Hello journal.
His Majesty mentioned that writing feelings down in order to try and understand them would be a good idea, because you can go back and read what you wrote when you were feeling that emotion when you're calmer so that you can try and see what was going through your head so that you can be calmer and more rational…
So here it goes… I… I was training with His Majesty and a couple of the other Stern Ritter two on two, with myself and Bambietta on one side, with Haschwalth-sama and His Majesty on the other.. I know, not much of a contest as we were going to lose as they lead us for many reasons, one of which being that they are so powerful…
But I was fighting pretty well and it was a two on two spar, as we're trying to prepare to destroy those horrible Soul Reapers who had slaughtered so many of us… But I've never met a soul reaper… But why? Why would they kill us? … Sorry, I'm getting off topic.
So I was sparring directly with His Majesty – I prefer a sword to a bow anyways and His Majesty is of course the best swordsman… I'm always so honored when he gives me attention and… And I did seem to be winning – though he was going easy on me so that I can learn how to fight properly and I was close to landing a hit on his body – not that I would have hurt His Majesty as the training swords are dull and I would never hurt Him…
He…He… He smiled at me! Like an actual warm, approving smile and my whole body just locked up completely and I had no idea how to respond and I just… I think I blushed and might have passed out because the next thing I remember was waking up in the infirmary, getting poked and prodded.
Apparently something happened and I did pass out… Because his majesty smiled at me… What… What could this possibly mean? I'm such an idiot… I really shouldn't have… But He's so… He's so strong and confident and and and I get this strange bubbly feeling in my stomach and my heart races whenever I see him and his voice… Oh… It…
It sends shivers down my spine… His scent is enough to distract me if I don't know where he is, or haven't seen him in a while…
That's another thing that's odd… My senses are a lot sharper than the other stern ritter. I can see and hear and smell things a lot better and from further away than they can… And my eyes sometimes turn a bright yellow when I'm angry… At least that's what Bazz and Cang say… I wonder what that means…
Am I getting sick? But I don't feel those things around the others… Just around his majesty… I want… I want… I don't know what I want. I will serve him loyally for the rest of my life, and I will protect and defend him and his interests to my dying breath…
But why do I feel all floaty and fluttery around him? It makes no sense…
Well I've written in this faaar too much today I think. If anyone is reading this I, Kurosaki Ichigo, Stern Ritter C of His Majesty's Stern Ritter will murder you in cold blood.