There were some days 16-year-old Steven Hyde was almost fond of Eric Foreman. Really, he was grateful that Eric was his best friend because Hyde had no idea what he would do without Eric, Eric's parents, and their friends, even bitchy Jackie Burkhart. Then again, there were some days, where, if Hyde wasn't so afraid of ending up roommates with his old man, Steven Hyde would have cheerfully killed his best friend. Unfortunately, today was one of those days.
Eric was a great guy, but he was such a whiner. If he wasn't whining about his girlfriend, Donna, he was whining about his parents; "Red's such a hardass", "My mom's so smothering, I swear, she still thinks I'm five". Whenever Eric went on one of these rants, Hyde didn't say a word, no matter how much Eric may piss him off. It wasn't like Hyde to not speak his mind, granted, but his naïve, sheltered friends didn't need to hear all the details about what really went on at his house, so Hyde just sat in his usual chair in the basement and listened; he didn't dare open his mouth, because he knew if he did, what would come out wouldn't be good. What would come out was how he would kill (literally) for parents like Red and Kitty Foreman. What would come out was how lucky Eric was to have them…
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Hyde walked into his beat-up, crappy, old house and like always, from the minute he walked into his house, his very first thought was the same old urge to turn around and go back to the Foreman's, but he didn't. Instead, Hyde flopped onto the old, shapeless, ripped and ragged couch (instantly regretting this move for a spring that had popped out of the cushion, that he'd forgotten about, poked him in a place that…well…suffice it to say, if he'd remembered about the loose spring, he wouldn't have flopped like that), and tried to block out the sounds of loud drunken sex in the next room. He only knew it was drunken because a) He knew his mother, and b) His mother stumbled out about ten minutes later (after a very dramatic, very loud end, that no one, most especially her son, should have had to listen to), squinted at him, and asked gruffly "What the hell are you doing here?" Like he had absolutely no right to be there.
In one fluid motion, Hyde pulled himself into a sitting position, neatly avoiding the broken spring, leaned on the arm of the couch that wasn't broken, and took off his sunglasses, almost boredly examining them as he answered "I live here, Edna, remember?"
Next thing Hyde knew, his mother's fist met his eye, not hard for all the alcohol Edna had drunk that day messed up her fine motor skills, but it was hard enough to hurt, and Hyde knew it would leave a bruise. As he tenderly examined the area with his fingers, he couldn't help ironically thinking that it was a good thing wearing sunglasses nearly all the time had become his trademark, and made a mental note not to take his sunglasses off in front of his friends or Mr. and Mrs. Foreman for a few days or else he'd face awkward questions. Hyde lowered his hand to his side and glared at his mother, who didn't seem to care much. She was drunkenly shuffling towards where they kept the liquor, mumbling "Worthless, dumb, useless boy. Don't know why I keep him around…" under her breath, like she'd completely forgotten the boy she referred to was in the same room, never mind in hearing distance.
Hyde could just feel the rage boiling up inside him. He hadn't had the greatest of days to begin with, between finding out he was failing English, and risked having to stay behind next year, Foreman's incessant whining, so, Edna, as always, hadn't helped matters. He needed to find some way to get this rage out or he was going to do something he knew he'd regret later; like hitting Edna back. Getting her back for all the times she'd hit him over the years, the way she'd been treating him his entire life; like he was some mere inconvenience rather than her son.
Oh he would love to hit her some days, and today, what with the day he'd had so far, was one of those days, but he couldn't for so many reasons. One, she would undoubtedly report it just to be a bitch and get her, in her eyes, ungrateful, inconvenience of a son out of her hair and then he'd end up in juvie, and eventually jail for any tiny misdemeanor he might get caught in when he got older for the law was never hesitant in arresting someone who already had a record. Secondly, like it or not, Edna was all he had.
Edna was all he had. What a depressing thought, Hyde thought as he stalked angrily to his room, successfully repressing the urge to punch his mother and instead took his anger out on his already broken door, slamming it shut behind him, but rather than it shutting, it simply fell off its hinges and fell to the floor with a large clatter, causing Edna to scream more obscenities at him, Hyde to hurl them back, and the man Edna had been sleeping with (which 'uncle' this was, Hyde had long since stopped trying to keep track) to yell incomprehensibly, as the loud bang undoubtedly woke him from his alcohol and drug-induced sleep. What a life…
Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Hyde flopped on his bed (or rather mattress without sheets on the floor, shoved up against a wall. He liked to call it a bed. It usually made him feel better), placed his hand behind his head for support, and closed his eyes, again trying to block out the drunken sex noises that somewhere along the way had become the background noises to his home life. No matter which way he tried to look at it, he couldn't escape the conclusion that whether he ran away tomorrow or made bail from juvie two years for now, had he decided to fuck reason and punch his mother, he would have nowhere to go. If he had punched her, Edna wouldn't let him back into the house, and probably even if he tried to come back after running away for that matter, but simply, there was no one else. He didn't have any family other than Edna and God knew where his father was. Deep down, Hyde knew that if Mr. and Mrs. Foreman ever learned of Hyde leaving his mom, they would take him in faster than Laurie could sleep with the entire male population of Point Place, but Hyde couldn't do that to them. Sure, the Foremans loved him. Kitty had essentially adopted him, Kelso, Donna, Fez, and Jackie as her own children since the minute each of them had set foot into her house, and hell, even Red liked him (sometimes it seemed even more than he liked his own son), but the fact remained, he would feel so guilty letting them take him in. Red had lost his job and was having a hell of a time finding a new one.
Money was tight at the Foremans, they all knew that, but the Foremans weren't telling the kids just how tight money was. Just a week ago, Hyde had been on his way upstairs from the basement to get a soda (or perhaps see if he could swipe a few of Red's beers unnoticed for him and his friends) and overheard Red and Kitty talking about the things they could do for a little extra money, Kitty had even generously offered to hock her engagement ring. Her engagement ring, for God's sake! But Red wouldn't let her. Since then, Hyde had felt extremely guilty taking so much as a napkin from the Foremans. If Hyde ever left his mom, would the Foremans take him in? In a heartbeat. Would Hyde let them? No way in hell. They couldn't afford to feed a third kid.
The sounds of yet another dramatic ending brought Hyde out of his thoughts, and served to finally and rudely shove him over the edge that he had been waiting to go over all day. Thinking about the Foremans and their money problems had only served to anger him even more for they were the nicest, most generous people he had ever met and didn't deserve to be having the trouble that they were currently in, and, a bit more selfishly, perhaps, serve to remind him that even if he wanted to leave this hellish life he had (which he did so badly), the only place he could possibly go to, he couldn't because he'd feel guilty doing it.
It was louder. Hyde swore that the 24-hour sex club that was going on in there was even freaking louder than before. Usually he could block it out but not today. All he could hear was sex! Hyde jumped off his bed to try to at least prop his broken door up to, with any hope, block out some of the noise, but it wouldn't work. Hyde kicked the door, but that didn't help either. Now he was royally pissed and had an aching foot. Broken house…constant sex…abuse…broken life…And Eric Foreman wanted this life? That skinny pansy couldn't handle five minutes of what Hyde had to put up from Edna. Hyde could just hear his whining brat of a best friend (he wasn't feeling very friendly towards Eric at the moment) say that Hyde was so lucky cause his mom was always gone, he had an entire house to himself, but Edna was always home lately, filled with booze, illegal substances, random strangers and abuse; verbal, sometimes physical, and most of all, mental. This was what Eric wanted?
No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)
Eric didn't realize what he had, how lucky he was to have two parents that loved him, how much Hyde would kill for that…
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
…How much Hyde wanted to feel cared about…
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To feel on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
…to feel wanted…
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Hell, just to feel like someone gave half a damn about him. Yup, Eric Foreman was more than welcome to his life.
Welcome to my life
Because more than anything…Hyde wanted his.
Welcome to my life