ZA: So a very good friend of mine started writing fanfiction, but then she realized that she had no way of posting it. I, being a good friend, decided to help her out and started co-authoring the story.

E: We do not own Harry Potter or Black Butler.

Chapter 1: His Butler, Starting

Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, and Hermione Granger were sitting in the Gryffindor common room when Colin Creevey ran up to them.

"Hiya, Harry," he squeaked. "Guess what- we have a new Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher!"

"What?!" all three said at the same time. "But wait," Harry added. "I thought Umbridge was our teacher."

"Maybe something awful happened to her," said Ron gleefully. "Maybe she got cursed or something."

"I don't know," Colin admitted. "No one knows what happened to her except the teachers, and they're not talking. But I know you have Defense today, so I thought you should know. See ya, Harry!" He bolted off again.

"First of all," Harry began, "how did he know we had Defense today? It's not like our schedules are what everyone talks about. And second of all, no Umbridge? What does that even mean?"

"Colin's part of your fan club, Harry, of course he knows your schedule like the back of his hand," said Hermione, rolling her eyes. "But I don't believe for a minute that Umbridge is gone. Who else would we have for a teacher? The Ministry would have made a big deal out of finding a replacement teacher. Dumbledore couldn't find one last time."

"Well, we won't find out until after lunch," pointed out Ron. "Unless Fred and George will tell us. They've got Defense first thing."

"Now look who knows whose schedule," Hermione teased. Ron's ears turned red.

"Let's go get breakfast," ventured Harry, eager to change the subject before they started bickering again. Ron and Hermione both immediately agreed, and they went to the Great Hall for breakfast.

They had sat down at the Gryffindor table and barely started eating when the twins and Lee Jordan plunked down across from the three.

"Have you heard?" Lee asked

"Those rumors aren't even true!" huffed Hermione. "It's ridiculous!"

¨Of course they're true," said Fred. "Otherwise Umbridge's seat wouldn't be empty.¨ He gestured to the front of the Hall where the teachers sat. Sure enough, the old toad was not in her usual seat, glowering at every student that wasn't in Slytherin.

The table was silent for a moment as everyone contemplated the rumors and ate their breakfast. When the bell rang for classes, they said their goodbyes and headed off to their separate classes. Harry noticed throughout his classes that Ron was constantly keeping his fingers crossed.

When it came to be time for lunch, Harry, Ron, and Hermione made their way to the Great Hall. However, their path was soon blocked by Peeves, who was zooming around their heads, cackling. Strangely enough, it seemed like he was not interested in the students below him.

"Wheeeee!" he yelled as he circled around the hall. "Can't catch me, little squirt!" He lobbed a water balloon down the hall. The trio heard a splash and a yell. Peeves darted off again.

Moments afterwards, a little child that looked barely old enough to be a first-year came running, soaking wet and brandishing a mop.

"How DARE you! Come back here at once, you, you little *bleeeeeep*!" yelled the blue haired kid as he disappeared out of view at the end of the hall.

"Did that first-year just curse at Peeves?" asked Hermione. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Never mind that, did you guys see what he was wearing?" Harry asked excitedly. "The kid was wearing an eyepatch! Is he dressing up as a pirate or something?"

"What is an eyepatch? Is that another Muggle thing?" demanded Ron.

"Oh, Ron," sighed Hermione. "We'll tell you later. Let's just get to lunch."

They entered the Great Hall and sat at their usual spot at the Gryffindor table. Moments later, the twins and Lee Jordan sat down across from them. LEe and George were happy, while Fred looked fairly grumpy.

"So," said Harry. "Is it true?"

"It's true all right," grumped Fred.

"Are you talking about the new Defense teacher?"Angelina Johnson stood behind them, the biggest grin on her face.

"He is the best Defense teacher ever to exist!" she sighed happily.

"Angelina…." Ron said slowly. "Are you okay?"

"You'll see. He's is AMAZING!" She squealed and ran off to find her friends.

Fred cast a disgruntled look after her. "All the girls love him," he grumbled. "It must be the things he says, he's just so weird…"

George laughed. "What my twin's trying to say without sounding JEALOUS is that the old guy is a tad bit perverted. I think it's hilarious, but ickle Grumpykins here is mad because his girlfriend is in luuuuuuurve with the new professor."

"She's NOT my girlfriend!"

Harry and Ron both burst out in laughter while Hermione looked on, horrified.

"How could a professor at this school be perverted?" she gasped. "Dumbledore had to have interviewed him about this kind of stuff! That is unprofessional!"

"Well, he sounds like a laugh," admitted Ron after he caught his breath. "Can't wait to have him."

A clock chimed somewhere in the castle.

"Speak of the devil," said Harry happily. "Time for Defense."

"Hmph," muttered Hermione. "Defense with a perverted old man." She remained sulky the entire walk to the Defense classroom.

When they entered the old dungeon, the teacher was not even inside. The whole classroom was buzzing about the new teacher. Everyone had seemed to hear about him and was excited for class to begin.

All of a sudden the lanterns went out and shades were drawn on the windows. The whole classroom was engulfed in darkness. Then, just as suddenly as the darkness had come, it disappeared. Where Umbridge usually sat now stood a tall man with long dark hair and red eyes.

"Good morning, class," he said, smiling. "My name is Professor Michaelis. I will be teaching your class today."