Saying Goodbye
Summary: Sometimes being in love just isn't enough. With that, he realized that it was time to say goodbye. Tears silently fell down his cheeks as he walked away from the woman he loved, perhaps forever. D/Hr
A/N: This story is dedicated to all those amazing D/Hr writers out there! Thanks for all your hard work!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot.
Draco Malfoy stared from afar as he watched Hermione Granger put on a fake smile as her friends Ron Weasley and Harry Potter tell her jokes. This couldn't go on anymore, the war was too close. He knew it, she knew it. But it didn't stop them from continuing meeting every night.
He stared at those eyes that he loved, her lips, her hair, her touch, her voice, he loved them all. But they couldn't be together, he had known right from the start. In the end, one of them would kill the other. They would have to watch the other die in order for the nightmare to end. In the end, he would have to kill her, or die.
He knew he was a coward for not turning over to the light side. But he couldn't abandon his mother, the one other person who had loved him. They would kill her if he switched over.
He was sick of it all though. He was sick of the tortured screams and terrified expressions haunting his dreams. He was sick of waking up in the middle of night to throw up from the horrifying nightmares. He was sick of the hateful glares he received from all. He was sick of being misunderstood. He was sick of pretending to be loyal to someone he wasn't.
She had been his angel of light. She had saved him right when he was at the point of breaking down. She had saved him from the evil that consumed his dreams. He never understood why she was always there for him though. He had done nothing but say hateful words before breaking down, and seeing her reach out for him once more.
He banged his hand against the wall in the shadows where he was hidden. He growled as he watched Weasley snake his hand into hers, and hold it tight. He saw her surprised expression and her reluctance to keep his hand there. She looked around and saw his gaze. She lowered her head and kept walking with her hands remaining in his.
Jealousy blurred his vision, and he winced at the pain his hand was giving him. He stared at the blood coming from the cut he received from the rough wall. Leaving his hand unattended, he slowly walked towards the courtyard, hating the falling snow. He stared at the huge tree, in the middle of Hogwarts and remembered all the times that they met under that tree.
Why was it that he had to suffer for his father's evil doings and was expected to be the same as his father? If there was one thing he hated the most, it was being compared to his father. He hated his father. He hated him even more than that despicable Voldemort. He hated being a death eater, and he hated that he couldn't switch over. He hated having weaknesses that his father knew of. That is why no one must know what was going on between him and her.
He knew that she loved him, almost as much as he loved her. However, there were times when he felt that she'd rather be free. He saw the pain in her eyes, the choices she had to make just to be with him. He wasn't good for her; he could see it in Weasley's eyes whenever he had even glanced at her. He didn't understand why she stayed with him, he could give her nothing, yet she gave him her everything.
"Hey." He didn't even have to turn around to recognize that voice.
"What are you doing here?" he asked roughly.
"I saw you over here, and decided to come say hi." She quietly whispered, walking over to put her arms around him.
He shrugged her arms off him, and tried to ignore the look of pain that crossed her face.
"Weren't you having fun with Weasley and Potter?" he tried to keep the bitterness out of his voice, however it didn't seem to work.
He felt her stiffen, and sigh quietly.
"Don't be like this Draco, we've discussed this before."
"What, that the one that you love is me, and not him?"
"Well…yes." He turned his head away from her as he heard her hesitate.
"Then you don't feel anything for him, not even a little?"
"I do feel something, but that's only because we've been best friends since 1st year, I mean that's a long time."
He stood there silently, until a gasp rang out.
"Your hand, it's bleeding." She rushed over to look it over.
He roughly took his hand back from her grasp. "It's nothing."
"Why, Draco, why do you keep pushing me away?" she said while a tear silently fell.
He lowered his head, and whispered the words he knew he would regret for a lifetime. "I think it's time for us to go our separate ways."
He quickly brushed the lone tear that fell down his face before she saw.
"Why…?"
"I guess I'm tired."
"Tired? Of what?" he tried not to notice how her voice quivered and her eyes shined brightly of unshed tears.
"I'm tired of having to put a fake smile on my face every time we meet. I'm tired of watching you pretend to be with Weasley. I'm tired of knowing that I'll never be good enough for you. I'm tired of knowing I could never give you anything. I'm tired of every single detail of our relationship."
"So that's it? You're just going to break it off by saying your tired?"
"Is there another way you want me to do it? Do you want to catch me with another woman? Do you want me to do it in front of everyone in the school? Do you want me to leave you a note, and disappear completely from you?" he yelled angrily, trying his hardest not to cry.
"Don't do this Draco. Don't break my heart." She murmured.
"Well, being with you broke mine." He angrily hissed.
Without looking back he stormed off, trying his hardest not to cry.
It seemed that hours became days, and days became weeks. Everyone was constantly talking about the change in Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy. It seemed that they both, just died out. She no longer participated in class, instead she seemed to hide within herself and all she seemed to do was sit there quietly. While Draco seemed to never appear at all. He stayed in his room, only coming out occasionally for food or perhaps just to fly outside on his broom. They avoided each other as much as they could, and if the did meet, he avoided her gaze and quickly walked away.
Draco made an effort to show that he no longer loved her. He flirted with Pansy, slyly gave her kisses on the lips, and then made sure no one saw him wiping his lips in disgust.
He tried desperately to ignore the looks that appeared on her face, and how hard she tried to prevent it from showing.
He tired to forget about her, to forget about the times they shared. He constantly reminded himself that it was for the better, that he could give her nothing.
He didn't plan on loving her, he told himself. It just somehow happened. However when he tried to tell himself that it was all a mistake, this big mistake that turned into some warped mess, a tiny voice in his head told him it was all meant to be.
Lies. There was no such thing as love. He had learned that from a young age. He didn't know anyone who had true love. There was only lust and wanting. That was all you could expect from a relationship. For at the end of the day, that was all that was left, and true love was only a silly idea taken out of stupid fairy tales, created by lonely and miserable people.
He walked briskly across the grounds only to be stopped by, who would have guessed, the boy-who-just-won't-die, and also known as Harry James Potter. Why he would know his middle name is beyond his belief as well.
"What do you want Potter? I don't have time to listen to your annoying face?"
"Why do you continuously hurt her?"
Draco's eyes narrowed as he realized who he was talking about.
"I don't think I know what you mean."
"I only allowed you to continue seeing Hermione because I thought you would at least make her happy. But then you went off and broke her heart, you heartless jerk."
"It was for the best." Draco rubbed his eyes in frustration.
"Do you love her? If you love her, then why aren't you with her?"
Draco laughed bitterly. "You think it's that simple? You're more naïve than I thought."
"Do you love her or not?"
"So what if I love her? I can't give her anything. Being with me would only bring her danger and sorrow. How can I say I love her knowing this?"
With this Draco gave him a steely glare, and stormed off.
He found himself ending up in exactly the same spot he was when it all started, and saw her doing exactly the same thing that day. He laughed bitterly. She turned at the sound and quickly fell off the ladder from the top of the bookcase.
He rushed over quickly, and caught her. His breath was swept away as he stared into those eyes that he loved.
"Th-thanks." She while shaking, answered.
He nodded curtly and walked away.
However he didn't get very far before he heard her softly whisper. "Can we talk?"
He stopped and turned to face her.
"I suppose so."
They quietly walked towards the tree where they had shared their first kiss. It hadn't seemed that long ago, he realized, but now it was. He sighed. If only… there was so many things that he could say to finish that sentence. However none of them seemed to matter. His only wish was to be with Hermione Granger once more. But nothing could ever save this catastrophic relationship that had spiraled out of his control. (A/N: Sorry if it seems weird, I just had to use that phrase at least once. Hehe.) It had to end, for her safety and he didn't care if he was being selfish, he couldn't live if he lost her.
"I don't understand." She finally said after many minutes of silence.
"What's there to understand? We're over, two very simple words." He replied harshly.
"We've shared so many memories together." She quietly whispered as he remained silent.
"There was the time at Hogsmade, with the butterbeer, chocolate frogs, and that enormously overweight lady, remember? Or that time when we played outside in the snow? Or the time where we spent the night at the Astronomy Tower just talking the night away? Or at the Yule Ball where we opened the ball together as the Heads and you told me that you thought I was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen? What about all those memories we shared? Don't they mean anything to you?" she yelled.
"You'll gain new and better memories." He replied, his voice empty with emotion.
"Stop it!"
"Stop what?" he answered tiredly.
"Stop pretending you don't love me. Stop pretending that you don't want us to be together anymore. Stop being selfish and stop breaking my heart by protecting me. You think that just because we aren't together anymore that it will make me less of a target to Voldemort? No matter what you do, I'll still be that vile mudblood who's Potter's best friend!"
"I want it to be this way. I don't care if I'm being selfish, I'm not changing my mind."
"Why?" she sobbed.
"You think that by staying with you, that it'll change anything? Because we both know it won't. At the end of the day, I'm still a death eater, and you're still Potter's best friend. We might not know when or where, but we both know that at the end of this blood feud, this war, one of us will go down by the other's hands."
"Tell Dumbledore, he can help you! You wouldn't have to be a death eater anymore!"
"You think that would work? You think that a simple explanation to Dumbledore will help me? Voldemort has had his eyes on me the moment father became a death eater. He will not let go if me that easily, and I'm not willing to give up my mother's life in order to save my own." He angrily yelled.
They sat in a moment of silence until she finally dejectedly asked.
"So that's how it's going to be? Nothing I say will change your mind?"
"I really wish it would Hermione. I really wish I could be selfish. However our happiness would only be short-lived, we both know that. You'll move on, get married to some great guy that will love you, have gorgeous kids, be happy, and forget all about me. "
She sobbed quietly, and they both sat there quietly, wishing that this could end differently, that this was a different world where things wouldn't have to be like this.
"I thought you loved me." She finally whispered.
"Sometimes being in love just isn't enough." With that he realized it was time to finally say goodbye. Goodbye to all the memories, to his love that he'll always have in his heart, and to the woman he knew would hold his heart forever. Tears silently fell down his cheeks as he walked away from the woman he loved, perhaps forever.
"Goodbye Hermione." He quietly whispered.
"Goodbye Draco."
Epilogue:
She sat their quietly, brushing her hair slowly, wondering how and why everything ended it the way it did. The war had ended, and the price of getting rid of the source of evil that had haunted her world since the moment she had stepped into it, was her best friend. No one had expected this, no one except perhaps Harry. He had known that the moment that he stepped into battle, he would not come out alive.
The moment the war ended, both death eaters and the light side alike stood in agony as they looked around them only to see bodies of acquaintances, co-workers, friends, lovers, fiancés, husbands, wives, sons, daughters, loved ones of any form, surrounding them. Along with Harry Potter, Neville Longbottom, Luna Lovegood, Cho Chang, the Patil twins, Charlie Weasley, Bellatrix Black, Pansy Parkinson, Blaise Zabini, Crabbe and Goyle, Hannah Abbot, and many others had perished. Never in her life, had Hermione seen so much death, and the image of it, she knew, would stick with it for the rest of her life.
However, even within all those bodies of people, she had not seen the face that had haunted her mind, dreams, and thoughts, since that fateful day under the tree. Draco Malfoy, she laughed bitterly. What was it about him that made her love him after every thing that had happened? She looked at the image in front of her. Her wedding dress had come along quite well. It was a simple strapless dress that clung to her body up to the waist before flowing into a pick up skirt, with a chapel train. Yes, she had done exactly what Draco had told her. This was to move on and marry a great guy, even if that great guy was Ron Weasley. It wasn't that she didn't love Ron, she told herself, and she did, just not in the way she had loved, or loves Draco.
As she entered through the chapel doors, hooking her arm into her smiling father, she faintly felt sick. She nervously looked around, hoping to see that certain face with icy blue eyes, and blonde hair, only to be greeted by the sight of smiling face that looked nothing like him.
The only thing she wished at that moment, and perhaps forever, was that the person that was standing by her side was Draco Malfoy. As she faced the minister, with the man who would be the one she would spend the rest of her life with, she knew that Draco was wrong. Even if she tried to move on, married some great guy who loved her, had gorgeous children, and attempted to be happy, she would never ever be able to forget him, the one person whom she would love forever.
Unnoticed by the rest of the fellow guests, he stayed hidden in the corner, as his vision blurred with tears. She had listened to him, and that fact alone, made his heart twist in pain. However even after all this time, he knew he had made the right decisions. With Weasley, she at least would have a decent chance to start a new and better life than from before. He could give her nothing, and them separating was inevitable. But no matter how much he tried, he could never truly say goodbye.
A/N: Yes! Saying Goodbye is finally finished after many weeks of procrastination and work. I know this is angsty, and that you all probably really wanted them to end together, and trust me so did I, but it wasn't the way I had envisioned it and I felt that this is how the story had to end. Perhaps in another story, I'll make it a happier ending, but for this one, just suck in the angst. Haha, REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW. It'll make me happy person, and we all want a happy author, right…? (: Pssst, the more you review, the more stories I'll produce! So…you know the drill, REVIEW REVIEW REVIEWW!