Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl, although I sincerely wish that I did.

Please read and review...this is my first fanfic ever!

It Was Meant To Be You

Serena breathed out for what seemed like the first time in weeks. Blair was finally on vacation, and it seemed like she'd actually have some time to herself for once. This sounded selfish, she knew, but she had been dealing with so many of Blair's problems for the past few weeks that she hadn't even had a second to think about her own life. With Blair in Antigua and Dan in Hudson visiting his mother, she would have all the time she needed to think about everything. Chuck was in Monaco, so she didn't even have to worry about him. Rumor had it that he wasn't coming back anytime soon. So much the better, she thought grimly. This was all pretty much his fault, if you thought about it. He had somehow seduced Blair, and then tipped off Gossip Girl, ruined her relationship with Nate, her friends, her reputation, and then, in one last vicious cut-down he had crushed her last shred of dignity. No, she didn't miss him at all.

She was sitting in the Palace Bar, snacking on little green olives from a bowl, as people sipping vodka and gin watched her with bemused smirks on their faces. She realized how ridiculous this was. She was Serena van der Woodsen, and here she was, at the bar on a Friday night, eating olives instead of having a drink. She really was getting tired of this whole good girl thing, and one drink wasn't going to hurt. "One martini please," she called to a passing server.

When her drink came, she sipped at it slowly. It was like liquid fire in her mouth and hell it was good. She'd missed these nightly drinking sessions more than she ever would have imagined. She downed the martini with one gulp and called for another. She winced as she thought about what Dan would say if he knew what she was doing right now. Somehow, she really didn't care. She downed a second, and before she knew it, she was on her fifth, sixth…everything was blurry, but the thoughts in her mind were crystal clear.

She thought about the moment when Dan had told her that he was in love with her, how her throat had closed up and she had choked on her words. Why hadn't it been easy to tell him that she loved him too? While Erik's idea that she mistrusted him because of her mother's false love for her previous husbands was plausible, something about it didn't seem quite right. Why had she not felt right when she said the actual words, even after he had explained the reasoning behind his love? She had rushed out of there as quickly as she could, feeling sick to her stomach. What was wrong with her anyway? The air suddenly seemed to be sucked out of the room, and all she could feel was dizzy heat overwhelming her. She needed air. She jolted up, but as she tried to take a step she tripped over her shoe. She giggled. "I'm drunk," she warbled, to no one in particular.

She felt a heavy hand on her shoulder. "Steady there. Need a hand?"

Looking up, she found her eyes lost in Nate's intense green gaze. Where had he come from? She tried to scowl at him, vaguely recalling that he had done something to Blair. "Not from you," she slurred, and her knees buckled. Everything suddenly spun in front of her and she felt herself slipping into total darkness. The last thing she felt before she completely lost consciousness was Nate's strong arms wrapping around her, not letting her fall.

Serena blinked, and hazy light filtered through her eyelids. Her head pounded and she quickly squeezed them shut again. Slowly, her eyes fluttered open, and she looked around herself, dazed. Where was she? She could remember countless times like this, when she had woken up in a strange place, her head throbbing and her mind jumbled, but it had been so long since she had experienced this. It was odd, almost as though she was reliving the past. She shook her head, trying to remember the previous night. What had happened? She heard a deep voice resonating from another room in the house. Suddenly, she bolted up, ignoring the sharp pain in her head. That wasn't Dan! Had she cheated on Dan with some random guy from some random bar?

Slowly, she got out of bed, afraid that whoever he was would be lusting for more of…whatever had happened last night. She looked down at herself and was relieved to discover that she was still wearing her Marc Jacobs shirt and Seven Jeans, although everything had been slightly loosened. She had expected to be wearing only her thong, if anything at all. Still, this was strange. Why had she woken up in an unfamiliar bed in an unrecognizable apartment wearing her clothes? Hesitantly, she called out, "Hello?"

"Morning, Serena! Or more like good afternoon. It's almost lunchtime," a voice called back. Serena froze.

"Nate?"

"Yeah?" Oh God, she thought, panicking. What was she doing in Nate's apartment?

"What am I doing here?" she asked, trying to keep her voice calm. Surely she would remember something, or feel something if…she shuddered. No. Nothing had happened.

"Don't you remember? Well, actually I'm not surprised that you don't. You passed out at the Palace Bar…the waitress said you downed seven and half martinis in less than a half hour. I showed up around midnight, and I came over for a chat. I ended up carrying you into a taxi, and I would have taken you home but then I remembered that you were living in the Palace. So here you are." Nate stepped into the room. He was fully clothed, and Serena couldn't help but think that he was gorgeous. She almost slapped herself. What was she doing, thinking things like that about Nate?

Still, something tugged at Serena's mind. "Nate, nothing happened did it? I mean, I didn't…you didn't…we didn't?" she mumbled, trying to find the right words to express the embarrassing worry that was plaguing her brain.

He gazed at her with an unsettling intensity in his eyes. "Serena. Do you really think I would take advantage of you when you were passed out, drunk? This happened all the time in the old days, and I never laid a finger on you. What kind of cad do you take me for?"

Serena was startled by the passion in his voice. "Sorry, Nate. I didn't mean to say that. It's just that after everything that's happened, I've been a little…I mean I've barely had a conversation with you since the Shepard Wedding and after what happened when we tried to talk, things got- I just wasn't sure."

Why did his eyes burn like that when he looked at her? "Serena, I just want to talk to you, to start over and make everything right between us. What did I do or not do to make things the way they are?"

She drew back, almost frightened by the directness of his words. "I really should go. It's almost twelve." She couldn't do this right now. Her head was already splitting, and she didn't think she had the strength for this.

She turned to leave, but Nate grabbed her hand. "Serena. You run away from me every time I try to make things right. Hear me out just this once. Why are things the way they are?"

Her navy eyes grew wide and soft as she realized that she couldn't run away from him, even if she wanted to. "I-I don't know, Nate. I think maybe our lives just came between us. I mean, I have Dan and he'd probably be pretty upset if he knew we were even talking, considering our history and everything. And you hurt Blair badly. She's not doing well at all, and I don't think the idea of our friendship would make her any happier. And after everything, don't you think friendship would be a little hard?"

"Do you think we could try?" Nate asked, pleadingly. "We were like best friends, me and you and Blair." His face darkened a bit when he pronounced Blair's name, as though she caused him to lose focus. He paused for a second and then continued. "This awkwardness between us, I can't stand it. Please, will you try for me?"

Serena's face softened, touched by his words. "Nate, I want things to be the way they used to be and I want us to be what we were. But Blair is still in love with you and she would never forgive me if she knew we were talking, and I think it will be a while before she's willing to forgive you for breaking up with her. Just know that I care about you- as a friend- and that when you need me, I'll be there for you, okay?"

He nodded. "Thanks."

Serena was suddenly aware of the fact that he was still holding onto her hand, and she snatched it away suddenly. They were both silent for a minute, lost in their private thoughts. Serena felt her head aching again. "Well, I guess I'd better go. You know, I have stuff to do and so…"

"Yeah, sure. See you around, Serena."

She waved at him, and slowly walked out of his spacious penthouse, relieved and a bit bewildered. She also had the uncomfortable sensation that his smoldering eyes were burning holes into her back. He was definitely watching her.

Good Morning, UES,

Or should I say afternoon? S thinks it's still morning. She was spotted stumbling out of N's apartment just a few minutes ago, wearing the same clothes she wore yesterday. Hmm…an N and S sleepover? Wonder what D thinks of this one. Looks like he's Lonely Boy once again. More importantly, what does everyone's favorite (or least favorite) ex-It girl think of S's not-so-graceful exit from her former bf's apartment. Sure, B's S's bff, but something tells me she won't exactly be thrilled to learn that S spent the night in her ex-bf's apartment. And of course, the question on everyone's lips: Is our bad-girl back for good? Only time will tell. And me? I'm happy just to watch.

X.O.X.O.,

Gossip Girl

Jenny flipped open her laptop and headed to the Gossip Girl homepage. It took ages to load, since the Internet in Hudson was about as sluggish as could be. Being in Hudson was pure torture. She would have loved to see her mom, but watching her snuggle up to the Mom-Stealing Neighbor-Guy, who Allison insisted on calling Alex, was too much to bear. Besides, she had been planning a Barney's shopping spree with her friends. Of course, she wouldn't actually buy anything- everything there cost more than their rent- but she would gain popularity points from just being there. And Dan had been acting weird around her. He probably knew that she had told Nate about Blair and Chuck, but who really cared? He was loser and she was a princess, so it wasn't like she wanted him to talk to her. But still, his coldness toward her had made the Hudson trip even less bearable.

When the Gossip Girl homepage finally loaded, she couldn't believe her eyes. Her brother's girlfriend had spent the night in Nate Archibald's apartment? She narrowed her eyes. Nate was her perfect boy, and she would stop at nothing to get him. And even if her brother was a loser, she couldn't believe Serena would treat him like this. "Dan," she called hesitantly. "I think there's something you should see."

Blair was catching up on the latest fashion news in this month's Vogue and sunning herself on the picturesque white beach under the golden Antigua sun. Serena had been right, she did need this vacation. Even if taking a week off from school did look desperate in the eyes of the new popular princesses, Blair would come back with the most perfect natural tan ever, not to mention the fabulous new clothes she had purchased since her arrival. She zoned out, freeing her mind of the thoughts of Chuck and Nate that had constantly plagued her in New York. She might even be able to get over them here. Maybe.

She ordered a strawberry daiquiri and scanned the beach for potential hotties. There was one sunning himself on the beach, but when he turned to her, she found that his mocking smile reminded her too much of Chuck. A wave of nausea swept over her. She was never going to get past this. Suddenly, though, a blonde guy with soft blue eyes and an amazing tan caught her eye. He was playing beach volleyball with a couple of his friends, but he looked her way and began to stare at her. Blair smiled at him beguilingly. She knew she looked insanely hot in her tiny black bikini. He flashed her a smile and went back to his game, but she could tell her was watching her. She turned away so that he could catch a glimpse of her toned ass. This might be fun after all.

Her cell phone vibrated, though, interrupting her far-away flirtations with Beach Hottie. She glanced at it, annoyed, and saw that it was a text message from Gossip Girl. Should she open it? Undoubtedly it would only make her upset. After all, hadn't she come here to escape from all that? But the temptation was too great, and Blair found herself engrossed in the latest news from everyone's "favorite" gossipmonger.

"Oh.My.God," Blair breathed as she read the text. Serena and Nate? That slut! She couldn't even wait two weeks after the breakup! How could she? Blair was enraged, and began to hyperventilate. She felt tears forming in her eyes. It had all been a lie, then, Serena's pretended devotion to her and Nate's ardent declarations of his love right before they had broken up. Had Serena encouraged her to go on this vacation so that she could hook up with Nate? Could she even have played a part in the breakup so she could get to the one guy she couldn't have? Maybe she had told Dan on purpose, praying that it would somehow reach the ears of his social-climbing, backstabbing sister. These thoughts overwhelmed her, and she felt as though she needed to throw up. She wanted to cry, but she was Blair Waldorf, and Waldorfs never cry. She put on her largest Audrey Hepburn sunglasses, downed the entire daiquiri, and turned back to the hottie playing beach volleyball. She was a Waldorf, after all, and concealing her feelings happened to be her particular specialty.

Serena was sitting in a little bistro near her house when she saw the text and she immediately began cursing Gossip Girl. Why did that psycho-stalker with no life have to ruin everything? It was time to undo the damage that never should have been done. She got out her phone, and prepared for some major damage control. She saw that she already had two texts, one from Nate and one from Dan. She read Nate's first, afraid to even look at Dan's. It read: damn it. cn gossip girl? sorry.

Quickly, Serena texted back. yeah but it's ok. not ur fault. cant talk rite now though.

Within seconds, Nate had replied: cool. see you around.

Serena cringed as she opened the text message from Dan. She had learned that he was a rather jealous sort of guy, as was evident from his treatment of her after he learned about her past with Nate. Sure enough, it read: We really need to talk. My sister showed me Gossip Girl and I think we should definitely discuss the insinuations that you spent the night in Nate's apartment. What happened to being over him? And what happened to being in love with me?

Leave it to Dan to punctuate his texts and use long words. Still, she understood why he was upset. She picked up the phone and dialed his number. "Hello?" asked a deep voice on the other line.

She took a deep breath and launched into her explanation. "Hey, Dan it's Serena and I know this situation looks really bad and everything but you have to believe me because everything I tell you right now is going to be the truth."

"All right," he said, but not without suspicion in his voice.

"Okay, so I went to the Palace Bar last night and I got a little carried away and I ended up getting really drunk and then Nate showed up. I totally passed out right then and he obviously wasn't going to just leave me there so he picked me up and got me in a taxi and he was going to take me to my house but then he remembered that I was staying in the Palace and I guess he just didn't want to carry me back inside and into the elevator so he took me back to his apartment. And in the morning I woke up and I was still wearing my clothes and he was in another room, for God's sake, and I trust Nate, because this used to happen all the time and he never took advantage of me or anything. So anyway, I just talked with Nate for a little while and we decided that it was time for us to put the past in the past and be friends again and then I left and I guess some idiot tipped off Gossip Girl and now the entire Upper East Side probably thinks I'm some skank who slept with Nate right after he and Blair broke up. I doubt any of that made any sense whatsoever, seeing as how I barely even took a breath, but I'm telling you that it wasn't what you think and that I love you and if you love me, you'll trust me." Serena paused, praying for Dan's forgiveness.

"Wow," Dan said. "Serena, I really don't know what to make of all this. First of all, it's not that I don't trust you, it's that I don't trust Nate. And second, I thought you were done with your wild, drunken days. Things like this wouldn't happen if you weren't slurping hard alcohol."

"Dan," Serena said, exasperated. She felt like she was talking to her mother or something. "I've gotten drunk one time since we've been together, so I would hardly say that my wild, drunken days have returned, and I don't think that that has anything to d with what we're talking about here. Okay, so if you trust me then what was with that text you sent me? And why on earth wouldn't you trust Nate?"

Dan sighed. "Okay, Serena that's fair enough. I guess I overreacted, but when a guy finds out that his girlfriend spent the night in the apartment of the one guy who she couldn't resist in the past, you can hardly expect him to be totally cool about it. And why would I trust Nate? He cheated on Blair and dumped her when she cheated on him. I hate to put it this way, but I don't trust him and you shouldn't either. I'm afraid that he still has feelings for you and that something might happen if you two try to be friends again. It's me or Nate, Serena. You have to make a choice."

Serena sucked in her breath. This wasn't happening. "Dan, you don't even know Nate. Why are you judging him like this? Why are you making me choose between my boyfriend and someone I care about deeply as a friend?"

"Because you slept with that someone, Serena. Maybe I am being judgmental, but I think what I ask is fair enough," Dan said, his voice level.

"I thought we were beyond this. I didn't even know you back then!" Serena shouted. "I thought you cared about me enough to be above these stupid rumors. If you have to ask this of me, and if you can't trust me without banning me from caring about the people that I care about, I don't think that this is going to work."

"You slept with Nate. I think you care about him a little too much," Dan yelled into the phone.

"If you really believe that, then I think I can make that choice in a heartbeat, Dan," Serena said softly, her voice a broken whisper. "I choose friendship that's worth something over love that isn't worth anything."

"So I guess this is over, then?" asked Dan in an equally soft voice.

"I guess so." Serena was struggling to keep from sobbing. "Good-bye, Dan."

"Bye."

Click. Serena stared down at the phone, wondering if this was really happening. How was she going to live without Dan? She realized that she had no one to go to now except for Blair. And Nate of course, but he was the reason that this had happened and she didn't really feel like talking to him right now. She dialed Blair's number, reluctant to interrupt her tropical paradise, but in great need of a friend. There was no answer. And there was no answer the second time. Or the third. Suddenly it hit her. Blair had seen the text message and thought exactly what everyone else thought. She texted Blair for good measure, saying only: it's not true believe me. call me and i'll explain. But she knew Blair well enough to know that she was not going to call back. Serena put her head in her hands and let all the tears she hadn't cried in the last few tragic hours fall down her cheeks, and sobs began to rack her body.