Title: Dumbstruck

Genre(s): Drama; Humor

Summary: AU. Things are going pretty well for Ignis; he has a good job, a hot girl, and a nice flat. That's all a guy can ask for, right? One faithful Saturday night, he has a one-night stand with an odd girl named Molly. That's when his life gets… well, a little shitty.

Couple(s): Molly/Hikari X Ignis; slight (flirting) Molly/Hikari X Chase/Chihaya

Other: One-shot; AU (Alternate Universe); the idea is kind of from this song called 'Everywhere We Go' by Hollywood Undead. It's rather inappropriate to listen to if your under the age of… well, 14 or 15… whatever.

Added: August 14, 2011; 3:40pm; Sunday

[Disclaimer]: I do not own Harvest Moon or any of the characters. It belongs to Natsume and Marvelous Entertainment. This story is based on Harvest Moon: Animal Parade/Waku Waku Animal March.

Dumbstruck

[One-shot]

You're probably here to read about a simple story about a man falling in love with a girl, or a romantic comedy about two friends having sex, then end up confessing their undying love to one another 5 years later.

Well, sorry to burst your bubble but this story… is nothing like that… rather… it's a sad, sad story about a fuck up. And, yes-it is indeed what you just read, and no—the author is not over exaggerating.

You're also probably wondering, who the hell is this author referring to—and yes, you should be; If you're thing about cookies or some other random thing, then… why? That's just… that doesn't even make any sense, get your head in the game, really.

Anyways, his name—the man this story is based upon, and his inevitable failure—is Ignis. Yeah, his name is rather different from the ordinary guy—its origin is the Latin word for fire, and why—do ask, is the reason for this? Well, when his mother was impregnated, their house had caught on fire. Seeing as both mother, father, and baby was alive—and the mother was rather traumatized by fire ever since. That and… well, his hair rather suited it—seeing as though it was rich shades of red, orange, and golden yellow.

His mother was rather disappointed—he didn't really inherit anything from her; his looks, and personality was from his Pops, who freaking had a blast rubbing it in his wife's face. Although, he didn't have the luxury to do that after they found out his brains, were indeed from his mother—who, by the way, was a genius. Top marks in all his classes (and yeah, all his classmates were hella jealous).

The guy pretty much had a successful life, until… that Saturday night, when his life was just… officially fucked.

He was by himself, at a random dive bar downtown in the city. He was indulging himself in the sweet nectar most men would call alcohol. He was celebrating by himself, his boss had given him a promotion—not only that, but he was going to propose to his long-time girlfriend.

Yep, life was just so awesome for him—and his friends; well… they were pretty much the male equivalent to 'Sex in the City'. If anything, Ignis would probably be more Miranda, plus a little bit of Charlotte (the only reason why he knows their names and the plot is because his girlfriend makes him watch it with her, pretty much torture for his masculinity).

Feeling pretty satisfied with himself about everything that was going on with his life, Ignis signaled the bartender over from his spot.

"Can I get another beer, please?"

The bartender gave him an incredulous look, "Dude, you had, like, five beers already!"

Eh, he was used to this. He was almost immune to getting drunk, (almost) so he could drink a lot of alcohol without the side effects.

He just waved off the bartender, gave him a look when he did so.

"So… why exactly are you trying to drink yourself to death?" he asked, re-filling Ignis's cup.

"Well," Ignis started, playing with the napkin his drink had previously been sitting on, "I just got a promotion today, and I'm planning on asking my girlfriend to marry me."

The bartender had put his drink down beside him, he leaned on the counter and started drumming his fingers on the surface.

"Aw, isn't that just sweet!" he replied mockingly.

Ignis glared at him; not saying anything else. The bartender went back to the cup he had been cleaning all afternoon.

After taking a sip of his drink, Ignis replied, "You know, I always thought only girls wear hairpins."

The bartender glared at him, then touched the black hairpins that was holding back some curls on his strawberry blonde head.

"I'll have you know," he growled through gritted teeth, "that these pins keep my hair out of my face! And they are unisex, the box clearly said so!"

"Mhm, that's the first step to denial."

The blonde got an olive from behind the counter and flicked it at Ignis, who slightly flinched from the impact.

"Anyways, what's your name kid?" Ignis asked, wiping some of the residue the olive had left on his face from impact.

"My name's Chase," the man in question answered. "And I'm not a kid, I'm 25."

Ignis just shrugged, going back to having his own little fiesta.

"That still makes you a kid."

"Oh, really? How old are you then?" Chase asked.

"Meh, I'm 26."

Chase just raised one of his eyebrows, but said nothing more—the hell did he look like arguing with a total stranger anyways?

Awhile passed and people slowly started pouring into the bar, all the while Ignis was ordering more drinks—he was starting to get a little drunk (just a little).

Chase gave him a look, "Okay, I don't think you need anything more to drink, you've had 8."

"You know what; I think that I can do whatever the fuck I want to!" Ignis replied lazily.

Chase didn't say anything more—seeing as though another customer was asking for another drink.

Ignis looked over to the customer in question, when, all of a sudden, his heart almost stopped—and no; don't assume it's all romantic, dayyum!

Well, the person he was staring at was a young girl—or honestly put, a hot girl. She had short brown hair that was framed around her face, making her look rather adorable. She had a rather admirable bust, and thick, creamy legs.

"Dear, God…" Ignis couldn't help but openly stare at this girl, she was just… sexy and adorable at the same time—and that's pretty freaking impossible to pull off.

Apparently Ignis was openly staring for awhile, because Chase came back over, saw his face, and starting laughing.

"D-Dude, wipe the drool from the side of your mouth!" Ignis glared at him and, indeed, wiped the saliva from the side of his mouth.

"Shut up!" he growled in response, a sweet shade of pink painting his cheeks.

Chase chuckled and looked in the direction Ignis was staring. His eyes widened, and he too, started drooling a little. "Hot damn, who is that chick?"

Ignis gave him a look, "The hell, you were the one who served her!"

"Well, I didn't look at her! I just took her order and gave her the damn drink!"

They both soon dropped the subject when the girl sheepishly asked Chase for another drink. Ignis gave a dark glare to Chase's retreating back—who was all the while grinning ear from ear.

Ignis took another sip of his drink and went back to staring at the girl. Now, Ignis wasn't all for the whole 'one person forever' thing; he and his girlfriend agreed that, during their relationship, they could have sex with other people. And, dammit, he would be damned if anyone—especially Chase—was going to have a go with that girl; he was quite certain that he was going to leave that club with her.

When she got up to go to the bathroom, he made his move. Chase saw him from the corner of his eye and gave him a menacing look, which he returned.

He waited outside the girls restroom until she came out, walking right into his muscled chest.

"Why, hello there," he said seductively—already, he could tell just by looking at her that she wasn't used to coming to bars, and—therefore, not used to being approached by random men.

The girl looked up at him, her eyes widened and she started blushing. "Oh, why—uh… hello there," she replied sweetly. She was trying to get around Ignis but found it rather difficult, seeing as though he was bigger, and stronger than her.

"Um, c-can I get by, please?"

"What's your name?" he asked, completely ignoring her request.

The girl looked rather surprised, but answered him, "Oh, m-my name? It's Molly," she tried, yet again, to get past him, but he blocked her attempts with his arm.

"Well, hey there Molly, what's a pretty thing like you doing at a bar like this?"

Molly started losing her patience, and just went crawled under his arm. He looked at her, shocked; she returned his look with a frown and headed back to her seat.

Ignis pouted, but went back to his own seat, brooding from his evident rejection.

Chase yet again went over to him and laughed, which only further pissed him off.

"Oh my God, you should've seen the look on your face when she shook you off," Chase chuckled, still cleaning that same cup. "Oh, man, you just got dissed."

Ignis growled at him, his anger only increasing.

"Oh yeah," he started, gripping his cup tighter, "why don't you try then? Or, your balls didn't drop yet?"

Chase gave him the finger—but nonetheless accepted his challenge.

He walked over to the girl and winked at her, leaning on the counter. "Why, hello there," he gave her his most dashing smile, which had a significant effect on her, like it does most women. "I've never seen you around here before, what might your name be?"

Molly's eyes widened, and the blush that had appeared on her face before had deepened. "Uh, m-my name is Molly," she held out her hand tentatively, "nice to meet you Chase."

He shook her hand and wiggled his eyebrows at Ignis—who, by now, had crushed the cup that was in his hand. The other bar patrons stared at him in shock—most others fear, but he paid them no mind; his attention was squarely on Chase, who was flirting with the girl he had planned (and would still) take home.

An hour passed and people were starting to leave; yet Ignis, Molly, and a couple other people were still there. Chase was still flirting with her, and Ignis was starting to lose his patience with the boy.

When Molly had, again, gotten up to go to the bathroom, Ignis glared menacingly at Chase and went to go follow her inside. He entered the girls' restroom to find Molly washing her hands; when she looked up she shrieked.

"Eep! W-what are you doing in here?" she yelled, attempting to cover herself (but what was the point of that, it's not like she's nude).

He didn't say anything though, but simply grabbed her wrist, pulled her to him, and kissed her passionately. At first, Molly tried to pull away, but ultimately started getting into it. His arm snaked around her waist, pulling her even closer to his chest.

Just as soon as he kissed her, he pulled away—a trail of saliva following him.

"Wow… that was… r-really good…" Molly spoke slowly.

"Yeah, yeah it was." Now was his chance—he could easily go for the kill, "Hey, you want to go back to my place?"

Molly nodded enthusiastically—that pretty much settled things, now he can run it in Chase's face!

Both of them left the restroom, Molly's arms wrapped around his waist. Chase looked up from making another drink; his eyes widened and his mouth agape.

When Ignis opened the door he looked back at Chase and stuck his tongue out childishly. Oh, how awesome he felt to have one, take that!

Chase slammed the drink down on the counter in outrage. "Son of a—"

He didn't finish, because Ignis had closed the door.

. . . . . .

Almost a month passed since that faithful one-night stand, and Ignis had made his way back to that bar.

"Well, well, look who we have here," Chase says rudely, "If it isn't Casanova; what're you doing here?"

Ignis just slumped on the counter, covering his face. Chase raised an eyebrow at him.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

Ignis lifted his head up, his eyes blood-shot, face scruffy and unshaved—honestly, the man looked a mess.

"M-My life sucks," he replied sadly, it almost sounded like he was about to cry. "You have no idea how much I fucked up… in a month."

Chase couldn't help but chuckle at this, really, this guy—who looked like he could be a male underwear model—beating himself up over… what exactly…? Chase couldn't shake the feeling of complete curiosity.

"Why does your life suck, exactly?"

"Well, remember that girl I left with a month ago, Molly?" Ignis mumbled from behind his sleeves of his black hoodie.

Chase just grumbled a simple "Yes," God, there wasn't a day where he couldn't stop thinking about those legs.

"I-I," Ignis started crying; and Chase—well… he tried to stop himself from bursting with laughter. "I got her pregnant!"

Chase just stared at him for a minute, and then fell to the floor in a fit of laughter. "O-Oh my GOD! Are you fucking kidding me!"

Ignis looked up and glared at him, tears leaking from his eyes. Even while crying, and unshaved, the man looked sexier than ever.

"Shut the fuck up, pansy," He pouted. Chase got up and gave him a beer—he needed it.

[A/N]: I thought I would make this a three-shot, but I changed my mind. It's mostly for the laughs, hope you like it. Feedback would be good, because I might make another one-shot—it'll be different though.