(Half this fanfiction is dedicated to Lian. The other half is dedicated to me failing my psych final I sacrificed studying for to write this.)

By the time Alec got to Brooklyn he realized he hadn't remembered getting there, just that he was making his way to Magnus' house without even consciously realizing. He also noticed his hands were shaking ever so slightly and his heart was pounding in his chest. He hadn't been this nervous since the first time he'd come to ask the warlock out.

Carefully he drew in a breath to calm himself and felt everything in his body ease. He did this just in time to make his way up the stairs and slowly towards Magnus' door.

Alec knocked twice. This gesture bothered him more than he would have liked to admit. He'd normally just use his key but since Magnus had broken up with him he'd taken it back. Knocking felt like surrender, as if there was not chance for anything to get better. He felt like a stranger who wasn't permitted to enter somewhere he had spent so much of his time. So many moments happened behind this door and it was the only thing stopping him from reaching them.

There was the sound of someone moving and then the door creaked open. Alec, who had been about to say something stopped. Instead of the tall, handsome warlock there was a girl, who looked to be in her early twenties glancing at him curiously.

"Oh…" Her eyes widened at seeing him as if she recognized him, though he was certain he'd never seen this girl before in his life. His mind moved forward quickly as his thoughts jumped to unwelcome conclusions he asked, "Is Magnus home?"

"No." She said. "He went out to get… sandalwood body wash… or something." The girl said, sounding as if she had no idea why someone would want something of the sort but didn't care enough to give it much thought past that. Alec felt himself blush. He'd definitely taken that when he'd moved his stuff out.

"Can I help you?" She asked. Alec noticed Chairman Meow weaving between the girls legs as the cat eyed Alec. If the Chairman liked her… Alec shook his head. This was what had gotten him in trouble to start with.

"No." Alec said, looking away awkwardly. The girl was still looking at him with an increasingly uncomfortable amount of interest.

"He should be back shortly if you want to come in and wait…"

Alec wasn't sure how he felt about spending much time with the girl but knew he'd only end up going off brooding and regretting not talking to the warlock.

"Sure, yeah." Alec said as he slid his hands into his jean pockets. She nodded, opening up the door so he could get inside.

There was something odd about the girl though he couldn't place what exactly. Her gaze was becoming quite unsettling though. Sitting down, Alec glanced at the center of the coffee table, trying to think of something to say, some way to ask the question that was burning the back of his mind.

"I'm Tessa." She said finally, sliding her hand out. Alec glanced at her for a long moment before shaking it.

"Alec." He murmured putting his hand out for her to shake. Her grip was firm, firmer than he'd expected.

"Ah." She said, smiling at him. "I thought you looked familiar. I'd recognize those eyes anywhere." Her voice became distant. Alec slowly felt realization dawn on him.

"You're an immortal." He said. Tessa nodded as Chairman Meow jumped into her lap. Alec suddenly felt wary of the girl.

"You were the Shadowhunter who was seeing Magnus?" She asked. Alec looked away.

"Yeah."

"Oh. I see. I'm sorry to hear things haven't been going very well for the two of you." Her tone was motherly.

Alec shrugged, looking away as if trying to make it seem like he wasn't bothered by it but finding his head snap back up as he heard Tessa laugh.

"I'd forgotten how prideful you all are, though I suppose that was foolish of me considering how often I still encounter Shadowhunters." She said the last part to herself.

"How old are you?" Alec asked.

"Most women are offended by such an upfront question. Though I have heard you are quite… straightforward." Tessa glanced at him for a long moment as if considering what she was going to say. "Alexander Gideon Lightwood. That's your name, is it not?" She asked. When Alec nodded her eyes brightened.

"I knew Gideon Lightwood when I was a girl."

Alec felt his eyes narrow. He honestly didn't know much about his middle name, only that it had been passed down and that his mom only used it when she was especially angry.

He waited for her to explain or answer his question. When she did neither Alec took to looking around the room. It was different since he'd moved out. There was a lot more take out containers he knew the warlock had not paid for. Magnus had also changed the curtains to a darker blue leaving the apartment a little more sombre. It didn't suit Magnus at all.

Finally his eyes rested back on Tessa and then he noticed a book was sitting on the couch beside her. It looked old, delicate. She reached for it absently, stroking the cover with a methodical care. It was placed so he couldn't read the title.

"Do you know who Will was?" Alec asked, his voice hard. Tessa took a moment to regard him, her eyes softening as they became amused.

"Will was a cocky outspoken sort who never thought before throwing his life into whatever dangerous situation he could find."

"Must be related to Jace." Alec said under his breath. Tessa gave a quiet laugh as she glanced at her hands and Alec wondered if the girl had heard him.

"He was also thoughtful, protective and passionate. A handsome boy with your blue eyes. He had quite an annoying habit of quoting books whenever he felt the moment called for it. He was quick as a whip and protected his family with every ounce of strength he had." Alec felt his breath catch at that. He looked up at her and saw she was no longer speaking to him but seemed very far away.

"Will was also my husband." Tessa noted as if the words were an after-thought. Alec looked up. "Jace's great great great grandfather I believe it is."

So she had heard him.

Light was cast on Tessa, creating shadows across her face so she looked more sinister or perhaps just older. He couldn't decide if she was beautiful. Not that he was a good judge of women's beauty to start with but he at least supposed she was pretty. She was not comparable to Izzy he decided or even Clary. Tessa had a seriousness to her features, a subtle concentration to her eyes and a stubborn set to her mouth he couldn't describe. One that he had not seen on any other person he'd met.

She dressed plainly enough that he wouldn't pick her out on the street the same way most people picked out his sister. He did however notice a jade pendant that hung around her neck and the pearl bracelet she wore over the sleeve of her sweater.

"Your husband?" Alec tried to hide the relief he suddenly felt flooded with. Tessa only nodded, suddenly looking out the window. Alec noticed immortals did that. They had this way of glancing out as if the present bored them and they were constantly looking for other, more entertaining things. He had begun to notice it with Camille.

"You're old then." Alec concluded. At this Tessa laughed, her eyes becoming bright as she nodded.

"You mean to say that Magnus never talks of me?" Her voice was teasing but Alec suddenly felt guilt weigh down his stomach.

Alec shook his head, feeling his cheeks warm slightly. "I haven't exactly been willing to talk much about his past."

"Ah," Tessa noted, her smile becoming gentle as if she understood. "Magnus has lived a very long time and I have known him most of my life. He's been someone I, as well as much of my family has trusted."

"Please tell me you haven't slept with him too." Alec blurted out. He knew it was an impertinent implication to make, especially a girl and especially someone from such a vastly different era. Still the words slipped past his mouth before he could stop himself.

There was a beat, a single moment of silence before Tessa broke into laughter. "Heaven no!" She finally said. "What on earth would give you that impression?"

"You said it too, Magnus has lived a long time."

"He has. Living forever is the loneliest a person can ever feel Mr. Lightwood. For many of us we look for constant distractions and people to make us forget."

"You speak as if you do not count yourself in that group."

"I don't." She smiled. "I was allowed to love more in a single lifetime than many others ever even dreamed of. I do not take that for granted. I loved my husband the way the strongest species I have encountered loves."

Alec's mind raced in confusion. "Who?"

"Humans Mr. Lightwood. I loved him with the love of a human which, I'm certain by the way you looked when I opened that door you understand very well how powerful that is indeed. While many others, especially those who have such long lives forget what it is like to love it is humans that stand as a reminder that in the end it is always worth it."

"Your husband, Will," Alec tested the words with uncertainty. "He was mortal?"

"He was." Tessa said with a knowing glance.

"And you stayed with him until he was old, even though you knew he was going to die?"

"I did." Tessa said.

"It was never an issue between the two of you?"

"Of course in the later years it was awkward and strange to outsiders but Will and I both knew the outside changed nothing about the time we spent together, the children we raised and the lives we led. The outside was simply something to look at, that outside eyes regarded but anyone who knew us knew that beyond it we were still Tessa and Will. Every time I looked at him I still saw the brash, blue eyed boy I fell in love with."

Alec blushed causing Tessa to smile.

"Magnus told me you sought out Camille before she was killed." Tessa acknowledged.

Alec nodded, refusing to look the girl in the eyes.

"Being the one who dies is difficult Mr. Lightwood but being left behind…" Tessa was cut off by the sound of the door opening.

"Tessa my dear I hate to ask you but…" Magnus called entering the room with a handful of groceries. Familiar golden eyes narrowed as they regarded Alec sitting across from Tessa.

"Alexander. What are you doing here?"

"I came to talk to you." Alec said, feeling himself getting flustered.

Magnus stayed frozen for a long moment.

"I was pretty sure I said I didn't want to see you or any of your friends anymore. I've had enough Shadowhunter politics for a long time." Alec could see Tessa's head snap up and her mouth twitch, as if she was remembering something. Still, she sat silent.

Alec felt suddenly like he'd lost Tessa except he wasn't sure exactly what he'd lost from her. Loyalty maybe but that didn't seem right. At the very least her sympathy.

"Magnus I never meant for any of this to…" Alec started

"Tessa, could you give us a moment."

The girl nodded and as Alec looked back at her he saw concern in her eyes when she picked up her book and went down the hall to a back room.

"I see you met Tessa." Magnus started, setting the armful of groceries on the coffee table.

"I just came to talk to you…"

"What did the two of you talk about while I was gone Alec?"

"We didn't talk about…"

"You asked her about Will, didn't you?"

"Of course I did!" Alec burst before he could help himself. It was a constant need to lay all his insecurities out before the warlock and he was getting tired.

"Because you still don't trust me. I suppose you thought I was sleeping with Tessa as well."

Alec stopped for a moment before he shook himself.

"No," Alec argued. "Magnus do you know how hard it is for me to sit here and have all these blasts from your past come up and me not ever have heard about a single one of them?"

"Alec, my past is not your business, regardless of what our relationship status happens to be."

"But I'm still jealous." Alec's voice was gaining volume.

Magnus let out a sigh. He always found it difficult to distance himself from the Nephilim and this one in particular whose eyes were always full of innocent intentions and that set off pale skin and black hair so well were the ones he had the hardest time saying no to. Still he wasn't ready yet.

"Alec, please." Magnus kept his voice firm. "I need space."

Alec looked taken aback. "Oh." The Shadowhunter's shoulders slumped just a bit, something Magnus wouldn't have even noticed had he not known Alec so well, as he headed for the door. "Sorry to bother you like this I guess."

Magnus felt his heart skip a beat but kept his face neutral as he closed and locked the door behind Alec.

Inevitably Tessa appear in the hallway from her make shift room, the book pressed to her chest as she glanced at her old friend.

"So, that's the one you've been acting so strangely because of."

"I have not." The warlock shot back. The immortal girl in front of him only smiled.

"You said the first one was the hardest but I'm starting to wonder exactly how correct you really were."

"He's not dead Tessa, just naïve."

"I haven't seen you this upset over a breakup before."

"You haven't been around long enough to see." Letting the anger slide away the warlock added, "He's different though."

"And yet you're still pushing him away."

"Because he needs to learn." Magnus murmured. Tessa sighed, shaking her head as she opened her book up and settled back into reading.

"They never learn." Tessa said.