Hey hey guys! I hope you're all doing well :)

So, here we go. My first full length project since returning to the site. Here's hoping that you'll all enjoy it. Brace yourselves, it's gonna be an emotional journey.

I was listening to Secret Love Song by Little Mix when I got the inspiration for this one. And the more I thought about it, the more I knew I had to get this story written and out for you all to read. Again, I hope you guys like it.

As specified in the story's description, this will be slightly AU. Prison never happened, Alex was never in the cartel. As for the rest of their lives, well, you're just gonna have to read and find out :p I am trying to keep them as in character as possible, but there may be moments where they are kinda OOC. I apologise for that. Please don't hate me.

And enjoy! Here's chapter one.

If it weren't for the rain, the tears streaming down Alex's face would have been visible to anyone who passed her by. The stinging sensation the howling wind created on her skin was nothing compared to the aching she felt in her chest.

She gazed across the street into the window of the cafe on the corner, and watched as the love of her life accepted a kiss on the side of her face, from someone that wasn't her. She couldn't breathe. It felt as if her world were crumbling at her feet. Alex knew that she shouldn't feel this way about the scenario; she knew that Piper was just playing the part, but she couldn't help it. Seeing her with Larry made Alex feel sick to the stomach. She knew it wasn't what Piper wanted, but being the obedient daughter that she was, she played by her parent's rules; acted as though she wasn't madly in love with her best friend. She and Alex had to keep their love hidden from the world, stealing kisses behind closed doors, seeing one another when no one else was home, when their passion could run free. Piper could usually get away with going to visit Alex because most people assumed it was just her needing "girl time" to get away from Larry for a while. Alex rarely ventured over to Piper's house; it was too hard for her knowing that Larry had slept in the same bed that Piper wanted to pull her into, that he lived within the same four walls as the younger woman. She couldn't deal with the fact that Piper and Larry's "love" could be displayed to the whole world, while theirs had to remain a secret, for their own safety. It wasn't right. It wasn't fair. And Alex couldn't deal with it.

She watched as the author brushed a strand of hair from the blonde's face, and her fists clenched at her sides. Her whole body shook from the rage and hurt she felt from seeing such a simple yet powerful gesture. The fact that he could touch Piper in public, that he could touch her at all, was like a knife to Alex's heart. Piper wasn't his, he had no right to place his hands upon her. But then, as far as Larry and everyone else was concerned, Piper was his. He could hold Piper, he could kiss Piper; he could do all the things Alex couldn't, unless it was in the privacy of her own home where no one would interrupt them. Larry had freedom. Alex didn't. And it hurt. It hurt a lot.

She turned away from the cafe, no longer wanting the coffee that she'd come to order, and walked back to her apartment, seeking the comfort of her shower, and something stronger than caffeine to drink.

Piper made her way up the stairs to Alex's apartment, trying to hide her tears. Being with Larry always made her feel awful; all she wanted was to be in Alex's arms. She hated that she had to live a lie, pretending to be in love with the man her parents set her up with. She hated that he lived in her house, slept in her bed, put his arms around her, kissed her. Larry Bloom disgusted her. Yet she still played the role, to keep her parents satisfied. Because heaven help her if Bill and Carol Chapman found out their only daughter was actually a lesbian, and was in love with her childhood friend. Alex; her dear, sweet Alex, who had to endure hell every day as a result of this charade, but still never gave up on Piper. She could see the pain it caused the older woman on a daily basis, but she remained unmoved in her devotion to her. They would often lay in bed and make plans for the future, dreaming of the day that they would finally be free from her parents' hold. All Piper had to do was stand up to them and tell them how she really felt; tell them that she and Alex were in love and that nothing they do could ever change that. But she was afraid. Her parents were ruthless; they were kind enough to you, if you adhered to their conditions. But go against their rules and wishes, things could turn ugly. Piper recalled the time when her older brother Danny had snuck out to go to a party one night with his friends, back when he was in high school, after being told by their parents that he had to stay in and study for exams. When they found out, her father installed bars across Danny's bedroom window, and padlocked his door shut every night, so that he couldn't find alternate ways out. Another time, Piper had received three lashes across the backside with her father's belt, for watching the latest episode of her favourite tv show before washing the dishes; a big no in her family's rulebook. Her mother never inflicted any kind of physical pain to her or her brothers. Instead, she would get inside their heads. On an almost daily basis, Carol would degrade Piper, Danny and Cal, playing on their fears, telling them who and what they needed to be to get her approval. Danny left home as soon as he was old enough to, and never spoke to them again. Cal went with him when he was of age. Piper was the only one of the Chapman siblings who stuck around. She was afraid of her parents. She was absolutely terrified of them. She didn't want them to see her as a disappointment or a failure. She wanted to impress them, keep them happy. She didn't want to cause any problems. She knew what they were capable of. She didn't want anyone getting hurt. She didn't want to lose anyone she cared about. Especially Alex. So she spent her life in (mostly) misery, agreeing to go on dates with guys that her mother and father deemed to be suitable matches for her. They never made it past the first dates, ever. They were all rude and obnoxious. And also guys. And not Alex.

After every date, Piper would find herself at Alex's, where they would laugh about the night's events; Piper emphasizing how awful she found the men to be, while Alex rubbed her shoulders and told her exactly what she thought about the "potential boyfriends" and reiterated how much she despised Piper's parents. Then they would spend the remainder of the night cuddled up on the sofa together watching movies until they fell asleep in each other's arms.

Piper's parents worried for her, for years, afraid that Piper was never going to settle down with a man. Until Larry came along. Piper had no attraction to him, obviously, but out of all of the men that her parents had set her up with, he was the only one who showed her respect and kindness. He was a published author, growing in popularity, which Piper found to be an advantage. Larry had a number of book tours scheduled over the coming months, which meant he would be away for days, sometimes weeks, which left Piper free to spend quality time with Alex without interruption. She and Larry had been "dating" for six months now, living together for two. Piper had taken it upon herself to ask him to move in with her, weaving an elaborate tale about how she had fallen in love with him so fast that she couldn't wait to have him living under the same roof as her, and to be able to come home every day knowing he would be there waiting. Her parents, and Larry, believed her, which was the most important thing. Alex knew that the whole thing was a charade, but she continued to play the role of the ecstatic best friend, who was so happy for Piper finally finding the man of her dreams.

Piper let out a sigh as she reached the top of the stairs and walked towards Alex's door. Alex. She knew how hard the woman was struggling with all of this. She herself was struggling with it too. It was so exhausting having to pretend to be someone she wasn't, just to satisfy her parents' wants. Every time she went to visit Alex, it broke her heart, because she could see the pain in the woman's eyes, could see how much she hated having to hide their love from the world. All Piper wanted was for them to be free, but her fear got in the way every time the opportunity to stand up to her parents arose.

"FUCK!" she screamed, slamming her fists against the wall. She sank to her knees, unable to fight the tears any longer. She hated this. She hated it so much.

'Why can't I stand up to them?' she asked herself, as her body shook uncontrollably. 'Why can't we be free?'

'Why can't I tell them I don't love Larry?'

Why can't I tell them I'm in love with Alex?'

She ran a hand over her eyes, trying to wipe away her tears, and stood up. She had to be strong for Alex. She couldn't let her see her upset. She had to be strong, so that she could be there for Alex in her weak moments. Alex needed her; she was the one who was suffering the most. Piper didn't have the luxury of feeling sorry for herself, not when her girlfriend was in pain. Alex had stuck by her through all of this bullshit; the least Piper could do was be the rock that she needed when things became too overwhelming for her.

'Stay strong for Alex,' Piper reminded herself, as she put the spare key Alex had given her in the lock and opened the door.

As she walked inside, she felt an instant wave of calm settle over her. She was home, her real home. She ran her hand over the back of the sofa, smiling to herself as she remembered all of the movie nights and makeout sessions she and Alex had shared on it. She walked over to the kitchen table and saw the newspaper opened to the crossword section, half completed. She knew Alex had left it there waiting for Piper to come over and help her finish it. She went into the bedroom, expecting to find Alex there reading, and her heart froze for a moment when she found it empty, until her ears picked up the sound of running water. Another smile crept across her face.

She undressed quickly, dropping her clothes in a neat pile beside the bed, and made her way towards the bathroom, hoping to surprise her lover.

Alex sat on the floor of the shower, trying to control her breathing. She'd been in there for almost an hour, crying over the cafe incident, and beating herself up over the fact that she was upset about it. She shouldn't be upset about it, she needed to keep it together for Piper's sake. Piper had it the hardest; having to put on a fake smile every day and pretend to be in love with someone she felt nothing towards. All Alex had to do was stay quiet and act happy for her, and then be there for Piper when she came to her at the end of those long days needing comfort from the one she truly loved. All Alex had to do was be the supportive one. Piper was the one having to live a lie every day to shut her family up. Alex couldn't afford to be upset. Piper needed her, and she had to stay strong for her.

Alex stood up and wiped her eyes, though it had little effect, and took a deep breath.

'For Piper,' she told herself, exhaling slowly.

She suddenly felt warm arms wrap themselves around her torso, and her stomach filled with butterflies. She didn't need to look behind her to know who it was. Besides, there was only one person other than herself who had a key to her apartment. She also held the one to her heart.

"Piper.." she breathed, feeling all of the tension release from her body. Soft lips pressed themselves to the space between her shoulder blades, and Piper's arms tightened around her. Her answer came out in a soft whisper.

"I missed you."

Ok. So there's chapter one. Please leave reviews and let me know what you guys think.

I kinda feel like this chapter may be a little boring (?) to some of you. Maybe I'm just overthinking. But I wanted to try and cover as much of Alex and Piper's background (the important parts anyway) as possible, which basically explains everything leading up to the present moment, so that it wouldn't need to be explained later, and we could all focus on the good stuff, haha.

Anyway. Thank you all for reading. Chapter two will be up as soon as possible.

Love you all :)