Konoha Gakuen: Baka Teme! by Kinoo Kyuu
Pairings: Sasuke x Naruto, Seme x Uke. Onesided Most Characters x Naruto. Many others to come.
Warnings: R for future lemon. Sakura-bashing, filled with yaoi goodness. If you think you're on the wrong side of this fan fiction, then I suggest you hit the back button before it's too late. No, really, I'm being serious.
Disclaimer: MINE! I'll NEVER surrender! -chased by Kishimoto and Sasuke-
Hello, hello. Kinoo speaking here...
I am very excited to present my first ever written SasuNaru FanFic. I hope that it's not going to be bad as it is my first try. And yes, it's going to be a small series.
So uhmm, please sit back and enjoy!
Chapter 1:「 これ殻始まる！」- From now on, this is the beginning!
"... UCHIHA SASUKE!"
Indeed, what a beautiful way to start a morning.
Yep, that's sarcasm, in case your pitiful brain doesn't understand.
Apparently, my honourable self is called back to the office.
Whatever. Let's skip the naming introduction because as you know, my name has been 'sweetly' shouted by the god-damn-mother-fucker-shitty-big-boobs principal; Tsunade, the old hag.
Hn, she hates being called old but who cares?
It fits her.
And...
She IS old.
Okay, so she may look naturally younger than the age she's supposed to be in but, well, I like mocking her because that's how I get my source of entertainment.
And yet it is also an easy way to see heaven. Or maybe, in my case, hell.
Anyways, we both just CAN'T get along. If a question about why we dislike each other is asked, there shall be no answer, just keep it in mind that I like to stay the way it is now.
Forget about her, we'll see her soon anyway.
Okay, so I am currently the most gorgeous teacher in this Konoha Gakuen, best school in the country, and 19 years old.
I am a genius, and I am also the youngest teacher in the school. For now, at least.
I am the main math teacher, but I also teach one block of P.E. and one block of Science. (1.)
People find my dark orbs, my jet black hair, my pale skin, my macho body, and my other perfect features attractive.
Of course, no duh, I'm an Uchiha and, I know, I'm awesome.
Just so you know.
I drag my lazy feet across the hall, ignoring the drool of some fan girls and fan boys that looks at me in such a way that I rather not talk about.
There I am, towards the awaiting, balls-breaking future I am about to experience and shudders, hoping to keep all my body parts together when it's finally over. (2.)
I take a deep breath, turn the knob, and open the door, revealing a frustrated, brown-eyed, blonde woman on a big chair holding a glass filled with sake on her left hand.
"What is it, principal?" I say, as I try to ignore the fact that she is trying to eat me alive with that glare of hers. A glare that almost wins over mine; the Uchiha Glare.
The glare works on everybody else but Tsunade.
"Where is your report?" She firmly replies, as she smiles grimly. She cocks her head toward me and I swear I could see a glimpse of fire in her eyes.
"What report?"
"The one you're supposed to hand in to me yesterday morning."
"Oh, that one. I've sent it to you yesterday, via e-mail..."
The fuck is her problem?
"... Shit." She murmurs. She calls me to her office for a completely different reason. I have some guesses, and is about to reply, but decides to keep my mouth shut.
She sips her sake, and turns her chair around, facing away from me.
"Is there anything important you'd like to discuss with me or not? Because I have a pile of math tests I have yet to mark and my students are 'annoying' me to get it done," I say, breaking the spur moment of silence.
She turns her chair around and stares at me sheepishly.
"What did you say to Haruno, Uchiha?" In case you're stupid, this 'Haruno' person is my 'fellow' teacher. (3.)
"… Nothing."
"Uchiha, I'm warning you. That was an order for you to answer truthfully," she clenches her teeth. Have I told you that she is completely and utterly insane? No, I guess not.
She needs to get her blood-pressure checked, cause MAN; she's got it quite high.
I'm still not answering.
"Uchiha, I'm waiting. Trust me, whe-"
"I told her to get her big, ugly forehead out of my classroom." I answer quickly, not wanting to get anything thrown towards my direction.
"Uchiha, don't be ridiculous! You yourself know that she is not exactly the most pleasant person to be around, but at the very least, be nicer to her!" She fumes. "She is one of the best chemistry teachers I've got so far in this country and I intent to keep it that way."
"Sure. I'll keep that in mind as long as she promises not to bring her stupid, idiotic, pink head into my life again," I mumble, whispering the second part to myself.
"You better," she says. "Anyways, I didn't make you come here to do my anger-releasing ritual. I have a very important task for you to do. You dare mess up, I'll castrate you." (4.)
I shiver, remind me to make a mental note to myself that I have to keep my manhood safe and out of her mind...
"... Okay. What is it?" I ask, still shivering slightly from the threat and yet also, trying hard not to show any curiosity. Uchiha's don't do curiosity.
"Well, my darling little nephew, Naru-chan, has just finished his school and is aiming to be one of the teachers here. He is going to be a student teacher and I have put him in your class." She sighs.
Why, out of all teacher, ME? Can't she put him in Orochimaru's or something?
"Believe me, I wanted to put him in somebody else's class but I have to put him in yours because math is his major. And no, I am not putting him in Orochimaru's, so don't even think about it," she replies as if she read my mind.
"... Okay. Can I go now?"
"Yes. Yes you may," she sighs again. I turn around and open the door when I hear her say something in a low tone and dangerously, "Oh! And you better not rape my Naru-chan."
I close the door and sprint to my classroom. And with that, she has left me questioning.
What the hell is that supposed to mean?
1.) The schedule is based on my school system. Day 1-Day 2 kind of thing. 4 blocks each.
2.) Balls-breaking... LMFAO. That's my creation.
3.) Sakura-bashing it is. There are lots to come and sorry for the people who likes her. I'm actually quite okay with Sakura, but looking at her still reminds me of those days where she keeps hitting my Naru-chan. And anyways, I need to have somebody to torture...
4.) I really like Tsunade! She is so overprotective towards our little Naru-chan! Possible Sasuke-bashing? LOL.
Hahaha, so what do you think? I'd like to hear your comments or even constructive criticism. I'll definitely try to improve and fulfill the needs of my readers! I promise to take it to heart! :)
Please, do review! It makes me update faster and try even harder to make the next one an even better chapter than before.
Goodbye for now & thank you for reading this chapter!