SAY YOU LOVE ME
By: Mika Maxwell
DISCLAIMERS: I don't own Gundam Wing, Please R & R!!!!!!!
I tried to confess myself,
But he could never see.
And so I turn to you,
Please, say you love me.
PRESENT TIME
And what could I say? That I was never coming back to his warm embrace, I don't think that would have been an option. Even as I tuned out his voice and picture perfect face I did notice that he showed no signs of being left. Not what I would have considered the usual symptoms anyway, but then again, he wasn't a normal guy. Still, several emotions slipped through his usually carefully guarded mask and made themselves known to me as I glanced back at him one last time. Well, it wasn't really the last time, we had agreed upon several terms that this sudden change should not sever all of our nicely tied friendships. In silent remorse I contemplated the strong feelings Heero and I had once held for each other. Perhaps it was something I had chosen to believe as love, but while still in a stalemate with Heero I met one of the most wonderful men in my life. I gave a sideways glance at the man that accompanied me and smiled slightly. Yes, Duo was my one and only.
FLASHBACK
Heero bade me goodbye in his way as I tromped from the shuttle to the inner colony. I had to give many speeches as of late, and didn't want to be caught interrupting the middle of a heated meeting when I was being watched carefully by the media. Once again, I gave my hand a small sideways movement as I traveled farther, deeper into the colony. Unwilled, a sigh escaped the lips that I had so desperately held shut for the past hours. 'Who would have thought my life could have ended up this way? A small smile crept to my face as my thoughts returned to the Prussian eyed, brown hared, angel I had fallen in love with so long ago. He was my savior to realization of sorts; I owed him me, although he had not taken advantage of that offer yet. At least the years seemed to be so long ago but in all reality they had only been together for one year, since AC 197 to be exact. 'Heero, I love you, hope I will forever.' I raised a hand to my mouth at that last thought. Where had that come from? Of course I would be with him forever, right?
As much as this last thing had upset me, I would in no way have time to ponder it at the present time. 'Life is so hard!' I angrily thought as I stepped quietly into the tall government building where a small fountain stood outside, spurting crystal clear water into the air, defying gravity. My heels clicked on the marble floors as I stared blankly into the oblivion that was the main entranceway. I was shaken though when a strong hand landed around my shoulders. Tempted to shriek in fear I suppressed this when I heard the glee full and familiar voice of Duo Maxwell. "Ojousan!" A small-relieved breath came raggedly from my chest as I stared at the handsomely smiling Duo. "What brings you here Foreign Minister?" Mockingly he stood taller and straightened his back, imitating one of the regular political men who would be attending an event such as this one. I couldn't stop the giggle that suddenly bubbled up in my throat and it echoed in the almost ghost like hallways. He returned to his normal stance and moved back in a more comfortable manner; obviously glad he had broken the tension between the two of us. "As a matter of fact," I managed to choke out in between giggles. "I'm here on business." His look was one that clearly stated he knew that I was here on business, I was always everywhere I was for my duty, and the preventers knew I didn't like it one bit.
"Relena-sama!" I cringed as my pleasant conversation with Duo was broken and shattered into a million pieces. Replacing the mask I had relieved myself from with my small meeting with Duo, I turned to the annoying man who stood now before me. "We will be late Relena-sama." Ugliness and insincerity shone on his face as he gave me a putrid smile, not giving Duo so much as a look of unapproval. "Come Relena-sama, don't let the lower society bother you." Before I could reply to his snide remark at Duo, he dragged me away towards the prison known to politics, where discussions and arguments were based interlay on lies. Although, before I was to enter the realm I did manage to sneak a look at Duo and shoot him one of my rare forgiveness smiles. To my surprise no anger shown on his face and he just shrugged with acceptance. 'He must be used to it, poor guy.' Reverting my attention back to the pinch faced man who was persistently jabbering into my ear, wanting to gain my hope and confidence. I honestly had to bite my lip, hard, to keep from throwing out an obscenity at the oblivious man, if you could have called him that. He reminded me more of pretzel, face twisted and contorted in a constant sneer
.
The doors groaned as the two of us pushed through them, myself and the man I had silently dubbed the most annoying of the male species I had ever met. Taking a seat amongst the other politicians I muttered kindly greetings and listened intently as the meeting began at an agonizingly slow pace. After fifteen minutes of trying to stay focused on the older gentlemen who stood at the podium my mind wandered to thoughts I hadn't had time to contemplate earlier. 'Heero, I hope I love you forever.' The words recounted over and over, like a menacing chant in my head, almost driving me to cream from the questions this one sentence raised. 'How could I not love Heero forever? He L-O-V-E-S me! Even if he never says it…' almost then I felt I could hurl, right in the middle of the meeting. Reality was something of a sickening realization. 'But I L-O-V-E Heero right?' I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples as I completely tuned out the man now speaking. If I didn't love Heero, whom did I love? A memory resurfaced and rang through my mind eye.
**A gunshot rang out and I ducked from Heero, believing it was the bullet intended for me. Incredibly, I felt no pain, only heard the pounding surf on the sandy shoals beneath. 'What?' Questioning myself I looked up to see a young man in a priest's garb, face hidden underneath the large bill of a floppy black cap. **
My eyes opening in shock I recalled the name, as if holy and spoke it out loud without knowing it. "Duo!" The congregation turned to stare at me as if I had lost my mind and I blushed slightly and tried to cover my tracks. 'Nope, you screwed yourself there Relena.' Soon enough the people turned their heads from me and focused once again on the board where projections were showing numbers. 'Numbers, they aren't personal. They don't say what happens, they are cold and impersonal.' Giving a last glance to my watch I returned my wary attention to the screen shining before me, illuminating part of the room. 'Especially these numbers!'
When I finally emerged through those colossal oak doors again, I felt like I was entering the gates of heaven. 'Thank god that's over!' I thought as I strode over to find the way out of the rather confusing building. I had been so preoccupied at the time I was entering, that now I had no idea how to get out. Casting nervous glances around the swarm of lingering people I tried to pick out a familiar face. 'Hmm…no…no…' I mentally counted off the people I would not ask assistance from. '…No…Duo..Wait a minute! Duo?!' I was immediately thrown away from my current train of thought when I got sucked into his eyes; those violet pools of ever lasting hope and love. He stuck a hand into the air and waved to me, trying to catch my attention, although I had already been riveted to him. He slowly wove his way through the crowd and when he finally reached me he wrapped a lengthy arm around my shoulders. "Hey Ojousan!" His voice was like a ray of light breaking through the darkness. I gave him a tired smile and I guess he was observant enough to notice it. "Ojousan, you need some help? You look a little lost." He offered. In my mind I thanked him over and over for finding me, but suddenly felt uncomfortable under his protective arm.
A light blush painted my cheeks and I scooted away just enough to only feel the warmth of his touch on my skin. "Duo, I would greatly appreciate help." I gave him my best, princess of the world, smile, and moved to follow him as he once again ducked into the wave of people emerging from the conference. In one fluid motion, he reached a strong hand back to me and grab mine within his. My eyes widened in shock at this but he merely continued guiding me through the people. His hand felt so safe, and comfortable like, perhaps, the solace of death.
PRESENT TIME
And that was the simple beginning of what would flourish. I gaze a gander back towards Heero, who, was currently staring in blind realization at our retreating backs. I guessed that he had always thought if anyone were to leave, it would be him. This was obviously unexpected since Duo and I had hidden it so long, our love, I mean. It was like a humble understanding between us, that we were dating, but we would never admit it, for Duo had Hilde and I, finally getting what I wanted for so long, had Heero. Some where in the far reaches of my mind a felt an arm flip around my waist and knew Duo was trying to comfort me. In reassurance to him, I ruffled his braid absentmindedly and shown an appreciative smile. We had to tell Hilde the 'news' about us officially dating now. My memory wandered back to the time when it had first been said, not so much by our mouths, but through movements.
FLASHBACK
Once again I found myself sneaking away from Heero to converse with Duo in a small, gothic club. Our visits had become more and more frequently than when we had first begun meeting here. I zipped up a long black leather boot that went up to my lower thigh, and had to smile contentedly when I viewed myself in the mirror. I stood tall, in four inch boots, and a very short, fitting black dress with fish net tights. No doubt, this dress would catch many people's attention if they had known I was the one wearing it. Duo had insisted that we meet at nights at the gothic club because it was the best way to disguise yourself, in other words, no one in their right mind would expect the princess to be there. Placing my now raven black hair into a ponytail, I paused to laugh at the blue streaks that ran through it. Hearing footsteps approaching my door a voice soon accompanied it. "Relena? Are you in there?" It was that deep monotonous voice of Heero's. Hearing him speaking to me in the way I had once longed to hear shot a pang of guilt through my soul. 'No,' I reprimanded myself, trying to justify my reasons. 'You and Duo are just friends!' The sudden sound of the doorknob turning caught me out of my reverie.
I almost ran to catch it, but figured that my doing so would cause more upraise than my standing before my mirror dressed this way so, I decided, I would play it off. In to my personal chambers stepped a dark haired, unruly man. His expression never changed as he saw me, and no emotion escaped that perfect mask of his. "Relena is downstairs, I think." I covered, in a feeble attempt to not blow my secret. Trying to play my part to it's fullest, hoping he would buy it, I grabbed a cigarette from my pocket and brought out a lighter. I knew that this would show him that I was not Relena, for, Relena would never smoke. He nodded his head in acknowledgement and turned his back to me, but before stepping out the door, he spoke. "You shouldn't smoke, it's bad for you." And with that, he closed the door with a resounding click, and I closed my heart to him as well.
Lights splashed the walls and you could almost feel the adrenaline in the air as people scattered the floors and bars. Searching desperately I moved within the larger mass of people, looking only for that shiny black leather jacket and chestnut hair that I so loved. At the point of giving up I walked over to the bar and lit a cigarette again, without really thinking, just wanting to kill time. Taking a few puffs at it I smothered in an ashtray while I ordered a drink. 'You shouldn't do that, it's bad for you.' Every time I remembered Heero, my mind portrayed a schoolgirl's crush, nothing more, anything less. An exasperated sigh filled the air around me with confusion. When my mind wondered to Duo, however, I saw myself being happy and content forever, finally free of my barriers. Startled by my drink arriving I took it in one shot and was considering leaving until two protective arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me into a smaller room. Giggles managed to escape me, as I knew it was Duo, and sure enough when I turned around I saw that same goofy smile and perfect eyes.
"Long time no see." He prodded playfully. "Yeah," I said as I leaned forward and gave him a passionate kiss. "Too long!" His arms pulled me towards him again, obviously I had given him a hunger. As we embraced again he placed two hands beside me as I sat on a counter before him. We broke reluctantly and I pulled at his bottom lip with my index finger as I spoke to him, trying to lure him even more. "Duo, have we decided what to do yet?" His eyes broke from their hungry look to one of seriousness. "No, Relena, we haven't." Before I could raise more questions his lips silenced me and I fell back onto the counter, him on top. When I fell backwards, he moved off of me quickly and blush painted his tanned cheeks. "Relena, we don't have to do this." Taking his hand I led him to the couch in the far corner and flipped off the lights. "Duo, we do." I pushed him back and I am sure he smiled as we both fell to the cushions of the couch. His lips traced my neckline and his fingers danced intricate designs on my skin as the temperature seemed to heighten and excitement boiled. I had offered this to Heero, he was my savior then, and he had not excepted my gift. Duo, on the other hand, was my savor now, in the present time. All I could do was moan with pleasure as he kissed me still. Duo was taking my gift in return for saving me from security and an uncertain fate.
PRESENT TIME
And so with all of my will power and courage I stepped into Hilde's home along with Duo, since I was her best friend. Even with his hand squeezing mine reassuringly, I could not find that same comfort with the situation in myself. Hilde's eyes sparkled when she saw Duo and me actually, but as they ceremoniously traced down his figure and saw our joined hands, they lost their inner glimmer and began to well up with tears. Inside, I was shaking as I watched my best friend break down before me, but outside I just stood silent as Duo moved to comfort her and tell her all of what the visit was. Unconsciously, I was pretty sure she had seen this coming but she still shared tears. Obviously it was devastating to find out this way, that your boyfriend and your best friend are in love, but I doubted it would make much difference how much it hurt whichever way she found out. My ears strained to hear her as I moved to comfort her and give her a friendly smile. "I'm so sorry Duo, Relena…" Her voice broke as her fingers clenched endlessly at the fluffy carpet below.
FLASHBACK
My eyelashes fluttered open and I turned to stare hesitantly into the fresh new morning. Birds chirped happily outside my window and cheerful sunlight filtered into every crevice of my room. Panicking suddenly I realized this was not my room. Awareness washed over me in a swash and memories flooded my mind in one fluid movement. I remembered returning to Duo and running away from Heero's protective hold on my life. Then the feelings and high pivoting emotions of the previous night I had shared with Duo resurfaced. I felt light blush subtly paint my cheeks when the memories became very graphic pictures, playing like a slideshow for my mind's eye.
Being careful so as not to wake the sleeping form beside me, I pulled the stark white sheets to my shoulders and turned to face the man that slept peacefully. I reached out my hand and traced patterns on his chest as I snuggled closer to his body warmth. I shifted my gaze for a second to stare up at my new lover, and in a way, owner. His eyes were closed in silence and a wave of chestnut hair fell carelessly over his pillow and body in an awe striking way. The last thing that made me giggle slightly was the unmistakable grin he wore, showing the obvious fun he had experienced the night before. Smothering my giggles and stifling a cry of surprise, Duo's body stretched against mine and a low groan escaped his lips as he, not so happily, welcomed the new day. Raising my eyes to drown in his own violet pools, his chin rested on top of my head as his strong hands stroked through my honey blonde hair.
"I love you, koi." His soothing voice cooed, covered with its usual morning grogginess. Shock and millions of other questions spiraled through my body at the straight forwardness of his last sentence. No one, besides my mother, had ever actually told me they loved me in a way that was like this. It was raw emotion, no false words and sugary sweet comments to cover up other hidden feelings; undoubtedly it was the truth. Heero had never said he loved me, or cared enough to confide in me. He depended totally on his body language to tell the stories of his inner self on his bidding, but I needed to hear it, wanted to feel the wisps of someone's breath as they whispered sweet things in my ears. Unbeknownst by me, tears had fallen from my ears and I was sobbing in small whimpers. Duo had worry clearly etched on his face and love shown in his eyes as he tried to comfort my struggling self.
"What's wrong koi?" My eyes held shut even as he asked me questions and tried to find the reasons for my unnecessary sobs. The dreads of my soul were filling with light, love, hope, and freedom, all because of Duo's confessions. Although my desperate cries were subsiding due to Duo's hugs and reassuring kisses, in my tears lay definition and loss. They defined the old me and my younger years, but the loss was that of youth and innocence, that of my self. Life was starting a new for me from his day forward. The night before, I handed myself over to Duo, and together, we had given up on long used promises and worries. Together, we had made a resolution, one of new hopes.
PRESENT
So I had given myself up to a man who returned my gratification in the form of love and passion, and we had spent the whole day telling those who had not returned, nor cared to show their affection, that we would not follow their whims any longer. Today we had started different, in fact, we were new people. Here my best friend lay sobbing on the floor from our love. Duo's and mine's love had caused such hurt and pain to Hilde, perhaps to Heero, but it was all made out in the end. Duo and I had saved each other, and these two people in our live who would have suffered from lack of attention and care if we had constantly hidden our affections. I cleared my mind as Hilde raised her teary blue eyes to stare at me, inside them, surprisingly enough was envy. Envy of a better life maybe or shame for never having given Duo the love he deserved, but now it was too late because he was mine, my savior. He had told me he loved me in so many more ways than one.
And you took me in,
So we could love again.
Together let us be,
And you said you loved me
3,548 words!! I did it, I actually made a longer fic than Destiny's Withering Rose! =) So tell me, was it worth it? Please R & R over this fic, it was a sudden notion I had to write down. I hope you'll review it! ^_~;;
By: Mika Maxwell
DISCLAIMERS: I don't own Gundam Wing, Please R & R!!!!!!!
I tried to confess myself,
But he could never see.
And so I turn to you,
Please, say you love me.
PRESENT TIME
And what could I say? That I was never coming back to his warm embrace, I don't think that would have been an option. Even as I tuned out his voice and picture perfect face I did notice that he showed no signs of being left. Not what I would have considered the usual symptoms anyway, but then again, he wasn't a normal guy. Still, several emotions slipped through his usually carefully guarded mask and made themselves known to me as I glanced back at him one last time. Well, it wasn't really the last time, we had agreed upon several terms that this sudden change should not sever all of our nicely tied friendships. In silent remorse I contemplated the strong feelings Heero and I had once held for each other. Perhaps it was something I had chosen to believe as love, but while still in a stalemate with Heero I met one of the most wonderful men in my life. I gave a sideways glance at the man that accompanied me and smiled slightly. Yes, Duo was my one and only.
FLASHBACK
Heero bade me goodbye in his way as I tromped from the shuttle to the inner colony. I had to give many speeches as of late, and didn't want to be caught interrupting the middle of a heated meeting when I was being watched carefully by the media. Once again, I gave my hand a small sideways movement as I traveled farther, deeper into the colony. Unwilled, a sigh escaped the lips that I had so desperately held shut for the past hours. 'Who would have thought my life could have ended up this way? A small smile crept to my face as my thoughts returned to the Prussian eyed, brown hared, angel I had fallen in love with so long ago. He was my savior to realization of sorts; I owed him me, although he had not taken advantage of that offer yet. At least the years seemed to be so long ago but in all reality they had only been together for one year, since AC 197 to be exact. 'Heero, I love you, hope I will forever.' I raised a hand to my mouth at that last thought. Where had that come from? Of course I would be with him forever, right?
As much as this last thing had upset me, I would in no way have time to ponder it at the present time. 'Life is so hard!' I angrily thought as I stepped quietly into the tall government building where a small fountain stood outside, spurting crystal clear water into the air, defying gravity. My heels clicked on the marble floors as I stared blankly into the oblivion that was the main entranceway. I was shaken though when a strong hand landed around my shoulders. Tempted to shriek in fear I suppressed this when I heard the glee full and familiar voice of Duo Maxwell. "Ojousan!" A small-relieved breath came raggedly from my chest as I stared at the handsomely smiling Duo. "What brings you here Foreign Minister?" Mockingly he stood taller and straightened his back, imitating one of the regular political men who would be attending an event such as this one. I couldn't stop the giggle that suddenly bubbled up in my throat and it echoed in the almost ghost like hallways. He returned to his normal stance and moved back in a more comfortable manner; obviously glad he had broken the tension between the two of us. "As a matter of fact," I managed to choke out in between giggles. "I'm here on business." His look was one that clearly stated he knew that I was here on business, I was always everywhere I was for my duty, and the preventers knew I didn't like it one bit.
"Relena-sama!" I cringed as my pleasant conversation with Duo was broken and shattered into a million pieces. Replacing the mask I had relieved myself from with my small meeting with Duo, I turned to the annoying man who stood now before me. "We will be late Relena-sama." Ugliness and insincerity shone on his face as he gave me a putrid smile, not giving Duo so much as a look of unapproval. "Come Relena-sama, don't let the lower society bother you." Before I could reply to his snide remark at Duo, he dragged me away towards the prison known to politics, where discussions and arguments were based interlay on lies. Although, before I was to enter the realm I did manage to sneak a look at Duo and shoot him one of my rare forgiveness smiles. To my surprise no anger shown on his face and he just shrugged with acceptance. 'He must be used to it, poor guy.' Reverting my attention back to the pinch faced man who was persistently jabbering into my ear, wanting to gain my hope and confidence. I honestly had to bite my lip, hard, to keep from throwing out an obscenity at the oblivious man, if you could have called him that. He reminded me more of pretzel, face twisted and contorted in a constant sneer
.
The doors groaned as the two of us pushed through them, myself and the man I had silently dubbed the most annoying of the male species I had ever met. Taking a seat amongst the other politicians I muttered kindly greetings and listened intently as the meeting began at an agonizingly slow pace. After fifteen minutes of trying to stay focused on the older gentlemen who stood at the podium my mind wandered to thoughts I hadn't had time to contemplate earlier. 'Heero, I hope I love you forever.' The words recounted over and over, like a menacing chant in my head, almost driving me to cream from the questions this one sentence raised. 'How could I not love Heero forever? He L-O-V-E-S me! Even if he never says it…' almost then I felt I could hurl, right in the middle of the meeting. Reality was something of a sickening realization. 'But I L-O-V-E Heero right?' I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples as I completely tuned out the man now speaking. If I didn't love Heero, whom did I love? A memory resurfaced and rang through my mind eye.
**A gunshot rang out and I ducked from Heero, believing it was the bullet intended for me. Incredibly, I felt no pain, only heard the pounding surf on the sandy shoals beneath. 'What?' Questioning myself I looked up to see a young man in a priest's garb, face hidden underneath the large bill of a floppy black cap. **
My eyes opening in shock I recalled the name, as if holy and spoke it out loud without knowing it. "Duo!" The congregation turned to stare at me as if I had lost my mind and I blushed slightly and tried to cover my tracks. 'Nope, you screwed yourself there Relena.' Soon enough the people turned their heads from me and focused once again on the board where projections were showing numbers. 'Numbers, they aren't personal. They don't say what happens, they are cold and impersonal.' Giving a last glance to my watch I returned my wary attention to the screen shining before me, illuminating part of the room. 'Especially these numbers!'
When I finally emerged through those colossal oak doors again, I felt like I was entering the gates of heaven. 'Thank god that's over!' I thought as I strode over to find the way out of the rather confusing building. I had been so preoccupied at the time I was entering, that now I had no idea how to get out. Casting nervous glances around the swarm of lingering people I tried to pick out a familiar face. 'Hmm…no…no…' I mentally counted off the people I would not ask assistance from. '…No…Duo..Wait a minute! Duo?!' I was immediately thrown away from my current train of thought when I got sucked into his eyes; those violet pools of ever lasting hope and love. He stuck a hand into the air and waved to me, trying to catch my attention, although I had already been riveted to him. He slowly wove his way through the crowd and when he finally reached me he wrapped a lengthy arm around my shoulders. "Hey Ojousan!" His voice was like a ray of light breaking through the darkness. I gave him a tired smile and I guess he was observant enough to notice it. "Ojousan, you need some help? You look a little lost." He offered. In my mind I thanked him over and over for finding me, but suddenly felt uncomfortable under his protective arm.
A light blush painted my cheeks and I scooted away just enough to only feel the warmth of his touch on my skin. "Duo, I would greatly appreciate help." I gave him my best, princess of the world, smile, and moved to follow him as he once again ducked into the wave of people emerging from the conference. In one fluid motion, he reached a strong hand back to me and grab mine within his. My eyes widened in shock at this but he merely continued guiding me through the people. His hand felt so safe, and comfortable like, perhaps, the solace of death.
PRESENT TIME
And that was the simple beginning of what would flourish. I gaze a gander back towards Heero, who, was currently staring in blind realization at our retreating backs. I guessed that he had always thought if anyone were to leave, it would be him. This was obviously unexpected since Duo and I had hidden it so long, our love, I mean. It was like a humble understanding between us, that we were dating, but we would never admit it, for Duo had Hilde and I, finally getting what I wanted for so long, had Heero. Some where in the far reaches of my mind a felt an arm flip around my waist and knew Duo was trying to comfort me. In reassurance to him, I ruffled his braid absentmindedly and shown an appreciative smile. We had to tell Hilde the 'news' about us officially dating now. My memory wandered back to the time when it had first been said, not so much by our mouths, but through movements.
FLASHBACK
Once again I found myself sneaking away from Heero to converse with Duo in a small, gothic club. Our visits had become more and more frequently than when we had first begun meeting here. I zipped up a long black leather boot that went up to my lower thigh, and had to smile contentedly when I viewed myself in the mirror. I stood tall, in four inch boots, and a very short, fitting black dress with fish net tights. No doubt, this dress would catch many people's attention if they had known I was the one wearing it. Duo had insisted that we meet at nights at the gothic club because it was the best way to disguise yourself, in other words, no one in their right mind would expect the princess to be there. Placing my now raven black hair into a ponytail, I paused to laugh at the blue streaks that ran through it. Hearing footsteps approaching my door a voice soon accompanied it. "Relena? Are you in there?" It was that deep monotonous voice of Heero's. Hearing him speaking to me in the way I had once longed to hear shot a pang of guilt through my soul. 'No,' I reprimanded myself, trying to justify my reasons. 'You and Duo are just friends!' The sudden sound of the doorknob turning caught me out of my reverie.
I almost ran to catch it, but figured that my doing so would cause more upraise than my standing before my mirror dressed this way so, I decided, I would play it off. In to my personal chambers stepped a dark haired, unruly man. His expression never changed as he saw me, and no emotion escaped that perfect mask of his. "Relena is downstairs, I think." I covered, in a feeble attempt to not blow my secret. Trying to play my part to it's fullest, hoping he would buy it, I grabbed a cigarette from my pocket and brought out a lighter. I knew that this would show him that I was not Relena, for, Relena would never smoke. He nodded his head in acknowledgement and turned his back to me, but before stepping out the door, he spoke. "You shouldn't smoke, it's bad for you." And with that, he closed the door with a resounding click, and I closed my heart to him as well.
Lights splashed the walls and you could almost feel the adrenaline in the air as people scattered the floors and bars. Searching desperately I moved within the larger mass of people, looking only for that shiny black leather jacket and chestnut hair that I so loved. At the point of giving up I walked over to the bar and lit a cigarette again, without really thinking, just wanting to kill time. Taking a few puffs at it I smothered in an ashtray while I ordered a drink. 'You shouldn't do that, it's bad for you.' Every time I remembered Heero, my mind portrayed a schoolgirl's crush, nothing more, anything less. An exasperated sigh filled the air around me with confusion. When my mind wondered to Duo, however, I saw myself being happy and content forever, finally free of my barriers. Startled by my drink arriving I took it in one shot and was considering leaving until two protective arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me into a smaller room. Giggles managed to escape me, as I knew it was Duo, and sure enough when I turned around I saw that same goofy smile and perfect eyes.
"Long time no see." He prodded playfully. "Yeah," I said as I leaned forward and gave him a passionate kiss. "Too long!" His arms pulled me towards him again, obviously I had given him a hunger. As we embraced again he placed two hands beside me as I sat on a counter before him. We broke reluctantly and I pulled at his bottom lip with my index finger as I spoke to him, trying to lure him even more. "Duo, have we decided what to do yet?" His eyes broke from their hungry look to one of seriousness. "No, Relena, we haven't." Before I could raise more questions his lips silenced me and I fell back onto the counter, him on top. When I fell backwards, he moved off of me quickly and blush painted his tanned cheeks. "Relena, we don't have to do this." Taking his hand I led him to the couch in the far corner and flipped off the lights. "Duo, we do." I pushed him back and I am sure he smiled as we both fell to the cushions of the couch. His lips traced my neckline and his fingers danced intricate designs on my skin as the temperature seemed to heighten and excitement boiled. I had offered this to Heero, he was my savior then, and he had not excepted my gift. Duo, on the other hand, was my savor now, in the present time. All I could do was moan with pleasure as he kissed me still. Duo was taking my gift in return for saving me from security and an uncertain fate.
PRESENT TIME
And so with all of my will power and courage I stepped into Hilde's home along with Duo, since I was her best friend. Even with his hand squeezing mine reassuringly, I could not find that same comfort with the situation in myself. Hilde's eyes sparkled when she saw Duo and me actually, but as they ceremoniously traced down his figure and saw our joined hands, they lost their inner glimmer and began to well up with tears. Inside, I was shaking as I watched my best friend break down before me, but outside I just stood silent as Duo moved to comfort her and tell her all of what the visit was. Unconsciously, I was pretty sure she had seen this coming but she still shared tears. Obviously it was devastating to find out this way, that your boyfriend and your best friend are in love, but I doubted it would make much difference how much it hurt whichever way she found out. My ears strained to hear her as I moved to comfort her and give her a friendly smile. "I'm so sorry Duo, Relena…" Her voice broke as her fingers clenched endlessly at the fluffy carpet below.
FLASHBACK
My eyelashes fluttered open and I turned to stare hesitantly into the fresh new morning. Birds chirped happily outside my window and cheerful sunlight filtered into every crevice of my room. Panicking suddenly I realized this was not my room. Awareness washed over me in a swash and memories flooded my mind in one fluid movement. I remembered returning to Duo and running away from Heero's protective hold on my life. Then the feelings and high pivoting emotions of the previous night I had shared with Duo resurfaced. I felt light blush subtly paint my cheeks when the memories became very graphic pictures, playing like a slideshow for my mind's eye.
Being careful so as not to wake the sleeping form beside me, I pulled the stark white sheets to my shoulders and turned to face the man that slept peacefully. I reached out my hand and traced patterns on his chest as I snuggled closer to his body warmth. I shifted my gaze for a second to stare up at my new lover, and in a way, owner. His eyes were closed in silence and a wave of chestnut hair fell carelessly over his pillow and body in an awe striking way. The last thing that made me giggle slightly was the unmistakable grin he wore, showing the obvious fun he had experienced the night before. Smothering my giggles and stifling a cry of surprise, Duo's body stretched against mine and a low groan escaped his lips as he, not so happily, welcomed the new day. Raising my eyes to drown in his own violet pools, his chin rested on top of my head as his strong hands stroked through my honey blonde hair.
"I love you, koi." His soothing voice cooed, covered with its usual morning grogginess. Shock and millions of other questions spiraled through my body at the straight forwardness of his last sentence. No one, besides my mother, had ever actually told me they loved me in a way that was like this. It was raw emotion, no false words and sugary sweet comments to cover up other hidden feelings; undoubtedly it was the truth. Heero had never said he loved me, or cared enough to confide in me. He depended totally on his body language to tell the stories of his inner self on his bidding, but I needed to hear it, wanted to feel the wisps of someone's breath as they whispered sweet things in my ears. Unbeknownst by me, tears had fallen from my ears and I was sobbing in small whimpers. Duo had worry clearly etched on his face and love shown in his eyes as he tried to comfort my struggling self.
"What's wrong koi?" My eyes held shut even as he asked me questions and tried to find the reasons for my unnecessary sobs. The dreads of my soul were filling with light, love, hope, and freedom, all because of Duo's confessions. Although my desperate cries were subsiding due to Duo's hugs and reassuring kisses, in my tears lay definition and loss. They defined the old me and my younger years, but the loss was that of youth and innocence, that of my self. Life was starting a new for me from his day forward. The night before, I handed myself over to Duo, and together, we had given up on long used promises and worries. Together, we had made a resolution, one of new hopes.
PRESENT
So I had given myself up to a man who returned my gratification in the form of love and passion, and we had spent the whole day telling those who had not returned, nor cared to show their affection, that we would not follow their whims any longer. Today we had started different, in fact, we were new people. Here my best friend lay sobbing on the floor from our love. Duo's and mine's love had caused such hurt and pain to Hilde, perhaps to Heero, but it was all made out in the end. Duo and I had saved each other, and these two people in our live who would have suffered from lack of attention and care if we had constantly hidden our affections. I cleared my mind as Hilde raised her teary blue eyes to stare at me, inside them, surprisingly enough was envy. Envy of a better life maybe or shame for never having given Duo the love he deserved, but now it was too late because he was mine, my savior. He had told me he loved me in so many more ways than one.
And you took me in,
So we could love again.
Together let us be,
And you said you loved me
3,548 words!! I did it, I actually made a longer fic than Destiny's Withering Rose! =) So tell me, was it worth it? Please R & R over this fic, it was a sudden notion I had to write down. I hope you'll review it! ^_~;;