Walking the Line

The small leather baseball bounced off of the grass and rolled past the bushes once again. With a sigh, Sonic looked up at the small puffs of cloud as Tails ran off to go fetch their oldest toy.

The grass was neon green, the blades alive and healthy. The sky was a pleasant shade of blue; midday, very light. The occasional flower was present, swaying in the soft breeze, but that was the same as the last time. For as long as he could remember, the landscape hadn't changed one bit. Not a single spot was discolored. There were points during the day where the hills seemed almost peaceful. With all of the hustle back in town, sometimes it was nice to escape to the quieter zones for a bit. But other times, it just felt wrong. It felt too quiet. Too... different.

It was on the tip of his tongue. He could feel it in his bones. Something was not right. He slowly pulled off his glove and licked his finger, probing the air. No, it was still flowing in the same direction, at the same pace, at the same temperature as the many other times he had tried it. The trees far behind him looked just as green as before. Perhaps a little less than his childhood, though.

The air was cool and refreshing, but he was sweating profusely. There was nothing beyond those trees that he hadn't already investigated out of either child-like curiosity or adult-like nostalgia; however, he had felt the presence there too, and many times at that. His eyes widened a little bit in realization. Presence… When that thought crossed his mind, he thought that maybe someone or something could be watching him. He definitely felt like he was being watched.

And where the hell was Tails? If he was gone for much longer, the hedgehog would start to look for him. Anything to keep his mind from wandering down… that path again. Anyways, that boy had a tendency to wander, and sometimes into the wrong places.

The big flashing sign to the River Highway Zone was up ahead. He shook his head and tried to focus on that instead. With a shiver he watched the red and yellow letters dance in the sunlight.

But there was that same damn feeling again. The same feeling of being watched, observed, and being, well, different. He tried to think over the possibilities. Cameras? No, he would see them, since the field he was in was pretty open. Robots? That couldn't be it either, since he had destroyed them along with the robotic metals in the Great Fire, reducing them to gigantic heaps of scrap. And Eggman behind it all. Eggman…

Suddenly the world went blurry. He swayed a little, remembering the last time he had seen his arch enemy; he was holding a rifle, mud wiped in lines across his face, smiling triumphantly as he stared down into the helpless, cowering face of the evil man that had fought with him since day one. The pull of the trigger, the kick of the gun, the small gasp of pain. Silence. He looked at his hands, and the dirt smudged on his white gloves. His hands were numb from the shock that it was over, the immense pleasure of ending it all, just… everything. And at last, below him lay the motionless body of Dr. Gerald Robotnik. Eggman.

Thinking it over, he hadn't felt a thing throughout the entire war. His mind wandered as he kept thinking…. Oh, those were the days. He had hated the war after it had been fought … but he lately he found himself missing it. Life was so simple back then. Eat, sleep, train. Fight and destroy. Shooting to kill, lock, load… and fire.

Simple. However, life was hell now.

His instincts told him a sniper was watching his every move. Every package, a bomb. Every prescription, cyanide. Every stranger, a killer, and in the war, that would save him, keep him alive. But now, in the civilian life, it was maddening. It drove people away. It put innocents in danger. It was the bane of his existence.

He shook with hate. He was more than shaking, he was seizing and seething with the hate bottled up inside him; hate at the war, hate at the world, hate at everything. But he had only loosened the cork. The rage boiled up inside him, his face reddening, his eyes watering, his tightly clenched fists trembling with the urge to just let it all out.

He hadn't done that in years. He made sure he didn't. He knew that if he did, he might hurt, or even kill someone.

Again.

But now, he was losing to himself. It was going to happen. He knew he would get out of control. He knew it would feel good to scream, yell for hours on end and punch and kick and cry and fight and destroy and shoot and kill and murder. He shuddered in delight at the thought. However, he knew it would result in his death. Maybe by being brought in by officials and executed. Probably hanged. More likely, he would die from a heart attack caused by an adrenaline overload. He jerked suddenly, anger washing over him.

Watching with a second set of eyes, Sonic seemed unable to stop himself from breaking down the barrier he had struggled to build between his reckless ways and his own moral being, piece by piece. His head snapped up, searching the hills, searching for the sniper, for something, someone, anyone to just rain fist after fist of cold hard knuckles into their nameless, fearful face, making them bleed, their bones crack, their complexion to turn into a wet, gruesome mound of flesh and blood, and – What the fuck?

A small ball bounced off of his chest for the second time, rolling toward the young Tails as he picked it up again and softly tossed it at Sonic. It hit him once more, but he didn't feel a thing; he was stunned. His entire body was numb. Blinking a few times, he watched as Tails threw the ball once more, hitting him in the shoulder and landing on the ground with a quiet thud. He picked it up and examined it closely as his vision started to clear once more.

Tails grunted in frustration, exhaling heavily. "You suck at this game, Sonic," he said, his eyes watering. He threw his old, worn mitt down onto the grass. The glove was getting too small for him, Sonic thought for the thousandth time. He watched expressionless as Tails sat down, bringing his knees into his chest, his head in his hands. Tails had grown accustomed to Sonic's visits to his mind palace, but every time his mind wandered the hedgehog couldn't help but see Tails struggling to hold himself together, too. Feeling regretful, he jogged across the field and sat down next to his little buddy. How could he let the past have so much control over him?

The road to recovery, it seems, is a longer path than anyone is willing to endure.

Tails was crying now, his tears covered by his arms. Thinking it over now, he wasn't so little anymore. He would be 18 next year, a grown man, leaving school and starting to live his own life. Since he was a kid he had seen too much trauma… and then the war…

"Too many times…" he heard the fox say under his breath.

He was right; it needed to stop. Sonic's mental state was reduced to piles of fractures like shattered glass, but that didn't mean that he could act this way. Looking for a fight, ignoring responsibilities, not trying to get better. Embracing this new thought process had been his fatal mistake, and it led to much anguish. People he loved died, his friends abandoned him, and he was left in the hands of a shaky child scarred forever. It shouldn't have happened this way; it should have been the other way around! Hell, none of this should have even happened. Tails should be looking up to him. He should have his whole life ahead of him, and a great one perhaps, but now…

Everything was brought to ruins.

He often blamed himself for what had happened to Tails during the war. Robotnik had bombed the city's school, and Tails was one of the few to survive it. After the peace treaty had been signed, he had witnessed almost all of his friends crumble to pieces, even Sonic. Over time he had even gained custody over Sonic, deeming him the only sane person left in town, practically. And now the boy just wanted to go back to how life was before Eggman fucked everything up in the Acorn Valley. Before Sonic had killed that two-timing, power crazy no good son of a-

Sonic draped his arm around Tails' shoulder, bringing him in closer. He was also the closest thing Tails had to a family, no matter how mangled a word that was now. Blinking away the prowling angry thoughts, the hedgehog comforted his friend. He may not be little anymore, but he was still just a kid.

Pulling Tails closer, he whispered over and over again, "It's okay, I'm fine, it's okay," when he knew it wasn't. It will never be okay. He never will be fine. But he kept the depressing thoughts to himself.

Tails just shook his head.

"I just wanted to play catch… just, catch…." Tails sighed, wiping his face quickly while his head still shook from side to side.

Sonic sat up straighter.

"I am okay though, see?" he flashed a small smile, keeping his eyes as clear as possible. Tails looked over at him and locked eyes. The kid knew too well. He had seen the bodies left from heartless acts committed in cold blood; he knew how things were. It was sad, to put it lightly. Sonic punched his shoulder lightly. Tails flinched too hard.

"Catch doesn't seem like much fun anyways. How 'bout a race?" At this statement Tails perked up a bit. If anything made the two boys forget about the present, it was a race. Sonic helped his friend to his feet, and the two made their way over to the next zone. Here it could be just like old times, if they tried hard enough.

"Okay, okay. Ready?" Sonic asked, taking his mark at the oak tree they had decided upon. Tails took his a few feet away. "Set?" He continued grinning, and Tails gave a competitive nod. They stood in suspense for the signal to start running. The signal to throw all cares to the wind.

"HALT!" a voice boomed from behind them. Tails stumbled forward a bit, confused by the false start. Sonic felt his chest fall forward, and with a grieved exhale he stood and turned. An Acorn Guard stood before them.

The town had a very strict curfew set in place since the war. It was a precaution, though unneeded – the opposing forces had been wiped out. It was more of a threat to the citizens, because, if you were not in your home by the eighth bell, you were killed on the spot. The curfew was never lifted, however, because the mayor was such a hardass. The fact was that because the guard was here, now, it meant that they had stayed in Green Hills much longer than they intended.

"It's almost time!" the guard said, relishing the fact. Then his mouth curled up into a sneer, distorting his face into an ugly sight. "Better get going. You don't want to end up like the princess. I thought you'd take more care, you witnessing firsthand what happened!" Resentment thundered in his words towards Sonic, and he felt a fight coming.

The fight would last only a few seconds of course, with Sonic's military training and the intense wanting to beat him into a pulp, increased by the guard's needless insults. He remembered what he'd done. He wasn't proud, and it haunted him, made him an outcast. Getting angrier and angrier at the sight of the guard's stupid smirk, Sonic stepped forward menacingly. Suddenly a small hiccup called out from behind him, and he turned. There, on the ground where the starting line would've been lay Tails, struggling yet again to keep himself together. Sonic always jumped straight into violence nowadays, but with Tails nearby, now back on the ground, huddled into a little ball, silently crying, he couldn't let himself succumb to the urges.

"I suppose we better leave then," he said through clenched teeth. The guard had a cruel smile.

"Indeed."

Sonic knelt beside Tails and slowly hauled him up. The sound of fabric shifting could be heard from his left hand, no, a fist, and if things didn't go smoothly, he knew the fist would end up in someone's stomach. With his right hand, he led the delicate child past the guard, the selfish jerk he was, being careful not to squeeze the hand in his. He headed towards the blinking lights and tall buildings, sticking out against a positively glowing backdrop of the setting sun.

The sky was turning a beautiful shade of orange now, reminding Sonic of Tails' own coat. The stars had begun to show themselves, but for now they were only light dots of insignificance. Later, perhaps, they would be beautiful. The guard had gone by then, searching for more people to warn about curfew, probably beaming with pride after he had insulted the scariest thing known to the town. Probably. Tails had recovered a bit, his tears dried or swept away by a shaky hand.

"It's okay," Sonic said.

No it isn't.

Not at all.

Sonic kept his gaze ahead. He felt the sniper's crosshairs on his back, but he did not look. He would not give in.

He heard footsteps behind him. It was the guard.

"You know, this whole curfew thing might not have happened if you didn't come back in the first place. I know the princess wouldn't have wanted this. She trusts people too easily though. We've all seen that by now, haven't we boy?" he said, poking Tails' leg. Sonic just pulled his friend forward and continued walking. The soldier pressed on.

"Yeah, she was a pretty girl. Pretty dumb too, sometimes. I mean, after all, she did allow a Freedom Fighter back into the castle. With the big breakdown of the city and all you'd think she'd be a little wiser, no?"

He could feel the stupid smirk growing on the guard's face. God, he would give anything to turn around and sock the guy. He didn't have to be there. The only thing he was doing was rubbing salt in the wound.

But he had to stay strong. For Tails.

"But it's too late for that now anyway. I guess we'll never know how things would've been, just like we don't know what the stars look like past 8 o'clock now anyways. You don't care 'bout that though, do you?" he poked Tails again.

Sonic felt the heat rise to his face. They were almost out of the woods now, the path narrowing down to a few lined stones. The stones were flat, and had the names of fallen Freedom Fighters engraved with red letters. The first was Bunnie's. Then Arthur's. The counselor's and almost all of team Fight lay here. Only a single blank spot still remained; the one his stone would eventually be placed in. The last stone was dedicated to the last member of team Freedom's, which Sonic had the position of burying himself….

He kept his eyes on the city lights.

The soldier took note of the tension in the air and acted upon it. "The smell of metal seems to still linger here, don't you think? The Robotizer was first grounded here, if I recall correctly. You helped build that, remember boy?" the guard poked Tails' leg once more. Sonic quickened his pace.

"If I remember so well, I believe that old shadow bleeder took down the big machine. Or whatever he's called. Now that's how a hero acts. The old wizard knew how to treat the town; that skunk knew exactly where his loyalties laid and acted justly. If we didn't have those damn laws about saving you dimwitted fighters, I'm sure we'd be better off. St. John would've kept Sally much happier than the likes of you-"

He had had enough. Dropping Tails' hand, Sonic turned on his heels and lunged at the soldier, pinning him against a tree. As fast as lightning he swerved his foot around the guard's and placed a hand around his throat. The soldier didn't fight back, but gave a small chuckle, followed by a victorious glare. Sonic shoved his face closer.

"Don't you dare use her name in the same sentence as that, that traitor's. He did nothing but drag this town to defenseless ruins, and he deserved every second out of Mobius that he got. Along with Angus. All of them deserved to rot in hell for what they did to my wife. Sally was as good as this town is ever going to have and there is nothing changing that. Nothing."

He was breathing heavily now, tightening his grip on the guard's throat. He was well aware that Tails was kneeling on the ground behind him, breathing unsteadily and surely crying, however unwilling. Oh, how he wanted to kill this moron in front of him. It would be so easy. He'd done it to countless others, breathing or programmed. What's once more going to harm?

How selfish.

Sonic felt the weight of Tail's stare behind him as he assessed the pulse of the man in front of him. The guard was now struggling to force air into his lungs. His face reddened, his eyes bulged, but his triumphant glare stayed strong.

With the last of his breath the guard choked out, "If… she was so good… to Acorn Valley… then why did you… kill… her?"

He smiled. Sonic stopped instantly, backing away as the guard fell to the ground. The hedgehog shook out his hand as he walked over to Tails, helping him onto his feet. The soldier struggled to his feet and reached for his weapon, securing it back to his belt as he rubbed his neck. Sonic stormed off towards the small cottage at the end of the path, which was a few meters ahead. Tails watched as the small wooden door flew open, and slammed abruptly.

"See, that guy's nothing but trouble, ain't he? I knew they should've locked him up, right boy?" The footman wheezed, reaching over to poke Tails' leg again. Tails stepped out of the way.

"Windows." He said, tucking his tails down behind his legs.

The guard shot him a confused look, shaking his head slightly. "Huh?" he asked, puzzled.

Tails turned around to face the guard. Even in the dim light of the path lanterns he looked visibly older. His face was bold, his hair grimy, and his figure much more bold than any average teenager. He straightened his back and looked the hunched soldier straight in the eye.

"Sonic didn't stop us from seeing the stars at night. We… have… fucking… windows."

A few seconds later the same wooden door slammed shut for a second time.

Dinner tasted bland. Sonic picked at his meal, a cold plate of peas with a small slab of cheap meat. Aluminum clicked against the plate as he worked, trying to create a picture of…

Well, he didn't know yet.

Tails sat across from him, and it seemed that he had lost his appetite as well. Tear streaks were still visible on his face – he hadn't bothered to wash up. After Tails had slammed the door, he collapsed on the couch in a heap. He didn't say a word, and Sonic knew it was a risk to try. He had lay there for over an hour. Only when dinner was served and Sonic called to his friend to eat had Tails moved at all.

Now they sat less than a few feet apart, and Sonic could hardly look at him. His eyes examined everything, anything to keep that sweet, caring face out of his mind, that disappointed and hateful glare he could feel seeping into him. If he had just flicked his eyes towards the fox, he would see that that was not the case.

The silence, however, was deafening.

"...Thanks for that, out there, by the way." Sonic said abruptly, figuring that his weak attempts at a normal conversation might be rewarded with some response indicating that, at most, everyone was "okay". The hedgehog allowed a quick glance upward, to make sure that Tails had heard him, before dropping his gaze back down to his plate. The lazy clinking of silverware on glass was the only noise for quite some time.

"It was nothing. He was getting on my nerves."

Sonic kept his eyes down despite his relieved, inward grin. They were talking. Finally.

"It wasn't 'nothing'. I-"

"The guy had it coming to him, and that was all. It's not like I choked him or anything."

Oh. That was cold. Deserved, but nonetheless, Sonic felt a small quiver of guilt. He glanced up again, and noticing Tails's glare, quickly took a bite of his now old dinner to avoid eye contact.

He wasn't going to let the conversation die. Another night of silence might just be the thing that would drive both boys out of their minds.

"...You don't usually curse, you know."

The tension seemed to disappear for a second, and Sonic could practically feel Tails' face go red.

"I-I didn't think you heard that part."

"Mmhmm. You showed that guy who's boss for sure."

"I...guess so."

"It was pretty cool." Sonic gave a slight nod to finish his sentence, swallowing once again.

Silence followed.

"I'm sorry for cursing Sonic. I won't do it again."

This came as a surprise. Sonic's head slowly rose up, and he watched as his friend's eyes found the floor. Tails was far too old to feel ashamed for profanity; it was natural for a kid his age to use stronger language. It didn't make any sense for there to be any guilt to any of his actions at all, especially since Sonic wasn't a particularly good role model. He had done much worse, so surely Tails no longer had the need to look up to him.

Or did he?

Sonic would later come to realize that Tails didn't apologize for the sake of his own innocence, but instead for Sonic's sense of authority. Recomposing himself quickly, Sonic laughed a little as he pushed his plate forward.

"It's no big deal lil buddy. You did good."

Tails looked up and met Sonic's eyes, searching for some sign of remorse. The hedgehog grinned, and it was contagious. Soon they were both making jokes about the stupid walk home. It was forced laughter, but it felt almost real. The small burst of happiness was welcomed gratefully. They finished up, and soon they were taking empty dishes to the sink.

Small soap bubbles filled the air as the boys cleaned up after dinner. Although no one talked, it didn't seem so quiet anymore.

There was only one bedroom in the tiny house. It had two piles of messy sheets and several mounds of dirty clothes. After dinner Sonic always sat in the broken recliner by the front door (It made him feel safer, knowing someone was "guarding" the place, although not so much as a knock on the door had ever occurred), and Tails made his way to the other side of the house. Sometimes the hedgehog found him sitting in a corner, reading by flashlight. Others he found him already fast asleep. More and more times lately Sonic had found Tails hiding alone under one of the heaps of cloth, mumbling old stories under his breath.

On this particular night Sonic felt content enough to leave his post at the old doorway and head to the cracked bedroom door. The guard, the only person he could possibly arrive at the door, was no threat. Knocking lightly, he didn't wait for a response in order to enter; there never was one. After adjusting to the dark, Sonic noticed the faint glow of the flashlight bleeding through a covered corner of the room. He made his way over to the makeshift fort, pulled down the little blanket from its position against the wall, and crawled next to Tails.

"Hey there."

A sniffle. "Why are you in here?"

"I thought I'd see what you were doing in here so early in the night."

Another sniffle. It occurred to Sonic that his friend had been crying.

"It's almost eleven."

"So?"

"...I'm doing fine, is all."

Sonic decided not to press Tails for a real answer. He was studying the door now, and it was the second time he had done so. There wasn't much to look at, a not at all interesting sight, but it was a rather tiny room. There were not many things his eyes could dart to without the need to crane his neck 180 degrees.

Tails breathed in sharply. Sonic's head turned slowly, very slowly towards him. Quiet sniffs amplified, sending waves of remorse through Sonic. He felt like he should do something.

So he did something.

Carefully, he moved to Tails. Slowly, he held out his arms and closed them around Tails, seeing if he would retaliate. He didn't. In fact, he continued gasping and sobbing while he turned and embraced Sonic. The warm hug melted away his worries. His thoughts of Tails resenting him disintegrated. For the most part. The fact that Tails accepted his affection comforted him, and he tightened the hug. Little did he know, Sonic would sit there with his best friend, his last friend, until sunrise.

Tails' salty tears fell slowly, wetting Sonic's shoulder, but he'd be damned if he tried to clean them. They rocked, back and forth, deep in each other's arms, crying, hoping, and willing for things to be okay as they drifted into dreamless sleep.

But things won't be okay.

They never will be.