Why Detectives Don't Wear Kilts
by Raye Johnsen
Detective Conan is copyright Gosho Aoyama.
In answer to the LJ community manycases1truth's Challenge 47: Men In Skirts. Set post-series.
The two young men were standing in Shinichi's bedroom in the Kudo house, inspecting each other's highly unusual attire.
"They say you have to wear them without underwear," Heiji said, adjusting his white button-down shirt. Shinichi gave him a very dirty look.
"Scratchy wool. Without underwear." Shinichi fiddled with the fastening at the hip of the kilt his best friend had brought back for him from his recent holiday in the British Isles.
"A-yup."
"Why did you pick kilts as your souvenirs, anyway? We're neither of us Scottish."
Heiji grinned, a wry twist to his lips. "Because it was this or Scottish mead, and I didn't want Neichan to kill me for buying you alcohol." At Shinichi's flat stare, he added, "It's a specific non-clan tartan, so nobody will yell at us for wearing their clan colours."
The Detective of the East frowned at the Detective of the West. "I just hope the girls don't laugh their heads off at us."
----
Ran pushed her long hair back from her face, sipping on her tea.
"It's good he's back, though," Kazuha continued. "Anything could have happened to him overseas."
"You weren't cheered up by the peace and quiet?" Ran asked, hiding her sly smile behind her cup rim.
"Not as much as I thought I'd be," her friend admitted. "I guess I'm too used to worrying over him." An autumn leaf blew in through the kitchen window, distracting the two.
"Well, it looks like the two of them will be a while. I may as well do a bit of tidying up outside," Ran mused.
Kazuha put her cup down. "Isn't that Shinichi's job?"
"Shinichi would only notice if the yard was infested with explosive gophers."
----
It was decidedly anticlimactic to come down to show off their new outfits to an empty kitchen.
"Where would they be?" Heiji wondered aloud, and then heard the whine of the leafblower. "Outside?"
"I suppose," Shinichi said, and opened the door to the back yard.
Ran saw the door swing open out of the corner of her eye, and pivoted around to face the two young men. Still holding the switched-on leafblower.
Heiji and Shinichi never wore their kilts in public, ever again. Kazuha and Ran were never able to look at a kilt without blushing, ever again. The leafblower got accidentally smashed to pieces when Shinichi carelessly dropped it over the edge of a bridge the next day. And they all swore never to speak of it, ever, ever again.
In public, anyway.