep.
"hehe…" Shaun said. "But just barely…"
A snoring down the table indicates two more victims to the New Year's bash.
Osaka and Arata had fallen asleep. Everybody laughed.
The laughing caused Arata to stir. Everyone slapped their hands over their mouths to try to quiet down.
Arata turned over, wrapped his arms around Osaka, and pulled her close.
"Awww…He really does like her, doesn't he?" Shaun said.
And with that, everybody got up, said goodbye, and left Chiyo's house. Kagura held Koharu piggyback style, Yomi did with Koyomiko, and Sakaki did with Nekosa.
Shaun and Chiyo stood at the doorway, waving goodbye.
"So, what are we going to do with them?" Shaun asked, thumbing over to Osaka and Arata.
"Just leave them there. They'll get up on their own in the morning…" Chiyo said, as she headed up to her room.
Shaun stared at the two sleeping by the table. Osaka had a slight grin on her face.
Shaun couldn't help but smile himself. Osaka must really love this guy to have a grin on her face in her sleep.
Shaun closed the door, and headed upstairs to Chiyo's room.
"Well, Chiyo, I gotta say, that was quite the…" he stopped as he noticed Chiyo on her bed. She hadn't even had the energy to change into her pajamas. She had fallen asleep.
"heh…Party wore her out…" Shaun said, rubbing the back of his head with one hand.
He looked around the house from Chiyo's doorway. Osaka and Arata were asleep, and the only other one in the house was Tadaichi-san, who had stayed in Chiyo's room the entire time, and he was also already asleep.
Shaun turned off the light, and crawled next to Chiyo. He quickly pulled her closer, just like Arata had done with Osaka. And just like Osaka, a little grin formed on Chiyo's face.
Shaun never saw it, however, as he too quickly fell asleep.
…
Kagura and Kaorin came home. They put Koharu to sleep, and kissed her forehead. The two then headed to their own room.
But as Kagura removed her shirt, Kaorin snuck up on her from behind.
"Guess what I'm wearing?" Kaorin said, a blush on her face.
"Mmmm…your pajamas?" Kagura guessed.
"Guess again…" Kaorin said.
Kagura looked over at Kaorin's face, saw the blush, then it kind of hit her.
"Absolutly nothing?" Kagura asked.
Kaorin giggled, signaling that the answer had been correct.
Kagura blushed too, but got that 'turned on' look in her eye.
The two fell back on the bed, and finished off the night with some great 'adult' fun.
…
Upon returning to their house, Sakaki put Nekosa to bed.
And Sakaki couldn't help but think that Nekosa had possibly the cutest sleeping face.
Sakaki and Joe kissed Nekosa's forehead, then headed off to bed.
The two of them simply fell asleep that night. Both of them were physically exhausted already.
However, Yomi and Tomo would spend their New Year's a little differently…
…
Tomo and Yomi walked in the door, Koyomiko still asleep on Yomi's back. The two put Koyomiko into her own bed, and kissed her on the forehead. As the two stood there, staring at their daughter's face, a thought came across their mind.
They were all alone…
The two quickly ran upstairs, and locked the door.
But as the two were kissing on the bed (Both still fully clothed, Yomi on bottom) a thought came across Tomo.
Hm…Joe did it, so I'm wondering if there's something special, Tomo thought.
"Oi, Yomi, I'm wondering something…" Tomo said.
"Yeah?" Yomi said, still feeling a little 'turned on'.
Tomo moved herself down, and for no apparent reason, put her head right on Yomi's breasts.
"Wow, these things are soft…" Tomo pointed out.
A blush and a shocked look came across Yomi's face.
"Wonder why?" Tomo thought, as she lifted up her head, and pointed at Yomi's breasts.
But Tomo's pointing finger moved closer, and…
Poke.
WHAM!!! Yomi's fist came down hard on Tomo's head.
"Idiot!!" Yomi screamed, as she stood up, pushing Tomo off of her. "God, you ruined the mood, too!"
Yomi left the room, leaving Tomo sitting on the bed.
"Wait!" Tomo yelled, with one outstretched hand and the other rubbing her head. "It was just a thought! C'mon, Yomi! It's New Years!!"
…
(Jamesbondkid (JBK) and Ayumu Kasuga's Revenge (AKR) are sitting on a bench in a park. JBK is drinking a vodka martini)
AKR: Hey, James, I've been meaning to ask you…
JBK: What?
AKR: Whatever inspired you to write Tomo x Yomi for 'Azumanga Daioh Returns'?
(JBK stares off into the sky, thinking about it. He then stares back at the ground, now looking deep in thought.)
JBK: Hm…what was it?...There was a reason…
(Someone lands on the ground about a yard away from them, catching their attention. Funari comes in, looking peeved)
Guy: But all I said was I was making a Tomo x Chiyo fic!
Funari: NO, YOU SICKO!! Tomo x Yomi!! TO….YO…MI!!!!!
(Funari kicks up wind to knock this guy into the air, then uses wind again to knock him into a wall)
AKR: (turning back to JBK) So….did you think of it yet?
JBK: Ah, no, but it's really drivin' me nuts, too, eh…
AKR: Hey, we gotta do the signoff!!
Funari: Hey, I'm in!
All three: HAPPY NEW YEAR'S EVERYONE!!! (JBK drinks down the martini)
…
Author's notes: I actually got that last part's idea by looking at 'Fade to Osaka' s profile. He listed all of his favorite pairings for Azumanga Daioh, and the very last one went exactly like this:
Tomo X Yomi (Only because of Funakounasoul)
And I thought about it. Funari really inspired me to do Tomo and Yomi (and probably Jay) too.
Moving on, the flashback at the beginning comes from a hilarious picture Funari has out on Photobucket called "Conga line"
As for poor Tomo, I had that thought for a while. Something perverted that Tomo hadn't done yet.
Oh, and the whole 'trouser snake' joke belongs to Weener1. He gave me the entire idea, and asked me to put it in.
Happy New Year's to all!!!
-JBK2K1