Pain, a supernatural fanfic

Pain

Disclaimer: I don't really do these, cause I KNOW that you KNOW that I DON'T own ANYTHING that has to do with Supernatural, or anything else I would write about….IM NOT FREEKIN RICH! Lmao

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Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

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I sat there, on the bed in the lonely motel room.

Yea, lonely as in no Sam.

No Sam to sit with me.

No Sam to hold me.

No Sam to tell me "I love you" at night.

No Sam to hold and love.

No more Sam.

No more love.

Sam is dead.

Never coming back.

Nothing I can do will bring him back.

I really don't see the point living now.

I cant live without him.

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You're sick of feeling numb
You're not the only one
I'll take you by the hand
And I'll show you a world that you can understand
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I sat there and got lost in the memories.

I don't want to go back to reality.

My memories are better.

Keep me from tears.

Keep me from remembering he is dead.

I don't want to have him as only a memory.

I want him here and now.

I would die just to hold him once more.

I would die just to see him.

Memories seem to be bringing pain now.

How do I escape the pain?

But pain is good.

Pain means in alive.

Pain means that this isn't a never ending dream.

Reality I think is no more.

I can see him.

I can feel his breath from here.

I think I'm going crazy.

If this is a dream I don't want to wake.

He's grabbed my hand and whispered something.

I cant tell what cause he's so quiet.

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This life is filled with hurt
When happiness doesn't work
Trust me and take my hand
When the lights go out you will understand

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Darkness fills me.

I cant see.

But I can feel.

I can feel his hand.

I can feel the warmth.

I cant see now though.

I can see him.

I can see a house.

I cant see others.

I cant see who.

Sam seems to be taking me somewhere.

Where though?

Now I can see the people.

It's mom.

It's dad.

It's mom dad and Sam.

I think I'm going to cry.

But I cant cry.

Hiding the tears hurts when they are putting up a good fight.

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Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
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Pain reminds me that I'm alive.

But what I don't get is why I see them.

If I feel pain it means I'm awake.

If I feel pain it means that I must be going truly insane.

I'd rather feel pain to know I'm alive.

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Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
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I cant feel him anymore.

He let go.

I cant move.

I cant hold my Sammy.

I cant hug my mom.

I cant hug my dad.

I cant move.

And it's now pissed me off.

I want to touch him.

I want to touch my Sammy!

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Anger and agony
Are better than misery
Trust me I've got a plan
When the lights go off you will understand
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I calm when I see Sam smile.

His smile always does that.

I feel mom hug me.

I can smell her.

I feel dad pat me on the back then hug me.

I can smell his leather jacket.

I feel Sam's strong arms hold be like he did when he was alive.

I see nothing now.

I feel no Sam.

But I feel a pain in my chest.

I feel like my hearts been ripped out.

All I can feel is the sharp pain of a broken heart.

All I can see is black.

All I can see is emptiness.

What I see is what I feel.

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I hear Sam.

He's calling me.

I can move.

But I cant see were to move.

It's like I'm blindfolded.

Follow his voice.

He keeps asking me to save him.

He's dead.

How can I save a dead man?

How do I save Sam?

Why save a dead man?

I can see him now.

Only him.

He looks happy.

Like he hasn't seen me forever.

He had a tear rolling down his face.

A tear of joy.

I can see it in his eyes.

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It hurts to see him.

It hurts to know I'll never have him.

He's dead.

He's in my face now.

He looks sad.

Longing.

Lonely and lost.

He smiles and embraces me.

Whispers to me.

And I hold him tighter and tighter afraid to lose something that isn't there.

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I know (I know I know I know)
That you're wounded
You know (You know you know you know)
That I'm here to save you
You know (You know you know you know)
I'm always here for you
I know (I know I know I know)
That you'll thank me later
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I'm wounded.

My heart is ripped open.

I know that I'll die lonely.

I know that I'll die knowing Sam loved me.

But he's never going to be with me again.

I'm doomed to be lost until he saves me.

Do I want to be saved?

Do I want to forget him?

Never.

I only wish to be saved from the pain my heart holds.

And Sam whispered to me that he can.

He's dead though.

Dead.

Dead!

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Pain, without love
Pain, can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
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I know what he whispers now.

I know what he's saying.

He tells me that he will be with me forever.

He says that he loves me more then anything.

He says that he will hold me again.

He says that we will meet again.

He tells me not to be so sad.

He tells me that when I hear 3 knocks and a hand grasp my hand he's there.

He tells me to never forget him.

And asks me if the pain I hold is to much.

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Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Rather feel pain than nothing at all
Rather feel pain

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I tell him that it's ok.

I tell him that I can handle the pain.

I tell him it's the only thing telling me I'm alive.

It's the only thing that lets me know I'm not sleeping.

I tell him that I love him.

I tell him that I will never forget him.

I tell him that I would love to hear the knocks and feel his grasp.

I let him know that I will try to continue on.

I let him know that he's given me a reason to live.

I tell him that I hope this isn't all in my mind.

He looks me in the eye and promises that it isn't.

I try to kiss him.

I cant though.

He says goodbye and disappears in the darkness.

I call for him.

But all I hear is the words echoing.

I see the room appear before me.

I feel tired.

I'm on the verge of tears.

Knowing my luck it wasn't real.

Knowing my luck I'm insane.

I go to sleep trying to escape my thoughts.

I almost fall asleep when I hear 3 knocks.

I smile and then feel a hand on mine.

I look to see nothing.

I cant see.

But I can feel.

I fall asleep knowing that I have the one I love with me.

I fall asleep knowing it wasn't just my mind.

I fall asleep knowing that I will soon see him again.

I will see my dear Sammy again.

That day wouldn't come soon enough.

The day I die will never be close enough.

But knowing Sam is here makes living worth the pain.

'Cause I'd rather feel pain then nothing at all.

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Song: Pain

Artist: Three Days Grace

A/N: Well this song has been yelling at me to write a oneshot about it, So i did!