Sans drummed his phalanges against the side of his brother's car as they sped along the highway, lost in thought. In between expertly dodging cars and following safety regulations to the letter, Papyrus stole an occasional glance at his older sibling. If he were being honest with himself, and Papyrus was never anything but honest with himself, he would say he was worried. Tactfully, Papyrus tried to figure out what about.
"BROTHER, OF COURSE I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AM THE COOLEST AND MOST AMAZING OF BROTHERS."
This seemed like a good place to start it off. Sans eye lights snapped over to him, twinkling slightly in Sans personal, lazy version of a smile, "of course pap," he went back to staring out at the road.
Another car was successfully dodged, "AND OF COURSE I AM MORE THAN UP TO THE TASK OF HANDLING ANY AND ALL OBSTACLES WHICH I MIGHT FACE."
Sans looked a bit more serious this time as he watched his brother, "yeah...did something happen at work today, bro?"
Papyrus started, "WHAT? NO, WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT? I WAS...MERELY POINTING OUT AN INCONTROVERTIBLE FACT."
Sans gaze softened, "just checking," his eye lights didn't leave Papyrus, though. He could feel the gaze inspecting him, looking for cracks or bruises or any other evidence of something gone wrong.
Papyrus sighed dramatically. It was always like this. Sans tried so hard to protect him, but this time, it was Sans who was in need of assistance, and Papyrus was going to figure out how to help if it killed him...figuratively speaking. Turning to dust was unlikely to improve Sans' mood. He decided to quit beating around the bush and go for it. Sans never dealt well with his masterful subtleties.
"I MERELY WONDER, BROTHER, WHAT IT IS THAT IS TROUBLING YOU? SURELY IF SOMETHING IS WRONG, I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL BE ABLE TO COME UP WITH A SOLUTION FOR YOU THAT IS TRULY INGENIOUS!"
Sans spluttered out an exclamation, "wh-what-t?" In an instant, the discomposure was gone, replaced once more with his usual grin. Papyrus was not fooled, "dunno what you're talking about, bro. everything's cheeky."
Papyrus put on his best 'I am not amused by your pun and your dissassembly, brother' face. It was unfortunately one he was all too acquainted with, "BROTHER. YOU HAVE BEEN LOST IN THOUGHT FOR DAYS, YOU HIDE YOUR PHONE WHENEVER I COME CLOSE, YOU MISSED THE HUMAN'S UNFORTUNATELY DECENT SKELETON PUN EARLIER THIS MORNING-"
"oh, frisk made a pun? i am so proud-"
"AND YOU RUN AWAY EVERY TIME EITHER OF THEIR MAJESTIES COMES NEAR."
Sans switched off. Papyrus stared with interest at the stationary pile of bones in the seat behind him. The eye lights in Sans' head had switched off; the rise of his ribs had failed to fall; the tapping of bone on paint had ceased its rhythm; and the turning of his skull ended abruptly.
Papyrus chuckled, "OH, I SEE WHAT IT IS NOW, BROTHER. YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON THEIR MAJESTIES!"
Sans' skull jerked back as if he'd been struck, "no way, bro!"
Papyrus smirked, "AS THAT ODDLY RHYMING BOOK YOU ONCE READ ME PUT IT, "METHINKS THOU DOST PROTEST TOO MUCH!" ADMIT IT SANS, YOU FIND THEIR ROYAL GOATNESSES ATTRACTIVE!"
Sans buried his head in his hands, the blue glow across his cheeks peeking though. Muffled protests fell on deaf ears as Papyrus smiled to himself. Well, if that was all, the solution was simple! Their Majesties would both be coming over this evening for the newly-traditional Handing Over of the Frisk Ceremony...with a few preparations, this problem would soon be behind them, and his brother would once more be his usual, punning self!
Toriel scrolled through the archived messages on her phone, giggling slightly over a few choice exchanges. All too soon, though, she reached the end of the little white bubbles, and melancholy overtook the joy. It had been days since Sans had last responded to her texts, and Toriel had only missed them more and more as time stretched on. She stared morosely at the last exchange before the easy back and forth turned into a line of increasingly desperate entreaties.
Toriel: Oh, I have a good one! Knock knock!
Sans: who's there?
Toriel: Reunited.
Sans: reunited who?
Toriel: Reunited with Asgore thanks to you!
And there the messages stopped. At first, she had suspected Sans' phone had been stolen in
much the same manner as hers had often been. Then Frisk had shared with her a picture of Papyrus bathing in a shower of silver-wrapped chocolate candies...dated the morning after Sans had stopped responding and sent from his phone. Then she had been confused, hurt, angry, regretful - was it something she had said? Did he think the way she had broken the news was too childish? Had she offended him in some way?...but none of it made sense.
Now, she was aching to hear his voice again, even if it had to be through the thickness of the Ruins door. She had not realised how much the skeleton's presence had come to mean to her until it was gone - not just his gorgeous grin, not just his unending supply of practical jokes, not just his readiness to listen to her rambling about Asgore, but even the little ping of his adorable jokes.
So here she was, curled up in her bedroom like a teenager, sobbing into her pillow and rereading his old texts. It really was rather pathetic of her, but she just...missed him so much!
A knock sounded on her door, and for a moment her heart raced...but then the knock continued, four beats instead of two. Another sob left her throat, and she curled up tighter.
The door handle turned open softly, barely audible above the muffled tears. Footsteps fell into the room, a steady gait that bore weight both physical and emotional that would make others crumple under the strain. The springs of her bed creaked, and a soft hand tentatively rubbed at her shoulders.
"Toriel...please tell me what has hurt you so much?"
Another wave of tears washed over her, and wordlessly, she handed over the phone. The sounded of Asgore's enormous pads swiping across the surface entered the room. At long last, he sighed, and set the phone beside her.
"I hadn't realised he'd cut you off, too. I am sorry, Toriel...I-"
The sobs stuttered to a halt at the heartbreak in his words. She sat up, face soggy but now concerned.
"Gorey, hush," He fell silent. She studied his face, searching. On it, she saw the signs of a session of tears much like her own being strongly repressed. Instinct of old times when the dance of dealing with their own politicians' worries and human ambassadors' threats had brought him crying to her rooms took over, "Talk to me."
"I...alright, Tori. I...had thought it was nothing, at first. We never had such...constant communications as you until recently, and...I thought it was just...a return to old times. But...it hurt more, this time. I...lately I have been using the texting device to talk with him almost daily. Questions of character for this or that human…asking for advice for how to settle some little disputes between monsters...answering questions about gardening, or history, or...you…" Asgore's face grew bright red.
She snickered, "Talked a lot about me, have you?" The blush deepened. Something occurred to her...if Sans had...no, that was...it couldn't be...would he really be that… "Phone."
Asgore fumbled in his pockets, nearly dropping the device when it was finally located. She rescued it from its fate, then unlocked it. Sans' picture was of a skeleton-design teapot he'd found in a store. She opened up their log. An expanse of bubbles stretched before her...the two had much larger bubbles than her own phone, if less frequent. She snickered when she realised just how much of their conversations ended up focusing on her. She skimmed over these messages as quickly as possible, for politeness' sake.
Finally satisfied about just how much of this swooning had been happening, she returned to the bottom of the screen. Sure enough, the last bubble from Sans' phone came only minutes before her own last conversation with the skeleton. She sighed. At least she could guess at the reason for his retreat, now, even if she was rather disappointed in him. She handed the phone back to Asgore.
"I believe our little skeleton may be having a problem being far too selfless for his own good."
Asgore tilted his head in confusion. She elaborated, "I believe he may be trying to stay out of our way so his own feelings do not get in the way of our reunion."
The light dawned. Asgore looked between her exasperated face and the phone in his paws, then guffawed. A smile twitched at her jaw...it really was rather silly. Romantic and noble and kind and utterly idiotic, the sort of gesture that came straight out of human media. Really, here they'd both been feeling betrayed and heartbroken, and all the while the skeleton had been trying to put their happiness before his own. Silly monster.
Asgore's laughter wound down into chuckles, "That...would be typical of the skeleton, I must admit," Another laugh, "Did you know he used to work five jobs...just so his brother had the time to spend training with my Captain of the Royal Guard?"
She nodded, "Yes. I am afraid that my efforts to explain the stupidity of that to him through the door fell on deaf ears. Did you know he stayed up for two weeks straight last year finalizing the paperwork to get the whole of Monsterkind authorised as Frisk's legal guardians, just so their frequent house hopping wouldn't be interrupted again by the law?"
Asgore wiped away a tear, "My dear, I was there when he collided with the copy machine on his way out of the Embassy after dropping it off. I do not think he even noticed it was there. Despite how touching it was to see Frisk's face, I must admit he had me scared. I know he doesn't like people worrying about him, but…"
Her eyes met his, the same idea shining in both their eyes. She bared her fangs in a rakish grin, "We will just have to explain to him then just how important it is to communicate, then. After all, it is important to tell your partners everything in a relationship, is it not?"
He smiled softly back, "Yes, it is. We rather found that out the hard way, didn't we?"
She reached over to nuzzle his nose, "Yes, well, all the more reason for us to avoid that error in future. Now, let us go explain to our misguided skeleton that we are more than happy to share, as long as he is willing to put up with both of our snores!"
Papyrus and Frisk huddled together at the kitchen table, his voice barely audible over the whirl of the fan in the summer heat. The human giggled, then nodded, signing a smug comment to the younger skeleton brother. He grinned back.
"THEN IT IS SETTLED HUMAN! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, SHALL GREET THEIR ROYAL GOATNESSES, WHILE YOU, THE UNSTOPPABLE FRISK, SHALL DISTRACT MY BROTHER AND PREVENT HIM FROM USING ONE OF HIS SHORTCUTS TO ESCAPE BEFORE THE TRAP IS SPRUNG!"
The sound of tires on a gravel drive carried up the lawn. Papyrus' eye sockets went googly.
"QUICK, HUMAN, TO THE ROOM!"
Frisk nodded. The look in their eye said that setting up another one of their friends in a romantic relationship...it filled them with determination. They ran over to a spot by the sock, tapped the air, and continued up the stairs.
Papyrus smoothed back his nonexistent hair as he hopped over to the front door. He flung it wide open, only remembering when he was faced with the raised hand of the King that it was customary to wait for guests to knock before answering the door. He pushed it aside in the name of the quest.
"YOUR MAJESTIES! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE BECOME SO ATTUNED TO YOUR NEEDS THAT YOU NEEDN'T EVEN KNOCK! HOW INTERESTING"
From behind Asgore, Toriel's amused face circled forth, "Greetings, Papyrus. You would not happen to know if your brother was home, would you?"
Papyrus straightened proudly. This plan was going even better than he had expected!
"WHY, YES. I AM AFRAID MY BROTHER HAS BEEN BEHAVING RATHER RUDE LATELY FOR A RATHER NAIVE REASON, AND BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE, I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE FOR THIS RUDENESS ON HIS PART."
Asgore rumbled into life, "Of course, Papyrus. We actually wish to talk with him about this reason, if that would not be too much trouble."
Papyrus tilted his head, "THEN YOU ARE AWARE OF MY BROTHER'S CRUSH ON YOU?"
A squeak sounded from the top of the stairs. The three turned to see Sans, head buried in his hands, a determined Frisk pinning his arms to his sides. The child had both feet splayed and hooked on opposite sides of the door to Sans' room, anchoring the blushing monster and preventing further escape. Sans didn't so much seem to be running now as rooted in place. Papyrus smiled. This trap was working out perfectly!
Behind him the Queen's snort echoed through the hall. He stole a glance over his shoulder, and both Dreemur parents appeared equally amused at the sight. The king was the first one to contain himself enough to reply.
"Yes, Papyrus. In retrospect, it is amazing it took us until today to figure it out."
The younger skeleton nodded his head wisely, "YES, IN SOME WAYS HE HAS BEEN RATHER OBVIOUS. OF COURSE, NOT EVERYONE CAN HAVE THE GREAT PAPYRUS' SKILL IN THE ART OF TACT."
The Queen's laughter once again boomed into a roar. Above their heads, Sans somehow managed to fold even further in on himself. Asgore spared a glance for his howling wife and started up the stairs.
"Papyrus, I do believe our chat with Sans may be...rather lengthy. Would it be too much of a trouble to ask you to keep Frisk here for the weekend? I promise we will return your brother on...hmm. Dear, do you think Monday would be too late?"
Sans started shaking so back he was audibly rattling. Frisk's stubborn face was quickly mixing with confusion and mild vertigo. Papyrus tried not to laugh. It really would do his brother no good. Sans sometimes took laughter very personally...which was odd for a comedian such as himself...and by the sound of that rattling, today might be one of those days. Still, the Great Papyrus had confidence that both their rulers would be able to talk his brother down from his fear eventually. He put in a comment.
"THERE IS NO NEED TO WORRY. FRISK AND I WILL BE FINE HERE FOR AS IT TAKES...AND IF ANYTHING GOES WRONG, I AM SURE SOMEONE WILL BE ABLE TO HELP! KEEP HIM AS LONG AS YOU NEED!"
Toriel's laughter finally died down to manageable proportions, "That is very kind of you, Papyrus. I am sure Frisk and you will have a marvelous time. Gorey?"
The towering monster nodded to her, then wrapped his arms around the rattling pile of bones. For a moment, he looked startled. Then his grip tightened even further. Frisk extracated themselves from the hold with a pop, and landed on the ground, a wide, if still confused, smile splitting their face. Asgore smiled back, then carried the still-shivering skeleton back down to the door.
"Papyrus," He nodded solemnly.
"YOUR MAJESTY," the taller skeleton nodded back, grinning. Frisk giggled at the exchange.
Toriel pulled a set of keys out of her purse, "Come, Gorey. Let us get our skeleton home."
They made their way down to the car, the elder skeleton gone limp in Asgore's hands.