Felicity put the key into her apartment door, turned off the alarm, and locked the top lock. It was around 10:30pm and she was exhausted from being in the Arrow Cave since seven that morning. Not to mention the tense fight she had had with Oliver earlier. They rarely fought, but when they did, it was always so intense, so passionate on both sides. But this fight, this fight was the biggest they'd had. She didn't know if things would ever be the same between them again. She recalled how it all started.
As soon as she had walked in, Oliver was pacing back and forth. Odd, since he NEVER was there before her.
"Good Morning, Oliver, what are you doing here this early?" She started.
He stared at her. "I've been here for over an hour trying to figure out why you would break my trust."
Felicity creased her brow. "What? What are you talking about?!" Felicity was stunned at the tone of his voice. What the hell was he talking about?
"Felicity, telling Barry that I was Arrow crossed the line", Oliver said heatedly.
"Oliver, we've been over this again and again! You were dying! I didn't have any other cho-"
He cut her off. "You always have a choice!"
Felicity was so furious that he was bringing this up yet again. This had to be at least the fifth time they'd had this same discussion. She didn't know why it bothered him so much. What was done was done in her eyes.
"Like you had a choice when you killed The Count for me after vowing you never would again? If I remember correctly 'There was no choice to make'. Your words! Not mine. Or, how about when you had a choice on whether or not to sleep with Isabel." The moment the words slipped from her mouth, she regretted them.
"Felicity, we've been over that again and again." He used her words and turned them back on her. "It didn't mean anything."
He kept saying that, but Felicity didn't believe it. Felicity wasn't going to get into this right now. She felt that was a topic for another day, so she went back to the subject at hand.
"What did you want me to do Oliver? Let you die? I was not going to let that happen."
Oliver started pacing again. "No matter the circumstances, you broke my trust."
"Oliver, this isn't about me telling Barry about you being Arrow. So what is it about?! There has to be more to this."
Silence. The Arrow Cave had never been this quiet. Felicity waited for what felt like an eternity. In the time since she'd known Oliver, he was never one to be at a loss for words. There had to be something else going on with him, for him to be this upset about something she felt wasn't really that big of a deal.
"Please. Tell me. What is going on with you?" Felicity breathed out.
"Felicity, I don't think this arrangement is working out for us. Clearly, there is no trust between us." Oliver stared pointedly at Felicity.
Felicity couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Wow. Clearly, that's only on one end. I trust with my life." She stilled.
"But, Oliver, you know what? I've tried to be there for you. I know you went through hell on the island and I know you just need someone to be there for you and I've done that, me and Diggle both. But I'm tired of being treated like shit! Excuse my language, but I'm sick of it. I have been nothing but a great friend to you, and what do you do? You shit on the one person who has had your back and wanted nothing but the best for you." Felicity begin to tremble she was so furious.
"You know what you do? You push people away the second you get some semblance of normality or when people start to care about you. I know you aren't used to that and neither am I. I can't even begin to understand what you went through for those five years on that island, but you won't talk to me about it so that I can understand. You know you can tell me anything. But even so, I know it's had a major effect on you. I can see it. I see you. I see it in your eyes. So because of that, I was trying to be understanding, but you know what? I'm done. Done! I won't be your punching anymore." Felicity began grabbing her things. She needed to get out of there before she burst into tears right then and there. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction.
Felicity stared at him with hurt in her eyes. She couldn't believe this was happening. Over the past year, Oliver and Diggle had been the refreshing constants in her life, so this was definitely not sitting well with her.
Oliver finally spoke. "Felicity…I didn't me-". Oliver seemed to get tongue tied. Oliver saw the hurt in her eyes. He didn't want to upset her. He was just so frustrated with the whole ordeal. He only wanted Felicity and Diggle in the know because he trusted them both without a shadow of a doubt. He knew nothing about this kid Barry. For all he knew, Barry would go straight to the police and his whole operation would be blown.
"What I'm trying to say is….I…wanted it to only be us. The three of us," he amended. "Something that was sacred between us. Now that's ruined." Oliver looked over to his bow, remembering the time he hid in Felicity's car and revealed himself to her. He knew then. He knew he could trust her. Now? He didn't know what to believe.
"Look, I'm sorry that I told Barry about you. But put yourself in my shoes. You were dying, and I couldn't lose you." Felicity knew how that sounded and she couldn't believe she was saying this to Oliver. Though she had slipped before with an innuendo here and there, she had never truly stated how she felt about him directly. Then again, he hadn't either.
If Felicity was being truly honest with herself, she knew their relationship was changing and progressing. They spent so much time together that feelings were bound to crop up. When she was with Oliver, she felt alive. She felt as if she could accomplish anything, and he was always encouraging her. She admired his strength and his willingness to help others. She really did consider him not only a hero, but her hero. But she had never explicitly told Oliver her feelings. She didn't know what Oliver felt for her and didn't want to be hurt. That rejection might really do her in, and she didn't want to go through with that. And as far as she knew, Oliver was still hung up on Laurel. She couldn't understand why though. From her interactions with them, it seemed as if they both brought he each other pain. She felt it was best if they left everything in the past and moved forward. She had even told Oliver this once, but he just looked at her wistfully, and she never brought it up again.
Oliver spoke again, bringing Felicity back. "I don't trust him."
"I know. But I do." Felicity didn't know what she could do to make Oliver trust Barry. "Honestly, Oliver, I'm tired of having this same conversation with you over and over again. What's done is done. Barry knows. He hasn't said anything to anyone and he never will. If you can't trust me to know that I would never do something to intentionally hurt you, well then, it's best if we do end this now. Tell Diggle if he wants to reach me, he can call me."
Before Oliver had a chance to respond, Felicity had walked out of the Arrow Cave, leaving Oliver to his own thoughts.
Now back at her apartment, Felicity started to think that maybe it wasn't such a good idea to just walk out on Oliver like that. But she was just so frustrated. For the life of her, she couldn't understand why Oliver was so angry at her for this. She had made rash decisions before, and she always trusted her gut in those instances. This was one of those instances where she knew without a shadow of a doubt Barry wouldn't say a word. So she knew there had to be another reason, one Oliver still hadn't told her.
And then it hit her like a ton a bricks. Maybe Oliver was jealous of Barry and was just using the whole "you told Barry" thing as an excuse. Because if she recalled, ever since Barry arrived in Starling City, Oliver always rolled his eyes or had a look of disgust anytime Barry would give Felicity a compliment or touch her in an inexplicable way.
Felicity put on a tank top and boy shorts and went into her bathroom to brush her teeth and get ready for bed. Felicity beamed at the prospects. Could Oliver actually have feelings for her? Could her feelings be reciprocated? With this epiphany, Felicity felt she and Oliver would need to talk about this once and for all, putting everything out on the line. Whatever happened after that, she could handle. She just didn't want to go through life wondering 'what if', and if they both felt the same way, why not take a shot at it? She decided that she'd go to the lair tomorrow to discuss it with Oliver once and for all.
As she was rising up from the sink from washing and drying her face, she glanced up at the mirror and was startled to see Oliver through the reflection.
"For the love of God, you scared me!" She placed her hand on her chest, her heart beating a mile a minute. As far as she knew, Oliver didn't even know where she lived.
"I'm sorry, Felicity. I didn't mean to startle you." Oliver stood by the doorway tentatively.
"W-What are you doing here?" At that moment, she became painfully aware that she was only in her tank top and teeny tiny boy shorts. No bra. She immediately wanted run and hide as far away from Oliver as she could.
Oliver smirked. "A good friend once told me, 'If it's on the internet, I can find it.'"
Felicity smiled at the saying she told him a short while ago. "Anyway, I wanted to talk to you and I didn't want to wait until tomorrow. It's too important." Oliver had a look of pure intensity in his eyes that Felicity had seen only one other time. When she wanted him to promise her he would return before he went out searching for the man in the skull mask.
"Oliver, if this is about Ba-"
"It's not about that. There are things that you said earlier that had me thinking. And first, I want to apologize to you for the way I acted earlier. I shouldn't have snapped at you that way."
"Wow. Oliver Queen is apologizing. There's a first time for everything," said Felicity. She was relieved that he'd apologized and that the fight they'd had earlier in the day was just a blimp in the road.
"You can say that again. That's actually what I want to talk to you about. Wanna go in the living room?" Oliver didn't wait for Felicity's response. He walked into Felicity's living and admired the art work she had hanging on the wall. He sat down in the love seat and waited for Felicity.
Felicity snuck in her bedroom and grabbed a bra. There was absolutely no way she was going to talk with Oliver with no bra on. There were just certain lines she wouldn't cross.
Felicity went into the living room and sat down next to Oliver, placing her right leg under the other.
All of a sudden, Felicity felt so shy and nervous being this close to Oliver. Sure, they'd been very close before. But with the revelations that she thought were true, it just made it all the more…real.
"So…..what do you want to talk about?" Felicity bit her lip, waiting.
'The thing is…you were right. It was just more than you telling Barry about me." Oliver sighed and pressed on. "I know I'm not the only one who's sensed the change between us."
Felicity froze. Was this it? Was he finally going to admit his feelings? And more importantly, was she going to admit hers as well?
"Felicity, even before I revealed to you I was Arrow, there was just something about you. I couldn't get you out of my head. I feel like you're the only person I can truly be myself around. No one has ever gotten me the way you do. Maybe it's because we're friends, and I've never had a woman as truly just friends first. It's either been a relationship or sex. No in between." Oliver tentatively reached out and touched Felicity's cheek. Felicity couldn't believe this was happening, couldn't believe what he was saying.
"And well, with you around, I don't feel like I have to go at it alone. You make me want to be a better man, a better friend, a better brother, a better son, a better hero, a better everything. It's like…it's like you're the piece of me I didn't know I wanted. Didn't know I needed. I know this may frighten you, but I can't hide my feelings anymore. I've tried so hard to. For fear that what I do might put you in harm's way. But the truth is, I want to have a reason to fight for you and keep you safe as well as Starling City. I don't wanna let that pass me by because I know that what I feel is real. And I want to be with you. You bring happiness into my life when I thought that would never be possible every again. I thought I lost every on the island, but I gained it back and much more the day I met you. "
Felicity was speechless. Oliver Queen just admitted he wanted to be with her. With HER. She just stared at him. She didn't know what to say. No man had ever said these types of things to her. She was downright flabbergasted.
Oliver broke her reverie. "Felicity? Say something. I know I just poured all this on you, but I want to know how yo-"
Before she could stop herself, she leaned over quickly and kissed him on the lips. It felt so good to have his lips on hers. The kiss was easy and light at first, and then became deeper and fervent. Felicity was on top of Oliver and they were both swimming in excitement. Oliver put his tongue in Felicity's mouth and she let out a light gasp. Oliver's hands curved around her waist, his hand traveling under her shirt. Felicity shivered at his touch. His hands then moved down her thighs and her butt. He was thankful she had on boy shorts because it made it that much easier for him to caress it. Felicity ran her fingers through Oliver's hair and caressed his neck. They both were breathing heavily as things had progressed quickly. Before things went much further, Felicity pulled back.
"Is that a good response for you?" Felicity attempted to calm herself down, but she was still breathing heavily and it became increasingly hot in her living room.
"Perfect response." Oliver rose up on his elbows and pushed Felicity's hair behind both her ears. He grabbed her face. "That felt so good, finally putting everything it out in the open. I don't ever want hide anything else from you." He looked her face up and down in a way that made Felicity blush.
"Oliver, the truth is I've felt the same about you. But I know you take being the Arrow seriously and I know you wouldn't want to put me in danger if we….got together. But the thing is, I've been in danger before and we weren't together. I can handle it if you can." Felicity sighed. Never in her wildest dreams did she think she would get the chance to tell Oliver these things. She felt even more alive.
"I want to be able to. I can. We can do it…together." Oliver laughed softly. "I can't believe it took Barry freaking Allen for me to finally tell you how I really feel. I'm sorry it took so long."
"You're just as stubborn as I am." Felicity placed a small peck on Oliver's lips. "There is one thing I'm worried about though." She looked at Oliver hesitantly.
"I know." It was the elephant in the room. "Laurel. Listen, you don't have to worry about that. It's been over between us for a while now. We tried to make it work again, but we're too toxic for each other. Too much has gone on between us, and though I'll consider her a friend from here on out, she's my past. You're who I want in my present and in my future." Oliver leaned up and gave Felicity a forehead kiss. She sighed peacefully.
That was music to Felicity's ears. She'd been afraid that she could never compare to the illustrious Laurel Lance, but she realized she's her own person. She's Felicity Smoak, a catch in her own right. Felicity smiled at Oliver. "What do you think Diggle is going to think about this?"
Oliver smirked. "I can hear it him now, 'It's about damn time!'