SHINANIGANS
Inspired, oddly enough, by a day at work, cleaning out our old files . . . Boy! The things my imagination does when I'm bored!
It was one of those boring, tedious days that the recruits hated. They were currently in a large, empty warehouse that the Survey Corps used to store old documents and paperwork. Some documents were kept forever, but most, such as supply requisitions, inventory records and the like were supposed to be destroyed after a certain number of years. It had been some years since the Corps had cleared out it's old paperwork, so there were a large number of boxes that needed to be emptied and the new recruits from the 104th were saddled with the job.
The girls worked at one end of the warehouse with Hange, and the boys worked at the other end with Levi. The boxes could be reused, so they had to take out all of the files within, and remove any metal clips and rubber bands and toss the papers into a large cardboard bin that would be burned later that night. The work wasn't difficult, but it was boring.
Erwin sat on a box near the boys, going through some paperwork to make sure he wouldn't need it sometime in the future. Honestly, he was just there to do the heavy looking on because he couldn't think of anything better to do. The loss of his right arm to a titan limited what he could do, but he was still the commander. He had just arrived on the scene, and the boys already had half of the bin full of papers. They were keeping the metal clips for future use, but the rubber bands were being thrown away . . . literally.
The tall blond watched in mixed shock and disbelief as Levi removed a rubber band from around a stack of papers and then tossed it haphazardly over his shoulder and onto the floor. Wait! Erwin thought. I must be seeing things! Clean Freak Levi would NEVER just toss something on the floor like that! Erwin's blue eyes widened further as he watched Levi do it again. The clips he was dropping into a small box behind him, but the rubber bands, he was simply tossing onto the floor . . . in fact, all of the boys were doing the same. The stone warehouse floor was littered with rubber bands of all shapes and sizes.
"Levi!" Erwin gasped as another rubber band went flying.
"What?" the captain asked dryly.
"Look at the mess your making!"
All of the boys froze as Levi looked around at the scattered rubber bands on the floor. "So? That's what brooms are made for," was the eventual response. As for Levi, he just wanted to tweak the commander, and doing something out of character was the perfect way to accomplish that. After all, the small captain needed to do something to stave off complete boredom.
The boys giggled and Erwin rolled his eyes and Levi just ignored them, albeit laughing internally. He did so enjoy messing with people's heads! Several minutes went by with the boy's working in silence, the sound of the girls' laughter echoing from the far end of the warehouse.
"I wonder what they're talking about?" Connie mused.
"Us," Levi replied.
"What do you think they're saying about us?" Jean asked.
"Trust me. You don't want to know," the captain answered. "Especially since old Four Eyes is involved."
Several more minutes of silence and it was getting on Levi's nerves. In a move so quick that no could see it, he let loose a rubber band across the bin to hit Eren on the side of the nose. He had waited until Erwin was watching to do it and delighted in the shocked look on the large commander's face.
"Goddammit, Horse Face!" Eren yelled, promptly firing a rubber band and Jean, hitting him in the face.
"Hey! What the fuck was that for?!" Jean yelped angrily.
"You know damn well what for!" Eren snapped back, firing another rubber band.
Poor Connie was stuck in between them and, needless to say, eventually got caught in the crossfire. Another flick of his fingers, and Levi send another rubber band at Armin, who stood beside him. Armin flinched, and immediately shot a band at Jean. After all, who would ever believe that their disinterested and emotionless captain would ever shoot a rubber band at someone?
Within moments, rubber bands were flying through the air in all directions. Erwin's mouth fell open at the chaos Levi had instigated. Levi just continued to work as if nothing was happening, inwardly enjoying the insanity of the rubber band fight he had started and blamed on poor Jean. One rubber band misfired and shot straight up into the air. Levi watched it go up towards the ceiling and then fall back into the middle of the bin before returning to work. You, know. It amazes me as to what I find amusing, sometimes.
While Erwin was distracted by the flying rubber bands, Levi flicked off another, this one hitting Erwin himself on the face. The commander flinched, but assumed it was just a stray from the fight. Then another one hit him square on the nose followed soon by one into his open mouth. Ha! That's what you get for sitting there like a dope with your mouth hanging open, Eyebrows! Levi thought.
Erwin coughed on the invading rubber band, then stood up. "SOLDIERS! ENOUGH!"
The rubber bands fell to the floor and the boys yelling fell silent. At the other end of the warehouse, the girls had peeked around a stack of boxes to see what all of the commotion was about. As they returned to their work, Ymir grunted, "Boys are so immature!"
"Awe, come on, Ymir!" Krista said. "They're just . . . just . . . okay, they're immature."
Back with the boys, Erwin looked at Levi. "Levi, why are you allowing this?" And why in the bloody hell did you start it?
Levi looked around at the now silent boys as they returned to their work. "Our jobs are extremely stressful, so I don't have a problem with them letting off a little steam once in a while as long as they're not hurting anyone. Those little red welts on their faces will be gone by tonight." And it was just so easy to start! Who could resist?
Erwin pinched the bridge of his nose and sat back down. The work continued without further interruption for close to an hour, until a loud belch echoed through the warehouse.
"Ewww! That's so gross!" Krista said, crinkling up her nose.
"I love burps!" Ymir countered. "They're so expressive of one's self!"
"Oh, I agree completely," Zoe Hange gushed.
Back over with the boys, Eren, Jean and Connie were in hysterics. "Way to go, Armin!" Eren laughed.
"I never knew you had it in you!" Jean exclaimed.
"He doesn't anymore," Levi said dryly, his face expressionless.
The boys only laughed harder. I will never understand how he can say shit like that and keep a straight face! Eren thought to himself.
Poor Armin stood there turning a shade of red that seemed humanly impossible. Not to be outdone, Jean let out a rather breathy and forced belch. "That was just sad!" Eren teased.
"I suppose you can do better?" Jean challenged.
Oh, this is gonna be good! Levi thought. And I didn't even have to start anything!
Eren let out one that was slightly louder than Armin's had been, eliciting a round of laughter from the others. Levi just continued working in silence. Connie went next.
"BRAAAAAAAP!"
It echoed brilliantly through the warehouse.
"That was definitely Connie!" Sasha said proudly.
"Are those idiots seriously having a burping competition over there?!" Mikasa asked disapprovingly.
"I could take 'em!" Ymir boasted.
"I could definitely give them a run for their money if I had a beer!" Hange said.
"Ewww!" Krista repeated.
"Oh! Krista! I love the way your nose crinkles up when you're grossed out!" Ymir exclaimed.
Krista just stood there blushing.
Levi looked up at Connie as the laughter died down. "Not bad."
"Thanks, Captain!" Connie said with a big smile.
Erwin's mouth fell open. I can't believe this! Levi is actually encouraging this?! I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised. After all, the man is rather uncouth; what with his shit comments and all. It doesn't seem possible that A clean freak like him would have such an open fascination with human excrement.
Belches began echoing throughout the warehouse mixed with hysterical laughter. The girls worked at their end, guessing which belch belonged to which boy. Even Krista and Mikasa got into the guessing game.
The boy's red faced, teary laughter has slowed to quieter giggles as Armin was trying desperately to bring up another belch. There was no warning at all. No facial expression or movement to indicate in any way what was coming. The ensuing burp was loud; very loud – and long. It was clear and resonated like something that had come up from the culprit's toes and it echoed magnificently off of the warehouse walls and ceiling. The culprit then continued working as if nothing had happened.
"And that, my dear ladies, would be Levi!" Zoe proclaimed with pride in her voice.
The boys and Erwin just stared at Levi in complete and utter shock. Their mouths open and their eyes wide as the shockwaves of the monster belch finally died down. "Holy . . . shit . . ." Connie finally managed to say quietly.
"Gentlemen. We are in the presence of greatness!" Eren said with awe. "How can something so small make such a huge noise?"
"Talent," Levi said flatly, ignoring the jab at his mere 160 cm (5 feet 2.5 inches) of height.
Erwin just sat, pinching the bridge of his nose. Honestly, Levi. Even after all these years, you still manage to surprise me! Little imp!
Silence and order soon returned, if only for a few minutes. The quiet was again broken; this time by a long, loud fart. "Top that, guys!" Connie challenged.
Erwin sat behind him, eyes wide and the other boys broke up laughing. Levi just glanced up at Connie, with his usual bored expression. "Classy." He then turned and walked away.