Author's Note: Please leave reviews as I am new to writing fanfiction! Thanks :)

Sherlock,

My therapist said I should try writing to you, that it would help me. She thinks I can move on. She thinks I'll get over it eventually, that I'll forget. I think she's talking bollocks.

It's been a couple of weeks since you jumped. Leaving me here alone. You have no idea how strange it feels saying that. Accepting that.

God, I feel so empty, Sherlock. No one talks about it. As if it never happened. They all either still think you're a fraud - which you aren't - or that I'm going to collapse at any mention of you. And it feels like I might.

There are so so many things I still can't understand. Why, Sherlock? Why? There you were trying to solve a case, puzzling it over, when I got the phone call, the note, and you jumped.

Just like that. Out of my life forever. Gone.

Your brother's been bugging the hell out of me lately. He keeps coming round to check if I'm alright, to see that I haven't done something stupid. Like killing myself.

As if I can't look after myself, anyway. I'm not a bloody kid anymore, I was a soldier, I saw people die right in front of my eyes, and he thinks I can't cope?!

Like he would know. The heartless bastard.

God, why am I writing this? It's stupid, you're never going to read it anyway. Oh, for God's sake, just get on with it, John.

I left the flat, Sherlock. I had to leave the flat. Our flat. 221B. It was just too much. I kept remembering. And it hurt. Like hell. So I moved out. Found myself another flat on the outskirts of London. It's enough.

I still visit Mrs Hudson sometimes. Your name comes up sometimes. Sometimes it feels just like before. I keep expecting you to burst into Mrs Hudson's kitchen, telling us about your new case. I keep turning round towards the door, wishing it could burst open all of a sudden, and you'd be there. But then I remember that you won't be.

That you're gone.

You said once that you'd be lost without me, your blogger. But the truth is... the truth is, Sherlock, I'm lost without you.

Don't be dead. Just don't be.

Yours,

John Watson