A Comedy of Errors or the Twisted Realities of Severus Snape
Warning: reading disclaimers is bad for your health, and will result in a loss of time better spent reading the good stuff. But, since you're already reading this, it's not ours, ok? J.K. made it; we just sorta. corrupted it. It's out of character, it's out of control, it's. utterly pointless, but damn funny, so long as you're not a whiny little git who gets uppity about student teacher relationships, OOC stories, or Gaelic cursing in any form. I'd suggest suing us, but we have no money. Flames, however, are welcome, because we can't afford matches to light our cigarettes, and damn are we in need of a smoke.
This wonderful tale of romance, pirates and monkeys was created as part of a Severitus meets WIKKT challenge. Kermit, if you please. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now, bugger off, frog. This is our first fanfic. Yay us. I'd say be gentle, but we probably really don't deserve it. Thanks, and enjoy the insanity.
The rules: (please read, it'll help you understand the story better. honest. As the narrator, would I lie to you? Well, maybe you over there in the corner, but everyone else is pretty safe.) 1) The first rule of fight club is that everybody fights. Or something. 2) No running in the halls 3) No hexing first years. They're slow, there's no challenge.
4) Wands should never be used for nose picking. Y'know what, keep them
out of
your body at all costs. Believe me, splinters are a bitch, and your
best friends will never let you forget it if they have to snap on some
latex to help you out of a. prickly situation.
5) No hiring Peeves the poltergeist to scare the first years. There's
no challenge, see rule three. Y'know what, pick on your own grade, you
cowards!
6) Don't run with wands. Like knives and scissors and goldfish, it
never ends well.
7) No exploding first years. We mean it this time. Oh, sure, it was
funny the first eighteen times, but it's getting old now, and the
parents are starting to complain. Not that we listen, but it's still
annoying to clean the splats off the walls. 8) It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious. 9) There is no spoon.
10) Streaking is forbidden in Quidditch unless you're drop dead
gorgeous, and let me tell you, you're not. So keep your knickers on,
unless you're Snape. Then just keep McGonagall's knickers on.
11) Writing fanfics is hazardous to your sanity. We should know. We're
insane.
Oh, damn, wrong rules.. (Do not read if you get uppity about spoilers. I warned you. Nooo, don't read this, it's bad, it's wrong, it's meaningless!) Hermione and Snape must be having a relationship Snape must be Harry's father Both relationships must be a secret from the general population of the school/ wizarding world for the majority of the fic. Other rules apply, but I'll be damned if I can be bothered writing them.
Now, lastly, a word from our sponsor: GO YOU BIG RED FIRE ENGINE.
Warning: reading disclaimers is bad for your health, and will result in a loss of time better spent reading the good stuff. But, since you're already reading this, it's not ours, ok? J.K. made it; we just sorta. corrupted it. It's out of character, it's out of control, it's. utterly pointless, but damn funny, so long as you're not a whiny little git who gets uppity about student teacher relationships, OOC stories, or Gaelic cursing in any form. I'd suggest suing us, but we have no money. Flames, however, are welcome, because we can't afford matches to light our cigarettes, and damn are we in need of a smoke.
This wonderful tale of romance, pirates and monkeys was created as part of a Severitus meets WIKKT challenge. Kermit, if you please. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now, bugger off, frog. This is our first fanfic. Yay us. I'd say be gentle, but we probably really don't deserve it. Thanks, and enjoy the insanity.
The rules: (please read, it'll help you understand the story better. honest. As the narrator, would I lie to you? Well, maybe you over there in the corner, but everyone else is pretty safe.) 1) The first rule of fight club is that everybody fights. Or something. 2) No running in the halls 3) No hexing first years. They're slow, there's no challenge.
4) Wands should never be used for nose picking. Y'know what, keep them
out of
your body at all costs. Believe me, splinters are a bitch, and your
best friends will never let you forget it if they have to snap on some
latex to help you out of a. prickly situation.
5) No hiring Peeves the poltergeist to scare the first years. There's
no challenge, see rule three. Y'know what, pick on your own grade, you
cowards!
6) Don't run with wands. Like knives and scissors and goldfish, it
never ends well.
7) No exploding first years. We mean it this time. Oh, sure, it was
funny the first eighteen times, but it's getting old now, and the
parents are starting to complain. Not that we listen, but it's still
annoying to clean the splats off the walls. 8) It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious. 9) There is no spoon.
10) Streaking is forbidden in Quidditch unless you're drop dead
gorgeous, and let me tell you, you're not. So keep your knickers on,
unless you're Snape. Then just keep McGonagall's knickers on.
11) Writing fanfics is hazardous to your sanity. We should know. We're
insane.
Oh, damn, wrong rules.. (Do not read if you get uppity about spoilers. I warned you. Nooo, don't read this, it's bad, it's wrong, it's meaningless!) Hermione and Snape must be having a relationship Snape must be Harry's father Both relationships must be a secret from the general population of the school/ wizarding world for the majority of the fic. Other rules apply, but I'll be damned if I can be bothered writing them.
Now, lastly, a word from our sponsor: GO YOU BIG RED FIRE ENGINE.