WARNING : non-nativ English speaker here ! Please be indulgent (and of course don't hesitate to point out any mistake / nonsense / misused term you would notice.) I'm trying my best !
.
Et s'il y a des francophones parmi vous, high-five ;)
.
Title from Thnks fr th mmrs by FOB
.
. MAKE YOU BEND AND BREAK
.
.
For the third time he walked across the room, wiping his now sweaty palms on his insanely expensive trousers. He closed his eyes, trying to breathe calmly.
"What the hell is he doing…" he muttered for himself, letting his eyes check for the tenth time the clock on the wall.
Never before had his guy been late to one of their evening meetings so far, and Draco Malfoy focused hard on not to worry.
What if he'd been caught ?
Maybe that divination classroom was not the best meeting point after all, even with it being in the Ravenclaw tower - the least watched area of Hogwarts - and being locked almost all week.
But that moron only has to get down from his stupid Gryffindor tower then up this stupid Ravenclaw tower, Malfoy thought. How could he even get caught ? That very moron didn't have to get all the way up from the dungeons, through all that maniac Professor Snape surveillance, through one thousand crazy self-moving staircases and self-closing angry portraits.
How could goddamn Jack Sloper manage to get caught ?
The Slytherin boy closed his eyes again. Breathed again. He sat on the teacher's desk, tilting his head back.
Come on. He's a Gryffindor. He's just pathetically late.
If Malfoy wasn't in desperate need for that freaking potion, he would have left the room right away, leaving maybe a note for said Jack Sloper about his opinion concerning punctuality. And kindest regards, please go fuck yourself.
Seriously.
He ran his moist hands through his perfectly cut platinum hair, and on his perfectly shaped pale face, and waited, waited, waited.
And the door opened.
The boy jumped on his feet, his heart beating in excitement. All his anger just drained as he crossed the room to his long awaited delivery guy, that he felt for a second he could have hugged.
But it was not him.
Petrified as if he just got struck by some malicious spell, Malfoy's eyes widened in absolute fright.
"What the hell ?"
"Language, please" grumbled Hermione Granger as she closed the door behind her in perfect silence.
She then turned to him, with a look on her face that he could not tell was pity or despise. It obviously made his anger come back like a storm, and he really didn't need that right now.
"Okay, Granger" he said coldly, slipping his hands in his pockets with his usual nonchalant attitude "I have no excuse for being here. Just go ahead, take thirty points off Slytherin, and I'll go back to my dorm."
"I don't think so" she answered, crossing her arms without further explanation.
"What ?"
He frowned. Why would she even say that ?
"I said : I don't think so."
"The question was : then, what ?" he replied, impatience starting to spread through his body. Along with that sneaky pain that made him clench his fists in his pockets. Fuck, he really needed that potion.
"Just sit down there and try to calm down a little" she started, walking toward him in the classroom "your nervousness might become contagious otherwise."
"I'm not really in the mood of executing some muggleborn orders tonight" he said, a soft bitterness in his voice.
"Oh you will be, Malfoy, because I know exactly why and what you were waiting here."
The boy froze, his eyes wide open. He cursed goddamn Jack Sloper in every way he could imagine.
That fucking moron really had to get caught by Hermione blind-and-stubborn Granger ?
He tried to look naive, as much as his shaking-and-shivering condition could allow him to.
"What are you talking about, Granger ? I just lost my way."
"In the divination classroom that's always locked at night ? Of course." She took a chair and sat down. "You used to be an amazing liar, Malfoy. What happened to you ?"
Draco let himself fall on another chair, not understanding how he could have trapped himself inside a classroom late at night with Hermione Granger looking down at him.
His body really, really needed that potion.
"So, if you know exactly why I'm here, then, why ?" he asked, trying his best to materialize a smirk.
"Jack Sloper sent me."
For the third time in the past five minutes, Malfoy froze. He narrowed his eyes, unsure he really heard that.
"How come..."
"Professor Binns required him for some improbable chore only he could ask. He's probably stuck all night. But well, I can tell Jack really wanted you to have your delivery because he almost begged me to bring it to you tonight."
"My…"
Malfoy didn't finish his sentence, torn apart between the absolute rage he felt against fucking Sloper for telling the Head Girl about their forbidden transaction, and the slight thrill growing inside him that his potion was actually in the room.
He let his eyes seek discreetly over the sitting body of Granger, wondering where his tiny piece of heaven could be kept.
Anywhere, mostly. She wore a blouse and a jacket, and carried a bag.
"But why you ?" he finally asked, after a few seconds of just trying to realize what was occurring.
"We're pretty good friends, as you seem not to know." She ran a hand through her curly hair. "And, I don't know, he trusts me I guess. Like friends do."
Malfoy frowned again. He was exhausted, okay, and his brain was set to self-sabotage because of his huge withdrawal, but still he was not that naive to believe Hermione the Head Girl could break all those rules carelessly, even to please a good friend of her.
What did she have in mind ?
"Was Sloper right ?" he asked.
"About what ?"
"To trust you."
She let her lip curl in what really looked like a smirk. Malfoy didn't know in which parallel universe he had ended up.
"Maybe" she finally muttered. "Will depend on you."
"I won't be the one giving him away, if that's your question" he chuckled, trying to grab back the dominant look.
"Me neither" she said. "I gave him my word."
"So we have a deal" he said, reaching for a little purse overly full of galleons he then threw away on the floor at her feet. "Keep the change, Granger. My pleasure."
The girl bent to grab the purse and shove it into her bag with a gesture so slow Malfoy felt his jaw clenching.
He asked with a very patient voice. "Can I have my potion, now, maybe ?"
"Maybe" she said again with a smile, and that got him up on his feet.
"You don't even have it, right ? You're playing me !" he growled, almost feeling ants in his fingertips and toes. He was starting to feel dizzy because of the withdrawal, and his growing rage did not really help.
"I do have it, Malfoy, come on. I'm not a liar" she said with an overly calm voice, reaching slowly in the pocket of her jacket for a tiny bottle containing a silver liquid he just knew too well.
As soon as the flask appeared, Draco grabbed his wand by reflex and accioed the precious object to him. Hermione, still sitting on her chair, hadn't moved a muscle.
A slow warmth flew through him as he felt the bottle between his fingers, convincing himself it was real. He would have closed his eyes and thank all the gods for his relief if only the flask would open.
Malfoy immediately raised his eyes to the girl in front of him, still on her chair, actually smirking at him.
"Okay, Granger : what the fuck ?"
"What ? You got your bottle."
"Haven't your brightest mind come to the conclusion that maybe I needed what was inside?" he growled, his hands shaking even more.
"Maybe. That may also be why I locked it with a charm only I know how to undo."
"You bitch. So that's why you're here."
"Maybe."
He took a deep breath, and after a few angry steps he was right in front of her, looking down at her amused hazel eyes with an aggressive calm.
"What do you want from me, muggle girl ?"
She was looking up at him with slight joy, and got up on her feet to face him properly.
"Apologize for every single mean things you ever told me" she said simply. "Including this one."
"Are you serious, Granger ?" he giggled with despise. "Is that really what your plan is about ? Blackmail ?"
"Maybe."
"I'm not apologizing to any of the things I have said or will say to the people of your… kind." His grey eyes looked at her with disgust. "That was just the truth."
"Okay, have fun with your locked up potion then" she said to him cheerfully, and turned around to walk toward the door. But his voice stopped her.
"Wait. You're really leaving ?"
"Do I look like I'm not ?"
He bit his tongue. She was dead serious.
"You know that I could torture your brains out and leave you half-dead on the floor of this fucking classroom for pissing me off like that ?" he said, his voice being pure ice.
"I also know that someone with the guts to do that doesn't talk about it first" she threw back, her voice a growing menace. She walked back the few meters separating them and hissed "You don't have any guts, Malfoy, because you know I hit back and harder. So apologize now and you'll be free to fuck your body up all by yourself."
He scowled. All he wanted to do right now was to smash her pretty face against a wall and leave her in tears. And blood. And teeth and hair and every little piece of her spread everywhere so he would never see her again.
God, he hated her.
And he was dying for his fucking potion.
"Alright, smartass. I'm sorry" he muttered too low.
"About what ?" she asked with an unbearable smile.
"About everything."
"Everything what ?"
He rolled his eyes, trying not to push her away in anger.
"The mean things I could have told you about your… birth. That was inappropriate."
"So, my blood is just as worthy as yours ?"
Fuck no !
"Yes it is. You're not any kind of… mud-filled human-being."
"And the muggleborn witches and wizards could be as good - sometime better - as pure-blood ones ? You agree to that ?"
He rolled his eyes again. In all his misfortune, he thought, the only good point was not being witnessed.
"Yes…"
"Yes what ?"
"Yes, muggleborn can be good at things and fuck, Granger, come on, you squeezed me enough for tonight don't you think ?"
"Not even close to what I'm expecting from you, friend" she answered, her voice surprisingly cold.
He spread out his arms in indignation.
"Are you fucking serious ? You're planning to keep me locked up here all night on the only purpose of me sucking up to you ?"
"Oh, you feel locked up ?" She gave him a friendly smile as she showed him the door. "I'm very sorry for that. Please, go."
He really could have smash her tiny skull against the desk this time. Again, he bit his tongue to remain calm.
"I need that potion Granger, in a way you just cannot imagine. So please, end your little game and let me get my painless body back."
"If your pride is less important than your withdrawal, then no problem" she said, shrugging her shoulders. "Tell me I'm not disgusting."
"You're not disgusting."
"Tell me I could be worth dating."
"You could be worth dating" he muttered, letting his eyes wander around with an obvious boredom.
"Even with the fact I'm a muggleborn ?"
"Even with that fact, yes."
"Even by a pureblood ?"
He looked at her as one of his eyebrows raised, a little smirk curling up his lips. "If you planned all this shit only to confess me your…"
"If I liked you the slightest bit, I would never on earth allow you to slaughter your own soul with this poison you seem to love, boy." She smiled "I don't give a fuck about you, Malfoy, I just want justice."
That unexpectedly hurt. Deeply. He gave her a look so injured and full of hate even she couldn't hold on his gaze. She asked again, after a few seconds.
"... even by a pureblood ?"
"Yes, you're worth dating, even by a pureblood. As long as it's not me" he spat, turning his back to her.
In a way he couldn't explain, she seemed kind of sorry. She suddenly asked. "Why do you do that to yourself ?"
"It's not part of the blackmail, Granger."
"It is now. Answer me."
He sighed, irritated. Would this despicable girl ever leave him alone ?
"Dreamless Sleep potions are pumpkin juice for me, now. And Wiggenweld as useful as water. This one actually works, and that's all I'm asking for." He looked back to her. "You don't need further details."
"And what if I want further details ?"
"And what if you go fuck yourself, mudblood ?" he yelled, almost like a wounded dog she would have tried to touch.
She froze, her lips barely open as if she was about to say something. Or yell back at him. Or cry.
Nothing happened for a few seconds.
"I'm sorry" she finally whispered.
"I don't give a fuck."
His eyes were stuck at some imaginary spot, somewhere on the ground, and he was balancing from one feet to another to lower the pain flowing through his body.
She raised her voice again. "And you're sorry for calling me a mudblood."
"No, I'm not."
"Yes you are, because you were upset and were not thinking what you said."
He paused, risking an eye at her. She was looking at him with what looked like a hopeful patience, and he didn't know how he was feeling about that.
But his body was in moaning pain.
"Ok, I'm sorry, that may have been harsh. But…" He ran a hand through his hair "Don't make me talk about my condition, or…"
"Or what ?"
"Or I'll end up biting your skin off" he answered simply, his voice rough.
She shivered, knowing it was absolutely true. Letting her eyes drop on the little bottle he was rolling nervously between his fingers, she sighed, muttering.
"I cannot imagine being stuck in such a desperate situation."
"Good for you."
"You've enslaved yourself to this poison, do you realize it ?"
"I fucking do, Granger, I didn't wait for you to enlighten me."
"I could be asking you to do anything and you would do it, just to get your shot."
"I would indeed" he whispered, resigned. "And your opinion about it doesn't really change a thing."
She met his grey eyes, an illegible expression on her face. She seemed up to one of her completely absurd plans.
"Ok." She just said. "I would be a fool not using it to my advantage, wouldn't I ?"
And before he could protest - because, that was exactly what she had been doing for the past fifteen minutes, right ? - she added with a tough tone.
"Unbreakable vow to me that you'll never ever speak ill again - or even give a single look of despise - on any muggleborn, ever."
He raised a shocked eyebrow.
"How about no ?"
But that look she gave him, her body already half-facing the door, that look she had on her face that just said you want me to go, then ?
That look got him.
She was strength and calm and authority, and he was just itch and shiver and exhaustion and pain. He felt absolutely powerless, at the complete mercy of any of her will. And that was kind of frightening.
Or was it restful ?
And here he was, almost down to his knees in front of the mudblood he hated most in the entire world. He did vow, and he did wonder who he had become.
"Good." She said. "And oh, since we're here" she added with a touch of jubilation "why don't you give me something to help my little organisation ?"
"The house-elf freeing bullshit ? Are you kidding ?" he asked with a chuckle that was more of a desperate sight.
The pain was tiring.
"I guess it's a yes" she giggled, accioing his high-priced wallet he didn't even made a move to hold back.
Was the pain really that awful ? Was it really worse than having to be the absolute little bitch of Hermione the mudblood Granger ?
It actually was.
"I know you're having the time of your life but please, make it quick Granger. Or get ready to carry my dead body to my parents" he muttered, not even sure himself that he was kidding.
"We're almost done" she said, jovial. "Just two more things. First…" she handed an open hand to him "... give me your wand."
"My…" he started with indignation, but she took it away before he could even think of a protest.
Draco Malfoy was wandless in front of Hermione Granger. Best night ever.
Could this get any worse ?
For what seemed an eternity, nothing happened. She was just there, looking up at him, with her face showing nothing else than calm. What was her dreadful mind thinking of ? What was she plotting inside her twisted soul that would eventually give him some killing blow ?
She suddenly moved back a few steps, and Malfoy just happen to knew he had to follow along.
So here they were, her back against the wall of the classroom, his body in front of her as he struggled to keep his head from falling forward. Totally worn out, he asked with a sorrowful exhaustion "... and your last command ?"
At what she met his ash grey eyes with pure determination.
"Kiss me" she said.
Malfoy's heart missed a beating.
What ?
He wanted to burst out into a despicable, hurtful laughter. But for some reason he couldn't.
How dare you ask that to me ? Are you really that evil ?
But the absolute calm in Hermione Granger's eyes was keeping his voice muted. And his soul. And every square inch of his body that was just frozen, waiting for her to cancel her command.
What she didn't.
"I hate you so much…" he hissed in a resigned whisper as he leaned over to her.
Her lips were curved into a slight smirk, but at the second he brushed it with his own her mouth just stood still.
Did she close her eyes, too ?
Come on, he thought with a mental sigh. Muggleborn lips were not half as sweet as pureblood ones could be.
Right ?
He tried to step back, a strange warmth suddenly brushing the inside of his ribcage, but Hermione grabbed his neck with both her arms and pulled him closer in what looked, felt like a warm hug. She hold him like this for a few seconds before whispering, her mouth to his ear.
"Why do you hurt yourself ?"
Draco's nose was lost somewhere in her curls, that smelled like cinnamon and apples and rain, and he tried to pull back again, for he was feeling his anger grow, but her tiny arms were somehow stronger.
"Get off me" he complained almost silently, but she didn't. "Fuck off, Granger" he tried again, but she held him tighter, and tighter, and she started over "tell me, please, how can you do this to yourself ? Why ?"
He growled and closed his eyes, she insisted.
"Why do you hurt yourself Malfoy ? Let me understand why. I want…" but he cut her off with a second kiss. Deeper, more powerful, trying to leave her breathless.
He wanted her to shut up, just to shut her beautiful mouth up. He wanted to hush her up to perpetual silence so he would never hear her voice again, and "shut up, shut up, shut up" he was growling between the kisses he gave her with a ferocity growing every second.
His body pressed against hers, she was trapped between him and the wall as if he was the oppressor. As if he was the one keeping her here against her will, the one devouring her soul with hasty hunger.
The strange warmth inside his ribcage had grown into an avid and burning fire that made him cup her thighs and lift her and pin her up against the wall, that very wall that made him feel like he was the one in charge.
She curled her legs around his waist with almost the same desperate urgency her fingers grabbed his ash-blond hair, the same desperate urgency he let his lips kiss up the edge of her jaw, the line down her throat, the bound of her too-much-covering blouse.
"Why ?" she groaned softly as he started unbuttoning her shirt with his teeth. "Why do you have to suffer ? Why ?"
"I've been through hell and back, muggle girl" he mumbled, licking her tasty skin in a way that made her shiver. "And back to hell again." He licked and sucked and kissed her perfect breasts, and, ignoring the gasps she was rewarding him with, he added "and here you are, impudently in my way of finding a painless sleep, and I just wish I could tear your soul apart with my bare hands."
At that he bit her in the neck, deeply, out of anger. He bit her so hard she let out a cry of pain and pleasure and fright, and she dug her nails like claws in the skin of his neck and his shoulders, and he bit her again for he wanted to eat her whole.
"Why ?" she let out again between groans. "Why do you…" but again he silenced her with his own mouth, and if his previous kisses had been savage, this one was pure fury.
"I hate you so much" he almost cried as he bit her lower lip to blood, and "fuck you Granger, I hate you, fuck you" and her tongue was his, and her knickers just got rid of and "fuck you, go to hell, I hate you" as he was inside her in frantic moves, feeling the absolute wholeness and warmth of the girl he despised and needed most in the entire world.
And that firework that exploded inside him, that firework of insane soreness and deadly pleasure, of total loss of any control he ever had over himself, that firework got him mental and serene. Whole. Or empty.
He pressed his forehead against hers after that, panting, his nails still dug into her thighs as hers were into his neck. Time had stopped, maybe, for God knows how long.
"Better ?"
Her tiny voice was glass tinkling in a cotton-wrapped silence. He opened his eyes after what had seemed an eternity of rest.
"Fuck off" he just answered, his breathing finally back. But he couldn't hold the corner of his mouth from curling a little. Better he was, actually. For real. She didn't need to know it, though.
As he let her slowly get to her feet again, she whispered with a voice almost shy.
"I lied to you… earlier."
"I think I can live with that" he drawled sarcastically as he put back his shirt inside his pants - with an extra effort not to meet her eyes. But he had no idea what she was referring to.
He was about to ask her more details but before he could speak, she extended her arm to him and for a second he felt his ribcage burn for he was thinking she was reaching for his hand. But instead she shoved it into his pocket and pulled out the little flask.
The flask, that fucking flask whereby all of this had happen.
"Would you open for me, please ?" she asked at the tiny bottle, which executed her demand in a small click.
Just had to ask to it nicely, huh ? So Grangerish… he thought with a roll of his eyes.
Eyes that she met with hers in a questioning look.
"Do you still want it ?"
He was surprised that he actually hesitated. But he immediately grab back a jaded look.
"Sorry to tell you this Granger, but you're not that good. I still won't be sleeping tonight."
Without a word she dropped the bottle - along with his wand - in his open hand and took off. Just like this.
Watching the door close in perfect silence again, he cringed, as he had never felt so stupid before. But he gave his head a shake to clear it.
Fuck her.
He emptied the flask bottom up. The pain and burns and all the shivers disappeared like some god just blew them away. For a second, he sighed in relief.
But as he started walking back to his dorm, he wondered how in the world could that fucking potion not work properly anymore, for he was still feeling his ribcage somehow crushing the inside of his chest.