"Pain is inevitable but Suffering is optional" – Anon

Okay, so I'll admit I was wrong. None of them have changed over the summer. You'd think I'd know by now. My bad. I can't help it. I'm optimistic for a Slytherin. This might be the start of my seventh year, but I'll still hold out hope that one of them will grow a nice bone in their bodies.

Oh hang on, they're laughing. What did he say? Oh never mind, he probably just told a story of how he hexed someone. Cue laugh.

"haha"

Yup that sounded authentic.

So a small explanation is probably in order. I am Freya Callis. You've probably never even heard of a Callis before, I'll bet you've heard of the other branch of my family, the Blacks. I'm a cousin to Sirius and Regulus. Though obviously I only speak to Regulus, what with being in Slytherin and all.

Not that I'm a bad person, far from it actually. According to the Sorting Hat I'm incredible ambitious and that old hat is not wrong. I am ambitious. I want to change the world (for the better), and I don't care who I have to fight to do it.

Only... I don't ever voice my opinions or stick up for myself... or anyone else. So, maybe it's going to take some time, before I change the world, a very long time. Especially when all the Slytherins I'm just like them. Scrap that, everyone thinks I'm just a typical Slytherin. I get pushed into doing things I don't want to do. Peer Pressure. Yup... peer pressure, and the fact that I don't have back bone. I really do not want to get beaten to a pulp, just because I actually like people. So that's my little secret.

Oh, now my "comrades" are looking at me.

"Earth to Freya, are you paying attention." Snaps Kelley Riches, whilst waving a hand in front of my face.

"I am now. You know what I'm like when I'm tired." Cue fake yawn. Oh, please just let me escape to my bed. Let me escape.

"Yeah, yeah. You always zone out when you're tired." She waves her hand dismissively and I take it as my cue to leave. Thank Merlin I escaped.

oooOOOooo

Everyone always talks about how comfy these Hogwarts beds are. I must have the only bed in the whole castle that has a dodgy spring. Right in the middle of where my back is. Blast my luck.

I defiantly cannot sleep like this. Well, while I can't sleep, I should probably describe what I look like. There's not really much to describe. I've just turned 17, I'm about 5ft6", average weight and plain looking. I look like my Mother. Short (well shoulder length really) choppy brown hair and normal blue eyes. Average looking and that's the way I like it, people tend not to notice me too much. That's a handy talent if you don't like to be noticed.

Well, that's me and I still can't sleep. I'm not going to bother describing my friends, purely because they do not really exist. These other Slytherins are just background characters. I suppose at an absolute push I could call Severus a friend. Though, really he is just someone I hang around so I don't look to lonely. I think the feelings mutual too, since he never asks me to leave... just never talks. Not really at least.

Oh Blast, if I balance really carefully of the edge like this and hold on for dear life, I might just be able to avoid the spring and sleep.

oooOOOooo

Yay, I got two hours sleep and I get to start my day with double potions. Oh joy for me. Potions is dull, very very dull. I am quite good at it, I just never wanted to do it. My parents thought that it might be a good idea, because (and I quote) "It's quite like cooking." Cooking! Can you believe it, not even out of Hogwarts yet and they're trying to turn me into the perfect housewife, like my mum. Though she never cooks or cleans. That's what the house elf is for. Blast.

Huh, well would you look at that, I have potions with Sirius again this year. Along with all his friends. I was so hoping we would have Potions with the Ravenclaws. Sirius and his bunch do not like me much. This is understandable really, they're Gryffindors and I'm a Slytherin, it's the way things are.

I wish Sirius would talk to me again. Before Hogwarts we were the best of friends. The three of us ( I am counting Regulus as well) hardly ever spent a moment away from each other. I miss him.

Okay, just take a deep breath, walk past him and stand on the other side of the door, far far away from him, and hope Prof. Slughorn arrives quickly.

"Oi, Snivellus!"

And now it begins.

Looking up, I see Severus Snape walking down the steps toward us, while James and Sirius move to block his path. Okay, just close my eyes and pray that the Prof arrives before James whips his wand out (which we all should know, he is very prone to doing).

The potions lab door opens.

Oh, praise be to Merlin! I could hug Prof Slughorn. I wouldn't though. Nope. Not ever. Not for a 1000 Galleons.

Right, I'll just take a front bench and I won't have to look at Sirius this year. Walking to the front I grab Severus' robe sleeve and drag him with me. Hey, if I just have to do potions, might as well have a potions genius sitting with me.

Erm... Okay, front bench was a bad idea. Sirius and James are right behind me. Now Severus is glaring at me out of the corner of one eye. Though I may be impressed how he can do that, I still have to blast me luck.

Prof Slughorn starts parading around in front of the class. "Right, now students I would launch in to a long speech about your NEWTs, but instead, how about a little competition to start of the new year."

Everyone in the class perks up a bit and begins whispering amongst themselves. Prof Slughorn does this quite often and the rewards are always worth the trouble. Though I have not personally won, ever. Even on that rare occasion when Severus and Lily Evans were off sick.

Leaning towards Severus I whisper, "So, do you think you can win this one?"

Severus smirks, "Sure no matter what it is, I'll more than likely nail it. It's almost a shame that I won't be helping you. Almost."

"Aww!" I whined, "That's just mean spirited."

"Miss Callis if you would kindly allow me to continue." Prof Slughorn gives me a pointed look, and I can hear Severus stifle a laugh. "At the front of the room there are three potions, you are to come up in rows and inspect them. Once you've come to a decision as to what they are, go back to your seats, write it down on a parchment and... Attempt to make one of them. Now I feel I must warn you they are very advanced potions." The Prof looks around the room with a smug expression.

"Huh, this old game again." Says Severus with a lazy drawl, one that is reserved for when he's bored. So I encounter it a lot.

Smiling I jump from my stool and go to inspect the potions with Severus close behind. "Oh, you felt the need to actually get up and inspect the potions? They really must be something." Severus just scoffs.

Ooo... this one smells nice, "umm... old books... ginger and orange... and... forests?"

Severus shots me a odd look, "You know that's Amortentia right? You might like to keep your voice down about what you smell. And seriously Fray, old books?" He says the last bit with a crooked grin. I just stick out my tongue. That's a good reply.

"SeeeEEeeev, I'm confused... Do I stir this left or right?" Pleading always works with Severus. Ha, did you catch the sarcasm there?

"Aww, poor ickle Freya doesn't know left from right"

I turn around to see Sirius smirking at me, "Shut it Sirius." Okay, maybe that's not a great, quick witted response, but who cares.

Sighing I turn back to my work. Yup, this lesson is defiantly going to be the bane of my life.

oooOOOooo

That first day of lessons was dull. So incredibly dull, though Hogwarts always is for me. You just move from one lesson to another, keep your head down and no one pays attention.

Oh, wait, there was that few minutes between lessons where I very nearly stood up for some Hufflepuff. She was being harassed by a Slytherin, and then I noticed said Slytherin was in my year so I decided against it. It happens a lot. I get so close to actually helping someone then I chicken out. Then I'm racked with guilt afterwards, it's even worse on those rare occasions when I'm intimidated to actually joining the Slytherins in their "game". I actually cried afterwards. Yeah, you read right, cried. I'm slightly ashamed.

The only other thing I am ashamed of is the fact that I don't have the same kind of strength as Sirius. If I did then... well then maybe I would have been placed in Gryffindor too.

My life seems to be full of "ifs" and "maybes".

oooOOOooo

If I keep my mouth full of food then no one can expect me to talk. Ha-ha. Excellent plan.

"Ah, yes. Father did mention something about that before I left. They are actually planning to cut the Centaur land in the south east by 50%."

Right, now I know what you're thinking, "It's not polite to eaves drop Freya". And you're right, but these Slytherins all have family in high positions, so, they all have inside information. "Why do you need inside information?" I hear you cry.

Well, it's another secret of mine. I'm an avid Equal Rights campaigner, at heart at least.

Yes, yes, a Slytherin who WANTS everyone to be equal. Odd I know, you're probably questioning why I was even put in Slytherin. Well, as I have already said, I am really ambitious. Really really ambitious. Changing the world, now that's a dream and one I hope to keep to.

I know that I never do anything at Hogwarts, never express any opinions never help anyone, even I question whether I will manage my goal, but there's one thing that keeps me going.

Letters.

Ever since 4th year I have been writing letters. To the Daily Prophet. I say letters; they're more opinionated essays attempting to expose the lies and racism that are inherent in the Ministry and its policies. My letters actually get published! I write about once a month and my letters get put in their own column, it's really quite an honor. The column is titled Ministerial Anti-Venom, after the heading of my first letter.

Though I am very proud of my own column, I have never signed with my own name. That would be classed as suicide I think. It's all anonymous. I do sign it with something, . I picked that name after reading a book I found in the Muggle section of the library. She was an early 1900's Muggle rebel, fighting for the right for women to vote. An idol, or as close as I can get to one. She had the courage to do a lot more than just write letters.

But those letters are the only thing in my life that I am actually proud of.

"Aren't you going to join them Fray?" Asked Severus, snapping me out of my reflection. "They're trying to figure out who this Pankhurst is, it has to be some one prominent in the Ministry to have all the information He has."

He has, of course a Slytherin would never assume that a woman, a lowly woman, would ever hold such opinions.

"Does that matter? Do they really think that it will stop the letters if the person is known?"

Severus pondered this a second, taking another bite of his dessert, "They believe that this person has something to hide. They, or in actuality their parents, might be able to use it to quiet this Pankhurst. Though they might just decide to use their usual method of kill or torture."

I don't think I will ever get used to someone so casually using the words kill and torture in a conversation. To be honest I don't think I want to get used to it yet.

"Sev, don't you see how the people react when one of those letters are published? Even if they do manage to silence Pankhurst, there'll be any number of people to replace them." I quickly shovel ice cream in my mouth, so I don't say much more. I'm always so paranoid that someone will figure me out. Though I would kind of like to see the looks on every ones faces when they find out Pankhurst is a Slytherin, a female Slytherin, campaigning for equal rights.

oooOOOooo

Damn this bed spring! That is it, tomorrow I will complain to Prof Slughorn. Definitely. If I can remember.

Gathering my things, I sneak past the other girls and down the stairs to sleep on one of the common room couches. On the last step I look up to see a dark figure leaning over the fire.

"Regulus?"

The figure turned slightly to give me a small nod. Taking the couch close to the fire, I wrap the blanket around myself.

"Regulus? Are you okay?"

He sat down crossed legged and lent back on his arms, still staring at the fire, giving me only a profile view.

"I've just... I've just been thinking." Small hints of worry began to appear on his face; even the shadows caused by the fire and his hair couldn't hide them. I knew where this was heading. The Dark Lord had been far more active over the summer holidays. Both of our parents had taken it upon themselves to push His views on us. It wasn't all that bad for me. All they really expect from me is to marry a nice Pureblood Slytherin and have lots of sons. I know it was worse for Regulus. They flat out stated that he should join the Dark Lord.

Poor Regulus tries so hard to make up for his brothers "treachery", that he would do anything for his parents. Even if it is to go as far as joining the Dark Lord.

I don't think Regulus would ever think the same as me, at least I have never seen any sign of it from him. I think Regulus would rather stay neutral, though he isn't really given a choice in anything.

We've never spoken about these things, but when you spend all your time staying out of conversations, you end up with more time just listening and watching. You learn a lot about a person that way. It's dangerous, even at Hogwarts it's dangerous to voice negative opinions about the Dark Lord, but you can still learn what people are really thinking by watching them.

"'bout anything in particular Reg?" I questioned. This is where he says he's worried about starting NEWTs and we pretend it's true.

"Parents, school, the Dark Lord... Sirius." He spoke the last word so quietly that I don't think I was supposed to hear it, I should just feign innocence. This is defiantly not going the way I thought.

"I guess... it's really such an honor for you. The Dark Lord so willing to accept you I mean." I cringed the whole time he said, thankful that he couldn't see, but hoping it wasn't prevalent in my voice.

"Yeah, you would think so but-"

"Reg! Don't finish that!" When he began to speak I dived down next to him and placed my hand over his mouth. "It's too dangerous. You can't say or do anything to get you noticed." My voice changed to a hurried whisper.

Regulus slapped my hand away and held it to the ground in between us. He turns to look at me directly for the first time; I had to stifle a gasp. His look, his eyes, they were so cold, so determined his usually stormy eyes seem frozen. "It doesn't matter what I say or what I think Fray. I know that I need to correct Sirius' dishonor. If joining the Dark lord will do that... If joining the Dark Lord will make my parents really notice me. Then I will give over my soul to him." Regulus sighs and looks away for a brief second, loosening his death tight grip on my hand slightly, "Sirius is acting like a child. Thinking he can have everything his way. Ignoring the fact that people have to suffer for the choices he makes.... he gets to choose... And Fray, I'll be fine; you're the one that needs to worry. You never seem to join the others in anything, you always seem so uncomfortable around them. You've never shown any interest in any of the male Purebloods. After Sirius, any one with the name Black is automatically under suspicion. You're the one who needs to watch themselves Fray." And with that he let go of my hand and headed up to the boys dormitory, leaving me there, slightly in shock.

Okay breathe Fray. Just get up, sit back on the couch and try and sleep the shock off.

He hadn't actually said it, but he knew. He knew what I really thought, what I really feel about all this. Am I that obvious? If so I need to try harder to hide... to blend in. I need to concentrate on being a real Slytherin.

And Regulus, he flat out stated it. He is going to join the Dark Lord.

I'm sure the room just got colder. Biting my lip, a purely nervous gesture, I pull the blanket closer around me.

I can't let Regulus join Him. I just can't let Reg throw away his live like that.

He did sound somewhat bitter about Sirius, jealousy maybe? If that's true then maybe I can find a way of helping him by talking to Sirius. Yup, that'll work. All I would have to do is convince Sirius to talk to me (after years of being ignored by him), after getting him alone. Then tell him he needs to talk to his estranged brother, "It's a matter of live and death! But I can't tell you what exactly". Oh yeah that's a brilliant plan, it will defiantly work.

Need a better plan.

There is no way I will be able to sleep now, far to stressed.

You know your life has hit a low point when to relax, you write a letter about Centaur Land rights

A/N: Okay so thanks for reading the first chapter~! Please feel free to leave reviews~! and I promise that it will get far more interesting~