Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Kishimoto Masashi does. I just own the 15 number list.
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A/N This is an edited version, gotta fix the mistakes! ;]
"Muwahahahaha" – Speaking
'Hehehehehe' – Thinking
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The sun was rising brightly in the sky waking up latecomers to start their day, but one little boy, or should I say gennin, was already up and wondering what to do with his day. He had bright blond spiky hair, an orange jumpsuit screaming 'Kill Me Kill Me!', and a forehead protector with a leaf insignia in the middle. The boy's name was Uzumaki Naruto and he was bored.
Naruto had no training today, his team was busy, his Jiji was busy, and Iruka was busy.
Naruto was bored.
And a bored Naruto was a scary Naruto.
The last time Naruto was bored, he snuck into the Hyuuga compound, stole all their underwear and plastered them to the Hokage tower in the village with the words 'Didn't know the Hyuuga Clan was so kinky!' And he didn't even get caught or punished because there was no solid proof he did it, although everyone knew it was him.
"Maaan…I'm boooooorrreeeddd." Naruto exclaimed as he stared around his apartment.
"What to do…Hmm…Hmm…AHA!" As he shouted he jumped from his couch and ran to his dresser of prank materials (Yes a WHOLE dresser). "Dung bombs…neon orange and neon pink paint bombs…duct tape…whip cream...shaving cream…plastic wrap…water balloons…Icha Icha Paradise…wrapping paper…paint cans…toilet paper…glue…feathers…fake blood…AHA! Here it is!" He brought out a piece of paper with the title of 'Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity'!
'I never got around to completing this list…' Thought Naruto while reading over the list.
At lunch time, sit in a restaurant in a henge of a high ranked missing-nin and see if a) Anbu come to arrest you and b) every customer and employee alike run away in fear.
Page yourself over the intercom as the Hokage. Don't disguise your voice.
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want ramen with that.
Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'In' as the Hokage.
Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks in the Jounin lounge. Once everyone has gotten over their coffee addictions, switch to espresso.
In the memo field of all your checks, write 'For smuggling diamonds' as the Hokage.
Finish all your sentences with 'In accordance with the prophecy.'
Don't use any punctuation.
As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat with your team, with a serious face.
Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day while grading papers as a sensei at the academy.
When you win the jackpot, scream 'Holy mother of KAMI! We're all gonna DIE!' as Tsunade.
When leaving the Torture & Interrogation (T&I) building, start running through the village yelling 'Run for your lives, the Interrogators are loose!'
Tell your shinobi in a meeting, 'Due to the economy, we're going to have to let some of you go' as the Hokage.
Whenever you can't think of anything else to say, grin widely, bug out your eyes and say 'I have Kunai.'
"Well…since I have nothing to do, might as well complete it. I have only done three…Ah those were good times, good times." Naruto grinned and laughed evilly.
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Elsewhere
"Brrrr…" Chilled a chuunin guard at the gates. "Did you get chills down your spine?"
"Yeah…What was that?" The chuunin's partner replied.
"No idea. But I haven't felt like that since Naruto became a gennin." Both chuunin's paled thinking…'We're soooo screwed!'
(~.~)
Let the games begin!
A/N Please read and review. Tell me what you think, any reviews would be appreciated as well as criticisms.
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