So I'm trying something a little unusual here and writing this from the POV of Joseph Hollister, Olivia's father. Hope you like it!
Hollister Household, 1984
It's been sixteen years.
I don't know why I so desperately want to hear this girl's voice, to know that she actually exists even though I can so clearly see her in those pictures.
My eyes shift to the newspaper clipping clasped between my fingers and I bite down on the inside of my cheek, taking in every single detail of the girl who is somehow my daughter. Homecoming Queen. My child was homecoming queen and I missed it. I missed everything. Her birth, her first steps, first words, first day of school, first boyfriend, first breakup...
Why do I even care? I didn't care about her mother when I was raping her. I didn't care that she continuously begged me to stop. She didn't deserve what I did to her and I don't deserve to be there for my daughter. Lord, I can only imagine what Serena has had to go through, having to raise a child that would remind her of the worst day of her life. But the one I feel the most sympathy for is the girl. I wonder if she even knows what happened... I wonder how her mother treats her... Does she abuse the faultless child whom I forced upon her?
That thought sends shivers down my spine and I hate it. I hate that I care so much for a child I only found out existed a few months ago, a child that I didn't want. That her mother didn't want. That nobody wants. Another wave of guilt hits me at the thought of no one wanting this innocent young girl and that's why I have to do this. I have to call her, I have to let her know that I'm out there. That however fucked up it may sound, I do care. So I punch in the numbers on the telephone and lift the handset from its cradle, my now shaking hand pressing it against my left ear. It rings three times and I'm sure that no one is going to answer until suddenly I can hear the phone being picked up followed by the faint sound of... Crying?
"Hello?" The voice asks and it causes my heart to tighten in my chest. It's her's, it has to be her's. My mouth hangs open as I listen to her try to control her breathing and I search for something to say, anything to let her know that I'm here. It's when I hear her repeat the word with an air of annoyance that I finally speak up.
"Is this Olivia Benson?" My voice sounds much more calm than I actually feel and I look back down at the picture, trying to imagine this gorgeous, smiling girl with the tear laced voice on the phone.
"Yes... Who is this?" There's hesitation in her voice now but she doesn't sound as upset as she did previously, which is a good sign. But I find myself unable to respond to her question, afraid that the answer will frighten the girl. Just say it. I clamp my eyes shut and let out a shaky breath.
"I'm your father." I whisper into the handset, my eyes slipping shut as a heavy weight seems to have been lifted from my chest after the confession. There's almost complete silence coming from the other end of the receiver, the only sound being her soft breathing that seems to have once again quickened.
"Y-you... How did you get this number?" Her voice is sharp and it's clear that she's quickly gotten over the shock and is now beyond angry. I look at the slip of paper laying on the table that I cut out of the phonebook which reads the name Serena Benson, along with a number. I remember going through what felt like hundreds of those books before finally finding the information I needed to make this extremely nerve wracking call.
"I found it in the phonebook." I answer quickly, waiting once again through another moment of silence before she continued. "Why are you- god I don't even know what to say... Why are you calling us?" I can hear the hurt in her voice now even though she's attempting to hide it with anger and for some reason, it causes a sharp pain in my chest.
"I only found out you existed a few months ago, when I saw you in the paper and I... I needed to hear your voice. To know that you're real." It sounds stupid and I know it but it's also the honest truth. A part of me wishes that she was standing in front of me so that I could see her reactions to all of this but another part of me is glad that she isn't here, because I'm sure that I would've gotten attacked by now.
"I'm-I don't... I don't understand. Why would you care about the child of a woman you raped?" I can tell that she's trying to remain calm now and I sigh, rubbing my hand over my face whilst desperately searching for an answer to her extremely complex question.
But suddenly I don't have to find an answer because the horrifying sound of glass shattering from the other end of the phone interrupts my thinking.
"Livia, who the fuck are you talking to?!" Serena Benson screeches in the background and I'm pretty sure I heard Olivia drop the phone. I keep the handset pressed firmly against my ear as I listen to the distant conversation, my eyes widening slightly at the variety of profanities the woman is shouting at her daughter.
"God dammit Olivia Margaret Benson, if you're talkin to that boy again I'll kick your ass!"
My eyes are now narrowed at the threat that was just thrown at the young girl and I find myself wondering how anyone could speak to a child in such a way. I know that after what I did to that woman I shouldn't be judging her but lord, I never thought she'd take it out on her own little girl.
"I swear it wasn't him mom, it's... It's no one!"
Olivia sounds terrified at the prospect of her mother hurting her. I hear movement in the background and a muffled cry before the receiver is once again lifted, the sound on the other side being heavy, labored breathing.
"Who the hell is this?" Her words are slurred showing that she's clearly drunk and I don't want to answer, for fear that she might hurt the girl when she finds out who I am. But I can't find it in me to lie to the woman that I inflicted so much pain upon. "Serena, this is Joseph Hollister... I'm Olivia's father."
It sounded better then coming straight out and saying 'I'm your rapist' so I went with that, figuring that she would be able to put two and two together. Her response to the confession is exactly the same as her daughter's, for I am once again met with complete silence followed by unadulterated rage.
"You son of a bitch! You have the nerve to call my fucking house and then talk to my daughter?! Don't ever call this number again, you hear me? And you better stay the fuck away from my little girl or I swear to god I'll kill you, you sick bastard!"
And then the line goes dead.
The handset remains locked in my grip as I stare down at the machine, trying to absorb everything that just happened in such a short amount of time. I heard my daughter's voice. Though it may have been filled with anger and pain, that doesn't necessarily matter at the moment, because I heard her. I spoke to her. But then Serena made her grand entrance and destroyed the entire moment. I'm pretty sure she hit Olivia, though I can't be completely certain. The mere thought of someone hurting that girl angers me and I...
I need to see her.
I'd love it if you guys reviewed and told me how you feel about this story. I would also like to know if you want me to continue and what you want to happen if I do!