JKL: so i've been planning to make different fairytales, Naruto style! This is the first one, a remake of Alice's Adventures In Wonderland, featuring Sasuke and Ino! All of the fairytales will be connected in some way, so they will all go in a certain type of order. I hope you enjoy!

Peppa: Neither of us owns Naruto or Alice In Wonderland. They're by Masaashi Kishimoto and Lewis Carroll, respectively. Don't own the artwork either. It's by some lovely artist on deviantart named 3ternal-Star!

The usually blue sky was painted with hues of red, orange, and yellow as the bright sun was starting to set. Nothing could ease the wave of heat that lingered in the sky, causing nobleman Uchiha Sasuke's bangs to stick to his forehead. His back arched against the tree he was leaning on as he sat up straight, his face still directed to the setting sun. His eyes narrowed, but the fire that shot from his glare was nothing compared to the rays that continued to beam at him. With a sigh, he turned away from the sky and focused his attention the girl who was picking flowers a few yards away from him. He noticed her mouth moving, but he couldn't hear her whispers.

"Ino," he called out to her. She didn't answer him at first. Instead she continued to busy herself with pulling daisies, daffodils, and dandelions from the ground and separating them into neat piles. "Ino," he said again, and again she didn't answer. She frowned and her voice rose slightly higher. Sasuke furrowed his eyebrows in confusion when his suspicions were confirmed. His blonde companion was, in fact, talking to herself. "Ino!" This time, her head shot up and she turned to look at him. Her expression was one of amusement, as if she was pleasured by his obvious irritation. Sasuke sighed and glared at the blonde.

Why was he, of all the people in the kingdom, the one that had to watch over the idiotic niece of the Queen? She was annoying, loud, obnoxious, inconsiderate, temperamental, overbearing, troublesome, vain, catty, overly curious, inattentive, slow, easily distracted, and just about every other negative adjective that Sasuke could think of. Sure, she had her looks, but Sasuke was pretty sure that was all she had. And really, what is one positive attribute when the rest of them are terrible?

Before he knew it, she was back to picking flowers and arguing with herself. Sasuke rolled his eyes and picked up a small grey pebble. With a slight flick, it hit her in the back of her blonde head. Sasuke smirked as she turned to him again. His smirk faded away when he saw the huge smile that was plastered on her face. God. This girl was annoying.

"Yes, Sahsukeh?" Her toothy grin widened as she stretched out the syllables in his name. The way she purred his name in that annoying, cat-like way made him want to shiver. Sasuke took a deep breath and glared at her. Ino tilted her head to the side, her bangs falling away from her face and allowing him to look into both of her cyan-colored eyes.

"Why. Are. We. Here?" Sasuke did not try to take the venom out of his voice. He wanted her to know that he was extremely annoyed. She should have known that already, though. He was almost always annoyed in her presence.

"Here, as in on Earth? That's simple, because we were born, Sasu-kun." He disregarded her annoying emphasis of certain syllables in his name as she continued rambling nonsense. "We have to live here, and that is what we do each day." She flashed him another smile before turning back to her piles of flowers. If looks could kill, Ino would be dead, brought back to life, and dead again.

"Ino, I'm not playing around," Sasuke hissed. As if he needed to clarify that. He was never playing around, with anyone. For some reason, though, the blonde sitting a few yards away from him never seemed to realize that. "Why are we sitting next to this damned river in the middle of a freaking forest?" He folded his arms across his chest, perhaps for added affect.

"Well, to pick flowers! What does it look like?" She cocked her head back and her shrill, annoying laughter buzzed in his ears. It literally took everything in his power to not strangle her on the spot and then throw her dead body into the sparkling river nearby.

Speaking of the river, Sasuke refocused his attention on the nature that he was previously admiring. The hues of the sky reflected off of the ocean, creating a beautiful horizon. Sasuke leaned his head against the tree and let out a sigh. This moment could have almost been relaxing…almost. He glanced to his side when something strange got into his perpetual vision. A white rabbit. A white rabbit that was wearing clothes and holding a pocket watch. "Oh dear, oh dear! I shall be so late!" A white rabbit that was wearing clothes and holding a pocket watch and talking.

Sasuke rubbed his eyes and blinked. So yes, his eyes were not deceiving him; that rabbit was definitely there—scurrying along in its suit and top-hat. Sasuke opened his mouth and closed it again. He took a deep breath and pinched himself. Okay, so it wasn't a dream either.

Sasuke decided right then and there that he was crazy. That's right, he was completely bonkers. It was all Ino's fault. Her constant arguing with herself and her senseless babbling turned him into a hallucinating psychopath! Now he would have to run away from the kingdom, or else he'd be burnt at the stake and accused of witchcraft. He turned to glare at the blonde, only to see that she was not in her previous spot. That meant one of two things. He was either not crazy after all, or they were both crazy. Unfortunately for Sasuke, he knew it was most likely the latter.

He looked back at the rabbit, and Ino was chasing after it. Sasuke slapped his face with his palm and stood up. "Ino, stop it!" He ran after her. The white rabbit went down a rabbit hole and Sasuke thought his troubles were over. They weren't. Ino followed the rabbit into the hole, and Sasuke followed Ino. Clearly, all of his common sense had left the building. He latched onto Ino's waist and she screamed as they fell a long way down the hole. For a minute there, Sasuke thought that they'd never stop falling. Ino grabbed onto his royal robes and continued to scream like her life depended on it (which, in a sense, it did).

Finally, the two landed with a large crash onto a black-and-white checkered floor. Ino exhaled and looked down the long hall of various sized doors. She scratched her head, loosening her high ponytail only slightly, and looked at her companion.

"Sasuke, where are we?" Ino asked. Sasuke frowned slightly, not noticing that she didn't purr his name this time. He shrugged and glanced at the blonde. Her lips were twisted into a small frown and her eyes were widened slightly. Her perfect eyebrows were knitted together. Sasuke sighed and stood up. He knew what this expression was—complete and utter despair. He held out his hand and gestured for her to take it. They began walking down the hall, looking at doors as they passed. Sasuke halted to a stop when something shined on the floor. He bent down and picked it up-a key.

"Hm…" he thought for a moment as he looked at all the different sized doors. At the end of the hallway was a small door, the only one that the key could possibly fit into. He exchanged glances with Ino and they walked to the door. Near the door was a wooden table, which Sasuke decided to ignore. He put the key into the door, but did not open it.

"We can't fit in there; it's too small…but, look!" She pointed into the key hole. Sasuke bent down and looked into the hole. He saw a beautiful garden and a field of pink flowers. He sighed and sat up again. Ino was looking at him expectantly. "Can we go in, please?"

"How can we go in if the door is too small for us to fit in?" He countered and crossed his arms over his chest. Ino let out a defeated sigh and sat down in a seat next to the table that Sasuke previously ignored. She glanced at a glass that was labeled 'DRINK ME'. She smiled and grabbed the cup.

"You're actually going to drink that?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow in disgust. Ino nodded and put the glass to her cherry, red lips. Sasuke sighed and snatched it away from her. "I should probably test it…for poison." He put the glass to his lips and actually wished that it would be poison, so that he could finally be rid of her for good. He drank some of the glass before handing it back to her.

In seconds, he felt a sharp pain in his stomach as he began to shrink. Before he could warn Ino about this, she drank the drink. Soon enough, they were face-to-face again. Sasuke glanced at his side and noticed that he was way smaller than the chair that was by his side. He looked at Ino—or more specifically, glared at her. "Now what are we going to do, huh?" He snapped. Ino only shrugged in response. Sasuke sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Why couldn't the drink have been poison?

Sasuke was so busy wishing death on either himself or her that he did not notice the niece of the Queen trying to climb onto the chair. "What are you doing!" He shouted as he tried to pull her down. Ino pointed at a slice of cake that was on top of the table. "You're seriously concerned about a damn pastry at a time like this!"

"It said 'EAT ME' on it!" When she noticed the face that Sasuke was giving her, she sighed. "Maybe it will turn us big again. Now help me up, Sasuke-kun!" Sasuke sighed and helped push her onto the seat of the chair. She held out a hand and pulled him up. The two jumped onto the table and exchanged glances before taking a bite of the cake. Surely enough, they grew. In fact, they grew so big that both of their heads hit the ceiling.

"Owie!" Ino cried, rubbing the top of her head. Sasuke simply groaned and placed his face in his hands. Clearly, this was going to be a long day. Or week. Or month. Or however long it takes to get the hell out of this crazy house.

JKL: Hope you enjoyed chapter one!

Ino: Review or else I'll start NOT torturing Sasu-kun!