The soft tangerine hues of dawn fill up the room. The first thing Harvey notices as his consciousness comes back to him is a warm body pressed against his, one of his arm draped over someone's middle. For a moment, he stiffens until he breathes in the familiar scent of vanilla and something else he can't name that he associates with her.
His eyes flicker open to a mess of golden locks, bathed in a rosy glow.
Warmth spreads through his veins.
This is real. They're finally here. He is hers and she is his.
He smiles to himself, feeling the tension leave his body immediately as memories of the previous hours come back to him.
Harvey takes in the view before him. Donna is on her side, back pressed to his front, hand clutching one of his that's resting over her chest. He pulls her closer then, cherishing the fact that he gets to do this now, how he gets to hold her just because he wants to. No longer able to resist the urge, he gently kisses her neck.
In this moment he really doesn't understand why they kept each other at arm's length all these years. He doesn't understand why they deprived themselves of this. Of each other.
As he peppers kisses on the back of her shoulder, he feels her stir and he knows she's awake. She stretches in his arms, a small smile creeping on her face at the pleasant ache between her legs.
She shifts so she can face him properly, one of her legs slipping in between his. Her hand finds its way up to cup his face, smiling at the way he kisses her palm as she does so.
"Hi," they start at the same time.
They let out twin giggles at the absurdity of their current situation. If someone told her two days ago that they'd be here right now, tangled up in one another, in her bed, she'd probably laugh in their face. But here they are, after 14 years of living in denial.
"Hey, stranger," he rasps out, voice groggy with sleep. His free hand finds her hair, tucking a stray lock behind her ear.
Donna feels her stomach flip. God, he makes her pathetic. He says hey in a sleep-laden voice looking like thatand suddenly she's 15 years old again with a schoolgirl crush.
"Morning." A shy smile creeps on her face.
A sudden rush of affection fills him. He leans down to press a kiss on her forehead before tilting her chin up and letting his lips meet hers in a gentle kiss. She lets out a content sigh, fingers reaching to play with the hair at the nape of his neck.
Pulling away, he sends her a loving glance. "Sleep okay?"
"At the risk of letting it get to your head, that was the best sleep I've ever had."
He doesn't even try to stop the smirk forming on his face. He kisses her one more time before noticing the way her smile falters.
"You alright?" He asks, brows furrowed in confusion.
Donna looks up to meet his eyes. "Why now?"
He lets out a small sigh before answering, eyes never leaving hers even though the urge is there. "I was talking to Samantha last night. She was telling me about Robert and her and how he's always been there for her, how he's always accepted her. I don't know. Got me thinking I guess."
He pulls himself up to a sitting position, body leaning on the headrest. Donna mimics his move and takes his hand in hers.
"I almost lost everything yesterday, Donna. I could've lost my license and my job. But all I could think about was you. I was sitting in front of that ethics board and all I could think about was how much I wanted- no, needed you there, regardless of the outcome. I could've lost it all and it wouldn't have mattered because I had you."
"Harvey, I-"
"No, please let me finish." He cuts her off, needing to get the words out now.
"It led me to know that-" he hesitates, searching for the right words.
"It led me to realize that you're the one. You're the first person I wanted to call to share the good news with. You're the one I wanna run to when shit hits the fan. I'm tired of coming home to an empty apartment every night because you're the one I wanna come home to."
Donna feels her heart stop with every word he says.
"And I don't know, I guess after seeing you with Thomas it occurred to me that you might be moving on. That I'm gonna lose you for good."
His little speech leaves her breathless. She can feel her eyes welling up, a lump forming on her throat. Sitting there with her mouth slightly agape, Donna lets the meaning of his words sink in.
A teasing smirk crawls its way up his face. "I left you speechless, didn't I? What's the date today? I wanna write this down. The great Donna Paulsen is speechless."
"Oh, shut up and kiss me, you idiot." A watery chuckle escapes her lips. She pulls him in for a sweet kiss then, smiling against his lips. One of his hands reaches up to palm the side of her head, thumb stroking her face oh so gently as if she's something so fragile and delicate.
Donna doesn't remember ever feeling so light, so loved, so happy.
He tucks a stray lock of hair on her ear when she pulled away.
"Wow, I poured out my heart and soul to you and 'idiot' is what I get? Jeez, woman, you wound me." He dramatically puts a hand over his chest, making her giggle.
"Ever the drama queen." She shakes her head fondly at him.
Throwing her leg over his, she moves to sit on his lap. His hands immediately find their way to her waist. Her fingers lightly trace his face, smoothing over the lines that weren't there the last time they were in bed together, over the moles above his eye, trying to reacquaint herself with his body.
They simply stay there in silence for a little while, relishing the serenity of it all.
Memories of the past weeks come flooding in her mind. Giving it a shot with Thomas as her last attempt at moving on. The phone call with Scottie. The unfinished conversation with Harvey. Choosing Thomas over Harvey. Harvey almost taking the fall for her. Harvey. Harvey. Harvey.
Donna breaks the silence, her voice breaking a little.
"I'm sorry, Harvey." Her eyes find his in a painful gaze.
"God, I'm so sorry for putting you in this position. I never meant for anything like this to happen. I got so caught up with protecting him that I didn't realize I handed you over to Hardman on a silver platter."
The torment in her eyes leaves an aching in his heart.
He pulls her into a bone-crushing hug. Burying his face on the crook of her neck, he has one hand on her waist keeping her close and the other tangled in her red curls.
Letting out a shuddered breath, it is then that the weight of what happened hits him.
Another damage left in the destructive path of their refusal to face their feelings for each other. And this time, it's not just them getting hurt.
"We're a mess, aren't we?" Donna mumbled to his shoulder.
"Yeah, but you're my mess," he quips as she pulls away.
His words bring a chuckle out of her. This is her reality now. Harvey in her home, in her bed, in her arms. Harvey making jokes like that at her.
He doesn't think he's ever witnessed a better view before. The sight of Donna straddling him, wearing nothing but a smile, hazel eyes twinkling in the morning light, is a sight he thought he'd never see. And before he realized what he was doing, the words slipped out of his mouth.
"I love you, Donna."
Both of their eyes widen at his sudden confession. And for a moment, Donna braces herself for the panic to sink in.
But it never came.
Harvey finds himself saying the words again.
"I love you. So much." His brown orbs bore into her hazel ones the whole time.
The sweet, sweet smile that forms on her face momentarily has him at a loss for words. And in that moment he vows he'll never stop telling her he loves her for the rest of his life.
She leans in and the way her bottom lip fits around his feels like home.
So then they find out. They find out what it's like to just let themselves feel. To accept the feelings they've both been suppressing for 14 years. To be whole.
"Not gonna say it back?" He tilted his head to look at her, fingers stroking her arms.
"Say what back?" she teases, eyes gleaming with mirth.
He gives her an exasperated look. "You know what."
Pursing her lip, she tries to fight off a grin from taking over at his neediness. She decides to make him work for it. "Do I?"
"But Donna," he almost whines.
Laughter bubbles from her throat. She thinks about teasing him a little bit more but she caves.
She brushes some hair out of his face, stroking his face gently before letting their eyes meet once again.
"You know I love you, Harvey."
The words shouldn't have surprised him but they do. He sees them coming and yet they leave him in awe.
Donna's heart fluttered at the lovestruck look on his face. It's a look she's resigned herself to never seeing. At least, not directed at her. But he's here in her arms, looking at her like she hung the moon and God, she loves him. She loves him so much.
"Say it again."
So she does. She tells him again and again and again as she presses kisses on his face. His cheeks. His nose. His forehead. His lips.
"Not gonna ask me how?" she questions him, resting her forehead against his.
"I think I have an idea." His mouth meet hers in an open-mouthed kiss. He lifts her off his lap and gently lays her down on the bed, hovering above her. He runs his hands all over her body, trying to reach every single part of her. Her own hands are digging into his back, painted nails leaving crescent marks on his skin.
Here in the confines of her bedroom, they lose themselves in each other. Over and over again.
It feels like coming home.