Disclaimer: WE are VERY, VERY sorry to Luna for practically stealing her idea, we wanted to do a more detailed account of Mary sues and apologise a thousand times if she thinks we're copycats…meow
The Introduction
We've written the introduction! Time for a tea break!
Welcome to the wonderfully magnificent guide to how not to write a non-sue. We will be funnelling the following aspects into your brain:
(JAm, quick, go fetch the funnel!)
Names
Appearance
Movement and Elegance
Speech
Descriptions
Personality
Other characters
Garry Stues, I mean, good male characters…
Triggers and Hissy fits
Self-esteem issues
Tips and Extras
Afterword
CouldBe: TEA BREAK!
JAm: No wait, we've forgotten something! You go get the biscuits ready, I'll be there in a moment.
We hope you enjoy and use the information we give you in this brilliant guide, bladiblaadiblaadiblaa.
CouldBe: I'm guessing you improvised…?
JAm: I was TRYING to…
HOW DARE YOU RUSH THE INTRO LIKE THAT!
JAm: who on EARTH are YOU?
CouldBe: and what about our tea break?
I AM YOUR MANAGER/SLAVEDRIVER!
CouldBe: I'm pretty sure slavery is illegal these days…
JAm: *kicks CB* Uh…yes Really tall, fat dude with studs in his nose, a bald head, brown teeth, tattoos up his arms, a whip in his one hand and a knife in the other…
CouldBE: I. WANT. MY. TEABREAK!
Real author's notes: since the story will be riddled with our pointless comments, we have been driven to putting the REAL author's notes into italics. We apologise to anyone who is inconvenienced by this and blame it entirely on our new manager/slave driver who, by the way, writes wonderful *ehem* Stue fics.
If you liked it REVIEW! And if you didn't REVIEW ANYWAY! And if you don't have an opinion, REVIEW TWICE!