Preface

This page is a little preface to my story, which is a follow up to the ending of Lost Tribe. It is for all the R/K shippers who have told me various stories of screaming at the TV, frightening spouses with screeches of dismay, and general dismay over the scene with Jen and Ronon after they return from the Daedalus.

To all the readers out there I share this little precursor to my tag to the episode.

I grew up staunchly Roman Catholic. I never smoked, didn't drink until I was of legal age, never stayed out late, never got in trouble. I always did my homework, went to classes on time, and was on a first name basis with all my teachers. I attended advanced classes and thought education was very important.

When I went away to school there was a guy in my class who was basically, the exact opposite. He was by all accounts, the bad boy. He skipped school to party with his friends. He played guitar and sang in a punk band. He rode a motorcycle (even in the winter). He would sit behind me in class and kick my chair... rip pages out of my binder to write song lyrics across the page and hand them back to me. He hardly ever talked, except in passing. Yet he always seemed to be at the same parties and school functions. And he always seemed to be hovering around me like a shadow. He was nice, sure. Wasn't the kind of guy to purposefully hurt anyone. But if one of his friends was in trouble, he'd be there in an instant to back them up, no questions asked. He beat a guy up at a party once who was really bothering me. He was very smart... but never really showed it. He wasn't a hand-holding, kissy-face in public kind of guy.

And as I told myself... not my type.

There was another guy in class, a clean cut type... cute... smart... always in front of the crowd, making people laugh... Girls following him about... including me. He was more my type, right? Went to class, studied, was the student body president.

But meanwhile in the background, there was always the biker boy. I told him I wasn't interested in anything other than being a friend. My girlfriends told him I wasn't interested. He'd just shrug and wander off, but the next day he'd be right back there again. We'd hang out as part of the group, and I'd talk to him if it came up. But I refused to give him anything other than just friendship. Because remember, he wasn't my type.

This went on for a year before school broke for summer... and when I went home for summer... I discovered something.

He wasn't there.

I noticed he wasn't there.

I missed him not being there.

Did I notice that the clean-cut guy was gone? No. But I sure as hell noticed that the biker boy wasn't around. I missed hearing him. I missed seeing him. I missed having him write bizarre lyrics on my notes. I missed him bugging me. I just generally... missed him. It was like having this little hole inside. A piece of me that wasn't complete.

The thought that he wouldn't be there ever again actually, physically, hurt.

So what came out of that realization?

Well... next year will be our 20th anniversary.

He still plays in a band. He still rides a motorcycle (only now I have one, too). He'll still beat the tar out of anyone who goes after what's his. He's swapped football for hockey (and now I play too). He still doesn't hold hands or play kissy face in public... but that's okay. Because he's all mine. And I'll love him forever.

So, my dear R/K fanatics... fear not. There is truth in life, and in life there is truth.

Sometimes we just have to wait to see it!

And now -- on with the tag!

- Nika