It was really hard to get Qrow Branwen drunk. Contrary to popular belief, he wasn't actually as much of an alcoholic as he acted most of the time, especially when on jobs, but that being said, his flask wasn't just for show. Years of abuse to his liver meant that his tolerance for alcohol was very high, and combining that with the fact that huntsmen could hold their liquor better than civilians means that the amount of alcohol it would take to get him beyond the constant buzz he had was enough to kill normal men. But he could still do it.
Qrow generally reserved that level of drinking for really bad days. The kind of days where you need to just blackout and hope that you forget whatever you did or heard. He gets those far more often than he should. Of course, nights like that have consequences, and drinking liquids that are just as likely to ignite because of the high proof as they are to kill you via alcohol poisoning always have repercussions.
The first time he tested his limits he was drinking with Tai during his bachelor party. The first one. Generally the hangover would make him feel like his head is on fire, and his vision would give him the wonderful impression that he's looking through a fishbowl. Basically, exactly how he's feeling right now.
Qrow gingerly opened his eyes to that familiar sensation in his skull, and slid his legs off the bed into what approximated a sitting position. He'd normally start with a drink alcoholic or otherwise, but as usual when it came to what he referred to as "real hangovers", his head was in too much pain to think straight. He began to try to walk, but found that for some reason it felt like the rug was going out of from under him. He quickly shifted his feet to just stand perfectly still until he could get his bearings, then began to walk unconsciously to the bathroom in the dark.
As he did so, his mind began to reorder his thoughts, and he expended some aura on quelling his headache long enough to think. Geez, another one of those nights… He thought to himself ruefully. I wonder what I tried to drown away this time he thought with morbid curiosity. He stumbled slightly on the linoleum tiles of the bathroom, and winced as he turned on the lights.
He looked out the door and could vaguely make out the shape of a figure on the bed, though his eyesight was still adjusting to the light. He shut the door as quietly as he could. Okay, person in the bed, and…I am not wearing pants. As a matter of fact he wasn't wearing anything, and now that he thought about it he was pretty sure his clothes were strewn around the floor of the room he just left. On a hunch he took a moment to turn around and examine himself in the mirror, revealing a few non-combative bruises and scratches on his back that were already starting to fade from his aura. Looks like I had a good time. Heh, still got it. Too bad I can't remember anything.
As he sat down to do his business his mind started working a little bit better through the haze of booze, recalling bits and pieces, particularly of a weird dream that he had, but oddly enough, nothing about who's actually in the bed. Eh, I'll deal with it later, wouldn't be the first time I forgot someone's name in the morning… Though if he were honest with himself, he didn't like dealing with that when it happens. As he flushed he couldn't help but notice how nice the bathroom was. It clearly was too nice to be an inn, but he was on the ground floor so he probably wasn't spending the night in a hotel. As he wandered over to the sink to wash his hands his mind flicked back to that dream. It was...something involving Tai? He wasn't sure, but he knew Tai was involved somehow, and they were...fighting? No, not fighting...eh, the hangover's probably reminding me of that bachelor party, seriously, how did he ever get my sister to marry him…
Qrow began to slowly walk out of the bathroom as he shut off the lights, stumbling on various items in the room. Unconsciously, as he began to focus even more, he noted that the room was a nice bedroom with a decent view of the forest. Eventually he also began to feel some of those aches and bruises on his nude back, and as he sat on the bed he realized how sore his butt was. This was generally the point in time where he went back to sleep before the real pains kicked in, and hopefully sleep through his aura's healing time. He slowly slid into bed to not wake the other occupant. The other occupant was still asleep, and Qrow got ready to close his eyes when his bedmate unexpectedly decided to turn over, and put an arm around him grabbing him slightly, with a bandanna on it pushing into his upper arm.
Jeez, she's got a strong grip, huh, guess I strayed from my usual type...He thought to himself. Wait, a bandanna on the upper arm, why does that sound familiar? What woman do I know that wears a-his thought was interrupted by the other occupant suddenly pulling him closer and Qrow feeling something that definitely did not belong to a woman on his lower back.
"AHHH, WHAT THE F***!" he yelled as he pulled away suddenly, with the man in his bed being dragged off of it and onto the floor in a mess of blankets as Qrow scrambled on the floor, grabbing the sheet and pulling it with him as he reached for a lightswitch on the wall.
He turned on the light and saw a blonde man with a bandanna on his arm and not much else lying in a heap on the floor, dazed, but growing more confused as his eyes focused.
"TAI?"
"QROW?"
"WHAT THE F*** TAI?"
"QROW, I-WHA-WHaT-WHAT?"
Qrow desperately tried to think of some reasonable explanation for why he and his best friend would be naked in bed together, but his head decided that this was the opportune moment to kick in finally and fill in all the gaps in his memory. This was Tai's house on Patch, he was there for the anniversary of Summer's death, and yeah, there really wasn't a really reasonable explanation for this situation so much as an obvious one. Well, he thought to himself, that would explain why it feels like I sat on a railroad spike…
As the two men stared at each other in dumbfounded silence with identical expressions of dawning comprehension and embarrassment, Qrow couldn't help but think that he was missing something. Something extremely important that was breathtaking obvious that he should've realized sooner, something...red?
Somewhere in a far off corner of the house, a baby started crying.
"F***."
"She's a light sleeper"
"Pretty sure you don't need to be a light sleeper to hear us, Tai"
"Dammit…" Tai said as he pinched his nose. Qrow could see the bags under his eyes, and remembered how much Raven and Tai complained when Yang was her age. He also was remembering how lethargic Tai was throughout his visit, constantly forgetting things because he was so tired. Dammit Tai…
"I'll get her." Qrow said suddenly, reaching for his pants.
"Wait, what? Qrow, you don't even-"
"Rock and bounce her till she stops, and if that doesn't work check diapers"
"Qrow, I'm her father, let me-"
"And I'm her Uncle! Now let me rock her to sleep before she wakes up Yang" Qrow could see the hesitation on the man's face as he finished putting on a pair of pants and pulled a shirt that was lying around.
"Tai" He said quietly. "I've got this. Go to sleep, alright?"
Tai sighed, then looked up at Qrow "Alright…"
Qrow left, shutting the light off as he went.
He went into Ruby's room, as she continued crying in her little crib that she was almost too old for. Almost. He gently lifted the crying infant and began to slowly bounce her up and down whispering to her quietly. She eventually calmed down after a few minutes, and after a few more, he could feel the even breathing of her sleeping that reminded him so much of her father for some reason.
He slowly walked out of the room, and tried to be as quiet as possible as he wandered back to Tai's room. He slipped back into bed, and fortunately for his peace of mind, Tai had put on some pants while he was gone. Tai spoke with his back to him. "You came back"
"What'd you expect?"
"I dunno"
Qrow was quiet. "Are we going to talk about this?"
Tai sighed again "Yes" he said "But" he interjected "in the morning. You still gonna be here?"
Qrow didn't have to think long "Yeah. I guess I am." "Good"
Tai turned around to drape his arm over his friend's body, as they both fell asleep.
AN: Is there a name for this ship? Cause if not I'm giving it a stupid one. Like "Blondebird", or "Teamlayer" (you know, cause Tai would've slept with his whole team if he slept with Qrow...) Anyway, idea came from Callsign Echo Lima on Tumblr who had a shorter version of this. I don't own RWBY or else the show would probably be banned in Russia by this point. Hoping to update my other RWBY stuff but inspiration is slow, and I am lazy... Also, comment on whether you actually like having author's notes, are they informative, entertaining, or unprofessional?
