I do not own Glee but I do own the poems that are used.
Summery: He didn't mean to take it but those bright yellow stars were screaming at him "Read me Puck! Read me!" How could he say no? Set after "Original Song"
Pairing: Puckleberry of course with hints of others
Rating: T
XOXOXO
"Okay I think that's it for today. Good job guys!" Puck hears Mr. Schue finally let them go for the weekend.
Thank the fucking Lord. He's had a long week and was ready to party this weekend. Ever since they won Regionals, Glee has been even more intense since it's reality set that they're going to New York. The practices have been long and painful. They didn't know whether or not to do original songs for Nationals or some really epic song to blow them away, so if they weren't going through different themes each week they were fighting over what they should do. He loves Glee but damn couldn't they just take it down a couple hundred notches? It's bad enough he has to see and hear all the Rachel/Finn/Quinn drama.
He watches as everyone walks out, including Lauren who has wrestling practice to go to and he just sits there for a minute. He doesn't know why he's still with her, yeah the chick is a BAMF but there's nothing there with them besides that. He watches everyone leave but as happy as he is to be done with Glee practice, he's too fucking lazy to move much less drive home. Maybe he'll just jam on his guitar for a little.
He's about to grab his guitar from the floor but something catches his eyes. It was a small notebook with bright yellow stars all over it. That could only mean one thing…it was Berry's.
He's debating on whether or not to just leave it or take it. Who knows it could be a pretty interesting read like a dirty sex journal (not likely but in his experience most prudish girls have very naughty thoughts), or it could be boring school notes, or worse Mrs. Finn Hudson everywhere.
He was actually planning on forgetting the book all together. He didn't really mean to take it but those bright yellow stars were screaming at him "Read me Puck! Read me!" How could he say no? So his curiosity won in the end as he gets up to pick up the small book.
He opens the first page and sees "Property of Rachel Elizabeth Berry" He knew her last name was Elizabeth but he remembers her complaining about how much of a common name it was and how she wanted to change it to Barbara or something so he's surprised she wrote it on here. Actually he's surprised he remembered her middle name at all.
"Must be her diary" He thinks with glee as he turns the page and starts to read.
"Quinn says I live in a fantasy life where me and Finn will happily ever after while I rock the world in Broadway. Usually I wouldn't be bothered by what she says to me because ninety out of a hundred times her words are less than pleasant but this time her words stuck with me. Does she really think I actually believe that I'll get the perfect life once high school ends? It's funny how people find me so arrogant and sure of myself when I have never been more insecure and worthless. I'm tired of feeling worthless, I want to be someone, I want to get my life right and not think so lowly of myself. Finn probably thinks 'Get it Right' is my way of saying me and him will finally work out and we will end up together but I'm no longer under that delusion. Finn and I aren't right together, neither is Finn with Quinn or Brittney and Artie or Noah and Lauren, or Tina and Mike. This is high school, the chances of any of us getting married to each other is forty percent and that's only one couple of us so technically that's less than a six percent since each of us has dated someone else before. I' m not meant to be with a man who doesn't accept me for all I am even I know I deserve better than that. Mr. Schue was right, real love was when someone loves everything about you, even the things you hate yourself. Hopefully one day I will possess a man like that."
Puck stops reading and grins. So she's no longer pining over Finn? That's good, because she's right, she does deserve better and his best friend is a douche to Berry and that shit ain't right. He doesn't like that she thinks so low of herself though. If there's one thing he knows about Rachel is she is going to make it out of Lima. She's more talented than all of them put together. He never really minded Rachel, yeah he said she made him want to light himself on fire but that was only said because he's supposed to hate her, ya know? He's actually known Berry longer than he's known any other Glee member, Finn included. That's what happenes when there's only two other Jewish kids in Lima and the other is Jewfro.
He turns the page and is surprised to see a poem. Guess she's continuing to write after she wrote "Get it right".
"I sing my heart out,
And they're putting in my hands,
But no matter how loud I shout,
They will never understand.
I'm just a small little girl,
With a family of two men.
I'll show you my world,
All you have to say is when.
I want to be special,
So I try my very best,
So everyone please wait,
Because I will not rest,
Until I'm the star,
I strive to be.
No one really understands. What a typical teenage segment, but in reality, it's true. No one will ever really understand anyone, not fully. I never had a best friend that's been with me since kindergarten like everyone else has; having a family of two gay dads puts some parents off, and if that didn't, my abrasive personality had people running. But I love my fathers so I was okay being alone. I had them at every show I ever did, cheering me on, video camera in one of their hands. Friends were always foreign to me until this year. Last year Glee only tolerated me and while I thought I could have counted Finn as a friend, he only used me and wanted to get a scholarship since there was no way he was getting one in football, watleast not last year, maybe him, Noah, or Mike will get one this year since they did so well with a better coach but anyway unless I misunderstand what I've seen and heard in movies, that's not what friendships are about. Friendships are about being there for each other, having someone to talk to and hang out with, someone to tell your thoughts with, or someone to just listen to you when all you're anger boils to the surface. I've never had a friend who wanted to see me everyday or went out of their way to see me just to see me. Sure I've had Artie ask me for help on his scales one day and we had dinner at my house but I'm sure he never told anyone. And maybe I helped Brittney and Mike with some dance moves from an audiences perspective but that's nothing. And sure I helped Sam get home after that bad fall on the football field but that's just being nice. I try and reach out to people but no matter how hard I try they just turn away from me. I want to make it to Broadway to be a part of something even better than Glee I want to finally belong. So I will sing my very best until my voice is hoarse, dance until I can't move my feet, and strive to make a name for myself other than the annoying girl that makes people want to light themselves on fire."
His heart aches for the girl because he knows exactly what she means. No one really understands him either. Yeah Finn's dad isn't around anymore either but he didn't leave by choice he died, whereas his dad used to beat him and his mom until he finally just left them. Plus Finn has Kurt's dad who is an amazing father figure. He doesn't realize just how lucky he is to have the blended family he has. And only Berry would know the true meaning of friendship and how fucked up Finn was to her last year using her for his own needs. It must hurt to think that no one is ever truly there for you while she's been there for every single one of the people in glee and they just treat her like they should be nice to her, not because they want to. Glee is supposed to be all the misfits in the school getting together to actually be themselves in a judge-free environment which is a load of shit. Even Mr. Schue will belittle Rachel's talent and dismiss how important she is to glee club. Without her there would be no glee and someone needs to remind their teacher that. Maybe he'll start hanging out with her more, she is his Jewish American Princess after all and she makes him laugh. He considers her a friend, even when he told her they never were so they never would be. Berry is one of the only people that can force their way into your life and by the time you realize it, you don't want her gone.
He turns the page and reads.
"I am a diva,
Who only cares about herself.
I crave the lime light,
And will do anything to get it.
You're the stud,
Who only wants one thing.
You crave the carnal lust,
Charm any girl to spread her legs.
I am the gleek,
You're the jock,
We're under the school's label
When there's more to us than seen.
I'm a girl,
Who's never felt worth it,
I crave warm affection,
Because I've never had any
You're just a guy,
Who's always felt second best.
You crave to get out of here,
Because everyone says you can't.
I'm a prude fashion disaster,
Whose arms fit perfectly around yours,
You think you're a Lima loser,
But I see you're name in stars.
But I'm just a diva,
And you're just a stud.
I don't know why people don't give Noah the benefit of the doubt. Yes he is 'Puck' the town's bad boy who fornicates (ed?) with married women, got his best friend's girl friend pregnant, and went to juvenile hall, but can't they see he's so much more than that? He is an amazing singer, whose voice has the masculine tone that Finn will never be able to compete with. He might not be the best friend in the world to Finn, but for someone who said we're not friends, he's been the best friend I could ever ask for, and that includes Kurt, Mercedes, and Blaine. Noah and I are more alike than I could have ever imagined. He lets the world think he's someone else that will never get hurt or be brought down, just like me. I used to get a slushie to the face everyday, got ridiculed by everyone about how annoying I am, what a loser I am, how if they were my mom, they'd give me up too and I swore to myself no one would ever see me cry and they haven't even when I spent my whole study crying my eyes out while the Cheerios drew naked pictures of me in the bathroom, while Puck would spread rumors about me, while Karofsky would shove me into a locker. He used to be Puck, but when he joined glee I saw the old Noah that I used to see at Temple on Saturdays with his mother and little sister. He's more than a jock, or a man whore, or a criminal, he is truly extraordinary. He keeps proving to everyone what a true leader is and how much he cares about us and no one really pays him any attention and it sickens me. He's been a better leader than Finn because unlike Finn, Noah has no problems telling people what needs to be done, screw what people think. It amazes me sometimes how great a man Noah has become since freshmen year, he's starting to let go of the bad reputation he thinks he has to keep up with. I wish he wouldn't let Lauren put him down so much though, I don't doubt she is a funny girl but she doesn't have to prove anything to glee, we accept her any way she is. She may be very...headstrong but she's a misfit in this school just like us so I will always welcome her with open arms, unless she hurts anyone in Glee than may God have mercy on her soul I will beat her down. I need to stop talking to Noah, he's making me violet but I guess it's not a bad thing, because I don't let people push me down anymore. I know Noah will make it big, one day I'll walk around New York and see 'NOAH PUCKERMAN' in bright lights, because he's a star and that is one thing I will never doubt."
It takes him a few minutes to be able to think straight. How could Rachel see him so clearly when no one else can? She really was amazing that Berry. He always knew she was special and she cared for him but for her to think so highly of him? He was a better leader than Finn? He's the best friend she ever had? He turned her violent? He deserves to be treated better than Lauren treats him? It touched him indescribably. No one had much faith in him until Rachel started to, maybe that's why they became as close as they did but it's more than that. Rachel Elizabeth Berry is the only person who never truly gave up on him and that shit he doesn't take lightly. He remembers her sending him 'stay safe' cookies in juvie and while he never told anyone, it was that shit that kept him going. When people kept stealing his waffles, he would eat one of her cookies in his 'room/cell' She made him keep going. She wanted him to come back and when he did he knew she was relieved and not just because they had his voice for sectionals. She went to his house the day he got back and brought him welcome home cookies and told him all about the things he missed before she had to go to her dance class. She missed him, even when she was dating Finn. He meant something to her and she means something to him.
She's right, Lauren does put him down too much and he doesn't have to deal with that bullshit anymore. She treats him like shit and he doesn't really want her in the way he wanted Rachel or even Quinn. Lauren is nothing compared to Rachel.
He quickly got up from his seat and ran out of the choir room like it as on fire. He had to go to her, he had to see her! He had to tell her he read her diary and how he does see her! He sees her just like she sees him and it's fucking amazing to be seen.
He gets in his truck and takes the short ride to the Berry residence; he knows she doesn't have dance or vocal lessons today so she should be home. He gets out of the truck with the notebook still in his hand and knocks on her door.
It doesn't take long for her to reveal herself. She opens the door with a surprised smile and he swears his heart fucking melted. There always was something about them ever since that dream he had about her but when it was just them together, there was this…fire between them. A fire that was always too dangerous to unleash because there was always something in their way. Finn and Quinn are out of the way now. Lauren will be soon and when she is, nothing is going to stop them. Their fire, their passion will burn everyone and he could careless if it does.
"Noah, what a pleasant surprise. What can I do for you?" She asks him politely after he doesn't say anything. She wondered what he was doing here, not that she doesn't love his presence but it was just unexpected, usually he'll text her first to tell her what he needs. She's looking at him and can't help but smile into his hazel eyes, they were just as lovely as his arms, if not more so.
He continues to just stare at her. How could she think she's worthless? Didn't she know how amazing she was? How beautiful? How fucking strong she is? She's always taken all the bullshit people have thrown at her and she proves to them that it doesn't matter, because life doesn't end after high school and one day she will make it out of this bullshit town and this will all just be a memory. She took Finn using her playing hot and cold whenever he wanted, Jesse playing her and throwing an egg on her face, her teacher belittling her and using her as an example to the club all the time, and the one place that's suppose to accept her treat her like a disease. She is the strongest of them all.
He lifts up his hand and holds the notebook in front of her. Her face drops and he knows that she knows he read it.
"Where did you…?" She asks quietly and he just wants to kiss her fear away but he knows he can't, not right now.
"Choir room." He finally speaks and she almost winces at how cracked his voice sounds.
"Noah…I…please." Her eyes are pleading with him and he knows he can't hold back any longer.
He pushes his way towards her and kisses her with more passion than he knew he had. Fireworks, grenades, dynamites hold no fucking comparison to her lips on his.
"You are amazing. You are fucking beautiful. You are not worthless and our names are gonna be in lights one day babe, never doubt that." He whispers when they had part to breathe. She looks up to him and her eyes at shining like she's about to cry.
She smiles up to him and holds her hand to his cheek looking into his beautiful hazel eyes that were dark with desire as were hers. Puckleberry wasn't over, it never was. Her and Noah always seemed to attract to each other even when they weren't trying. Noah wasn't second best to her. Finn wasn't the right one for her. He never was, he was just a replacement for Noah. After all they are both good looking Jews.
"It's natural." She thinks to herself as she smiles at him before she closes the distance with him once more as their tongues battle for dominance.
Yeah they might have a less than six percent chance at this ever working out in the end, but if there's one thing Noah Puckerman will never doubt, it's when Rachel Elizabeth Berry worms her way in your heart, she will never leave it. He thanks God for that because he plans on seeing their names in lights one day as they walk the streets of New York together.
THE END
Sorry if this was kinda stupid it was just in my head.