Author: Yzoh Esereth
Author email: yzoh_esereth@yahoo.co.uk
Category: action, suspense, romance, angst.
Keywords: Harry, Hermione, Ron, Sirius, ect.
Spoilers: For all four books
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Harry recalls the worst day of his life.
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Other citations will be made where necessary.
Reminiscing
* * * * *
It had been quite long since the last I saw Hermione, I could not believe it had been two years since then. Her loss has been a hard thing to deal with, and I never got over it. She was the only one I had loved so much, and will always be. I would weep, but my tears have been stolen; I would cry, but my voice taken. Thus I write.
It had never been the same since she had gone. She isn't there any more to tell me and Ron off if we weren't doing our work properly, or when we need her knowledge or advice, she's not there to give it to us. It is still hard to believe she's gone, I still wonder sometimes if this was just a very cruel dream, and I just wish to wake up and see her smiling face once more. But it's not a dream, and I will never again see her beautiful face, and her enchanting brown eyes. I would never again taste her sweet lips, or hear her voice. Life has become an empty void without her.
The memories of that day are still fresh in my mind. I still wake up in the middle of the night in cold sweat, from those memories. It is terrible how one brief action cane live forever in memory. They tell me Voldemort had lost, but he had wounded me deeply nonetheless, and those wounds would never heal. I had lost the only one I had truly loved, and nothing could bring her back. The past is a ghost that haunts me, from the moment it exists until the moment I don't.
Harry paused, his quill; he still did not know why he was writing. He had just gotten the urge to pour what had been building back inside of him. It was very hard, on him especially, to get over Hermione's death. As he sat there, memories of what happen flooded his mind:
Harry opened his eyes, his head still hurt a bit, from the struggle with the Death Eaters. He was in a dark room, with three Death Eaters standing guard. The room was lined with a lot of horrible, weird weapons, and sharp pointy objects. Harry looked beside him and saw Hermione, she was still unconscious, and was chained to a chair as he was. He did not remember what had happen before he fell unconscious.
Beside him he felt Hermione stirring, Harry glanced over at her and saw her eyes open, and a confused look on her face. She looked over at Harry, saw him bound, and asked in a voice so only Harry could hear.
"Where are we?" She asked quietly.
"I dunno, but guessing from those gits standing guard, I'd say were in Voldemort's hiding place."
Harry answered just as quiet.
Hermione was looking around the room, looking for a means to escape. The door opened and The Dark Lord Voldemort came in the room. As he did, the Death Eaters standing guard left the two teens with him.
"I see you have finally awoken." Voldemort said menacingly "And I welcome you to my humble abode." He continued a smirk playing on his lips. Harry and Hermione stayed silent. Voldemort flicked his wand and the chains that bound Harry and Hermione were gone. At this Harry immediate went over to Hermione, and checked if she was okay. The Dark Lord watched the two, his smirk growing.
"I brought you here to propose you my deal once more, Potter. Join me, and I spare your and the mudblood's life. Defy me, and face the consequences."
"I will never join you!" Harry answered coldly. "I would rather die than join sink to you level!"
"Are you sure Potter? You are wasting a perfectly good offer you know. If you join me, you will be powerful. Together we shall rule the world, destroying the weak: the squibs, the Muggles and mudbloods, and all the filth that festers in this world."
"The only filth I see is you and your kind! You think you are so strong, but only cowards go down the road you have taken. You think you are all powerful, but your not! You will be defeated, once and for all." Harry replied bravely, his tone was cold and clam, but his words were angry and spiteful.
"Strong words from you boy, now, put them into action." Voldemort raised hi wand and a bright white light came out of his wand. Harry pulled Hermione and himself out of the way, but the curse hit his shoulder burning him.
"Argh!"
"Harry! Are you ok?" Hermione asked very concerned.
"Yeah," Harry said flinching. "Its, just ok."
Voldemort took advantage of this, and fired a curse which was heading towards Harry who had his back turned. Hermione took action, and pushed him aside and was hit instead. The force of the curse knocked her onto the wall line which was lined with weapons. One of the weapons on the wall had injured her, how bad? She had no clue. The force of the blow had knocked her out.
"HERMIONE, NO!" Harry exclaimed as she got hit. He saw her fall limply to the ground and blood was flowing from her body, and was gathering into a puddle on the floor. Harry rushed over to her, and was slightly relived that she was still alive, but was still out cold. He did not know how longer Hermione would last, because she was loosing blood quickly from a deep wound on her back. But he still kept faith, praying that she would make it.
"Stupid little mudblood. Nevertheless, she deserved what she got for interfering: a slow painful death." Voldemort said coldly, and laughing callously.
These words drove Harry over the edge, and every ounce of self control was lost. Reckless rage coursed through him like poison, and he was beyond reason. Something like a great power inside of him was awoken. A bright, white aura was emitting out of Harry.
The surge of power through Harry grew every second, powered by the rage he felt. The stone floor beneath Harry's feet was beginning to crack and brake, and anything that came in contact with the aura, which had grown into a spherical shape, was disintegrated. Harry was now floating in the core of the sphere his hair and clothing were being lifted, as if by a strong gale of wind, a deadly expression on his face. Voldemort was shocked at what was happening, he did not count on power like this to be possessed by the boy.
"I have had it with you," Harry said with a very still, calm yet deadly tone. "You have been hounding us for long enough, every act of destruction has a repercussion, and now is the time to pay!"
"You are all words, even if I am to be defeated by you; it will never be enough to bring back the ones you love. Your parents and the mudblood aren't coming back." Voldemort paused and sneered, he thought if he was going to be brought down by the boy, why not wound his heart first. "Infact, they'd still be alive if it wasn't for you. Face it Potter, you're the reason why they died. Like that foolish boy Diggory and this filthy mudblood-"
"ENOUGH!" Harry yelled he had had enough of this; he raised his right hand and performed the spell to finish Voldemort off. He did not know where he got the spell; it was, as if buried in the depth of his memory, just waiting to be unleashed. "Vita Mortis Io!" A surge of white light came out of Harry's palm, and hit Voldemort. The Dark Lord let out a scream as body, mind and soul was wiped off existence.
The Aura around Harry faded and he rushed to where Hermione lay. He laid her down onto his knee, and her eyes fluttered open. He conjured up bandages, and started bandaging her wound. It wasn't much use, the wound wont stop bleeding. Harry tried some spells, but they won't work, the curse must have prevented this.
"Harry? Is that you?" she asked in a faint whisper. Harry held her as close as he could, afraid that he would loose her if he let go.
"Shhh, don't talk. Save your strength." He answered keeping his emotions in check.
She reached up and cupped his cheek and their gazes locked, "It's no use Harry, you know it. This is my end, and nothing can stop it." She whispered.
"Don't talk like that! You will make it, your talking crazy." Harry tried to smile but couldn't "The blood loss is making you delusional." He continued, trying to convince Hermione and himself, a tear sliding down his cheek.
"I'm not," she replied seriously. He bent down and kissed her lightly.
"Your not going to die, I won't let you." Harry said stubbornly, more tears coming down his cheek, she smiled up at him whipping away his tears.
"Not even your stubbornness will stop this Harry, some things just happen, its best for you to move on,"
"But I can't move on, I love you too much to let you go. Nobody will ever come close to you. Who'll be there to stop me and Ron from getting into trouble? Who's going to help me if I have a big problem that only you could solve?" Harry said desperately.
"You'll manage."
"No I can't manage with out you to guide me, I'll be lost without you." Harry paused for a moment, "Please Hermione, I love you, and if you left me- "
"Why would I leave you, I love you more than anything in this world. And if I did, I can't imagine all the stupid things you and Ron would get into." Harry laughed despite the tears in his eyes,
"Now, don't talk, you're wasting your energy, you lost a lot of blood. Help will be coming any moment now." Harry assured her. She nodded, and closed her eyes. They stayed like that for a short while. She opened her eyes once more and spoke:
"I love you, Harry. You are the one person who means so much to me. I love you more than life its self and you had made me happy beyond anything." She cupped his cheek tenderly in her palm, and he placed his hand over hers.
"I know, and I love you too," Harry said staring into her eyes. He watched as her eyes fluttered close, and the remaining strength left here body, and the harsh reality sunk into Harry like a very heavy ballast.
"Hermione, Hermione! Wake up! Please, stop joking Hermione! This is not funny! 'Come on Hermione, stop it." But of course, she was not joking, Harry tried desperately to wake her up, the tears silently streaming down his face once more. But he knew nothing can be done now, he just kept on denying the harsh reality.
"No! Hermione, no! Hermione, come back! Please! You promised you won't leave me! Please." Harry whispered desperately, but to no avail. She has died, and nothing, not even magic could bring her back. Harry just sat there trying hard not to cry, but his efforts were futile. Hermione was gone, and would never return. He was vaguely aware that Sirius and some others had arrived. Everything was a blur. So were the last few days after that.
* * * * * *
Harry came out of his reverie, a solitary tear falling down his cheek. He did not dwell on the thoughts of that day. It was the worst of his life, he felt so depressed that he just wanted his life to end. But Ron told Harry that she gave up her life for his, and it was a poor way of repaying her. Ron was right, and tried as Hermione had told her to do, to move on, but it was very hard without her. Harry was successful in his career in the Department of Mysteries at the Ministry with Ron, where they lived a life of secrecy. But Harry never bothered looking for that special someone, because his heart is and always will be Hermione's.
He looked down onto the parchment he had been writing on. To the picture of Hermione on his desk, which waved happily up to him, this made him smile, and to the desk calendar and saw the date: September 19th, Hermione's birthday.
He got up, took his cloak off the rack and put it on, and Disapparated. He arrived at his destination; it was a memorial park, near Hermione's home town. Harry walked down the path leading to Hermione's final resting place. Harry wasn't surprised to see, a familiar red head already there.
"Ron, I was half expecting to see you here." Harry said pleasantly.
"Oh, Harry hello there." Ron replied in the same manner. They were silent for a while, but Ron broke the silence.
"It's hard to believe that it's almost been tow years, isn't it?" He said sadly.
"I know, and I miss her bad. It's still very hard to believe she's gone." Harry replied in the same melancholic tone.
"It seems like only yesterday when she walked in our train compartment in the first year. Well Hermione, Happy Birthday once again, hope your doing well wherever you are." Ron said trying to sound casual, "Shall I wait for you?" Ron asked Harry.
"Sure, just give me a moment." And agreed and stood by the yew tree near by. Harry kneeled down and placed the bouquet of tulips, which she loved so much, onto the loot of the black marble headstone, beside the bouquet that Ron had left. "Well 'Mione, Happy Birthday. We all miss you so much, and whish you were here with us. Sorry I didn't visit any sooner, but me and Ron are out of the country most of the time, on assignments and the lot. It's a lot of fun sometimes, it's the best job in the world, but it would have been a lot better if you were here. You'd love working in the Department of Mysteries. It's been tough without you, and I know that you know what we're up to, you always do. I'll always love you, and I know we'll find each other again. May it be in the afterlife, I will find you." At that Harry stood up and made his way toward Ron.
"Lets go?" He asked, and Harry nodded in return.
"Were just so morbid," Ron said trying to cheer Harry up. "Cheer up mate, Hermione wouldn't like to see you like that. She wanted you to be happy."
"Yeah. your right. Right now she'd probably be laughing at how bad I took it, and telling me just to be happy without her." Harry said livening up a bit.
"That's the spirit, besides I know she's always with us, making sure we don't end up doing anything stupid." Ron said with a slight chuckle.
"You know, that's what she said." Harry said a small smile playing on his lips. "She never brakes a promise" Harry said before they both Disapparated to the Leaky Caldron.
END
A/N: So, was that depressing? I just love writing and reading angst. I'm not choked up, but I'm betting you are. Please Review! And tell me what you think. Well I'm off to bed, It now 3:42 am and I'm feeling drowsy. Shnoogles! (",) Yzoh
Author email: yzoh_esereth@yahoo.co.uk
Category: action, suspense, romance, angst.
Keywords: Harry, Hermione, Ron, Sirius, ect.
Spoilers: For all four books
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Harry recalls the worst day of his life.
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Other citations will be made where necessary.
Reminiscing
* * * * *
It had been quite long since the last I saw Hermione, I could not believe it had been two years since then. Her loss has been a hard thing to deal with, and I never got over it. She was the only one I had loved so much, and will always be. I would weep, but my tears have been stolen; I would cry, but my voice taken. Thus I write.
It had never been the same since she had gone. She isn't there any more to tell me and Ron off if we weren't doing our work properly, or when we need her knowledge or advice, she's not there to give it to us. It is still hard to believe she's gone, I still wonder sometimes if this was just a very cruel dream, and I just wish to wake up and see her smiling face once more. But it's not a dream, and I will never again see her beautiful face, and her enchanting brown eyes. I would never again taste her sweet lips, or hear her voice. Life has become an empty void without her.
The memories of that day are still fresh in my mind. I still wake up in the middle of the night in cold sweat, from those memories. It is terrible how one brief action cane live forever in memory. They tell me Voldemort had lost, but he had wounded me deeply nonetheless, and those wounds would never heal. I had lost the only one I had truly loved, and nothing could bring her back. The past is a ghost that haunts me, from the moment it exists until the moment I don't.
Harry paused, his quill; he still did not know why he was writing. He had just gotten the urge to pour what had been building back inside of him. It was very hard, on him especially, to get over Hermione's death. As he sat there, memories of what happen flooded his mind:
Harry opened his eyes, his head still hurt a bit, from the struggle with the Death Eaters. He was in a dark room, with three Death Eaters standing guard. The room was lined with a lot of horrible, weird weapons, and sharp pointy objects. Harry looked beside him and saw Hermione, she was still unconscious, and was chained to a chair as he was. He did not remember what had happen before he fell unconscious.
Beside him he felt Hermione stirring, Harry glanced over at her and saw her eyes open, and a confused look on her face. She looked over at Harry, saw him bound, and asked in a voice so only Harry could hear.
"Where are we?" She asked quietly.
"I dunno, but guessing from those gits standing guard, I'd say were in Voldemort's hiding place."
Harry answered just as quiet.
Hermione was looking around the room, looking for a means to escape. The door opened and The Dark Lord Voldemort came in the room. As he did, the Death Eaters standing guard left the two teens with him.
"I see you have finally awoken." Voldemort said menacingly "And I welcome you to my humble abode." He continued a smirk playing on his lips. Harry and Hermione stayed silent. Voldemort flicked his wand and the chains that bound Harry and Hermione were gone. At this Harry immediate went over to Hermione, and checked if she was okay. The Dark Lord watched the two, his smirk growing.
"I brought you here to propose you my deal once more, Potter. Join me, and I spare your and the mudblood's life. Defy me, and face the consequences."
"I will never join you!" Harry answered coldly. "I would rather die than join sink to you level!"
"Are you sure Potter? You are wasting a perfectly good offer you know. If you join me, you will be powerful. Together we shall rule the world, destroying the weak: the squibs, the Muggles and mudbloods, and all the filth that festers in this world."
"The only filth I see is you and your kind! You think you are so strong, but only cowards go down the road you have taken. You think you are all powerful, but your not! You will be defeated, once and for all." Harry replied bravely, his tone was cold and clam, but his words were angry and spiteful.
"Strong words from you boy, now, put them into action." Voldemort raised hi wand and a bright white light came out of his wand. Harry pulled Hermione and himself out of the way, but the curse hit his shoulder burning him.
"Argh!"
"Harry! Are you ok?" Hermione asked very concerned.
"Yeah," Harry said flinching. "Its, just ok."
Voldemort took advantage of this, and fired a curse which was heading towards Harry who had his back turned. Hermione took action, and pushed him aside and was hit instead. The force of the curse knocked her onto the wall line which was lined with weapons. One of the weapons on the wall had injured her, how bad? She had no clue. The force of the blow had knocked her out.
"HERMIONE, NO!" Harry exclaimed as she got hit. He saw her fall limply to the ground and blood was flowing from her body, and was gathering into a puddle on the floor. Harry rushed over to her, and was slightly relived that she was still alive, but was still out cold. He did not know how longer Hermione would last, because she was loosing blood quickly from a deep wound on her back. But he still kept faith, praying that she would make it.
"Stupid little mudblood. Nevertheless, she deserved what she got for interfering: a slow painful death." Voldemort said coldly, and laughing callously.
These words drove Harry over the edge, and every ounce of self control was lost. Reckless rage coursed through him like poison, and he was beyond reason. Something like a great power inside of him was awoken. A bright, white aura was emitting out of Harry.
The surge of power through Harry grew every second, powered by the rage he felt. The stone floor beneath Harry's feet was beginning to crack and brake, and anything that came in contact with the aura, which had grown into a spherical shape, was disintegrated. Harry was now floating in the core of the sphere his hair and clothing were being lifted, as if by a strong gale of wind, a deadly expression on his face. Voldemort was shocked at what was happening, he did not count on power like this to be possessed by the boy.
"I have had it with you," Harry said with a very still, calm yet deadly tone. "You have been hounding us for long enough, every act of destruction has a repercussion, and now is the time to pay!"
"You are all words, even if I am to be defeated by you; it will never be enough to bring back the ones you love. Your parents and the mudblood aren't coming back." Voldemort paused and sneered, he thought if he was going to be brought down by the boy, why not wound his heart first. "Infact, they'd still be alive if it wasn't for you. Face it Potter, you're the reason why they died. Like that foolish boy Diggory and this filthy mudblood-"
"ENOUGH!" Harry yelled he had had enough of this; he raised his right hand and performed the spell to finish Voldemort off. He did not know where he got the spell; it was, as if buried in the depth of his memory, just waiting to be unleashed. "Vita Mortis Io!" A surge of white light came out of Harry's palm, and hit Voldemort. The Dark Lord let out a scream as body, mind and soul was wiped off existence.
The Aura around Harry faded and he rushed to where Hermione lay. He laid her down onto his knee, and her eyes fluttered open. He conjured up bandages, and started bandaging her wound. It wasn't much use, the wound wont stop bleeding. Harry tried some spells, but they won't work, the curse must have prevented this.
"Harry? Is that you?" she asked in a faint whisper. Harry held her as close as he could, afraid that he would loose her if he let go.
"Shhh, don't talk. Save your strength." He answered keeping his emotions in check.
She reached up and cupped his cheek and their gazes locked, "It's no use Harry, you know it. This is my end, and nothing can stop it." She whispered.
"Don't talk like that! You will make it, your talking crazy." Harry tried to smile but couldn't "The blood loss is making you delusional." He continued, trying to convince Hermione and himself, a tear sliding down his cheek.
"I'm not," she replied seriously. He bent down and kissed her lightly.
"Your not going to die, I won't let you." Harry said stubbornly, more tears coming down his cheek, she smiled up at him whipping away his tears.
"Not even your stubbornness will stop this Harry, some things just happen, its best for you to move on,"
"But I can't move on, I love you too much to let you go. Nobody will ever come close to you. Who'll be there to stop me and Ron from getting into trouble? Who's going to help me if I have a big problem that only you could solve?" Harry said desperately.
"You'll manage."
"No I can't manage with out you to guide me, I'll be lost without you." Harry paused for a moment, "Please Hermione, I love you, and if you left me- "
"Why would I leave you, I love you more than anything in this world. And if I did, I can't imagine all the stupid things you and Ron would get into." Harry laughed despite the tears in his eyes,
"Now, don't talk, you're wasting your energy, you lost a lot of blood. Help will be coming any moment now." Harry assured her. She nodded, and closed her eyes. They stayed like that for a short while. She opened her eyes once more and spoke:
"I love you, Harry. You are the one person who means so much to me. I love you more than life its self and you had made me happy beyond anything." She cupped his cheek tenderly in her palm, and he placed his hand over hers.
"I know, and I love you too," Harry said staring into her eyes. He watched as her eyes fluttered close, and the remaining strength left here body, and the harsh reality sunk into Harry like a very heavy ballast.
"Hermione, Hermione! Wake up! Please, stop joking Hermione! This is not funny! 'Come on Hermione, stop it." But of course, she was not joking, Harry tried desperately to wake her up, the tears silently streaming down his face once more. But he knew nothing can be done now, he just kept on denying the harsh reality.
"No! Hermione, no! Hermione, come back! Please! You promised you won't leave me! Please." Harry whispered desperately, but to no avail. She has died, and nothing, not even magic could bring her back. Harry just sat there trying hard not to cry, but his efforts were futile. Hermione was gone, and would never return. He was vaguely aware that Sirius and some others had arrived. Everything was a blur. So were the last few days after that.
* * * * * *
Harry came out of his reverie, a solitary tear falling down his cheek. He did not dwell on the thoughts of that day. It was the worst of his life, he felt so depressed that he just wanted his life to end. But Ron told Harry that she gave up her life for his, and it was a poor way of repaying her. Ron was right, and tried as Hermione had told her to do, to move on, but it was very hard without her. Harry was successful in his career in the Department of Mysteries at the Ministry with Ron, where they lived a life of secrecy. But Harry never bothered looking for that special someone, because his heart is and always will be Hermione's.
He looked down onto the parchment he had been writing on. To the picture of Hermione on his desk, which waved happily up to him, this made him smile, and to the desk calendar and saw the date: September 19th, Hermione's birthday.
He got up, took his cloak off the rack and put it on, and Disapparated. He arrived at his destination; it was a memorial park, near Hermione's home town. Harry walked down the path leading to Hermione's final resting place. Harry wasn't surprised to see, a familiar red head already there.
"Ron, I was half expecting to see you here." Harry said pleasantly.
"Oh, Harry hello there." Ron replied in the same manner. They were silent for a while, but Ron broke the silence.
"It's hard to believe that it's almost been tow years, isn't it?" He said sadly.
"I know, and I miss her bad. It's still very hard to believe she's gone." Harry replied in the same melancholic tone.
"It seems like only yesterday when she walked in our train compartment in the first year. Well Hermione, Happy Birthday once again, hope your doing well wherever you are." Ron said trying to sound casual, "Shall I wait for you?" Ron asked Harry.
"Sure, just give me a moment." And agreed and stood by the yew tree near by. Harry kneeled down and placed the bouquet of tulips, which she loved so much, onto the loot of the black marble headstone, beside the bouquet that Ron had left. "Well 'Mione, Happy Birthday. We all miss you so much, and whish you were here with us. Sorry I didn't visit any sooner, but me and Ron are out of the country most of the time, on assignments and the lot. It's a lot of fun sometimes, it's the best job in the world, but it would have been a lot better if you were here. You'd love working in the Department of Mysteries. It's been tough without you, and I know that you know what we're up to, you always do. I'll always love you, and I know we'll find each other again. May it be in the afterlife, I will find you." At that Harry stood up and made his way toward Ron.
"Lets go?" He asked, and Harry nodded in return.
"Were just so morbid," Ron said trying to cheer Harry up. "Cheer up mate, Hermione wouldn't like to see you like that. She wanted you to be happy."
"Yeah. your right. Right now she'd probably be laughing at how bad I took it, and telling me just to be happy without her." Harry said livening up a bit.
"That's the spirit, besides I know she's always with us, making sure we don't end up doing anything stupid." Ron said with a slight chuckle.
"You know, that's what she said." Harry said a small smile playing on his lips. "She never brakes a promise" Harry said before they both Disapparated to the Leaky Caldron.
END
A/N: So, was that depressing? I just love writing and reading angst. I'm not choked up, but I'm betting you are. Please Review! And tell me what you think. Well I'm off to bed, It now 3:42 am and I'm feeling drowsy. Shnoogles! (",) Yzoh