Disclaimer:I do not own inuyasha or the characters in this story, I make 0 from writing this, and I'm broke as hell, so if you sue… it won't be worth the legal fees.

A/N: This fic was originally written for MFSanctuary's prompt 'cliches in FanFiction' It is a PARODY, and meant to be HUMOROUS. I'm poking fun at many of the fanfiction standards, and this isn't directed at any particular author, and I myself am guilty of many of these...

Title: Sesshomaru is totally KAWAII!

Author: Plumespixie

Rating: M

Cannon/AU: canonish

Character(S):Sess/Rin

Genre: ROMANCE

Word Count: 692

Summary: Sesshomaru goes into heat, Rin is in hotspring, and where the hell is Jaken? (ALSO another 'cliche' I made fun of here was INCORRECT USE OF JAPANESE - IE DESU KA IS NOT THE PROPER... WELL, IT'S JUST WRONG- SHE IS ASKING IF HE IS OKAY - WHICH WOULD BE 'DAIJOUBU DESU KA' OR JUST 'DAIJOUBU'- IT CAME TO MY ATTENTION THAT SOME PEOPLE WEREN'T GETTING THAT AS A 'JOKE'... SORRY IF I WASN'T CLEAR...)

Sesshomaru could feel he was going into heat… he knew he was going to become a mindless sex zombie, but, he didn't think it was necessary to leave Rin or anything… afterall, even mindless sex zombies have standards, and Rin was hu- … what was that smell?

Rin was bathing in one of the 50,000 or so local Japanese hotsprings, that seemed to be convieniently located through out the forests of Japan, allowing her to bathe EVERY single day! She (of course), had just seen Kagome-sama and the girl had very willingly given up some of her futuristic hair care products, because if there was one thing people in feudal Japan NEEDED from the future, it was definitely shampoo and conditioner!

Just as Sesshomaru had followed his nose to the source of the unfamiliar scent, (somehow missing the scent of the hotspring, and the scent of Rin) he came upon Rin in the hotspring and was amazed…

Rin was the most beautiful woman EVER… she had long hair, perfect boobs, 'dusky' nipples, a nice ass…

Just at that moment, his 'heat' came over him, and he lunged at Rin…

Rin, for her part, saw her demon-lord come at her, eyes red and fangs and claws lenghthened but, she thought it best not to run, or show any signs of having the slightest self-preservation instinct. Instead, she tried to talk the angry demon down… because presumably that had worked before??

"Sesshomaru-sama? Ie desu ka?" Rin was concerned for him, after all, he was only the most powerful demon in all of Japan… she had every right to be worried! As a young human woman with no discernable powers, she should definitely try to help him!

Sesshomaru, lost to demon lust, just grabbed Rin and threw her on the ground. With NO foreplay whatsoever, he magically was able to undress himself and shred Rin's clothing without her getting away. He WAS a demon after all… they totally have magical stripping abilities.

Now, since he was a dog, he mated for life… so obviously he's a sex god, and has had sex with TONS of demonesses, but they all must have died… because he doesn't have a mate now… and, life decisions such as who you're going to be tied to for life, should ALWAYS be made in a lust induced frenzy…

He shoved his unrealistically large cock in Rin's unrealistically tight virgin whole, and of course it hurt, and she cried, but even in his lust frenzy he still waited til she was done crying and squirmed under him, because, everyone knows that if you squirm under your rapists hold on you, it means you're ready for the good part!

He moved inside of her, and even though it hurt, Rin couldn't help but like it! Kami-sama, it felt SOOOO good, (now that the whole UNBEARABLE PAIN part was over…)

Rin climaxed, and her wetness just spurned Sesshomaru on, until, when Rin climaxed AGAIN, he shot his 'seed' into her, and clamped down on her shoulder, to mark her as his mate.

When he came to, there was Rin, sleeping peacefully next to him, (falling asleep in your demon-rapist's arms is just how its done okay?) and they were both NAKED!

"KUSO!" what had he done? Had he gone and made a life altering decision, like who he should be tied to for life,while under the influence of some rare male-heat that only demons get?

Dammit, wasn't this how he'd gotten stuck with Jaken?

By the way, where was that little toad anyway??

'Oh well, it was probably really convenient that he was away so I could rape Rin in peace…'

When Rin woke up she rolled over and smiled,

"Aishteru Sesshomaru-sama!"

Well, dammit… now that he'd had sex with her, she was probably pregnant… and that meant he HAD to love her… (Because just killing her and being rid of his human would be just SO out of character for him! Instead, he's going to accept a human mate AND a hanyou 'pup', after centuries of hating both... because… its totally more romantic that way!)

"Aisheteru Rin, forever and ever…"

-The end-