Sunsets and Evening Stars
Gold, scarlet and amber mixed together in extraordinary colors all over the sky. It was a masterpiece, as if Eru himself knew that tonight of all nights needed to be beautiful. Perhaps to lessen the blow, to make everyone, myself included, forget and revel in the majesty of this sunset. But I do not want to forget, I am still angry nearly 500 years later and in a whole different world. She should have been stronger. She had everything to live for, what about her son? She could have lived for him; he was worth living for. But no, he died and so did her feä and she left that world; she laid down in field of niphredil and she…just died. I miss her…Elrohir does too.
It's harder tonight; the pain seems to gain strength each second. I realize that it has never lessened; the pain never went away. But my heart grew, every second of every day it grew with memories. The sun is setting, indigo starts to mix with the fiery colors. Tomorrow will be easier, tomorrow my heart will grow again and the memory of her will not hurt as much. I am still angry and I will be angry tomorrow. I feel guilty; perhaps I could have saved her. But I could not, no, not even her best friend could have saved her. Their fates were tied together from the moment they met. Two halves of a whole, and when one died the other would never be the same. Elrohir and I are like that, but quite. I am still independent and Elrohir would not love me if I wasn't. Yet it still hurts…
I knew her for thousands of years, ever since we were elflings. We did everything together. I was the more adventurous one and she was the gentle one. This was most likely due to our backgrounds. Greenwood, as it was known when I was born, was a marvelous and dangerous land while Imladris was a gentle and beautiful city. Even with our differences, or maybe because of them, we were best friends. We shared secrets, teased our brothers…she loved life. I never thought that she would simply give up.
I don't realize that I am crying until strong arms wrap around me, it's Elrohir. It will be better in the morning, he tells me, come inside. I nod my head and follow him inside. But not before taking one last glance at the sunset. It's nearly gone, violet gives way to deep blue and black. The stars are out tonight, beautiful silver stars. They are breathtakingly beautiful yet somehow extremely fragile and distant, just like her. Arwen! My feä cries towards the night sky. Come back to me! I miss you! And from the wind I can almost hear her voice. Indilwen, Indilwen, let me go…let me go
But I do not, I will not forget her. I will not let her go. I am not ready, not yet.