Save me (Queen) – this song was on my mind for some time as well as Bones. I noticed it well describes Brennan's situation, of course in my opinion, so I wanted to share it. Warning my first story ever and English is not my first language, but I tried my best. Hope you like it

It started off so well
They said we made a perfect pair
I clothed myself in your glory and your love
How I loved you,
How I cried...
The years of care and loyalty
Were nothing but a sham it seems
The years belie we lived a lie
I love you 'til I die
Save, save, save me
I can't face this life alone
Save, save, save you...
I'm naked and I'm far from home

The slate will soon be clean
I'll erase the memories
To start again with somebody new
Was it all wasted,
All that love?
I hang my head and I advertise
A soul for sale or rent
I have no heart I'm cold inside
I have no real intent
Save, save, save me
I can't face this life alone
Save, save, ooooohhhhh...
I'm naked and I'm far from home

Each night I cry I still believe the lie
I'll love you, 'till I die

Save, save, ohhhhhh, save me
Don't let me face my life alone
Save, save, ooh...
I'm naked and I'm far from home

Nothing happened, I will adjust soon, The human brain needs three days….If she could repeat those sentences as often as it's possible, she would eventually believe they are true and act on them. Thought it isn't going to happen soon. She sees the damage. Hannah doesn't talk with her. She said he had told her. She was shocked so she never asked how much. She felt so terrible looking at her. Hannah was hurt and accused her of betrayal. Not in direct, blunt way, but even Brennan could understand that she meant it, when she reminds her I thought you were my friend. She was sick for the first time after talking with Hannah. Since then she's been afraid Booth will tell her that he can't be her partner, because she is a treat to his relationship. Booth is nearly all professional with her. Of course there is the façade, he still calls her Bones but all that small gestures are very rare now. There is almost nothing left of theirs interactions, they don't make eye contact most of the time. When she looks in his eyes there is something which scares her. She can't name what she sees, sometimes she thinks it's a mixture of pity and anger and it's killing her. There used to be such a warm light just for her and its gone. She saw it few times in the past months, but not after her revelation. There was something off before, but she saw it as natural thing. Everything changes. She tried so hard to fit in the renew partnership. However, at the moment it's worse than at the beginning. Booth gives her space and time to adjust, which means they meet and talk only if its work related and even if its work he waits tills it absolutely necessary. She decided to be more distant, professional in order to do compartmentalization in typical Brennan way, as Angela would say. It is her thing, her defence system. It has worked so far. She isn't certain if his behaviour is simply effect of her attitude or his decision. She would never picture him as the one who would play along with her retreat into famous reserved and detached Dr. Temperance Brennan, but he might want her to.

She is alone and lonely. She needs somebody to drag confession out of her; she wants to tell how she feels – scared, guilty, hurt, angry, sad and lost. She probably destroyed the most precious relation she had in whole her life and doesn't know how to fix it. She tried to tell, what happened and failed many times. Today she's just made conclusion that there is no one she should engage in talking. Booth of course is out of the list. Angela is pregnant and has emotional roller-coaster without any additional stimulation. It could only make some harm to the baby. Cam is the boss and it's obvious that you do not discuss your privet life with your boss, especially when she's also the old and good friend of Booth. Sweets should be out of the list on the second place, just behind Booth. She knows he is great, but he is their friend and probably would feel obligated to fix the mess she made. It could destroy their little family. Sweets works with Booth a lot these days and it's good for both of them. Sweets needs a male friend – some kind of older brother figure. She is aside, but hovering nears her baby duck. Her father might hurt Booth, just because his little girl suffers from unrequited feeling. Russ would tell Max and it goes back to what her father might do to Booth. In the past she would just go for a dig. The farther, the better. Every time she starts to think about it, she can hear Cam telling her how she had destroyed their team going to Maluku Islands. There is no way out for the destroying torment, which is inside Brennan – all those emotions fighting its way out so hard. She's torn between the need to let it out, share her thoughts with someone else than Booth and withholding everything. She considered consequences of both options and once again there is no real choice, at this point she can only organize damage control. She saw outcome of her admission. Though she was sobbing all the way to her apartment, she still could observe that Booth was distressed and stunned. She won't let others in her drama. They are safe with no knowledge of her regrets and declaration.

It's miracle that she finds the strength to get up and put her walls each day. She pretends a lot these days and she is great actress. Nobody gives her credit for it, but she has– as her former boss called it – steep learning curve. The case was hard so she has to gain objectivity by withdrawing herself and they accepted it. Booth knows it's not the case itself, but it doesn't matter, because he accepted it as well. After a month of pretending all of them think she's alright. She is not and won't be any time soon. The only thing that keeps her going is her makeshift family happiness. She cares event if no one notices the effort. At work she is efficient as ever, but at home she makes a break and stops pretending. She cries a lot and every night she wakes up because of same nightmare. She eats but throws up a lot, not after each meal but it happens too often. She avoids eating with friends most of the time, because she's not certain how long food will stay in her stomach. She's exhausted and rationally speaking she knows there is no much time left till her friends notice her condition. She is buying them time and hopes to find the way out before it runs out. Once again she was so worn out that she was fast asleep on her couch, stirring and mumbling Booth save me…