The red string of life

Under blue skies.

"Do you belive in life after death, Ladd?"

I glanced over at the teen sitting beside me, soon to be a young man. He turned 18 in a few weeks. The wind liftet his blond locks and showed off his crystal blue eyes. I watched them with amusement, as I had allways though they were beautiful. He had a really heroic face. Something that didn't match his character. He looked over at me, with a slight smile and curved eyebrows.

"Nah… if your dead, your dead. Nothin' more to say bout' that."

I didn't know why I had asked. I allready knew the answer, I knew him too well for that. He leaned back, facing his back to the huge oak tree behind us. I did the same, feeling how relaxing and clean the air was.

"It's nice, isn't it? On the country side I mean. It's quiet."

Ladd nooded slightly, and the straw in his mouth jump up and down, following his movements.

"I guess… but I think I like it better in the city. More people, more… things to do. I get easily bored you know?"

He grinned and faced me. There was a twitch in the corner of his eye, that I didn't really like. He showed of his all too white teeth in a glee that got wider by the second. I swollowed, and I think he noticed. That made me even more nervous.

"Yeah, Manhattan suits me better I think. You would like it as well, if you bothered to pass by and say hello once in a while."

I turned against the blue sky above us, gazing out at the green landscape. I didn't answer. Ladd scratched the back of his head and massaged his neck, before he stood up. He held the shot gun he had been cleaning this entire time in his left arm. As I watched him, I thought that this young man had grown up way too fast.

"You're going allready?"

I asked and stood up as well. He scratched the back of his neck and nooded softly.

"Yeah. Better get back to civilization. I got a few things to take care of as well. Some… people to take care of."

Ladd raised his shot gun and pointed it at my troath, his wide glee decorating his face. I swollowed and my hand twitched by the urge to push the weapon away. But I refused to let it. Instead I stared back at him, feeling the cold metallic tip of the rifle touch my skin. The man in front of me narrowed his dark blue eyes.

"You afraid to die, Dune?"

I was starteled by his question, in a wierd way I couldn't explain. I seached desperately for the right words. My tongue clicked, and words rolled from my lips.

"Yes… I will honestly say that I am. I really, really don't want to die yet."

Ladd raised his thick eyebrows and pushed the rifle harder against my troath.

"Yeah, that's what I thought. If you had answered nothing but the truth, I would have pulled the trigger."

He lowered the gun and placed it on his shoulder. I felt sweath run down my spine. I realised that I was really afraid of this man, which I had known since grade school. Why, I didn't know. Probably ever since Layla died, I had felt that the presence around him was allways tence and dark. He had allways had his black humor and wierd 'urges', but before he was quite light hearted about them. But now he was dead serious. All the time. Underneath his playful, homicidal and sadistic shell, laid a painful and heavy burden that would never go away. Ladd's eyes would allways shine. But not as much as before, sparkling, innocent and determinded. That was what sadened me the most. He would have deep wrinkles in his forehead and grey hear before he turned twenty. Sometimes I thought that his outgoing, coinfident attitude was all an act to forget his pain. I would allways think of this when I saw him smile. It was a real smile indeed, but somehow his expression was a little off. He would never really smile with his eyes. What really made me depressive, was that no one else but me would be able to see this in him. They would see the act he put on, the fake, the person he had replaced himself with. They would never be able to see the real darkness and hollowness inside Ladd's heart the way I could. And I doubted that anyone would enjoy his company the way he was now. If they ever lived to be in his company, that is.

I cought myself staring at him with sad eyes.

"What're you're lookin' so suicidal for?"

The man asked, watching me with a stright face. I tilted my head and smiled carelessly.

"Nuthin'…"

Ladd gased out at the sky again, at the three tops swaying in the wind. The straw in his mouth fell to the ground.

"Well… guess I'll see ya around."

He smiled a queer smile and sighted.

"I'm going to New York next week. Meet you there?"

Ladd nooded shortly and turned his back at me.

"It's a deal then. Let's play poker again."

He made a gesture with his hand to say good bye.

"Bye then."

He didn't look back at me. He took fast steps over the grass field, the wind grabbing his hair and pushed it to the side. The shot gun danced across his right shoulder. I kept watching his back, like I didn't want him to leave yet. Suddenly I got the wierd feeling that I would never see him again if I didn't see his crystal blue eyes once more. I shouted as loud as I could, to bear my voice past the wind.

"Ladd! Ladd, don't die!"

He stopped as he was confused.

"You hear me! Don't die!"

Then he glanced back at me and smiled. His ice blue eyes met my dark brown ones.

"Of course not, shit head!"

Then he carefully waved his hand at me, and for a slight second it reminded me of the old days. I smiled pleased by his expression and waved back. I realised that he had given me new hope, that meaby the smal glip of light that was left in him would finally let loose one day. Brake free from the prison he had locket in his heart. Someone just needed to push the right buttons and find the right key.

The key to his heart.

I don't really have a reason to be writing this, I just wanted to bring some of Ladd's past into the light. And meaby the couse of his madness. I don't know.