Disclaimer: I don't own Labyrinth or associated characters.
Jareth's Secret Diaries – delve into the dark and twisted mind of a sociopathic power hungry narcissist. Kidding. How does a powerful diva spend his days? Bugging the mortal victor of the Labyrinth among other things. Drabbles. J and S. Title taken from LOTR 'The very secret diaries' written by the now famous Cassie Claire.
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Was going to write a tangent, one shot, story about J and S going on a sort of date in the Dark Court universe for Anneige. But...somehow came up with this instead.
The Week of the Dreaded Shopping Trip
(Monday)…
That insolent, insufferable girl—mortal clothes are so miserably boring. I refuse to dress my royal body in such boring clothes. But then she says I can't come to her show unless I can 'at least try and pass for human.'
Of all the insults. Really.
(Tuesday)…
Terrible day. Kicked two goblins out of the tower window because they were…horror of horrors…singing. I'd rather listen to a wildebeest in heat.
Have a massive headache. Still haven't changed her mind.
(Wednesday)…
Was dragged through a large, lifeless store called Barney's – full of the ugliest clothes ever. Told Sarah I'd behead anyone who dared set up such a shop in my kingdom. Silly girl paid me no mind and pushed me to try something called a Zegna suit. Laughed when I asked if the suit was made of Zegnas…whatever they are.
Most boring outfit ever. Bought leather shoes made by someone called Ferragamo. They're adequate.
(Thursday)…
That annoying, miserable scab of a dwarf says Sarah has a date with someone called Bret…or is it Blane. Terrible mood. Will soak in jasmine scented bath and take extra time to condition hair. I bet Blake's hair is not as soft as mine.
(Friday)…
Sarah wasn't really impressed with soft, conditioned hair. Silly girl. Got her priorities wrong. Met Bland…not his name, but it should be. Dullest person ever. Gave Sarah a look and told her she could do much better than that.
Got hit on the head by something called a paperweight. Not to self – it's not made of paper. Have major headache.
(Saturday)…
Have thrown out all Goblins and their chickens from castle – have a few hours of peace. I wonder what Sarah's up to
…conjures up crystal…jumps back as he sees Sarah glare at him…
How does the minx know when I look in? It's not fair. What's the point of being a magical king when I can't even stalk my mortal obsession?
(Sunday)…
Sarah's art show was an all-day affair. Bland wasn't around—she must have taken my advice seriously. Unfortunately, was careless enough to tell her 'she must be smartening up.' Barely avoided another paperweight thrown in my direction. I swear, that girl's plotting regicide.
Had dinner at a Burmese restaurant – note to self: get the cook to learn how to make khao suey.
Yea, so this isn't serious at all. The GK is secretly impressed with Ferragamo shoes.