I do not own The Outsiders.

I remember the first time I did it like it was a few seconds ago. It
hurt so bad. Looking into the mirror after; tears I didn't know
existed trailing down my cheek; the edges of my eyes tinged with
red.

I raised a shaking hand to my cheek to my cheek, slowly brushed it
away feeling the salty water touch my fingertips. Never again, I swore
to myself. It's not worth it.

But it happened again. And again. And again. And again. Until my life
slowly spiraled out of control like a ball of yarn falling down the
stairs. Until I lost the person I started for. Until I lost
everything; my loose grip on the edge of life slipping free; finger by
finger; until that last finger let go and I fell into the gust of
winds traveling to the ground; where my hero was watching; not even
trying to save me.

A sob escaped my lips as I pressed the cool blade against my skin and
ripped it back, tearing open skin and blood flowing out.

I watched fascinated for a second, entranced by the red liquid dripping
off my arm. Too slowly.

Raising the blade again I brought it down against my wrist again,
cutting deeper this time, making sure to cut the vein.

I did the same to my other wrist numbly.

A thin haze fogged my mind as I sat back, dropping the knife to the
ground. The clatter it made when it hit the ground caused me to wince,
it was too loud.

A slight sting caused me to glance down at the bloody mess my arms
used to be. I heard a gasp escape my lips as I caught sight of a drop
of clear liquid slowly getting swallowed by the red sea.

That single tear caused more pain than the blade that cut my arms did.

I wasn't going to be found with dry salt stains on my cheeks, I was
leaving the world brave and strong.

I tried to raise my arm to wipe any tears but they were to heavy, it
was like they were just dead weight.

With another heavy breath I shut my eyes and leaned my head back until
it hit the wall behind me. I was going to die soon, I knew it.

The only thing I was really aware of was the tears slowly falling down
my cheek. Tears of defeat. The world had won.

I slowly fell deeper into the hole; memories spiraling past me; both
happy and sad.

With another thought I realized I didn't leave a note. I never said
good-bye.

I tried to open my eyes but couldn't get them past slits before they
shut again. I was trapped inside a body I couldn't control.

Fighting to open my eyes with still no adue I panicked.

I don't want to die, I'm only sixteen, I have more to do, to
live...it was a mistake. I don't want to die anymore. . . .

My mind cried out. Please, let me take it back, I don't want to leave.
It's not worth it. It was a mistake.

A mistake I couldn't take back.

"I'm so sorry..." I whispered, finally coming to terms I was going to
die, nothing I could do would change it.

"I'm so sorry...I love you Steve."

. . .

What brought her to the point she would rather die then live another
day? What caused her life to spin so out of control? Who is she even?

Review please!