Author's note: I don't own anything or anybody, I swear. This is my first Stargate story that I've been tinkering with (along with a few others) for months. I figured I had tinkered enough and it's time to sink or swim. A big thanks to all of you D&V writers who entertain and inspire me. Forgive my mistakes-I'm charging ahead with no beta at the moment. No text editor either in uploading so hopefully this won't be one big block of text-if it looks crazy, I'll repost when I can scrounge up access to another computer. I hope you enjoy the story. QO

Chapter One: Not Part of the Plan

Daniel couldn't believe they had been so close.

According to their source, Vala had just left the tavern when Adria showed up, having won a ship from their most seasoned gambler. They had suspected her of cheating (and they were probably right) but could find no evidence of it so they had let her go. Not five minutes later, a beautiful young woman with strange powers had come looking for her "mother." She became very angry upon learning that Vala had so recently left but was able to forcefully extract Vala's "story" from a bar patron in whom Vala had drunkenly confided the night before. Vala had even revealed the information of the planet to which they wanted to lure her and Adria. Choosing the treasures of the Clava Thessara Infinitas over the domination of her mother, Adria had pursued the lead and gotten caught in their trap.

Seeing Adria walk through that stargate had elicited an enormous feeling of triumph at outsmarting her. But that rush was quickly replaced with panic at seeing her without Vala in tow. Now Vala could be anywhere in the galaxy. And it was an awfully big galaxy for a woman of her unique talents. In the end, her plan had worked too well.

Dammit, they should have told her no, that it was too dangerous; that she was too valuable to risk; that they would find another way to gain the advantage in the war with the Ori. He knew logically that none of that would have deterred her from "doing her part" as she put it, but hindsight didn't now matter when she was gone and they didn't know when they would see her again. Or if they would see her again.

On the one hand, he desperately wanted her back. Not a second went by that he hadn't wished their scheme had gone according to plan and that she was back home and ribbing him about the silly video recording he had made of her. He wanted her to bug him about working too hard and then beg him to take her to dinner. He wanted her endless chatter distracting him from his translations as she did random errands and tasks as his assistant. He wanted her funny encounters with the crew to get back to him so that he could play the mild exasperation card while secretly delighting in the life she brought to the base. He wanted her…he just wanted her.

But on the other hand, he was glad that she wasn't around to see what had transpired in the last 24 hours. To see Adria captured and then taken from them by Ba'al. To see her own child, even though she denied it, turned into the very thing that had ruined her life haunted her no matter how much she tried to put it behind her. To watch Adria undergo the very procedure that had freed her yet led to the most unimaginable pain and torture she had ever experienced. And finally to see her flesh and blood dying before realizing the danger Adria posed with her ascension. He didn't want that for her.

He could just imagine how things would have gone if she were there. On an ordinary day, she had a flare for the dramatic. But that day, her exit would be more about wrestling the very real demons that she carried but never shared. They'd all wonder whether she was more bothered by the memories of how her own symbiote was extracted or by the nagging feelings of love and maternal concern that kept her from the callousness she so desperately wanted to present when it came to Adria.

He'd follow her of course, and they'd do the dance to which they'd become so accustomed over the last couple of years. She'd pretend to put on her brave face and make light of things. He'd play the caring friend and colleague who believed in her, not showing that he cared too much lest she suspect how far gone he was when it came to her. Then she'd look at him with those big, trusting eyes, revealing herself in a way that she reserved only for him. He felt scared by the gaze for the effect it had on him. But he also felt privileged to know that no one could see her the way that he did. He couldn't have imagined feeling that way again after losing so many people in his life. Hell, he had denied it for as long as his logical brain would allow.

Knowing that she was out there somewhere, hating him while he pined for her so desperately was too much for him. They simply had to find her because without her, he would slowly go insane for missing her, quirks and all. And that, he reluctantly admitted, was love. Daniel sighed with the realization and a fresh wave of emotion took over his senses.

"So you finally figured it out?" Sam asked with a soft, knowing smirk on her face.

Daniel started, having temporarily forgotten that she had joined him in his office for a coffee break. He grinned and ducked his head as a dull blush shaded his cheeks. "Well, you know how long it takes me to get the picture when it comes to these things."

Sam's smirk straightened out in mock seriousness. "Of course Daniel," she replied, knowing exactly how her friend tended to handle his emotional entanglements. She sighed into her coffee and leaned back in her chair. "Better late then never though, right?" The words were out of her mouth before she could consider their implication.

But it was too late. Daniel's grin turned sour, his worry returning along with his furrowed brow. "Maybe not in this case." He put his now empty mug down and walked purposelessly to the other side of the table.

"Daniel—" Sam began but he held his hand up to stop her all-too-familiar flow of words. He grabbed his empty mug and walked towards the mess to refill his cup and get a little space from his most recent thoughts. Sam let out another sigh and silently berated herself for turning the tide on their otherwise lovely coffee break. In the past few days, seeing instances of Daniel doing anything other than worrying about Vala were too few and far between.

Daniel kept his head down as he walked quickly down the hall, deterring anyone from engaging him in conversation. Not that anyone would. They all knew that the elusive doctor was particularly ill-mannered since Vala had been gone.

Daniel had known what Sam was going to say. He had heard it from dozens of people in a thousand different ways. 'Don't worry Daniel. We'll find her,' or 'Jackson, we'll get her back; she'll be alright.' How was she supposed to be alright when she wasn't with him; when she thought that they had all betrayed her—that had had betrayed her?

Vala awoke in a cold sweat and with labored breath as the last images of her recurring dream seeped into the quiet depths of space. It was the same thing as the other nights. Well, it was the same thing from those nights when she allowed herself to dream. Otherwise, it was just the darkness and the blessed numbness that she was growing accustomed to once again.

She didn't want to think of "them," to dream of "them," but somehow, they always found their way into her head. They would laugh with her and play with her like she had really been part of the team. And then the laughter turned dark and the play turned cruel. She was the outcast again and they were throwing her aside. Even him…especially him.

His presence in her mind was the worst. She hated him for what he had done to her. She hated him more for having made her love him first. But in the end, none of it mattered so she tried to force herself to let it go.

It was all so strange. She was clear about everything that had happened with her former SGC colleagues 3 days ago. But she just couldn't understand how she had gotten to this point. She chalked it up to being so deeply hurt by their behavior but then quickly quashed her urge to wax sentimental about their betrayal of her. Cold and unfeeling was the only way to go from here on out. If she had stuck to that motto, she wouldn't be in this awful mess.

But still, the details nagged at her. Why would she leave without taking anything with her? There was no way that she could ever return to Earth or to the SGC so why leave her most cherished possessions where they could steal them and lock them up forever? Even in her most desperate days, she would always take her treasure box. She never traveled without having certain access to it.

And why did she make her way to that particular commerce planet to get herself back on her feet? With the Tau'ri so hot on her trail no doubt, it was ludicrous to spend so much time on a commerce planet so close to their dealings. And that particular tavern? Well, it was known for its vicious gamblers who were almost impossible to cheat. She had stayed away to avoid trouble and for good reason. Thank the false gods she had spent her obligatory sulking period reinforcing that new coat she had acquired. Otherwise, well, she didn't want to imagine what would have happened to her. Besides, she had had a bad feeling about staying in that place too long. She wouldn't have been surprised to hear about some other-worldly evil befalling the usually resilient establishment.

She sighed as she stepped out of bed and yet again grabbed the bottle of liquor that she now constantly kept in her bag. She took a deep swig, hoping that the intoxicating effect would help her get back to sleep. She needed her rest if she was going to unload this cargo ship with the traders she had been in contact with. She was sure the owner she had swindled the ship from would be looking for her and she wanted to be long gone. Besides, with both the Taur'i and the Ori, thanks to her evil daughter, looking out for her, she needed to lay low and keep running. No matter what happened in her life, she was always good at that. She smiled bitterly thinking about how easily she could slip back into the unsavory role of thief and con artist for which she was obviously meant.

"To the life that suits you…" Vala mumbled and raised her bottle in mock salute to her former friends at the SGC who had so easily thrown her to the wolves. She tried to muster up enough anger to sustain an obsession over their betrayal but all she could feel was sadness, longing and then the numbness that she had craved all along.

To be continued…

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