Disconnect
When Jimmy Novak opened his eyes, he didn't know where he was. He was in an unfamiliar room with an unfamiliar bed. He was wearing clothes that definitely weren't his. What the hell had happened? Suddenly, there was a loud knocking on the door and an accompanying shout.
"Cas, you up? We're heading out in ten."
"Yes, Dean, I am awake. I will be ready to leave shortly."
What the hell? Those weren't his words. Cas? Who was Cas?
Slowly, memories began to creep back in. His thoughts stuttered as he remembered the pain and his daughter and Castiel coming back into him, healing him and keeping him alive. Jimmy was so confused. If Cas is still possessing me, how am I awake?
"What?" Castiel sounded startled. He looked around the room but there was no one else there. Jimmy sent a mental eyeroll in his direction.
There's no else here, moron!
"Where are you? I can hear you and your insults but you do not appear to be…here."
Jimmy felt a jolt of surprise. Could Castiel hear him?
Castiel?
"Yes, that is my name. Who are you?"
It' me. Jimmy.
He felt Castiel freeze. He could tell that the angel was working hard to control himself. But if anyone here had the right to be upset, it was Jimmy, right?
Castiel. Where are we?
"We are in the bunker of the Men of Letters, a supernatural secret society that guards the information about all of the supernatural creatures in the world. Do you remember Sam and Dean?"
Jimmy thought back. Vaguely, he remembered a short, handsome man that waved a gun around while he talked and a taller, puppy-ish looking man.
Yes.
"They are the Men of Letters now. And I assist them."
We. We assist them.
"Yes…we assist them."
Alright. Aren't you supposed to be getting ready for something?
Castiel jumped up like he had been electrocuted. He continued talking to Jimmy while he put on a worn pair of jeans and a dark gray t-shirt.
"Yes. Dean has asked for my assistance in a hunt. He thinks there may be need for an extra pair of hands to wield a weapon."
So…we're going on a road trip? And then a fight?
"Yes."
Awesome.
Finally dressed and semi-presentable looking, except for his hair which still stuck up in every direction, Castiel made his way to the door. Jimmy's next words stopped him for a moment.
Don't tell the brothers about me.
"Why not?"
I just want a chance to see the world.
Castiel slowly nodded and then ran to catch the impala before Dean left him at the bunker. Again.
The car ride was long and dull, not that Jimmy minded. He just liked to be able to see the endless cornfields that were flashing past and the small towns that barely registered the impala flying through their streets. He stayed quiet, enjoying the banter between Sam and Dean and Castiel's attempts to referee. It was entertaining, in a way that only someone who had been previously dead could understand. Eventually, they reached their destination. The town was small, but full of friendly people and Dean quickly picked out a motel. On their way into the room, Jimmy caught Dean checking out Castiel. Jimmy chuckled.
The night was spent doing as much research as possible, which Jimmy found exceptionally boring. He wanted to get to the action.
Eat something. I wasn't to taste food.
"I do not require food."
C'mon, man! Just a cheeseburger. Please.
"Very well, we will find cheeseburgers." Castiel turned around to see Dean and Sam looking at him oddly. He ignored their looks. "We need cheeseburgers."
"Yeah, we heard," said Dean, casting a suspicious glance at the area around Castiel.
They heard us talking, Jimmy realized. But they can't hear me. They think you're going nuts, man.
"I am not losing my mind." Castiel frowned. Dean raised his eyebrows at him.
"I didn't say you were."
Dude, stop talking and get us out of here! I want food, they think you're crazy, and you aren't helping.
"I…I am going to locate cheeseburgers." Dean and Sam watched Castiel leave the motel with clearly concerned looks on their faces.
You're really bad at lying. And shutting up. Did you know that?
Castiel sat in a booth of a diner, eating a cheeseburger and listening to Jimmy talk. He had listened to Jimmy, finally, and stopped answering Jimmy's thoughts when they were around other people.
Oh, man. This is the best thing I've ever eaten. Order another, order like five more.
Castiel acquiesced.
Jimmy and Castiel woke up to Dean shaking them by the shoulder.
"Come on, Cas. Time to go."
They had snuck in after the brothers were already asleep, and Jimmy was taken back to the days he had snuck back in after curfew after a wild night with his friends. Ha had shown the memory to Castiel and the angel had chuckled with him.
"Mmmmmph," was the only reply Castiel gave his human. Jimmy made a decision. Castiel seemed to have let his guard down when they went to sleep. Testing the barriers, Jimmy slid Castiel's consciousness to the back and took his place. Carefully, he ordered his body to get out of bed. It listened. He felt a wide grin break across his face. He looked up at Dean. The human was watching him closely.
"Cas, you alright? You got back kinda late last night…" There was concern in his voice, but also a bit of jealousy. Jimmy quickly got an idea.
"Dean," he said, letting a smug smile creep across his face. "You aren't the only one allowed to seek the company of women while on a hunt."
Dean let out a little gasp that was drowned out by the laughter of Sam, who apparently had been listening while he checked their weapons. Jimmy smiled over at Sam while trying very hard to ignore the look of hurt that flickered over Dean's face. Castiel could deal with that later when he woke up. Speaking of which…
Jimmy felt around in his mind, finding Castiel still sleeping peacefully. Jimmy smiled at him, making sure he was deeply asleep and then got ready to hunt with the Winchesters.
"Damn it, Cas!" Dean shouted at Jimmy, throwing a knife across the room and into the back of the vampire who was trying very hard to bite his neck. "What they hell?"
Jimmy didn't bother answering. He just grabbed another weapon and waded back into the fray. He could tell that Sam and Dean were keeping a close eye on him, gradually becoming aware that he wasn't quite the Castiel that they knew. But he ignored them. He kept fighting. He fought until a sudden pain shot from his shoulder all the way to his fingertips. He looked down to see a knofe imbedded in the miscle and tissue of his arm. Unfortunately, the pain and shock seemed to wake Castiel up.
Wha-? Jimmy! Look out!
Another knife went sailing past him, missing him by inches.
"Thanks," he panted.
Put me back, now. You don't know what you're doing.
"Just let me do this, Castiel."
No. It was hard to tell because of the commotion all around, but Jimmy thought he sounded very worried.
"Castiel. Please."
Just then, the entire situation shifted. As if in slow motion, Jimmy saw a young vampire send another blade spinning through the air, but this time not at Jimmy, but at Dean. Dean's back was turned and there was no way he would be able to defend himself. Jimmy felt a flash of panic go through Castiel and knew he had to save the human. He would save another human for his angel. Concentrating, Jimmy accessed Castiel's beautiful black wings and he flew towards Dean, a half-second faster than the knife. Dean turned in time to see Jimmy land inches away from him, face to face, just as the knife buried itself in Jimmy's back.
Dean's eyes were wide with horror. There was shouting and screams, the sound of gunshots and then everything went still.
"Castiel…"
You saved my human. Why?
"He…seems different. And the way he looks at you…"
Castiel seemed confused. Before he could say anything else though, Dean was back, grabbing Jimmy up from the hard floor and looking down into his face. His eyes were bright with concern and fear and the rements of the adrenaline from the fight.
"Cas..Cas, buddy, look at me."
Jimmy did his best to raise his blue eyes to the bright green eyes of the man who was holding him like he would never let go if he didn't have to. Jimmy managed a smile.
Jimmy, put me back. I can heal us.
"No," he answered both Castiel and Dean. Dean looked confused, but Castiel started to panic.
Jimmy, if you don't put me back, you'll die. And then neither of us will be here.
"You can wait..till my mind is gone…right? And then this body will still be yours." Poor Dean was started to look completely terrified.
Yes but…there will be no more Jimmy Novak.
"It's what I want." Jimmy looked up at Dean, who was starting to panic himself. He looked fairly cute. Jimmy cocked his head to the side and looked Dean in the eye. "I'm not…Castiel."
Now Dean looked angry and confused. "Who the hell are you then? And why did you just kill my angel?"
Jimmy smiled even more broadly at that admission and Dean flushed. "It's me. Jimmy. The knife…meant for you."
Realization dawned slowly in Dean's eyes.
Jimmy, you won't last much longer. Let me heal you.
But jimmy just shook his head. He searched Dean's eyes and found several emotions there. Guilt seemed to be foremost.
"You…sacrificed yourself for me?" He looked so sad. "Why?"
"Castiel….loves you."
Jimmy!
"Shut up, Castiel, I'm talking. And he should know."
Dean looked shocked. "Wait, Cas can hear us?"
Jimmy nodded.
"He loves me?"
Jimmy nodded again. It was getting harder and harder each time. He felt the truth of what Castiel had said – he was going to die.
"I've seen the way…you look at him. And I've seen the way he feels about you. I couldn't let you die. My angel….Castiel…"
It was getting so hard to breathe. Castiel had gone quiet, probably trying to bury himself in Jimmy's head in embarrassment. Jimmy didn't really care. He smiled at Dean and then Sam. He felt his eyes slip shut.
Everything was dark.
Castiel?
I'm here, Jimmy.
Is this it?
…Yes. I want to thank you. For saving my human.
Of course. That was all we ever wanted, wasn't it? To save him.
Castiel said something else, but Jimmy was too far gone.