Smile
(Stained Glass #2)
By Aithine
Post Nagasaki arc. Follows Silence.
One smile.
That was all he wanted to see: just one smile.
It didn't have to be a huge grin, or even a real, honest-to-goodness smile that lit up the boy's eyes and face. He didn't really expect either right now, given the events they'd been through over the last few days.
Just a lightening of the serious look on his face or a twitch of the lips would be enough for him to consider it a smile.
It wasn't too much to hope for, was it?
But maybe he was expecting too much, too quickly--after all, they'd just met, right? And the boy had had a terrible time--it wasn't like he'd had much to smile about in his life. Or in his death. Not to mention the terror he was still dealing with in whatever this plane of existence really was.
But . . .
Something in the tone of voice had changed when Hisoka had called him an idiot today. Before--oh, before, he'd meant it, all right. He'd really thought he was stuck forever with a fool for a partner.
But this afternoon, standing there in the rain, it had almost felt like . . . a caress.
Well, ok, maybe not a caress exactly, but the tone had been indulgent instead of truly angry. The boy might not understand why remaining partners was so terribly important to him, but he was willing to go along with it for now, most likely treating it as yet another of his new partner's quirks.
Snorting softly to himself, he took another bite of dessert. His eyes closed as he held the cinnamon-flavored apple on his tongue, relishing the last of its tart sweetness.
A quirk. Is that what it is to want a partner who understands how cruel this existence can be? Is it unreasonable to want the person who has to spend the most time with me to realize how much it hurts to take people's lives, even though it isn't my choice to end their time on Earth?
Am I an idiot to care about someone I barely know, just because he's had such a miserable life and because he makes something in me complete--something I didn't even know I was missing?
Is it stupid to want to not be alone anymore?
He opened his eyes and caught Hisoka staring at him with a puzzled look on his face. But before he could say anything, the boy released his gaze and quickly focused on his own barely-touched dessert instead.
I really should stop calling him that. It's not his fault he's going to remain physically that young forever. But those eyes . . . they're so sad. They make me want to--
A sharp glare from across the table reminded him that his partner could feel his emotions and could probably figure out the gist of what he was thinking. He could feel the slight heat as his cheeks flushed guiltily.
But you don't want that sort of help, do you? You've seen all of the awful things the world can throw at you and you still stubbornly survive on your own. You're practically as old as I am, experience-wise. No thanks to--
The fork in his hand clattered down onto the plate, the tines splattering the remaining bits of whipped cream that had crowned his glazed apple tart.
Emerald eyes speared him as he quickly slapped a goofy look on his face and proceeded to lick the sweetened cream off his fingers.
"You are so--" A put-upon sigh expelled itself from the boy--no, not boy--from where he sat across the table, but a slender hand offered him a napkin. "Here."
"Thanks, Hisoka!" He accepted it, making his smile as large and friendly as possible while he wiped his sticky fingers and cleaned his tie.
The only response he got was accompanied by a raised eyebrow. "You missed some."
"Where?"
Hisoka made an abrupt gesture towards his face. "Your nose."
He crossed his eyes, exaggerating it as much as he could, straining to look at the white on his nose and his partner at the same time.
Not even a flicker of an eyelid.
"Ah." He swiped at the sticky spot and smiled at his partner again before dropping the napkin on the table next to his plate. He looked at the dessert sitting in front of Hisoka, then glanced up at his face.
"Are you going to eat that?"
That eye roll was eloquent.
"No." Hisoka shoved the plate towards him. "You can have it."
"Are you sure?" He couldn't stop his hand from creeping towards the abandoned dessert, but he could control himself--I could, honest!--if Hisoka did want it after all.
"Idiot. Of course I'm sure. I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it."
"I know." He smiled as he dragged the plate the rest of the way across the small table. He took a big bite, his grin growing as a frown was flung in his direction.
Just you wait. I'll get you to smile yet.
A snort from across the table was his only answer.
Muchas gracias again to Mer, whose generosity I abuse shamelessly. *g*
Please feel free to leave both comments and constructive critiques--I adore both! :)
And thank you all very much for the lovely comments on Silence! This is the next scene in the series, which I also wrote last year--the rest are in progress, so they probably won't appear as quickly as this one did. (Just ask Mer--she's despaired of my finishing anything lately. *g*) But I'm getting back in the groove for this series, with nine more pieces planned. Most are from Tsuzuki and Hisoka's points of view, but there are one or two Tatsumi and Watari pieces there as well. And yes, it's working up to a Tsuzuki/Hisoka finale.
originally posted 7.6.01
minor edits 9.5.02