"Hahaha Ichimatsu nii-san, don't get your hopes up. You're the worst one here, all dark and gloomy in your little corner. You're never gonna make it out of here, just accept the fact that you're scum and move on with life. You are the trash that lays forgotten in the alleyways Nii-san. We're all pretty pathetic here but you're the worst. You can't even hold a conversation with anyone outside this family unless it's a cat! They're your only friends in the whole world and even they don't show up all the time." Todomatsu laughed as Ichimatsu sighed and got up, uncurling from his corner and grabbing his jumper looked over at Todomatsu with his usual uncaring, dark gaze and walked out of the room to Todomatsu's continued laughter as the others joined in to drag him through the mud.
Sometimes, he hated his brothers. Sometimes, they went too far. Sometimes, not often, only sometimes… They actually hurt him.
He slipped into his shoes and silently left the house, hood of his jumper hanging over bowed head and hands in the pouch at the front. He left with the feeling of eyes on his hunched shoulders and disappeared into the chilly afternoon.
Whilst exercise was never his most favourite thing to do, walking around town by himself had always granted him a sense of peace as he worked through his thought and feelings. Today Totty's words reverberated throughout his skull, repeating themselves over and over and twisting into nastier, more cutting remarks, all of which he'd heard from his brothers at one or more times.
Ichimatsu you're such a creep, creepymatsu.
You're so annoying Ichimatsu, always being so dark and depressing.
Stupid Ichimatsu.
Pathetic.
Useless freak.
Good for nothing waste of space.
Scum. Trash. Piece of shit.
Disgusting troglodyte. You're such an annoying pest.
Pain in our asses Ichimatsu, you're such a bother.
All the things they said in jest rung true to Ichimatsu's ears. He was a pest, he was trash, he was a piece of worthless shit, he was annoying, he was useless, he was so useless, nobody needed him. Nobody needed a good for nothing, pathetic freak like him.
Nobody needs me. My brothers never needed me. They never will need me. They'd be better off if I was dead.
Ichimatsu stopped dead in tracks, right in the middle of the pathway. His fists clenched in his pouch. Everything would better, if I were dead.
Ichimatsu was shoved forward a step as someone coming past rammed his shoulder from behind, angrily muttering to themselves.
"Fucking selfish bastard. Taking up the path like he owns the place. Some people have places to be.." The muttering continued but the person was out of earshot. Ichimatsu's breath hitched, he looked to the sky and stared at the ledge of the building thirty stories above him.
I would be better off dead. So I can stop bothering everyone.
Ichimatsu turned towards the glass doors of the building and stepped over. He tugged at the stainless steel handles and slipped inside before sneaking his way over to the emergency staircase and quietly disappearing into the stairwell with none the wiser to his presence.
#
"Hey~ my brothers. Ichimatsu's been gone for a while. His cat food is even still here." Karamatsu said pointing to Ichimatsu's bag of dried sardines peeking out from its hiding place. He was ignored by half his brothers on the spot, two of them not even so much as twitching as he broke the silence that had hung over them since Ichimatsu's abrupt departure hours ago. The small conversations between them had been weeded out and strangled in the oddly heavy atmosphere of their room.
Todomatsu grunted in what could have been acknowledgement, but he was scrolling through one of social media sites so Karamatsu wasn't even sure Totty had heard him speak. Choromatsu was the only one to actually acknowledge that he'd spoken with words.
"He's probably just walking around somewhere. He'll be back." Though he was flippant about it, flipping a page of his magazine as he tucked his hair behind his ear, they had been letting their hair grow a bit long recently. Time for a cut, Karamatsu thought to himself sliding into his leather jacket and flicking out the sides of sunglasses.
"I." He said, swishing on his glasses. "Am going to find my dear brother Ichimatsu. Adios my brothers." Karamatsu waved over his shoulder as he slid open the door of their room.
"Don't come back."
"Don't do anything weird to Ichimatsu, shittymatsu."
"Good luck searching through all the trash in this city. If you go dumpster diving maybe you can pick yourself up a new jacket so you'll be less painful."
"Tell Ichimatsu I wanna play baseball with him when he gets back!"
Karamatsu laughed his way down stairs, brushing off his brothers' comments like they were nothing. Ichimatsu like Jyuushimatsu as far as Karamatsu could tell. He'd be sure to relay Jyuushi's message for him.
#
Karamatsu strutted around town directionless. He'd checked all of Ichimatsu's regular haunts, each one had been void of both his brother and his cats and each failed location made him feel a little cold inside. Did he not know his brother as well as he thought? Had Ichimatsu moved on from some or all of these places and found newer, more secluded areas to feed his cats? What was going on?
Karamatsu called his brother as the light began to fade from the day. He'd texted Choromatsu not long ago and Ichimatsu hadn't found his way home nor had he contacted anyone. The dial tone rang through his ear and his anxiety increased with every passing second. An indescribable, piercing icy dread filled him.
What is this? Why am I so worked up? Ichimatsu's disappeared before like this. It's not the first time.
Karamatsu stopped walking off to the side of the footpath and tapped his foot impatiently against the ground as he leaned back against a glass window.
"Come on Ichimatsu, pick up." He muttered, his breath condensing in the air in front of him, it was getting too cold to still be out here. A storm was coming in, he gave it about twenty minutes before it hit full force.
"Hello, this is Ichimatsu."
"Ichimatsu? Where are you? Are you o-"
"I can't take your call right now. Leave a message if you want and I might call you back. Bye."
Karamatsu cursed and clenched his phone in his hand till it began to creak. He took a deep breath, sighed and released the tension in his hand, he slid his phone into his pocket before sauntering over to the guard railing and sitting on it, face toward the sky.
"Damnit Ichimatsu. Where are you?"
His eyes locked on to something falling towards him from the sky, a tiny smudge against the sky quickly growing in size as it descended.
Is it a bird?
Karamatsu squinted to try and make it out. It was a small object, looked like it would be brown or beige had it been closer to the ground. Though at the rate it was falling, distance wouldn't much matter soon anyway. It'd be right on top of him if he didn't move right now!
Karamatsu jumped away from the object as it slammed into the ground and bounced towards him as he rolled to a stop against the glass doors on the building he was loitering in front of. Breathing heavily he got to his feet and pushed back his fringe with a smirk.
"Aha~ something like this could never scare me. Getting almost crushed by a… Shoe?" Karamatsu approached the shoe and crouched down in front of it curiously peering at it as if it'd grown legs and started to tap dance.
"What are people doing throwing shoes off of rooves?" Karamatsu picked it up and turned it over, stopping as a burn mark on the outside trim caught his eye.
"This is Ichimatsu's shoe. Why is Ichimatsu throwing his shoes off buildings? Is he trying to kill someone?… Ah, this is Ichimatsu's shoe, which means that.. OH MY GOD! ICHIMATSU IS ON TOP OF A BUILDING!"
Karamatsu dropped the shoe, spun to the doors of the building the shoe dropped from and wrenched open the glass doors, bolting for the elevator as the doors close.
"Excuse me sir but we're closing up now, if you could please-"
Karamatsu ran right past the receptionist and jabbed his finger on to the call button. Seconds later the doors opened wide enough for him to slip in, he spun to the panel on the wall and jabbed the door close button ignoring the burly security men rushing for him. He looked up and down the panel of buttons, each one with a floor number on it and jarred his finger slamming the tip into the number 30. He nursed it all the way to the top to the floors and rushed out when the doors opened, he threw quick glances left and right, finding the emergency stairs to his right and bolted for them. Gaining the incredulous, watchful eyes of the workers as he speed past their cubicles.
The door slammed back into the wall but Karamatsu payed it no mind as it dented the door handle. He was already halfway up to the roof, taking the stairs two and three at a time. A strong breeze pushed through the stair well from the rooftop door way and through that Karamatsu could see his wayward brother.
His precious brother.
Standing on the edge and just peering down at the ground.
He burst out of the stair well without a sound and rushed Ichimatsu; any noise he could make was drowned out by the wind buffeting him and Ichimatsu.
He reached out and circled his arms around Ichimatsu's waist before pulling him back off the ledge and into his embrace. They stumbled back, trying to regain their footing as Karamatsu trapped Ichimatsu's arms by his sides and buried his face against the back of Ichimatsu's hood, right near his ear.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing Ichimatsu?"
Ichimatsu struggled against him, turned himself around and glared at Karamatsu.
"Why would you care? I'm just doing you all a favour! Taking out the useless trash!"
Karamatsu tightened his hold around Ichimatsu who wriggled his arms free and tried to shove him away.
"You're not trash Ichimatsu! Totty was just being an asshole, he didn't mean it."
"He was telling the truth Karamatsu. I'm just a pathetic waste of everything. I am the lowest of the low; I'm the worst out of all of us brothers. I'm annoying and I'm a freak and I'm just wasting everyone's' time by being alive. I deserve to die. I bet you all want me to die; you all hate me don't you. You all think I'm creepy and.. And you.." Ichimatsu was cut off by a sob tearing its way from his throat. "You all wish I would just die."
"We don't. Ichi, we would never, ever hate you."
"DON'T LIE TO ME SHITTYMATSU!" Ichimatsu shoved Karamatsu away and stumbled back to the ledge. He climbed on top and stared down at Karamatsu who looked at a loss for what to do. He reached out to Ichimatsu, tears gathering in his eyes. His chest heaving irregularly.
"Ich-Ichimatsu please.. Please come down."
Ichimatsu smiled and glanced over his shoulder at the ground below.
"I'll be coming down soon." He said. Karamatsu breath caught in his throat as he reflexively took hurried, stiff steps toward his brother.
"NO, Ichimatsu come down to me, please brother! I want you to stay. I want you alive! I-.. We love you Ichimatsu so please, please don't die!" Karamatsu's tears cascaded down his cheeks in thick, fast flowing rivulets. He snorted back his snot and wiped at his eyes but Ichimatsu wasn't looking at him.
"Sorry Karamatsu nii-san I-."
"Jyuushimatsu wants to play baseball when you come back home. So please come back home. He'll be sad if you don't, we'll all be sad if you don't. Don't do this Ichimatsu."
"You won't be sad. Nobody will miss me." Ichimatsu stepped closer to the edge, his heels dangled over the edge, the corner biting into the arch of his feet.
"OI, Get off the roof!"
Karamatsu jumped and spun to see the guards from the first floor running at them. He backed up a step as they came closer. His tears falling slower from the shock of their sudden arrival.
"Goodbye Karamatsu nii-san. I love you."
Karamatsu's eyes widened, he spun back to his brother, tears drying up as his chest tightened with a vice grip squeezing his heart. He lunged for Ichimatsu, one hand out to catch his wrist, his ankle, his anything to stop him plummeting to his death.
His hand closed around Ichimatsu's jumper sleeve. His heart jumped into his throat as he was tugged forward by Ichimatsu's weight, four arms held him down to the ledge and Ichimatsu's weight jerked free of his hand. Karamatsu stole a half breath before his chest seized in terror, his hand clutched at empty air as wind whipped around him and the guards dragged him onto the rooftop.
"Ichimatsu.. ICHIMATSU NO! ICHIMATSU! ICHIMATSU! ICHIMATSU." Karamatsu shoved against the guards, not hearing a word they yelled at him. Probably telling him to calm down, to breathe, and to stop screaming for his brother lying at the bottom off this very building.
How could he stop that? How could he possibly stop crying for his lost brother? It hurt so much, like someone had doubled the density of his heart and frozen it to the core. Ichimatsu…
Ichimatsu was gone.