I mean it this time I promise
It only took those two little words to unravel Courtney Port. She slammed down her phone onto the oak office desk and began pacing in the little office. Those two words, they weren't fair. He knew what they meant to her. He was not allowed to use them. Not now. Not after every promise he had given her for the past three months that he broke. It wasn't fair! He couldn't just waltz back into her life, throwing that smile she had only seen on rare occasions and they be okay. He fucked up too much this time.
Courtney slammed the door that connected the office to the shop, she was worried her father would come in from talking to a costumer and see how worked up she was. She pulled angrily at her red hair and felt her eyes prickle with the same sensation she has felt so frequently this week.
No. No crying. He knows that he has you. She thought angrily. She yanked her curled hair into a pony tail and grumbled how she ruined her hair for the day, the ONE day she tried, all because of him. She could blame him for everything going on.
Courtney sighed and pushed her back to the wall before sliding down. She couldn't blame him for everything. She knew how he was before they got together. He was a player, she was forewarned by everyone in the small school. She thought she was different for him, that they were so broken, together they would finally make a right. But instead she had fallen into a hole of forgiveness every time he hurt her.
Maybe he knew I'd do this.
Courtney set her head against the wall and condoned herself for thinking that, he wasn't that smart. He maybe a manipulating asshole, but he was definitely not that manipulative.
Courtney grimaced and forced herself to stare at the wall behind the desk. Her high school Letterman logo was framed along with every principle award she was ever given. Her father made an extra effort to always promote her schooling, even when it became a fallen priority the last few years.
Courtney heard the sliding metal gate begin to close, and listen as her father turned off the blasting country radio, tied the chain around the door to the shop and walk through the office. His old blue Ford mechanics jumpsuit on and dirty. Courtney gave a tight smile up at her father who looked his usual. A straight face, peppered hair covered in oil, and new scratches from an engine covering his arm. His face broke out into a grin as he looked down at her.
"It's a good day Tatter!" Her nickname made Courtney smile more at her dad. She brought a knee up and lent her arm against it as her dad leant on the office desk piled with paperwork.
"I was thinking take out tonight-"
"The Chinese restaurant is in Port Angeles, dad." Robert Port nodded but continued.
"How about pizza then? There's that one place in Forks thats like, what? Ten minutes away?"
Courtney nodded and gave a wide smile that she knew her father would see through, he did. He straightened his posture, and gave a menacing look down at her.
"It's that Lahote boy again isn't it? What did he do?"
Courtney almost wanted to gruff out a laugh. "He texted me, he apologized and wants to prove it." Courtney knew her grimace was on the border of breaking down.
Robert Port's angry look softened at his daughter's face, he was not good at consoling women. With his youngest daughter, he was not sure how to help her. Courtney was his little tom boy, she only turned into an emotional woman when her ex boyfriend Lahote was in the picture.
"Baby, you know my opinion on that boy. I was nice when you gave him another chance this year, I talked to him-"
"Don't lie dad, you didn't talk to him. You gave snide remarks when he was in the car, that's not talking."
"Don't you blame me for that asshole's shit" Her father hissed. Courtney sighed and looked down, he was right, she was blaming small actions of her father for her relationship problems.
"You're right, I'm sorry. He is just" Courtney paused and fumbled with her hands, as if their demonstration could explain things, "getting to me."
Silence filled the room as Robert stared at his daughter. He was thankful for their relationship, they told each other everything, a fact that ruined his past relationships but he was happy to know what was happening with her. He knew what she was feeling, he could tell by her defeated look.
"Okay Bud, here's the plan. We are gonna go get some smokes, we are gonna smoke like a chimney, we are going to get a pizza, that veggie crap that you love, and we are gonna play cards tonight, Grandma's game. Okay?" He asked, his face back to being serious.
Courtney nodded and gave a small grin. She struggled to get up and moved to sit in the old blue chair that was near her father.
"So, what was the good news with Gabe?"
Courtney nodded as her father broke into the story of the newest car that needed numerous additions to run properly. Courtney leant back against the uncomfortable chair and nodded when needed while she tuned him out to think.
Her relationship with Paul was doomed from the start, the way that they came to be close was horrible, and wrong. Of course when she finally got him to herself it wouldn't be real.
Courtney huddled further into the couch that sat outside at her newest friends halloween party. Her Harley Quinn outfit was store bought spandex and a scantily covered crop top. Her bright red hair was pulled into two pony tails so the only warmth she received from that was her newly trimmed bangs swept to the side.
A girl she had met a few minutes ago sat next to her in an odd mermaid, medusa homemade outfit. Miranda was the first person, Ayala had introduced her to, and Courtney did not want to move from her comfortable spot on the couch to meet anyone new.
"You see the cowboy? He's kinda cute" Miranda commented, Courtney sat forward, the only semi interesting conversation she could hold with medusa was about boys.
"I've always had a thing for cowboys." Medusa giggled, before turning and looking at the the coupled Mario and Luigi beside her who began making out.
"Wanna go to the dance floor? I heard Ayala put chocolate at the tables." Courtney nodded and the two began walking down the small path to the set in dance floor in between the trees that sat a few feet from a hired DJ. Courtney was surprised at the accommodations Ayala had, for a lower income house, her parents must have saved a whole rents worth of money to pay for this.
Courtney lent against the high table a few feet from the floor and looked around, no person was on the dance floor, the DJ played some off techno song even Courtney didn't know, while people bundled together in group.
"What about the hazmat guy?" Courtney nodded towards the tall guy in a yellow suit across from them. Medusa turned slightly and shrugged.
"Can't see his face, so no."
Ayala made her rounds and stopped at the table.
"I should warn you Miranda, Paul, stay away from him. He's a huge man whore." Courtney grabbed a chocolate from the bowl while listening.
"Paul?" Medusa asked glancing around.
"The white masked guy. He is standing near the bumble bee girl. He is a huge player. Stay away, okay?" Ayala acted like she was talking to a child. Courtney glanced down at the short medusa and wondered what kind of girl she was if she had to be forewarned of a guy, like that.
Ayala shouted at someone attempting to go into the cut off studio apartment they had at the end of their yard and left. Medusa immediately began looking around. Courtney sighed and rolled her eyes realizing she was looking for 'Paul'.
"Court,"
Courtney rolled her eyes at the newest nickname she received.
"Yeah?"
"The black button down, has the white mask, him. What do you think?"
Courtney glanced over Medusa, which was easy considering she stood at about five foot. He was leant against the wooden fence in front of the trees. He stood tall, he had dark skin, and a too tight black button up that showed his muscles.
"He's okay." Courtney looked around a bit more ignoring her newest 'friend'.
Courtney was not fond of girls or guys who acted like that. She always had a select group of friends that were weird, and horny, but they never looked for the assholes.
Medusa moved around the table and stood closer to Courtney. She had to bite her tongue to not say something rude to the small girl.
Medusa took off her mask, and showed off the swept to the side bleached blonde bangs, and curly hair died in odd streaks of color. Her white skin seemed to glow by the lanterns that sat on lines above them.
"Can I have him?" Medusa asked elbowing the taller girl.
Courtney almost growled at her antics. "He's all yours." Courtney replied harsher than meaning to.
Courtney glanced up at 'Paul' again. She rolled her eyes when she saw he was staring blatantly at their table, while the bumble bee was talking to him. Courtney noticed the way the girl brushed his arm, and how he didn't react or even looked surprised. Courtney wanted to gag. He reminded her of the guys back in California.
His eyes met hers and she watched as he glanced down at her. His eyes strayed to her laced up combat boots, her tight red and black tights, her crop top showing her tits a little too much. Courtney suddenly wished she brought her leather jacket. She raised an eyebrow at 'Paul', before looking away uninterested. She was hoping, much like her old California friends, that he would take the hint. No such luck.
'Paul' began making his way to their table and Courtney felt the need to disappear.
"Ohmigosh" Medusa squealed, jumping around. "He's coming!"
"No kidding," Courtney grumbled.
"Help me, yeah?"
Courtney stared away from the oncoming 'Paul'. He walked in a way that showed confidence. The word that came to Courtney's mind was 'swag' which made her want to vomit.
"Hey,"
Paul lent his arms against the table, and Courtney nodded at him before looking back at the crowed, looking for familiar faces. Sadly, this was her first outing after her move and she didn't recognize anyone. Even if she did, she doubted she knew them well enough to escape. She had been a loner at the reservation high school until she met Ayala a week ago.
"What school do you guys go to?"
Courtney snorted as Medusa squealed and nearly yelled "Forks."
Courtney listened to the silence and slowly looked over at Paul, his body was angled towards her. He looked at her with a small side smirk as he waited for her answer.
"La Push," Courtney grumbled.
"Yeah, me too. I don't recognize you. I know everyone in La Push."
"No kidding."
Courtney felt a gab to her ribs and wiped her head around to glare at the pip-squeak medusa. She did not sign up for this.
"I just transferred."
"Still, I would have recognized you."
Courtney bit her tongue. She wanted to ask how but did not want to seem interested. Who knows what the midget medusa would do if she thought Courtney was flirting with the man-whore.
"Yeah, I don't really know anyone."
"You know Ayala though, me and her have been friends for a few years." Courtney wanted to ask how that happened but knew Ayala just got a new boyfriend, a senior who was the biggest dork she had ever met and didn't want to cause problems.
"Yeah, met her a few weeks ago at a church thing."
Courtney condoned her words. She knew she wasn't supposed to say how she met Ayala. It was at a group meant for alcoholics family members. It was a sore subject that you never exactly told others. She met her the first week she went, she looked online for a similar group like the one she had in California. The one they held in Forks only had a few kids come every week, but it was something. It was broader, it had all addictions. Ayala's father was addicted to his pain meds, Courtney's, alcohol.
"So your religious?" He asked, his head turned to the side like a puppy.
"Buddhist, but it wasn't that kind of thing."
Paul nodded. Silence filled the group.
"What kind of music do you listen to?" Medusa quipped, probably realizing the conversation was not going her way.
"A few different things, mainly rock."
Medusa squirmed under the silence and the lack of a mutual question. Courtney wanted to laugh at her stupid attempt of conversation, not to mention how Paul didn't even care to ask her back. Courtney's smile disappeared when she realized by him doing that, it really showed what kind of guy he was, to not even make pleasantry conversation.
"I love rock! I'm a big fan of panic at the disco."
"So is my little sister," Courtney snorted at Paul's comment.
"What about you?"
Again Paul stared at Courtney and waited for a reply. Courtney sighed loudly and turned to look at him.
"I'm into some weird shit."
Courtney condoned herself, she should not have allowed herself to be this involved with the conversation. Not only was Paul a type of guy she didn't like, but also the midget was into him. It didn't matter if she disliked her, or had only met her an hour ago, there was an unspoken girl code she felt guilty for breaking.
"Like what?"
Paul gave a wider smirk. Courtney fought to not say the insulting thoughts racking her brain.
"I like older music."
Paul stood up straighter against the table, "Like who?"
Courtney looked surprised at his change in demeanor, it was almost like he forgot to act like an asshole.
"The Five Satins, Guns N Roses, the Eagles, but mainly the Scorpions." Paul's eyebrows shot up.
"Favorite song?"
"Still loving you," Courtney answered immediately. She looked away realizing she was actually conversing with him and ignoring Medusa. The real reason the boy came over.
"So how old are you?" Courtney asked, a fake smile pushing across her face.
"Fifteen"
Courtney's eyebrows raised, she thought he was older.
"Perfect! Med-Miranda is Fifteen too!"
Paul glanced briefly over at Medusa.
"And how old are you?"
"Sixteen, almost seventeen. I'm gonna go get some punch." Courtney announced before leaving the table and walking the small path back to the outside couches, to find the bucket of watermelon punch.
Courtney sighed and lent against the studio apartment. She felt weird. She was upset with herself. She allowed that to continue for too long.
Her phone vibrated, and Courtney maneuvered it out of her waistband.
How's it going?
Courtney felt guilty as she stared at her dad's text message. She almost wanted to call him to go home. This wasn't fun for her, she was not a social person. She did not want to be around these people. She didn't even want to be in Washington let alone a damn reservation.
Great, It's dying down a bit. See you in 30?
Courtney walked back to the dance floor to see, Paul holding his head up against the table and staring oddly at Medusa, Courtney bit back a laugh and glanced around. Hazmat guy looked over and gave her a gloved wave. Courtney gave a half-ass smile before turning and heading towards the street to wait for her dad.
He showed up earlier than she expected, probably to sit and wait and see if she was actually trying.
Courtney didn't have the heart to tell her dad about the party. Her dad stopped by the dirt road with the windows down blasting country, a huge smile on his face.
"Well hello gorgeous! Did ya have fun?" He asked excitedly before leaning over and opening the door. Courtney climbed into their old Nissan truck and nodded.
"Yeah, there was a lot of people from school there."
"Did you made new friends?"
Courtney thought over the only two new people she talked to.
"Totally," she lied, a large smile gracing her face. Her dad smiled and turned up the radio, she sang along to the lyrics as she stared out of the window at the black forest besides them. She didn't feel like herself.
Courtney gave the first real smile of the night when they pulled into their small driveway, saw their now small brick house and a large black dog jumping up and down near their small fence.
The Great Dane jumped up onto Courtney's chest and she held his paws to her shoulders as her baby lent down and licked her face. She pushed him off and scratched his head as they walked into the unlocked house, she finally allowed herself to relax.
Courtney grabbed the pack of Marlboro's off the kitchen counter and lit it while walking to her bedroom. She undressed quickly, happy to get out of the spandex and pulled on an over sized snap-on shirt that her father gave her to work on cars and crawled onto her bed, flipped her small tv on and flicked her smoke ash into the open coke can on her desk and watched some cartoons until she was ready for bed.
Come Monday morning, Courtney dressed in an old Kiss band shirt and jeans, left her wild mane of hair down and walked out of her room. Larry trailed after her dutifully to the kitchen table where her dad smiled at her.
"Do your new friends go to the rez school?"
The redhead sipped out of her dad's coffee mug and nodded, "Some do."
Courtney looked around the house as she tried to avoid her father's gaze, he would be able to tell that she was lying if she looked at him. Guilt racked through her, she felt bad that her being a loner this year, it affected him more than her.
"Okay! I'll be at the shop at about ten, can you walk after school?"
Courtney nodded as she grabbed her backpack off the table and stuffed her books into them. She picked up her keys, and smiled when she saw the colorful ones that symbolized the shop's different doors.
"No problem, I'll see you later." She replied as she leaned down and kissed Robert's head, scratched Larry behind his large stuck up bunny ears and walked out the door.
Courtney's mood vanished once she began walking down the large unpaved roads to the school, it was only a few minutes to reach the reservation's high school, but she knew once she got there it would be like the past few months. She would sit in Mrs. Hosts room, read her book, help grade papers and pretend like she chose to go there instead of being outcasted to the room.
The small school came into sight, and Courtney walked her normal fast pace through the half filled parking lot of old beat up cars, the only type of vehicle's La Push could afford, and into the double doors.
"Court!"
Courtney grumbled at the stuck nickname from Ayala. Courtney turned and saw the brunette near her locker. Courtney came and lent on the one next to her.
"Why'd you leave?" The girl had a face that showed every emotion, at that moment hurt was evident.
Courtney sighed and looked away, "Trouble with dad," She replied softly.
Mentally Courtney hated herself, the amount of lies she was telling in the last few days were astronomical. She was thankful no one on the reservation could tell when her face became more emotionless she was lying.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Did you have fun while you could get away?" Ayala brightened up immediately.
"Yeah! Your parents went all out."
Ayala sighed and shut her locker, "Yeah, it made us tight this month."
No kidding, Courtney thought. Courtney couldn't believe that Ayala would let her parents do that for her, knowing the consequences of their money. Being in their small 'church group' meant they normally had more responsibilities than other teens, meaning they all knew their money situation. Hell, even if she didn't, it was freaking La Push. No one had extra money to be throwing an early Halloween/ late birthday party like that.
"Well! You met Paul! We have been friends since freshman year," Courtney bit back about asking her how that could have happened.
"Hey, your Harley Quinn." A deep voice announced. Courtney felt her stomach drop as she turned around to see a smirking Paul.
"Speak of the devil! We were just talking about you!"
Courtney sighed at Ayala's peppiness. Even back in California where there was endless preppy people, Courtney couldn't stand it, and now, in a small dreary town Courtney was hoping there wouldn't be anyone like that. Sadly, it was one of her only friends.
"We never got to finish that talk about music," Paul commented. Courtney raised an eyebrow at him.
"Why don't you just ask me what my favorite color is next?" Courtney grumbled. Ayala let out a laugh.
"Well I have to go see Mr. Birch, I'll see you at lunch right?" Ayala looked directly at Courtney.
She nodded while giving her a tight smile.
Courtney turned to go to her own locker, but Paul fell into step with her.
"So the Scorpions huh?"
Courtney nodded.
"Nice t-shirt by the way," Paul tried again.
"Thanks."
"What is your problem with me?" He stopped suddenly, Courtney followed suit and turned. A raised eyebrow at him.
"I have no problem with you." Paul mimicked her and raised an eyebrow.
"Liar"
Courtney stood straighter at his words, surprised he noticed. Apparently one person could see through her. It annoyed her it happen to be the player of the smallest Indian reservation on the damn planet.
"Medusa is into you, I'm letting her play with that fire."
Paul laughed, "So you think I'm hot?"
"Ha-No. Not my type."
Paul fell into step with Courtney once again. "So what is your type?"
"For one, I prefer brains over brawn."
Paul laughed as they stopped at her locker, she threw the four books she had checked out into it and grabbed her notebook.
"You should have seen me freshman year, I had a lot more 'brawn'."
Courtney gave a laugh and disappeared into a nearby classroom. She turned and saw Paul lent against the open door frame, he gave a genuine smile before disappearing.
Courtney slumped into the first desk by the door, and let her head fall back against the seat. She was not willing to admit the boy annoyed her the right kind of way. She was not ready to admit there was something about that asshole that she seemed to enjoy. And she defiantly was not ready to admit that he was different than everyone in La Push. Even if that difference was a bad thing.