It was late at night and the moonlight entered through the bedroom window of Rangiku's apartment. The moonlight illuminated the entire room. On the tatami bedroom floor, Japanese sleeping bag. There Rangiku and Toshiro were engaged in a state of deep intimacy. A symphony of orgasmic sounds rang throughout the apartment unit. This would have caused both next door neighbors to violently knock on their walls and scream at them to knock it off with that noise. One neighbor would have savagely knocked on the door and demand they both come out so he could scream at them to get a hotel room. Not tonight. Fortunately for them, both next door neighbors were on vacation so the thin walls were of no concern to Rangiku and Toshiro. Tonight, as it had been for the past two weeks, both would be taking full advantage of this opportunity.
Toshiro was ferociously kissing Rangiku's neck, while she was lost in a sea of ecstasy. They were engulf in each other's bodies. Rangiku woke up from her orgasmic state and saw a smartphone on a selfie stick hovering above them. She could see the camera lens and her reflection on it.
She let out a bloody murder scream. Toshiro stopped kissing Rangiku's neck; instinctively and immediately turned around to see the smartphone above them. He was irate to have their privacy violated in this manner.
"Shiro, he's got a camera! Get him!" She shouted as she pointed at the smartphone and covered her astonishing, well-endowed bosom with her other arm and hand.
"Get over here, you faggot! Or I'll kill you!" Toshiro yelled as he jumped out from their bed and chased the being. He chased it across the apartment unit, and all the way outside. It was simply too fast for him and it got away.
Toshiro cursed under his breath. He suddenly realized he was naked and quickly and stealthy returned to their apartment unit.
"Did you catch it?" Rangiku said while wearing the bed sheets and still in shocked at what had just occurred.
Toshiro went over to the TV, turn the volume all the way up, and went up to Rangiku.
"No, it got away. Put some clothes on. We have to ram sack this place." He said into her ear.
"Why?" Asked Rangiku nervously shaking.
"Because I got a feeling we're being watched."
Later that same night, two men were waiting in a park. Both look to be in their mid-20s
One of them was pacing back and forth, while the other one was sitting down on the park bench looking at his smartphone. A park light near the bench provided lighting that gave off an eerie and paranoia feel to the scene.
"It's going to be 2 A.M." He said.
"I know. He said he would be here. Just give him 10 more minutes." The other man said.
Suddenly, a rustling could be heard coming from behind the bushes behind the park bench. Both men got up ready in case it the situation was about to turn hostile.
"Ayo Drake come help me swag this kid up!" Said a voice coming from the bushes.
"Tupac, it's that you?" One of the man replied.
Out of the bushes a figure carrying a selfie stick appeared. Both men were shocked.
"It's just a talking stuff Teddy bear pretending to be a lion!" One of them exclaimed.
"Who set us up?!" The other one demanded.
"Nigga, nobody set you! Imma 'bout to blow yo mind with my footage and collect muh $300G's we discussed over the phone. And I am NOT a Teddy bear. I'm a lion!" Shouted Kon.
"If you're our source, let's see the footage." One of the men said.
Kon handed the smartphone with the selfie stick, and both men gathered to look at the screen and one of them pressed play to start the loaded video.
Their faces became red as a tomato at what they saw and heard. They heard orgasmic moans and saw Toshiro and Rangiku in their most intimate moment.
"It's that a foot long?" One of the men asked in shocked.
"He's really a freak of nature!" The other one responded.
"That rack defies the laws of gravity!" The other one noted in astonishment.
"Of course it does. She's a Shinigami after all!" Replied the other.
The video suddenly ended. It was only one minute long, but it was enough to grab their full attention.
"It's only a minute long. We're not paying $300K for a minute long footage!" Said one of the men.
"Nigga, you think Imma show you da whole thing?! This a preview! You gotta pay before you can press play! I got hours of footage from different days. I bugged that place like Dateline's To Catch a Predator ! I got the footage in standard definition, full HD, 4K, IMAX 3D, and was going to get it in VR, but my assistance bounced on me last week. He said he was going to Lawson's to get some snacks and food. Fool never came back. So what format do you need it?" Asked Kon while rubbing his hands with glee.
Both men were shocked to hear the level of sophistication of Kon's operation.
"Full HD is fine. We can print the best screenshots from that. I can see the headline now: Sex, Lies, and Videotape: Shinigamis Fully Exposed. We'll run it as exposé series. We're going to blow the lid off the entire Soul Society. It will be the biggest, if not the biggest, scandal in Soul Society's history." One of the men said.
"This edition might be the biggest seller. We got that video about the Renji guy who would throw his boxers on stage in idol concerts in Akihabra that we will run in the next edition. We're going to make a fortune from all of this!" Said the other man with avarice in his eyes.
"Playa, throw an extra $80G's, and I'll give you the text messages!" Kon said with the smoothness of a street hustler.
"Text messages?" Both men asked with a look of incredulousness.
"Tupac don't play, mug Nigga!" Kon said as he showed them some of the text messages.
There were suggestive in nature and sometimes explicit.
"Here's your money maker." Said Kon with a mischievous look on his face,
Both men's faces became a dark red after seeing a text message with a picture. It was Rangiku with a seductive smile with her tank top pulled up fully exposing her stunning, gravity-defying assets. The text simply read: "Shiro, wanna keep me company? The neighbors aren't here." Toshiro replied: "Be there in 10 minutes, babe!" It was sent two weeks ago, and Kon had recorded all those events that had happened throughout the entire two weeks.
"Dude, you got a deal!" Said both men.
"Yeah, Boi!" Shouted Kon. "I'll see you two playas in 3 days. Same place, same time, and bring the cash. Make sure no one follows you." Said Kon.
Both agreed and soon parted their separate ways. The deal was on.
The next day, Rangiku and Toshiro were across town. Both were lying on their backs at the steep part of a grassy hill near the banks of a river that flow across town. They decided to skip school and try to resolve the problem at hand.
"I feel so violated." Said Rangiku.
"Well, we found everything. So, we don't need to worry about being filmed anymore. I just can't figure out how all those bugs got in." Wondered Toshiro.
"Kon was always a perv, but I didn't think he would stoop to this level!" Rangiku angrily said.
"We underestimated him. Now we need to find Kon, those videos, and make sure they haven't been uploaded online." Remarked Toshiro.
They both sighed. The wind blew across the hill and the river, and for once, despite the last few hours, both felt at peace. Toshiro turned towards Rangiku. He saw how radiantly beautiful she looked as the wind blew her long, silky hair.
"I love you, Rangiku." He said.
"I love you too, Shiro." She said.
They both began to engage in a passionate kiss.
They suddenly stopped.
Rangiku stood up. Toshiro stood up as well.
"What's wrong? " He asked with a concern tone.
"Shiro," she said in a seductive voice as she leaned foward. He always loved it when she talked to him that way. He would immediately melt like ice in the Sahara. There was nothing he wouldn't do for her when he heard that voice. Rangiku grabbed Toshiro's hand and placed it on her stomach.
"You're going to be a father." She said.
"WHAT?!" Toshiro shouted with a confused look.
"I'm pregnant." She said.
Toshiro fainted.
He slowly opened his eyes and was greeted by the sight of Rangiku. She looked ravishing.
"Shiro, are you okay? You fainted after I told you I was pregnant." She asked with look of concern.
"Yes, I'm fine. I just don't know how this happened. And it's all of a sudden." Said Toshiro.
"Shiro, don't pretend you don't know how it happened." Rangiku said with a mischievous smile.
"What do you think we've been doing for a few months?" She said.
"I just feel confused about the whole situation, that's all." He said.
"Confused, or you don't want to take responsibility?" She said angrily.
"I didn't know I was pregnant until two days ago when I got the test results. I was simply waiting for the right time to tell you." She continued.
"No, I'm just confused with what's going with the whole Kon situation, and now this!"
"I knew it! You men are all the same! You just want to do a pump and dump and move on to the next chick! You were my first time, Shiro, now accept responsibility! She shouted. She looked irate.
"Rangiku, calm down! Look, I'm not going to run away from this, okay? I'm just…I'm just..."
"You're just what?" She demanded.
"I'm afraid I may not be a good father because I never knew my own! I never knew both of parents. I simply don't know how to be a father." He said with a sad look on his face.
"Oh, Shiro." She said as she hugged him. "You'll make a great father! I am afraid too, you know. But this is something we both have to face together. We'll learn as we go." She said with a smile.
He looked at her in amazement at her wise words and kissed her.
"Marry me, Rangiku. I want you to be my wife for as long as we live." Toshiro said with a determined look on his face.
"Yes, Shiro! I will! I didn't know you were such a romantic."
"I didn't know you could be so persuasive."
"But first, let's get Kon and make him pay!" Said Rangiku with a determined look.
Toshiro looked at her grateful that he had caught such a beautiful busty babe as a wife.
"Ichigo should be home in a few minutes. We'll go to his house and say that Kon has been acting more strangely than usual and needs to be sent back to Soul Society for evaluation. Otherwise, he might turn into a Hollow." Toshiro said.
"You think Ichigo will fall for it?" Asked Rangiku.
"Trust me, this dude got cat fished three times — twice by fat chicks, and another by a fat dude. He'll fall for anything." Remarked Toshiro.
"No, I haven't seen Kon. Why?" Asked Ichigo.
"Ichigo, we believe that Kon's recent erratic behavior might be due to an infection he contracted from a Hollow." Said Toshiro in a serious tone.
"Seriously? Is it contagious?" Asked Ichigo
"No, not in the beginning, but if we don't find him soon, it will be. All he has to do is bite you and you can turn into a Hollow." Remarked Rangiku.
"Whoa, man! Shouldn't we contact the others and let them know what's going on?"
"No, we don't want things to get chaotic. We're one of the few Shinigamis that have seen an outbreak like this. The others lack the experience and wouldn't know what to do. We're counting on you to calls us if you see him. If he's saying crazy things, he's contagious and you need to calls us immediately!" Said Rangiku.
"Yeah, yeah, you can count on me I'll be on the lookout!"
"Don't be nervous, Ichigo. He can sense that, so stay calm. You'll be fine."
Ichigo turned pale.
"Relax, you'll be okay. Just call us and we'll take care of the rest. And remember, don't tell the others about this. We don't want them to panic." Said Toshiro
Ichigo, nodded in agreement and still pale as the Pillsbury Dough Boy.
They left Ichigo's house and walked two blocks, making sure they weren't being followed before they went into an alley. They burst out laughing.
"Did you see the look on his face?!" Laughed Toshiro. "You were great, Rangiku!"
"Thanks, Shiro. You think he bought it?"
"He got cat fished by fat chicks and a fat dude, of course he bought! Now, we just have to find Kon."
Rangiku embraced Toshiro and looked lovely into his eyes.
"You're amazing, Shiro." She said.
Toshiro wrapped his arms around her waist. He loved the way she was pressing her beautiful body against his own.
"That's because I have an amazing woman." He replied.
They began a heated exchange of kisses.
"Shiro." Rangiku said seductively.
"Let's go to my place." Responded Toshiro.
"Are you sure your place is not bugged?"
"No, I tore that place apart, and bought a bug detector. We can even double check when we get there."
"But the neighbors?"
"My next door neighbor moved out to follow his job, and the other neighbor went to America on vacation. Plus, most of my floor is vacant because people moved out. So, now that we have conceived," he placed his hand on her stomach, "we could still, you know..." Said Toshiro with a mischievous gleam in his eyes.
"Lead the way, then." She said with seductive smile.
Kon slowly opened to his eyes and his vision began to adjust. He was greeted by the sight of Rangiku and Toshiro. He immediately realized he was unable to move from the neck down, thanks to a paralyzing spell Rangiku put on his body. He also realized he was been held in a hotel room.
"Did you enjoy the nap, Kon?" Toshiro asked in a sarcastic tone.
"Because it's going to be the last thing you enjoy if you don't tell us exactly what we want to know!" Said Toshiro as he punched him.
"Ow! That hurts! What's wrong with you, man?" Replied Kon.
"Kon, we're not joking. If you don't tell us the truth, he's going to kill you." Said Rangiku in a serious tone. "We're not playing."
"Like, I said I don't know whatch you talkin' 'bout Willis." Replied Kon sarcastically.
"Don't Gary Colman me, you moron. The tapes. Where are they? And have you uploaded them online?" Asked Toshiro.
"I don't know where they are, and maybe I did, or maybe I didn't uploaded online." Replied Kon while giggling like a school girl.
"We wouldn't want to see them online, now do we? You're careers might get ruined. On the plus side, you might have accidentally stumbled upon a new career. So, it's not a total loss. Especially, since you two are pretty talented. And you, Rangiku, have a fine body!" Remarked while salivating and licking his lips.
Toshiro grabbed him and began to chock him.
"You know, what? I'm going to enjoy this because even if you did uploaded them online and ruined our careers, I still get to kill you." As Kon could be heard gasping for air. "So, it's not a total loss, now is it? He said in a sadistic tone.
"All… rig..ht" He said as he struggled for oxygen. "I'll…te…ll…y..ou."
"Talk, and it better be good."
"No, I haven't" he said wheezing "uploaded them online. They're inside the air conditioning vent in Ichigo's classroom."
"Did you make copies, or uploaded them to a cloud system?"
"No way, Nigga! I'm old school! Those clouds can be hacked or experience problems were your entire data could be lost. And I didn't make copies! What I have, is what I have." Replied Kon.
"Who were you planning to sell them?" Asked Rangiku.
"Sell them?! Who said anything about selling them? I wasn't going to sell them!" Said Kon as his voice was breaking.
"Come on, Kon! We weren't born yesterday. It's obvious what you wanted to do with them. If you uploaded them, you don't get any financial benefit. But if you find a buyer, you could be getting a good price. After all, you said we had future careers in the industry and I had a fine body." Replied Rangiku sarcastically.
"That was a joke. Seriously, you guys are just amateurs!" Replied Kon nervously.
"Then, why did you film us if we are such 'amateurs'? Was it for your own demented pleasure? You know what's a joke? Your dead body in a dumpster." Said Toshiro with an evil grin.
"Yes, I did it because I'm a freak!" cried Kon.
"No, you did it for the Benjamins! Now who are the buyers? Tell us, or it's your pathetic, lifeless body in a dumpster!" Replied Toshiro.
"All right! I'll tell you, but please don't kill me! It's these two dudes from Soul Society. They're not Shinigamis and they run a newspaper, Soul Society's The Inquirer. They're like a gossip newspaper and they're planning on running your tape and other Shinigamis' stories as an exposé series." Said Kon.
"Go on."
"I looked in one of their newspapers because Ichigo picked up a copy. They had an ad that said they offered cash for any tips and leads. So I went out looking for juicy leads that could pay the big bucks. And that's when I stumble upon you and Matsumoto making out in Ichigo's room while he was away on vacation."
"Son of a" muttered Toshiro. Rangiku simply rolled her eyes and blushed in embarrassment.
It happened during summer vacation when Ichigo and his family had gone to spend a week in the countryside. Toshiro went over to Ichigo's house to get the latest video game Ichigo had borrowed from him, but never returned. Toshiro decided to use his powers to get inside the house and open the door. Once he was able to open the door, he went inside and played the video game. A few minutes into the game, Rangiku texted him asking where he was. So he told her he was at Ichigo's place and she came over uninvited. She couldn't let him play the game in peace, and one thing lead to another. One minute, they were arguing. The next minute, they were rolling on the floor passionately making out. Then, they were on Ichigo's bed French kissing. Next thing you know, all their clothes are falling to the floor and they are going all the way. By time they figured out what had happened, they were asleep from exhaustion. Unbeknown to them, Kon was hiding in the closest, and from a small opening, he saw the whole thing. He didn't recorded it, but he now knew who he had to spy on to get the juicy story that would lead to big bucks.
"You guys were the real freaks! On Ichigo's bed, of all places! And his bed sheets!" Yelled Kon.
"We washed them afterwards, you moron!" Answered Rangiku with a look of annoyance.
"Yeah, you did. While you guys were doing it, like they do it on the Discovery Channel. On top of the washing machine!" Replied Kon.
Rangiku and Toshiro were now flushed with red on their faces.
"Maybe, it's you guys fault for the mess you're in!" Said Kon.
Toshiro grabbed Kon and slammed him against the closet door.
"Listen, and listen well. You are going to help us catch these dudes, or it's your dead body." Said Toshiro.
"But, but, but" Replied Kon nervously.
"It's either you, or them! What's is it going to be Kon?" Asked Toshiro.
"Ok, I'll do it. Just don't hurt me anymore, please." Said Kon with a defeated look on his face.
They went to school were they found all the tapes exactly where Kon had said they would be. Kon agreed to meet the two men as they had originally planned. When the day arrived, Toshiro and Rangiku were ready.
"You're staying." He pointed at Rangiku. "This is a man's problem to solve."
"That's funny, you never said that to me when we were battling Hollows." Replied Rangiku in a sarcastic tone.
"That's an order! You hear!" Toshiro said.
Rangiku looked at him angrily.
"I don't want to lose my future wife and child." Said Toshiro.
"I don't want to lose my future husband and father of my child." Replied Rangiku.
"Your safety is more important right now." Said Toshiro
Rangiku grabbed Toshiro and passionately kissed him.
"Come back to me alive." She said with teary eyes.
"I will." Said Toshiro as he grabbed her and passionately kissed her.
He ran and turned to wave back to Rangiku. He could see her face was bright red. That kiss had made a deep impression on her.
[Martika's Toy Soldiers plays in the background]
The day of the meeting had arrived. It was 2 A.M. at the park, and destiny was in the air.
Both Kon and the two men arrived at the same time.
"Yo Tupac! You brought the goods, 'cause we brought the cash!"
He opened a black carbon fiber briefcase to reveal $380,000 freshly minted bills were inside of it.
"Yeah, mug Nigga! I got the stuff!" He held up a small backpack and opened it to reveal the tapes. Both Kon and the man with the black carbon fiber suitcase began to walk towards each other. A rustling coming from the bushes could be heard. They both turn to towards the bushes. It all happened so fast.
Toshiro came up from behind the man with the suitcase to slash him in half. Blood splattered everywhere. He didn't even say one pathetic whimpered. The other man, in shock at the whole scene, quickly ran as lighting. Toshiro caught up to him with no problem.
"Please! Don't hurt me!" He begged for his life.
"Why should I spare you? You're not a Shinigami and yet here you are, visiting the World of the Living!" Toshiro said with defiant look.
"I got an authorization form! Really, it's all here!" Said the man.
Toshiro took the paper from him and looked at it. He laughed. The man turned pale.
"How stupid do you think I am? This ink was discontinued five years ago! This is definitely amateur hour!"
"Please, spare me! It was all the other guy's idea! I was simply going along with it and I didn't know it was all illegal, I swear!"
"Under section 5 article 8 of Soul Society's law, you are in violation of traveling into the World of the Living without proper authorization. Punishment is death." Said Toshiro calmly.
"NOOOO!" yelled the man as he ran away. Toshiro simply raised his sword and turned him into ice. He then slash the newly frozen man a couple of times. The man was broken into millions of pieces of ice. When morning came nothing would remain of him. Kon was throwing up near the bushes after witnessing all that had happened.
"You got what you wanted, and a deal is a deal. We square now, right, playa?" Said Kon nervously.
"Not really." Said Toshiro
"But we had a deal!" Cried Kon.
"You forgot one thing, Kon. I don't leave witnesses. Ever." Said Toshiro with an evil grin.
"NOOOOO!" Yelled Kon as Toshiro drew his blade and slashed him. It all happened so fast.
The next day, Toshiro went back to Soul Society and told Central 46 all that had occurred. They immediately raided the newspapers offices and shut it down. The management and some of the other employees were put on trial, found guilty, and executed. The rest, were giving lengthy prison sentences. Many were amazed at the speedy reaction of Central 46, however, they didn't know that some of its members were going to be exposed in the upcoming editions. Thus, they quickly moved to resolve the matter. Permanently. Central 46 found out about Toshiro's and Rangiku's predicament and decided to ignore the matter. As long as they would immediately get married, they had no problem. Toshiro and Rangiku decided to wed in secret in order to avoid the speculations that would immediately occur if it would be known to the public. Especially, in light of the recent events. So, when Rangiku started to show she was pregnant, everybody was shocked. And when they heard they were married, they were even more stunned. Rangiku gave birth to a healthy baby boy. Everybody congratulated them on the birth of their first child. Ichigo finally figured it out why his bed sheets smelled like it had been washed when he came back home from summer vacation.