A/N: So, I had to write a LotF story with girls in it for my English class. And this is it. My teacher found it hilarious, but she's a little...different. Anywho, enjoy the utter nonsense. I enjoyed writing it.

The Lord of the Flies (Revised)

The girls and boy came running at the sound of Ralphina's shrill howl. She had been too scared to fish the conch they saw out of the water, so she called them by howling, which was a very effective way to call them because Ralphina had an extremely loud voice, and no one dared to disobey her.

"Now, I want a report on everyone's work," Ralphina proclaimed as the girls took their seats in their carefully crafted chairs.

"But I have a complaint!"

"Me too"

The one boy held up a pad of paper that said 'ME TOO.'

"Shaniqua has a complaint too." Marcy felt the need to call out whatever the black boy, who they dubbed Shaniqua despite his protests that his name was Kyle.

'MY NAME IS KYLE!!!'

"We're gonna call you Shaniqua until you talk!" Marcy shouted at him.

'I CAN'T BREAK MY VOW OF SILENCE!!'

"Well, break it or you're Shaniqua!"

The rest of the assembly just ignored them as the two continued their heated argument.

"First thing's first." Ralphina said. "How are things coming along?"

"We've completed seven out of the ten huts today," Samantha said

"Complete with woven mats for beds." Erica finished.

"The fire is going strong, with plenty of smoke."

"Great! Maybe we'll get off this stupid island." Marcy paused in her argument with Shaniqua - er, Kyle- to put her two cents in. "Do you realize how many hair and nail appointments I've missed since we've got here?"

"I for one like the outdoors." Jackie stated. "The little kids and I have picked enough fruit to last a week. And we've built a cooler and put cool ocean water in it to keep the food refrigerated."

"Good work, everyone" Ralphina told them absentmindedly. "Now wants got all your panties in bunches?"

"Roberta takes too long when she bathes!"

"I can't help I have a good sense of personal hygiene! Unlike some people…" Roberta gestured at Shaniqua -oops, Kyle.

" 'It's impossible with you females constantly in there!' " Marcy narrated, peering over the boy's shoulder. " 'I don't want to see you people undressed' hang on! I think that's sexist! Shaniqua's a sexist! Get him!"

"Put him in the Cage with Kristin, Jenna, and Mackenzie!" Ralphina shouted with more than a hint of joy as the other girls dog piled a shocked looking Shaniqua -I mean, Kyle- who was frantically trying to tell them that he didn't mean anything sexist without breaking his vow of silence and without his pad of paper, which had been flung off the platform.

They managed to pick up Shaniqua - I'm not correcting myself anymore - who really wasn't that heavy considering all he'd had to eat for three weeks was fruit, cooked fruit, and fruit juice. They frog-marched him to the Cage, which was made from the fallen palm trees from the platform that they didn't use to make chairs. It was eight feet by five feet, and it smelled terribly because they had forgotten about the three girls that were already there. The three girls already in there were there because of various offenses; no one could really remember. In reality, the prisoners were only in there because they were extremely disliked by everyone else.

"We don't tolerate sexists here, you stupid boy," Jackie spat.

"C'mon, girls, don't you think this is a bit extreme?" Simona piped in. "I mean, what he said wasn't really all that sexist. I think you're the sexist ones."

"Put her in the Cage too!!" Someone yelled, amid shouts of approval.

"Wait-" Simona squeaked as a dozen hands shoved her into the small cell. Shaniqua was already in the Cage, and began hopping up and down, pointing excitedly at the ocean.

"What's your problem?" Kristin asked irately from the corner she was sulking in.

"A ship! A ship!" Simona yelped, and darted out the door as the other girls turned to look at the cruise ship that was no more than a mile from their island.

"We're saved! We're saved!" The girls sang and danced as a rowboat from the ship came gradually to their island and finally took them home, even though they were only on a deserted side of one of the Hawaiian islands.

A/N:Well, I hope you liked it. It took me FOREVER to come up with this. So, please tell me what you thought. I'm itching to know what people (besides my teacher) got on it. By the way, I got full credit, potential flamers, so PHBBT.