TITLE: Dark Portents (3/3)
AUTHOR: Master Yo-Gurt
ARCHIVE: SithChicks, Fanfiction.net, my page at The Hidden Realm , (http://darkpine.net/HiddenRealm/mm/my.html), all others please ask.
CATEGORY: AU, h/c, angst
PAIRING/CHARACTERS: Mace/Danya, m/f
SEQUEL/PREQUEL: Sequel to "Better late than never/Beyond what we are"
STATUS: complete
RATING: NC-17 for sexual contents and violence
WARNING: Graphic violence, rape
SUMMARY: Mace and Danya have to come to terms with the aftermath of a brutal attack on them
DISCLAIMER: All bow down before God Lucas and provide him with revenues from his SW universe till the end of the world as we know it!
NOTES: This is very dark, so if you are squicked easily, stay away. Muchas smoochas to my beta Nia!!! All the chocolate-covered Jedi and , especially, gladiators, to you!
FEEDBACK: PLEASE, I'll die without it! At quigon_jinn21@hotmail.com
// thoughts //
**********
Master Windu indeed had been in one of the Council's sessions when Obi-Wan was allowed into the Council chamber and requested that he immediately accompany him to the
training gyms. The session was postponed, and Obi-Wan was hard pressed to keep up behind the Councilor who was literally flying down the hallways and down the stairs to
reach the training area.
When he arrived in the hall the incident had taken place in, he was appalled to see Danya lying prostrate in front of Master Jinn, still as a corpse and not moving a muscle. Mace
ran to his Padawan, brushing Qui-Gon aside and kneeling onto the floor himself, scooping up his apprentice who started to shiver as he took her into his arms, enveloping her in
his robe while he rested his chin on her head.
"Dany, oh my Dany, what happened? It's good now, shhh, shhh, I'm here, Dany!" Mace was trying to soothe her mind by reaching out to her through the Force, attempting to
connect to his Padawan through their mental link that existed ever since their first night together.
He almost recoiled in horror at what he found: her mind was tortured by seemingly never-ending replays of Rehma's assault on her. He saw himself, or rather how his Padawan
had helplessly witnessed his slow descend into unconsciousness; saw himself being cradled in her arms as she had tried to stay with him to save him from death. Her whole
mind revolved around that traumatic event. He tried to call her name in her mind, but the instant he did, Danya started a soft scream, begging him to stop. All he could do was
simply holding her, brushing his hand over her hair, letting her acoustically hear he was there and that there was nothing to fear any longer. After a while he looked up at
Qui-Gon and silently voiced "How?", which prompted the other Master to look at Obi-Wan.
"You haven't told him yet?" Qui-Gon was astonished about the apparent negligence of his Padawan.
"Master, there wasn't time for me to do so. Master Windu was insistent to come here immediately after I told him Danya had … 'snapped' ". Obi-Wan looked miserable, how
else could he have described to Windu what had happened to his Padawan?.
"It's alright, Obi-Wan. Please bring Danya back to her quarters, I will have to talk with Master Windu" He slightly smiled at Obi-Wan to reassure the young man. As Mace
helped Danya up from the floor, he felt her almost clinging to him, as if she didn't want to let go of him.
"I'll be with you very shortly, Dany! Now, go with Obi-Wan and wait for me in our quarters". Mace let his finger gently run over her cheek and she calmly a bit as she looked
at him, nodded, then bowed to both Masters and followed Obi-Wan out of the gym.
It was time for two friends to talk, and what Qui-Gon had to say to his former companion needed some tact.
"Mace, I know how hard the situation with Rehma has so far been for you and your Padawan. I believe she is doing all she can to get over her trauma, but I am wondering if
help by people who aren't as close to her as you are will be enough to prevent her from giving in to her feelings of hate and …"
Windu whirled around at that accusation thrown into his face.
"Qui-Gon, are you telling me I'm neglecting her well-being? I have done what I can to be there for her, we have gone through meditations to ease the burden of the memory that
she carries, and don't for a minute believe I'm callous in letting her try and work through this herself!"
He was clearly upset, and started to pace the floor, arms crossed in front of his chest. Qui-Gon knew that in some instances it took a long time to heal wounds that refused to
close themselves.
"Mace, what I'm saying is that she doesn't need to see Master Yaddle or anybody else, but that you yourself need to spend more time with her. More time than is possible
with the responsibilities you have in the Council right now!"
Boom – that hit home! Mace dropped his arms and came to stand right in front of his friend's face, about to say something harsh, but then thought better of it and simply let
out a big sigh of frustrated energy.
He walked over to a bench right next to a wall and sat down, throwing his hands up in the air in utter frustration.
"So, great Master Jinn, and pray tell what do you suggest I do now? Step down from the Council?" Even though, now that he thought about this possibility, Mace was only
too aware that if it took that much he would not hesitate to do it for his Danya.
Qui-Gon sensed that Mace's suggestion wasn't as far fetched as it had sounded in the first second, so he sat down next to him and put a hand onto his shoulder, squeezing it
lightly.
"If that is what you need to do … yes, step down from the Council, only temporarily. Somebody else can take your place for a short while. The Jedi, I am pretty sure, will not
cease to exist simply because Master Windu took some time off to take care of some deeply personal matters. They will understand, they all sympathize with your and
Danya's situation, even if they don't know the whole truth about the two of you." For a long moment Mace remained silent, merely staring down onto the floor, letting Jinn's
words sink in. It sounded possible, it sounded logical, and he knew if he wanted to save his Padawan as much as himself, he better do exactly what his friend had suggested.
"And who do you think will take the vacant place on the Council while I'll be absent, temporarily, hm? The Council needs twelve members for a quorum, the Code …" A tiny
snort escaped him, and he noticed a mischievous little grin on Qui-Gon's face.
"I believe my Obi-Wan has teased me long enough that I could be one of those "exalted" twelve that decide the fate of the Jedi and, dare I say, the Republic?" Another huff from
Master Windu who sighed, but this time more as a sign of relieve. He shook his head in mock resignation, a tiny laughter playing around his tired eyes as he looked at his friend
again.
"I think they will love your company, even if it'll be for a limited time only! I don't know whom to pity more – them or you, old friend!" With that Mace stood up and held
his hand out for Qui-Gon.
"It's a deal, then, and I'll promise not to aggravate Master Rancisis too much!" With a hearty laugh Qui-Gon reached for Mace's hand and stood up, and together the two men
left the hall.
**********
Coruscant didn't have many localities left that still were able to support any of the original wildlife the planet once was so famed for.
Now it was called the "City Planet " or the biggest cesspool of the known galaxy, despite, or as some would undoubtedly argue because of, the fact that it was home to the
Republic's Senate and the main Temple of the Jedi. Almost all its beauty had been sacrificed for the sake of more, better housing for the ever-growing populace, and to
accommodate visitors from far and wide.
Although the Temple provided its occupants with a certain measure of closeness to the Living Force through its variety of gardens, they could never match the breathtaking
beauty and gracefulness that was found in the refuge of Tajefar, on the opposite side of the planet.
As promised, to himself and to his friend Qui-Gon, Master Windu had stepped down from his leadership of the Jedi Council temporarily to have more time for his Padawan's
and his own personal healing from their ordeal at the hands of Rehma Nokal. Five months had passed without a sign or word from him, the Coruscant authorities as well as Jedi
Security were sure Nokal had gotten what he wanted from Windu in the first place – revenge for the, in his very skewered vision of events, death of his Master, Dessa Mohr.
Although the physical trauma his rampage had left in both Mace Windu and his Padawan had healed some time ago, the mental and psychological ramifications were still felt by
both of them. Especially Danya had a hard time to cope with her rape and with regaining trust enough to engage in an intimate, loving relationship with her lover, Mace.
Since he had left the Council Mace had spend numerous days with his lover, trying to help her overcome her trauma by simply being together with her, helping her through
mental exercises, indulging her in her new-found eagerness for hand-to-hand combat. He had no doubt that her "obsession" with martial arts reflected her unconscious efforts to
cope with her irrational, utterly unwarranted guilt of not having been able to help her Master efficiently during their first encounter with Nokal. She never talked about that
night when she was rendered powerless by her opponent, when she was more than just physically broken and humiliated by the outcast Jedi. Mace didn't object to her new,
intense training schedule, if anything it forced him to pay closer attention to his pupil and gave him time to guide her through these exercises designed for her to sublimate her
feelings into the Force.
What he had been unsuccessful so far with was to help her overcome her fear of physical closeness with him. She endured his embraces, his fleeting, loving caresses of her face,
his attentive little kisses on her nose and mouth, but she certainly shied away from truly enjoying them. No matter what Mace tried – the ghost of Rehma's abuse and torture of
Danya was always there with them, daunting his small attempts at breaking down those barriers Danya had erected around her soul to protect it from any more harm.
He literally was at his wits end on the day they had decided to spend some time away from the Temple and in close connection with the Force, Living or otherwise, not that
there was a great difference in its various shades of appearance. Tajefar Refuge was the ideal place for such an endeavor, so Mace had packed a few things to eat and drink, a few
warm blankets and one of his favorite meditation texts before he had claimed the next best speeder, taking his surprised Padawan and sped off away from the Temple.
They had found a cool, shady place next to a small brook and spread their blankets on its bank. As they lay there, listening to the bubbling water, Danya couldn't help but
wonder at the myriad of shapes and figure that she was able to distinguish in the clouds that were slowly drifting by them. Cloud cover was virtually unknown on Coruscant
except for the immediate surroundings of places like Tajefar where the water evaporation of the existing plant life provided the necessary moisture for clouds to form.
Danya lay still and was in reverie of a particularly shaped cloud when the sound of her lover's voice startled her out of her contemplative mood.
"Dany – what would you do if tomorrow I'd go before the Council and tell them that you and I are lovers?" The surprised young woman next to the older Master turned her
head to look at the man beside her. A frown, Mace knew, was about to form on her beautiful face, but before Danya could open her mouth, Mace carried on with his
conversation.
"I know the Code is strict on the subject of an intimate relationship between a Master and an apprentice. I know my fellow Councilors would reject me for pursuing such an
idea. But I also know that if I would be given the choice between retaining my privileges within the Council, even to simply belong to the Jedi, or to pledge my love, my
devotion, my commitment to the person I love, I will always chose that person … above anything else!" To himself Mace prayed to whatever Gods there were that he'd never
actually would have to make such a choice, but if … A bit more somber he asked Danya that question.
"Don't you believe I would do that?" As he lay on his back, arms crossed behind his head, he turned his head to look at his Padawan. Her eyes were closed, as if she was afraid
to look at him as he so renewed his declaration of his love for her?
"I would give anything to be together with you, my Dany, why will you not believe that?" He tried a smile as she at last let her eyes sweep over him, but couldn't quite
prevent a frown from appearing on her brow.
"Master … we, we have talked about this so often, and more than once you have told me you'd respect my wish not to go before the Council. I do not want you to make that
kind of sacrifice for me, my love! How could I ever ask something like that from you? As much as I may want to, and you know that! The Council needs you, the Jedi need
you, Mace!" She propped herself onto her elbow and reached for him, her fingers gently brushing against his cheeks as she continued. "And if you're honest – you need them.
We both belong to them, they are all we have, all we are …" She tried to smile, but her mouth simply wouldn't make that simple adjustment. So she turned away from Mace
again, looking at the clouds once more.
"See that one? Doesn't that look like a …" Mace wasn't interested what she saw in the clouds right now.
"Danya, don't you understand? The reason why we were so much hurt by what that bastard did to you, to us, is simply because he can use his knowledge about us against our
best interests. If the Council knew, Rehma couldn't …" She curtly cut him off in mid-sentence. "Rehma would simply find another way to hurt us!" Danya fell silent again,
angry at herself for being so forceful, so stubborn on this subject. But what else could she do? To ask her Master to give up his position within the Temple for her? No, she
wouldn't do that.
"Mace, oh my sweet Master, why can't you let us simply forget about Rehma, about the Council … about everything! Please, I just want to feel you near me, that's all I want
and need right now, my love. Please!" She pleadingly looked at Mace, her hand tentatively running over his brows, then down to his chin until he gently caught it in one of his
large hands this time.
"That's what I want, Dany! Nothing more than that, but we can't have any of that if we keep hiding like two criminals, if we have to fear somebody will denounce us at any
minute so as to cause harm to us.
I want us to be together, my Dany, I need you, so much I need you and miss you when I cannot be …", he trailed off to press a warm, loving kiss onto her palm. Danya didn't
retract her hand as she so often had done in the past when Mace had made any attempts at intimacy of even the most superficial kinds with her.
Her hand stayed, and Mace rolled over onto his right side, facing Danya who had closed her eyes and held still. Very gently Mace let his mouth wander from her palm to her
wrist and then just a bit further down her forearm. He felt her shiver, just as she had always done when he started to initiate their sexual interludes in the past. Now he knew he
had to be very careful with whatever he did with her; Mace felt she was like a silken spider's web – delicate and easy to destroy with a casual, careless touch but also strong and
unpredictable, each thread connecting to something new, each touch causing it to waver and shimmer with beauty despite its fragility, an ephemeral creation that could break at
the slightest false move.
But now she held still, her breathing increasing ever so slightly.
//Mace, I … want to be yours again … but I'm … afraid!// Her mind spoke clearly to him, but he dared not answer back in kind lest he frightened her with his voice in her head,
so he simply whispered his response.
"I love you, Danya Jaydin! I love you as I have not loved anybody before in my life, and I wish I could make everything undone that has hurt you so. Oh my Dany … I miss
you so much!" While he spoke he had moved closer in small increments, always looking for signs from her that his closeness was not wanted by her, but never sensing that he
was intruding or frightening her.
He slowly got up to sit cross-legged on the blanket, a position she soon followed suit, so they sat face to face, their knees touching, their hands gracefully intertwined with one
another. For long moments they sat like this, their finger tips touching, but just barely, trying to amplify this slightest of connection with one another. Both had closed their
eyes as their hands met in mid-air, palm to palm, putting a bit of pressure against them so they could feel the other's warmth, sense the Force flowing through this almost feeble
connection between them, letting thoughts wander back and forth between them as they entered a state of light meditation.
//What can you know without fail?//
//That which is mine//
//How can something be yours alone?//
//By birth, when I create and shape something new//
//Can you share something you own?//
//I can since the Force gives me choice//
//How do you make your choice?//
//I examine, I compare, I evaluate – I chose!//
//Who would you find worthy of your choice?//
//Forever the one who gives me joy, who gives me knowledge to make it possible for me to chose – you!//
//You chose to share your own, with me?//
//I chose to share what I have created and thereby is my own – the love you have in you for me!//
//Then part of me is yours already!//
//Your are part of me//
//If I hurt … //
//I hurt as well. If I weep …//
//I weep with you!//
//We are one, … my love! My own!//
"My Dany, my love!"
As Mace whispered those last words he opened his eyes again and extricated his right hand to caress her with the barest of touches, his joy of her allowing him to do so shining
in his eyes. She knew how much she was giving him at this moment, how much he needed her – and how much she needed to know again that it was alright to be touched by a
lover in that special way.
It was now her turn to take his hand and bestow kiss after kiss into his large, calloused palm, along his long, but oh so gentle fingers, her tongue flicking out as she started to
suck at each one of them.
"Dany? What are you …"
//If you need to talk, my love … please – talk to me like this!// And with that Danya leaned over, draping her arms around her lover and seeking his mouth with her lips. Mace
was puzzled, surprised, alarmed by this sudden change in Danya's mood that all of a sudden seemed to have allowed her to jump over her own shadow of fears. Was this real,
he wondered.
//I want this, Mace, as much as you do. I need you, my love, I want to try … for you who would give up your life for me!// Still hesitant Mace returned her embrace of him, and
his hands felt her warm back, her smooth breasts for the first time in oh so many weeks. She leaned into his touch, and let her hands slide underneath his tunics to reciprocate
his explorations of her skin.
Mace still wasn't convinced, though, that they were doing the right thing, and he reluctantly stopped his hands to once more look at his Padawan.
"Danya, I will not force you to this, I don't want to hurt you with my desire or my …" But before he could finish she had him on his back, laying next to him on the blanket,
her legs entangling themselves with his, urging his hips and groin to make closer contact with her pelvis.
"My lover, please, I want this, I'm sure. I know you will never hurt me. Help me do this, for me … for us!" Her fingers opened the front of Mace's tunic, and started to lightly
touch his dark, already slightly sweaty skin. Giving up at last Mace let his head sink back onto the grass, opening his mind to hers, letting her do the exploration first, letting her
lead the way.
Her fingers were followed by her mouth in swift succession, trailing longing kisses down his neck, along his collar bone, over to his nipples and then to his stomach. He
whispered her name, his only wish now being able to return her favors in kind. He so needed to touch her again, so long had he had to live without this intimate closeness.
//Yes, my love, touch me as you wish to. No objections, no fear … // Like a mantra she repeated these words inside her head as he turned onto his side again, pushing her down
onto the blanket, effectively reversing their positions. Now it was his turn to fiddle around with the buttons of her tunic - //stupid fastenings!// - until he was able to touch her
bare skin beneath the clothes, feeling the soft, velvety hairs along her arms, the hardness of her by now erect nipples, the little wrinkles around them as he stroked them gently
and soon his hands moved further down on her, still monitoring her for any signs of objection, or fear – but there was nothing but acceptance, and pure longing. His fingers
dipped into her belly button, describing a circle on the inside and then wandering off to her flank, caressing her side, reaching underneath her leggings to stroke her thighs and
inner legs, until …
//You sure you want this, Dany? I don't …//
//Shhh, Mace … I. … LOVE. … YOU!// Her mouth found his once again, and her tongue made short work with his lips; he opened his mouth and sucked in her tongue, slightly
biting it while his hands came up her thigh once more and slowly wandered between her legs. To his great amazement he found her already wet and swollen, her eager pushes
into his exploring fingers making his moves even more urgent.
//Want you, my love, … so much! Hmmmm … //
Yes, he wanted her too, and he carefully draped himself over her body, one hand trying to get rid of her leggings, the other gently squeezing her breasts and pushing her tunics
away from her body.
His more and more urgent moves were answered by her likewise urgent thrusts with her hips while her hands took off his tunics and unfastened the band holding his leggings
up.
Where his hands had been, so his mouth was soon after, and when, after many minutes of licking and tasting her muscles and slightly biting her skin, his mouth found her spot
between her legs Danya went almost limp with pleasure.
Not entirely sure whether this was a reaction of pleasure or trepidation, he send waves of assurances to her through their mental connection, inquiries she answered with
feelings of joy, and happiness for the first time in months!
//Danya, I so much love you, my Dany!// And for the first time in many weeks his voice in her mind, his calling her name didn't cause anguish as before. Instead Danya felt
herself almost overwhelmed by a feeling of safety and of simply being loved, and she willingly opened herself and her body to her "long-lost" lover!
//Mace, I … I love … you!//
The act of him entering her was accompanied with a feeling of the Force singing around the two of them, entering both their minds, taking them away from the worldly cares and
freeing them to be within one another. Their final climax was not long in the making, but the feeling of utter contentness, of love expressed this way, of unshakeable trust
between them – that feeling of being One once again was staying with them long after their actual release had claimed their vocal chords from their screams of pleasure.
For almost an hour after completion Mace and Danya simply lay in each other's arms, holding each other, re-playing the sequence of their love-making to lengthen their mutual
afterglow. They both were content and when Mace asked her whether Rehma had been there with her when he had made love to her, to his great relief her answer was no.
"No, he wasn't there, neither in my mind nor in my heart. I can't say he won't be there any longer at all, but for today, for now, only you, love, only Mace was there" And
with the last of her spend strength she pushed herself up to give him a kiss onto his forehead, just like he used to do so often.
"Wanna stay out here tonight and let the Temple be damned?" Mace asked with a broad grin on his face.
"Yes, oh yes, Master – let the Temple be damned for tonight!" They both laughed, bundled themselves up into their blankets, as close to one another as they could, and soon
fell asleep under the watchful guidance of the Force.
TBC