Tumblr Prompt: "I almost lost you."

First Installment in my CaptainSwan Collection!

Slight AU, relatively follows the chain of events during the episodes set in the Underworld. Just a look into the emotions and thoughts of both Emma and Hook during his rescue. I think the reactions and conversations could have been much more raw, jarring, and emotionally charged than how the show presented it! The characters, plot, and location are not mine. I just love them, and love to write about them!

Emma's heart jumped into her throat as her eyes focused in on the figure chained and hanging above the swirling waves of the River of Lost Souls. She skidded to a halt about 100 yards away from him, unable to move, unable to breathe.

The image of him, lifeless in her arms, after he sacrificed himself for her family came back up from where she had buried it. It was as if it happened yesterday: the dull thud as his knees gave out and hit the ground, how his eyes closed and never opened again. Killian had looked just like he was sleeping; yet his chest never rose with breath and his neck never pulsed with a heart beat. An unbelieving, pained "Hook!" had escaped her lips. As she held him in her arms, she wept for not only his loss, but the loss of their future together. Her arms trembled around him, sobs wracking her thin frame. It just wasn't fair. They were supposed to have a happy ending. She had sacrificed so much to save him in Camelot because she couldn't bear to think of a life without him. This leather-clad, charming to a fault, smoky eyed pirate had rooted himself into her life, and into her heart. But then he was painfully torn, ripped, pulled, wrenched from her in the most brutal way.

As her mother held her back, letting his hand drop from her clenched grasp, her whole world had crumbled. She had been so independent, closed off, alone for so long; her walls had just strengthened as the years went on. But this town, her family, Killian, they all had worked hard to take down her walls brick by brick. And they loved her just the same. She felt accepted, finally having found a home, with a family who never gave up on her, and a man who vowed to never leave her. But cruelly he was taken from her, that damn pirate being a hero and selflessly sacrificing himself. She couldn't tell if she had been angry, sad, frustrated, depressed, or a mix of everything. Whenever she felt like there were no more tears left to cry, she'd get a whiff of the sea. Next she would get unbelievably angry at whoever was to blame for this turn of events, frustrated beyond all hell that her happy ending was taken from her. Then she would get mad at herself because she opened her heart and her life to someone who left her, just like everyone else. But mostly she held the sadness within her, trying to take one breath at a time, one step at a time. Because right behind sadness, the most prevalent emotion, reaction, and thought was stubbornness. She was not going to just accept this was the reality. She had fought too damn hard to ensure Killian survived, and to have him ripped away from her so soon afterwards? Fuck. No. This was her life, and goddammit she was going to fight for her happy ending.

A low groan tore her from these memories and refocused her eyes on Killian's swinging form. She had to tell herself that this was really him, he was really here...alive. She took a breath and hesitantly raised her foot to take a step. She paused, frowning, looking warily at her pirate. He's really there, you're not imagining it. This isn't some cruel trick, trust that he's there. Run to him, go to him, he needs you.

Emma found her feet and began running towards Killian. She felt her heartbeat thudding in her ears, her breath coming ragged. Again, she slowed in front of him, blinking a few times telling herself it was really Killian who was a few feet away. Tears pricked the corner of her eyes as she took in his injuries up close. Her eyes traced every injury on his body, tallying them up into an awful mental list. She knew Hades hadn't been the most gracious of hosts, but this…she was going to fucking kill the God of the Underworld.

One of his beautiful blue eyes was swollen shut, a nasty shade of purple adorning the eyelid. A litter of old, healing cuts and bruises were crisscrossed with fresh ones, a patchwork of pain on his pale skin. His lips, God she dreamed about kissing those lips, were cracked and split, a small trickle of bright red blood slithering down his chin. Her ears pricked at the wheezing sound escaping from Killian's lips. She guessed from broken ribs, at least bruised or cracked. His knee hung at an odd angle, and she winced thinking about how painful walking would be. She hoped that nothing was structurally wrong with it, just a sprain or overextension. That would make a hasty escape a little more complicated.

She reached out a hand towards the chains wrapping around his torso, but hesitated, for there was nowhere to grab him that he wasn't hurting. She sent up a silent prayer that Killian was too unconscious to feel what was about to happen, wrapped her hands around the chains, and pulled towards her. This only caused him to swing; there wasn't enough slack in the chain to put him down. He groaned loudly, pain lacing the sound and breaking Emma's heart. Shit.

She took a step back, steadying Killian above the water. Suddenly, the cogs turned and the chain slowly dropped a few inches towards the unforgiving waters below. Her eyes shot up, surveying the machine works above. Her eyes fell on the chain, and realized that it was on it's last turn. One more wheel turn and Killian would be falling towards the River of Lost Souls. Taking a breath she realized what was about to happen. I've got one shot to grab him, or he'll fall. And I can't use my magic...or Hades will know. Emma pushed her shoulders back, ready to save the man she loves. Steadying the swaying pirate, she put her arms around his torso, hooking her hands into the links. Her eyes followed the movements above, waiting for her moment. Finally, the cog wheel began to rotate, the chain slackening abruptly. This is it. Shifting into a lunge stance, Emma pulled with everything she had, crushing Killian towards her chest and leaning to the left. The chain flew out of the cogs with a metallic shriek and Killian landed safely, but painfully, next to Emma.

She felt him tense in her arms and he cried out. His eye shot open and he started wheezing uncontrollably, trying to breathe through the pain.

"Killian?" Emma hesitantly whispered, lessening her death hold but not removing her arms from around him.

"Em-Em-Emma?" The pirate breathed out. The small word seemed to take so much effort from him.

Her heart shattered at the pained, hesitant, uncertainly hopeful word. She moved her arm out from underneath him, pushing up to get a good look at him. She pulled the chains down and off his torso and they clinked loudly to the floor. A tear slipped down her cheek as she took in his facial injuries and saw the agony swirling in the hazy blue depth of his open eye. She gave him a small smile, relief flooding her veins as she realized he was safe.

In a moment the pain in his face transformed into distrust and disbelief. He doesn't think I'm really here.

"This...this is a tr-trick. You...you can't, can't be he-here," Killian tried to say with more force than he could muster. He attempted to push himself back and away from her, because she had to be a figment of his imagination, this had to be a trick from Hades meant to torment him further. He was done breaking his body, so now he was breaking his heart.

"No. Shh. Don't. I'm really here. It's me, Killian. I'm here. I promise."

Emma soothingly whispered these words, searching for a hint of the distrust to vacate his stony expression. He started shaking his head, and tried to push even further from her. With a cry, his arm crumbled beneath him and he curled in on himself, discomfort radiating from his tensed body. Emma's hands hovered over him, scooting closer to try and help. There was obviously something wrong with his arm or shoulder.

"Killian, please let me help you," Emma's voice cracked as the tears she'd kept at bay for the last few days in the Underworld finally flowed out. Her breath hitched as she laid a hand on his turned back, wanting to help, needing to help, needing him to know she came down here to save him, that she risked her family's lives to rescue him.

"I almost lost you."

Tears streamed unrelenting down her cheeks and she sobbed openly, emotions rising in her chest. She hadn't accepted that he was truly gone when he sacrificed himself in Storybrooke, so she came down to the Underworld to save him. She hadn't accepted he couldn't be saved when she learned Hades had him and was torturing him. And she hadn't accepted that he was already lost, because she's the Savior and he needed saving. But with every setback, every complication, every run in with Hades, her hope started to dim. What if she had truly lost him? What if this trip was pointless, and she couldn't get to him in time?

Killian's head turned towards her, and shifted painfully to face her. He took a steadying breath and looked at her, really looked at her. Slowly, the apprehension receded and recognition lit his eye. With a pained gasp he moved himself closer to her until he was inches from her tear-streaked face.

"Emma."

The blonde raised her head, the sadness and pain in her eyes overwhelming.

"It's y-you. It's really you," Killian whispered between shallow breaths.

She gave a short nod before tears once again welled in her green eyes. Her hand came up to lightly caress his face, not wanting to touch him and cause him more pain.

"I'm right...here, love. You did-didn't lose me."

Emma gave a sob as Killian dipped his head into her touch, ignoring the dull ache the movement elicited. She had almost lost him for good, but she never gave up, and here he was, really was, right in front of her.

She held her hand there for a few beats, relishing in the feelings of relief and love that washed over her. She knew they had to get moving, and quickly, their escape route wouldn't be open for long.

"Killian."

His pained expression fixated on her. Her eyes jumped between the shallow rise and fall of his chest, the ginger way he was favoring his knee, the way he cradled his arm to his chest.

"Killian. You have to stand. We have to get out of here."

Emma watched with concern as he set his mouth in a firm line and gave her a sharp nod. He went to push himself up from where he sat, but his arms trembled and caved beneath his weight. He gave a pained cry as he hit the ground. Emma quickly got to her feet and leaned over him, ready to help.

"Are you okay?"

Killian huffed with frustration.

"Aye, love. Just give me a second."

Emma worrily hovered near enough to offer a hand, but far enough for Killian to try it on his own. She noticed him leaning on his hook, hiding his other hand beneath his vest. He pushed up and used his good leg to stand. He slowly straightened up, grimacing and fixed Emma with a determined stare.

"What's wrong with your arm?"

Something flashed in Killian's blue eye and his shoulders tensed.

"It's nothing, love. We should get moving," the pirate said brusquely.

Rolling her eyes, Emma closed the distance between them and put her hands on her hips. Killian heaved a frustrated sigh and extricated his hand from beneath his vest. Emma immediately noticed his wrist hung at an odd angle. The wrist attached to his only real hand.

Emma placed her hand softly on the swollen joint and tried to catch Killian's gaze.

"I can fix that, don't worry. You'll have the use of your hand back, I promise Killian."

The pirate solemnly nodded his head and shifted his eye up to meet the blonde's gaze. He took a steadying breath.

"Let's go, love."

With a nod, Emma stepped closer ready to help get her pirate out of this literal hell hole. She carefully grabbed his hook and raised his arm up to place over her shoulders. He inhaled sharply, ribs protesting at the movement. Emma glanced up, alarmed and concerned. He gave her a pained grin, conveying that he was alright.

Killian put most of his weight on his good leg and the pair began to hobble slowly towards the exit. Emma could feel him weakening with every jolted step they took together. It was as it every few steps he would pause and take a breath, willing himself to go further.

Emma kept her eyes focused on the route in front of them, but every couple seconds she would fix her pirate with a concerned look. His mouth was set in a determined line, but she could see him losing what little energy he had. He was incredibly stubborn though. Even as he took those slight breaks, he never stopped. He was pale and clammy, with his breath hitching uncomfortably. But he never stopped.

Emma's mind wandered as they began the long walk down the tunnel towards where Gold, Milah, and the boat awaited them. She subconsciously tightened her grip on Killian's arm, not wanting to let him go. He was really here, she had really found him...and though he was a little worse for wear, he was for all intents and purposes alive. All at once she wanted to jump for joy, laugh, and cry. Her heart filled with love for this man, and all he had done to save her family and survive down here. He was so strong and she couldn't help but feel awash with pride. It hardly felt real that just a few days ago she was so convinced he was lost forever...and now he was here with her very much alive.

I almost lost him, she thought. Stealing another glance up at him, she couldn't help but smile. But I didn't. She gave the arm she held around her shoulders a squeeze. Killian dropped his gaze down to her, and she could feel the gratitude and love that swirled amidst the haze of pain. He's alive, she reminded herself. And as her emotions began to level out and her sadness receded, a new determination set it. She was going to get them the hell out of there, because she'd gotten her pirate back and now she was definitely never letting him go.

Thank you so much for reading! Thoughts or comments, anything is extremely appreciated. This is the first installment of a larger collection, so buckle up!