Challenge:
2. A fic involving Danny musing over the workings of his ghost half.
Rules: It must be first person from Danny's point of view. It must take place shortly after My Brother's Keeper, and must mention the events in said episode.
What am I? I really don't know. Am I human? Am I a ghost? Or am I really half-and-half? A freak.
That's what Spectra said. I know I shouldn't listen to her, but sometimes I can't help but wonder if she's right. What am I? A ghost trying to fit in with humans? Or some creepy little boy with creepy little powers? I still remember that, and it's been a week. Word for word. Her taunts echo in my mind, forming doubts and sprouting misery.
What am I? Really. Am I alive? Dead? Or some little freak that has to concentrate to keep himself breathing, yet can do so with effort? I don't belong in either world. Sometimes I wonder if it'll stay that way forever. I hope not. I couldn't stand being shunned by the living and the dead for however long I stay in existence… see, I don't even know how long to expect to live! What kind of freak doesn't know how long they should expect to survive? What kind of thing defies the very laws of nature? Physics, yes, but it's against ever law of nature and logic to be alive and dead at the same time!
By now, the misery and frustration was long since showing on my face, and Jazz came up behind me, laying a hand on my shoulder in a gesture of comfort and asking if there was anything she could do to help. I shook my head and said I was fine. She probably knew I wanted to be left alone, so she nodded, got up, and left.
How does my ghost half work? Is like a full ghost? I know that it's woven out of ectoplasmic energy like a full ghost – I can feel that whenever I go ghost. Energy buzzing, it's the most exhilarating sensation. But is it an entity all it's own? And how does it affect my human half?
I bet Vlad knows. But I won't ask him. He's not quite like me either. He's evil, I'm good. Right?
I've met few good ghosts. Are most ghosts evil? I hope not. If so, I really won't ever fit in with ghosts. I have already given up hope of fitting in with humans – they fear my ghost half, just because it floats and glows. It's a part of me, though, and I won't ever let it go. Even if it does make me a freak.
Whenever I go ghost, I feel the rush of energy, begging to be given something to do, wishing to be released, surging just under my skin. It's like a permanent adrenaline rush.
But Spectra… she nearly killed Jazz. Was that my fault? For nearly not being able to stop her?
And does Jazz know something? If she does, how much?
Does my ghost half worry about these things? This is so confusing. Is this me? Or my ghost half? Or are we really one and the same? I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I don't know anything. Until I find the answer, I do know that one question will ring in my mind forever…
What am I?